Oh god I feel like most of the ways I've hurt myself are dumb.
Once I got up from a chair while holding my infant DD and didn't realize how fully asleep my foot was, where my dog had been laying on it. I tried to put weight on it and went straight down. I sprained my ankle really badly, it took months to heal. But I didn't drop DD!
Post by ProfessorArtNerd on Jan 21, 2024 16:17:19 GMT -5
I was making a cheesecake, using. Stand mixer. The spatulas slipped into the beater, and like a dipshit I didn’t immediately let go. Spiral fracture of my right thumb.
Bonus- walking to my summer class, only my second as the instructor. Wearing ambitious heels. Busted my ass on a wet spot- broken elbow, and a sprained ankle.
Once I got up from a chair while holding my infant DD and didn't realize how fully asleep my foot was, where my dog had been laying on it. I tried to put weight on it and went straight down. I sprained my ankle really badly, it took months to heal. But I didn't drop DD!
I did something very similar minus the dog... and I was just really bruised on the entire left side of my body. DS was okay & I sobbed. I think he was 6 weeks old.
When I was 17 I was arguing with my younger sister and decided to grab a kitchen chair and bang it on the floor to emphasize whatever I was yelling about. I slammed it down right on my two little toes and definitely broke both of them. The next day I had to go to a debate tournament where I was expected to wear dress shoes, and that was a uniquely painful way to experience some natural consequences.
Right after H and I got married I dropped my disposable razor in the shower and didn't check to make sure the blades were still aligned correctly before using it. I shaved a nice strip of skin off my right calf and spent the summer unable to use the pool and with with a huge bandage over the area because it was too big and not deep enough for stitches.
Three summers ago I stepped out of my garden onto the patio--literally just from dirt onto concrete with virtually no lip--and managed to fall ass over heels. I cracked two ribs.
That same summer--literally the following week--I was frying something and stupidly splashed some water into the hot oil. I wound up with second-degree burns up and down my right arm. Between that and my ribs H started asking if I needed a babysitter.
I had a paring knife in my soft lunch bag and stupidly leaned my arm on it while pumping gas. Blood everywhere! I was in my 20s and called my mom to help me decide if I needed stitches. 20 years later, I still have an ugly scar.
Last fall, I broke my foot by tripping on a curb walking into work.
Year before that, I ended up tearing my meniscus in my right knee from taking the stairs at work too fast.
The worst, I was taking down wallpaper in our kitchen, lost my balance, and put my elbow through the window. I still have long-term nerve damage from that. 🤦♀️
Post by fivechickens on Jan 21, 2024 18:03:50 GMT -5
I was 15/16 and ran in heels toward my friend’s car in our HS parking lot. Of course, I tripped and skidded across the asphalt on all fours. I still have gravel in my knee.
I've given myself multiple deep cuts on the pad of the same finger simply by opening different sour cream containers. WHY are the lids so sharp- and why do I keep opening them?
Post by honeydew1894 on Jan 21, 2024 19:31:46 GMT -5
I have cut my fingers three times since Christmas Eve! Once was with a mandoline slicer and twice with knives. I blame being chronically distracted, but it took forever for them to heal.
Post by fluffycookie on Jan 21, 2024 19:34:14 GMT -5
I tripped going up the stairs when my slipper came off and broke two metatarsals. I walked on it for two weeks thinking it was a sprain even though I couldn’t fit my foot in a shoe. Finally went to urgent care and had X-rays and spent 8 weeks in a boot. I also fell down a set of stairs and broke a toe of the other foot. Both feet hurt all the time.
While I was lecturing my kids about pool safety I, not watching where I was going, tripped over a chair close to the edge of the pool, fell in, and broke my toe.
My previous dog, a german Shepard, liked to eat her bedtime cookie and then roll on her back smiling. One night, I turned out the light and walks to bed, and stepped into her mouth, one if her teeth slides the pad of my pinky toes basically off. I freaked out because dog germs, toe, etc and made H get up and take me to the ER for cleaning and stitches (it was 11pm). We sat there all night, and by the time they saw me, it was too late for stitches (over 6 hours or something). It healed better than I expected it to. My blood pressure was through the roof there because our state has/had strict dog bit rules, and I was so concerned she would get tagged a dangerous dog, when really… I stepped into her open mouth.
Post by notsopicky on Jan 21, 2024 20:30:43 GMT -5
Too long of a story to tell, but let's just say it involved a linoleum floor, broccoli, heeled loafers, and mighty string of expletives in a school (after dismissal, to be clear). Broke my foot in the process.
Post by MixedBerryJam on Jan 21, 2024 20:40:18 GMT -5
I dropped an old, all-metal pasta machine on my foot and broke two toes. The bruise lasted for months. And the other one that I still OMG myself, 30 years later, I was inspecting something (no idea what) on a snake plant, which is commomly known as a "Motherin law's tongue" because of its sharp and cutting leaves, and I bent too close and the tip punctured my eyeball, and it was infected within a couple of hours.
And if we're talking about other people's embarrassing injuries, my mom was an adventurer, seriously. Did things like white water rafting, and diving and stuff. The week before my high school graduation (1974) she was at the grocery store stocking up, and stepped off the curb and broke hwr wrist. She was mortified to have fallen at stop n shop, and made up a story that it has happened paragliding. She died at 85 (2015) and at her funeral there were people who still believed it. She told us she had picked a scenario no one would believe just to be funny, but apparently people believed.
This is one of my family’s favorite stories: when I was 12 (yes, 12) I was waiting for my dad to take me to the corner store to buy candy and holding a quarter over my head. I dropped the quarter into my mouth and swallowed it. I had to have it surgically removed because it got stuck in my esophagus.
Post by starburst604 on Jan 21, 2024 20:58:20 GMT -5
Age 10-ish. Starting spinning around in my kitchen in the way that dumb kids do out of the blue. Made myself so dizzy I fell face down on the ceramic tile floor and smashed one of my front teeth in half. I’ve had repeat dental work in the 35+ years since to correct that dumb fall.
TW? This is kind of gross if you don't like eye injuries.
Our family frequently went to the demolition derby when they happened at the county fair each year (god, it hurt to write that out). I must have been ten or so, and my eye was bothering me after the demolition derby. It was a persistent irritation that an eye wash would not relieve.
We eventually went to the eye doctor, who figured out it was a piece of metal from a car lodged in my eye and was able to *drill it out* at our local Shopko vision center. After he removed it, there was a little rust ring left on my eyeball.