Mine is younger (8), but between my husband and I, we coach her in all of her sports or manage the team, so we have to be there. Both of us usually go because we are both involved on some level in her main sports.
Post by honeydew1894 on Apr 19, 2024 4:40:13 GMT -5
As a family, we all go to DS's and DD's games. DS plays travel (year-round) and rec baseball, and flag football (winter-spring). Dd plays baseball (spring and fall).
For us, it is a combination of socializing as we have become friends with the other parents and wanting to see the kids. That said, we are both teachers so we are off work in time for all of it. We have taken time off for out-of-town tournaments. I feel that these years are so short so I personally do whatever I can to always show up. I also love watching sports so that is also a factor.
Post by midwestmama on Apr 19, 2024 6:42:13 GMT -5
I go to absolutely as many as I can, which is probably 95+%. I love watching my kids play sports (or watch DD dance when she was taking dance classes) and going to DD's plays for drama club, band concerts, and her Odyssey of the Mind competitions. I swam in middle school and my freshman year of HS. My dad came to all my regular season meets freshman year (I don't remember about middle school), and my mom only came to one because my dad was out of town for work. It made me sad that she only came that one time because she had to.
For your specific question about regionals, sunshineandpinot, if it were me, I would definitely go. Getting invited to regionals is a big deal.
I will say that meet times and games are not always planned in a way that is easy for some working parents. When DS ran track last year, the meets started at 3:45. Next year when he plays football and hopefully baseball, I think the games will start around 4/4:30 because JV plays after Freshman.
The default for DH and me is to go. With kids in different activities, we often divide and conquer. That said, if I have something previously scheduled and can't make it, I don't make a big deal of it. I feel you though. DS is in indoor percussion. All of his competitions are at least an hour away, they charge $20 to get in, his team preforms for 3 minutes, and it's not something I'm really interested in to begin with. But so far at least one of us has been at each event. My mom used to come to every single game I had and even though I of course did not fully appreciate it when I was a kid, I do now.
Post by dcrunnergirl52 on Apr 20, 2024 6:53:46 GMT -5
My kids don't do sports but do theatre and are usually in the ensemble. They generally are in 4-5 shows per year, and most shows are performed 5-8 times. We don't go to every performance, particularly on days when they have a matinee and an evening performance. That day is also typically "strike" day when parents also need to help to dismantle the set, sort costumes, etc., after the last show, which can go as late as midnight. I'll typically go to the evening performance and then to strike at the end, and DH stays home with the other kids.
I go to everything I can. One of mine is also a runner and the track meets are brutal. But that and swimming are his only sports so I go to support him. His sister plays everything under the sun and I go to all of her things too. Their older brother is probably running track in high school next year, and I’ll go for those too. My husband is way more laid back. He’ll go to someone’s if I can’t because I’m somewhere else. He will very rarely come and watch with me unless it’s somewhere on the city because I hate city driving.
It annoys me that he doesn’t make more of an effort. This is such a brief period of our lives, and I know our support means everything to them. I loved my parents dearly and I do know they loved me but I never felt like a priority to them - they were off living their lives and sort of just fit me in. My childhood absolutely colors my perspective on my own parenting and I never want my children to doubt how loved and supported they are and how proud of them I am for everything they do (I’ve also been to numerous chess matches and robotics competitions).
I'm truly surprised/impressed by how many people go to everything. My kids are little, so we're at everything because we have to drive them there, nothing is school-based, and it's all in the evening or on weekends. Occasionally, there will be something that requires us to leave work early (e.g., Friday 3 p.m. dress rehearsal for a Saturday dance recital) and we make it work, but it's rare, and we've intentionally not signed up for things that occur weekly before 5:30.
If they join teams in middle or high school and are taking the bus to other towns for games/meets that begin during work hours, we will miss a lot. For regionals, I imagine we'd work it out so at least one of us would be there, but I wouldn't fault someone who didn't.
We go to everything. I think I’ve missed a couple of things when I was working a hospital job with zero flexibility. That said, I don’t work/am just running my tiny business at the moment, so I can. I don’t judge those who can’t.
My kids are also in swim and track. I get that it’s so much harder because there’s not as much bonding for parents, the events are SO long, and your kid is only active for about 2 minutes total. It helps me to remember that the athletes have worked every bit as hard as any other athletes (and in the case of swim, often harder!) for that VERY brief event. And there are a lot fewer competitions. It’s not a great return on investment when you consider practice time/effort: competition! Then to add to it, at any event, you don’t have a 1:2 chance of winning, you have a 1:30+ chance of winning, and you just have to focus on your own time/distance. And there are no bonus awards like in dance. It takes a level of dedication with minimal external reward. PLUS, they’re kind of the “lesser” sports, at least around here.All the work, minimal payoff visible to others…and they do it anyway!
Anyway, those are the things I try to think about when its 40°and windy and rainy and we’re outside for hours, or 120° and 100% humidity with no moving air at the pool. They’re often not great spectator sports, that’s for sure!
My kids don't do sports but do theatre and are usually in the ensemble. They generally are in 4-5 shows per year, and most shows are performed 5-8 times. We don't go to every performance, particularly on days when they have a matinee and an evening performance. That day is also typically "strike" day when parents also need to help to dismantle the set, sort costumes, etc., after the last show, which can go as late as midnight. I'll typically go to the evening performance and then to strike at the end, and DH stays home with the other kids.
My neighbor is the drama teacher for our town, their oldest is in the middle school production and they go to every performance so my friend will take the 3rd and 5th grader to see the same play 4x this weekend.
I think that's so nice, she's really the nicest person and a better mom than I could ever be, I can't IMAGINE wrangling the two younger ones to see the same play 4x in one weekend.
ETA well the middle one is here at my house for the matinee today so hopefully that will help 😂
We went/go to every CYO XC meet. It's one of my absolute favorite things to do (a little less so since they changed the location from an iconic urban course to a bland suburban one, bah). I love our XC family - we've been with the same people for over a decade and I've seen stroller riding siblings grow up into big kid runners and we haven't missed a race. Next year is our last year and I honestly don't know how fall Sundays will feel without XC. We also tried to attend all the CYO track meets but they were far less enjoyable and more chaotic and the races are so much shorter so it's a LOT of sitting around, plus the spring weather is deceiving more cold, wet and miserable until the season is almost over, at which point it switches to blazing heat.
As for high school, DD1 has decided she is doing it for enjoyment rather than accomplishment so we go when we can (DH more than I) but there's a lot of back story into us all coming to the conclusion that we have it be less of a thing for us all and more of a low-pressure extracurricular. I THINK when DD2 gets there, we'll prob. make more of an effort with XC but that will be determined by what she wants.
We have a large conference and meets can be over an hour and a half away. If it is a weeknight we normally only travel an hour out unless it is a big deal meet like end of season. My oldest runs XC/Track. So we do miss some. In general I do try to attend everything as I think it is important. But we are also realistic about driving 3 hours just to watch him run a 55 second race lol.
Also I agree that track is much harder to bond with other parents. It always feel more disjointed. I love XC season and the community that comes with it. Track spectating is absolutely a testament to how much we love our kids lolol. It can be really fun, but it can also be long and miserable.
If it works, sure, absolutely. We do usually attend the bigger stuff, sometimes only by virtue of being the transportation! We have also both coached, done extensive volunteering, and also otherwise bent over backwards making opportunities financially and logistically available to our kids. There is no way either of them can ever say they don’t feel supported in our house. However, just more generally, I’m not going to completely drop everything to sit through another game.
My husband and I both missed our kid scoring 3/4 of her team’s points at her game this weekend - I was running a huge community event and my husband had errands to run that couldn’t wait and he was also helping me run the event behind the scenes. I wasn’t too chewed up about it. (Because of this thread I asked my daughter if she was bothered that we weren’t there, and she said she was fine with it, and I believe her.)
My parents missed a lot of my sports growing up because my mom was sick, hospitalized, and then dead, so I’ve never had nor set an expectation that 100% parental attendance is mandatory. Though of course it’s definitely a reminder to show up when you can, and like I said, we usually do. However, my goal is to raise adults who can function reasonably well when I’m not there, and these rare occasions seem like low stakes ways to practice that.
I also was thinking about support for musical performances. My son is in marching/jazz band which have a ton of competitions all in a row. And that is in addition to marching at football games and regular concerts throughout the year. We try to attend one competition for both jazz and marching band. Then of course we attend the concerts and most football games. But realistically it is way too hard to attend all of those events AND sporting events. We do have to work and function as a family at some point. :-)
I don't even know how my son keeps up with it all. It is a lot. High school is intense!
I'm mainly asking as they get older.... Both my daughters (12 & 15) play club volleyball and unless their schedules conflict, I attend every tournament. All the parents do. The games are high energy and a lot of fun. It would be weird to not go without a legit conflict. However, my older dd (freshman) is also swimming and running track in high school. The swim meets were all local, and I swam in HS so I have an interest in the sport. I went to every meet. No biggie, I also enjoyed that, though it's not as fun as volleyball IMO. Which brings me to track. :/ She joined track three weeks into the season (due to finishing swim.) She's a sprinter and running the 100, 200, 4x100 and 4x200. Barely over a minute on the track total. SURPRISE! She made regionals and it's 3 hours away. They are going the night before, staying in a hotel, and running the next day. Then they'll come home. Would you go? She claims she doesn't care but I think she'd like me to be there. I'd miss a day of work and have to figure out childcare for my younger dd, but that's all doable. Details aren't out yet; I don't even know where they're staying or the schedule of events. The track parents aren't as bonded; honestly I haven't met a single one and they don't seem to attend the track meets, maybe bc they're in the middle of the day? idk. Hoping more details come out today but I want to start getting my ducks in a row if needed.
I do what I can for regular sports (I have 3 kids and can only be in one place at a time!!) but for a bigger event like regionals I would make every effort to attend. Track meets can be rough bc they are long so only staying for your child's events seems reasonable. My daughter made it to New Englands for XC and indoor track and we had to travel 6 HOURS to Maine for an 18 minute race! The indoor track championship was closer but both of my daughter's went and one ran the first event and the other ran the last. I wanted to cry!
I try my damndest to be at any sport, performance, acknowledgement of my girls (15 &17). I love watching them do what they do, but also because I want them to know there is someone there for them. Childhood PTST because my parents worked and couldn't come to school or sports functions and it always made me sad. That being said, DH isn't always around so it's mostly just me & I have to pick and choose events as DD2 doesn't drive yet. I would try and go if DH was home and could Uber DD2 where she needed to be.