An HOA saga update for you

[googled]

Okay, here goes. This is so long, I'm so sorry. 😆 

So, I submitted my paperwork to run for the board, and by “paperwork,” I mean that I filled out the two question survey-type situation sent to everyone. The questions asked about qualifications and why you wanted to run for the board. In my “why” answer, I mentioned that while I commended the current board for the time and effort spent thus far, I felt like I had seen a lot of desire from my neighbors to see greater transparency, more communication, etc. I also mentioned that I wanted to make decisions with common sense and compassion, which was my “fuck you” to them for the way they handled my work van situation.

The candidate sheets were then sent out to everyone to review and vote on. One board member was stepping away, and there were several new candidates in addition to me, which, as far as I’m aware, is very new. The current board complains all the time about how everyone criticizes them but doesn’t volunteer. So, people seemed to have called their bluff.

A day or so after the candidate sheets went out, someone posted -anonymously- on the community FB group (which is not affiliated with or run by the HOA board) asking the candidates to answer a few additional questions to elaborate on their positions. I chimed in and said I’d be happy to. The questions asked seemed very skewed towards my candidate sheet in particular. They specifically talked about “common sense,” for instance. That might have just been because I was the first person to respond to their request, though, I’m not really sure.

I answered honestly and brought up how some of the rules that aren’t in our initial declaration are really silly and not followed or enforced (the color of your outdoor extension cords, vegetable gardens, nets in the yard), but then you have rules like the work vehicle rule that are disproportionally enforced and actually affect people’s livelihoods. I didn’t call anyone out specifically in my response. Another candidate (not currently on the board) also responded and answered the questions.

The HOA president’s sister responds to the thread completely on the defensive. She complained that not all of the candidates were in the FB group to answer the questions and starts basically saying that no one understands what a tough and thankless job it is. Did you know that they did XYZ and achieved ABC? DID YOU?? And they are treated so cruelly and talked about so poorly, etc etc.

I responded to her (here is where I fucked up) and said something along the lines of, “Well, they are all welcome to join the group, and I frankly don’t understand why they don’t. I know the president is a member of other neighborhood groups, I’m confused why he’s not in this one.” She said it was strange that I would look at a board member’s personal page. To recap, I only know he’s in another neighborhood group because the week he bitched at me about how I needed to be more understanding toward HIM because he was a volunteer, I saw him deriding the volunteers at the SPCA in this other group and accusing them of stealing his dog. I mimicked his words to me back at him in the comments and said something about how it must suck to have someone else’s fuck up cost him money.

So, I told his sister that no, I wasn’t creeping on his page, I just happened to see his post that was, ironically, complaining about volunteer workers. She said I was misrepresenting the situation, and I said that no, unfortunately, I wasn’t. Some other lady, meanwhile, is all over this post openly mocking the new candidates, particularly me, essentially saying how stupid it is to want to change the rules and we all knew what we were getting into by moving here, etc. She addressed me directly and referenced the SPCA post, defending the president and saying I was “snarky” and not compassionate to him, which, when you know the entire situation and realize I was repeating his words back to him is just so unbelievably ironic.

Anyways, I was not bitchy during any of this, just matter-of-fact (which I realize can also sound bitchy over social media, LOL), but at the end of the day, the fact is that they totally goaded me. I just should have left it, regardless of whether or not I was right or what they were saying was wrong. And I let it upset me so much because I felt targeted and belittled. I had a full blown panic attack that lasted well into the next day.

Then, a day or two later, the HOA president uses the HOA app to send out a 3-page letter echoing his sister, listing out all the things he’s achieved, saying how thankless a job it is, and also somehow complaining about how no one volunteers. He conveniently doesn’t address the SPCA post, probably because if anyone went to look that up, they’d see that literally no one sided with him and that he acted like a total jackass.

The HOA secretary reaches out to me at this point, because this is all very clearly spurred by my candidacy, and he says that they tried everything they could to find a loophole for my partner’s van, president included, and that they “actually spent money” on me with the lawyer, which is not at all what he told me before. I was told before that HE, the secretary, had a work van he wanted to park in his driveway and THAT is when they contacted the lawyer. Also, I don’t give a shit if you DID spend money on me. I pay a ridiculous amount in HOA fees.

He said something like, “I’m not trying to get you to drop out, but I just thought maybe if you had some context…” He also mentioned that they’re all worried and unsure of what’s going to happen because they’ve never had to run against anyone before. I told him I think the president is a bully, plain and simple, and I made sure he knew that I had to use my dead husband’s VA death benefits to purchase a new vehicle. He was apologetic - he has never been the problem though, he’s always been pretty kind about the whole thing.

He pointed out that they very rarely enforce the rules I had mentioned as being silly. He said there’s a guy in the neighborhood who lets his dog shit all over the front yard and never picks it up, and people keep complaining about it. I said, “So, why isn’t the rule about picking up after your pets enforced? Why aren’t you fining him for it?” He said, “it’s his private yard!” ……..So, I can’t park what I want in my driveway because people complain, but he can break another rule and nothing can be done, despite people complaining? None of it makes any sense.

Anyways, a few days later, the member of the current HOA board that is leaving after this vote sends his own two-page letter via the app echoing the president and shaming anyone who doesn’t think they communicate well, or do enough, etc. Another repeat of, “we all agreed to these rules and we should all be following them.” He hates the way they’re talked about, and on and on and on.

Another resident pulled the questions from FB into the HOA app and I just copy/pasted my answers over with an addition that despite what’s been suggested elsewhere, I’ve never suggested a sweeping change to the rules. My suggestion is to have more communication before rules are changed and to get more community input. To say that I’ve suggested otherwise is disingenuous.

Today we get a note from the property management company saying that several people have asked to change their votes and if you want to do so, you can submit a paper vote via email. I have no idea if that means people voted for them and would rather not anymore, or if people voted for me and would rather not anymore. Could really go either way. Honestly, I don’t want to win. I’ve riled them up a bit and reminded them not to get too comfortable. That's good enough for me. And I honestly don't want to end up having to deal with any of them on a regular basis. HA.

~ the end ~

[icedcoffee]

I want to be you when I grow up. Bravo!!

[livinitup]

I hope you win. Plus, you already have in a way.

I don’t trust the “many requests to change their vote” bit. It’s a vote. You voted. How in the world are they going to manage vote changes fairly??

If you don’t win, based on this “change their vote” thing, I’d request a re-count.

[bex1973]

Good for you! Also I can't be the only one thinking a revote is sus right?

[fluffycookie]

I would be looking up in the HOA laws if you can changed your vote after. That is shady as hell!

[litskispeciality]

Good lawd I can't articulate the right way, but basically these people have a LOT of free time that should be put to better use. I'm stuck on the logic it's a private yard, but you can't park your vehicle in the driveway, that to me seems to be on the townhouse/condo property.

I hate these people for you, and hope that they're all voted off the island.

[al dente]

Ugh I'm so sorry, I feel all the rage for you over this! I have nothing productive to add. But good for you for standing up! Tbh I think people would be changing towards you. We just had a zoom HOA meeting and tons of people were agreeing with me vs the board over a lot of issues that the board was trying to just skim over. I think a lot of times it takes one person speaking up and pointing it out for other to be like "oh ya why is that?!"

Anyways I hope you have a good outcome and no more drama from them.

[noodleoo]

Fuck them! I hope you win to spite them! But I also hope you don't because it sounds like a PITA. Good luck either way!

Also, I'm still mad about the whole van thing. They suck.

[lavenderblue]

My goodness these people are something. If nothing else, this solidifies the fact that I will never live any where with an HOA! But you my friend are a super hero. And I hope you win and Godspeed to the rest of them.

[fivechickens]

How long have they been bored members? Our HOA only allows members to be on the board for 2 terms/4 years (then if other wants to join they run, if not, then they can stay if residents are cool with it ), I think, which is good to get new fresh ideas in.

I’d rather have to look at a work van than smell shit all summer long.

These people are jackasses.

[wildrice]

Good job! I hope you win. I would think most people would lean more toward "HOAs are too picky" than the opposite, so someone proposing to make sure that rules make sense sounds great to me!

It's always hard to tell how things go on the internet, but I bet there are lots of others in your neighborhood who have been dinged for dumb stuff in the past and will be on your side.

[lilypad1126]

I am loving this. Great job! I get feeling like you don't actually want to win, but also, I'm imagining you winning and being a thorn in their sides and it's making me giggle.

HOAs are mainly a pain in the ass, and the power trip of some people on the board is big reason why. A little kindness and compassion (and common sense!) go a long way.

[Patsy Baloney]

Hahahahahaaa! Oh my goodness, how does it feel to be living rent free? All that space in their heads, you could park a whole fleet of work vehicles.

You go, girl.

[bex1973]

May 8, 2024 14:18:38 GMT -5 litskispeciality said:

Good lawd I can't articulate the right way, but basically these people have a LOT of free time that should be put to better use. I'm stuck on the logic it's a private yard, but you can't park your vehicle in the driveway, that to me seems to be on the townhouse/condo property.

I hate these people for you, and hope that they're all voted off the island.

Apparently googled 's partner should have parked the work van on the yard! I can't believe none of us suggested that LOL

[bittybomb]

This is very reminiscent of our last village election, down to the sister on the neighborhood FB page and everything.  Small town politics is ROUGH!  Good luck.

Also very relevant to us as we have a boat (we on Long Island near the ocean) and store our boat in our very very long driveway in front of our garage in the way back.  Many of our neighbors also have boats because of our proximity to the water, and they store them too in their driveways over the winter.  Other neighbors have RV's or jet skis.  The rule has been as long as the vehicle has a valid registration it can be stored on residential property.  Now they're talking about changing it and my husband is outraged because it would cost him several more thousand dollars a year to store the boat at a marina.  So are our boat owning and RV owning neighbors.  I am curious to see how it turns out.  I wouldn't mind not having to stare at the thing all winter but I also don't want to shell out more money and I do see my husband's point.

[maudefindlay]

Who is counting the votes? The current board?

[7costanza]

That “private yard” line is total bs. If they let anyone do whatever they wanted with their private yard, the HOA would not exist. I’m sorry you’re still dealing with this. Regardless of the outcome of the election I hope you continue to be a thorn in their side, lol.

[litskispeciality]

May 8, 2024 14:55:36 GMT -5 bex1973 said:

May 8, 2024 14:18:38 GMT -5 litskispeciality said:

Good lawd I can't articulate the right way, but basically these people have a LOT of free time that should be put to better use. I'm stuck on the logic it's a private yard, but you can't park your vehicle in the driveway, that to me seems to be on the townhouse/condo property.

I hate these people for you, and hope that they're all voted off the island.

Apparently googled 's partner should have parked the work van on the yard! I can't believe none of us suggested that LOL

Hahaha. Oh I'm SURE that's in violation of the HOA contract as it'll ruin the grass.

[MixedBerryJam]

OMG I just thought of you and you’re Situation today, as I was driving through a HOA neighborhood. It looked so tidy and pleasant and neighborly and it reminded me of your post and I’m sorry I didn’t even notice the … color of the extension cords!

[notsopicky]

That was a lot, and I'm here for it! GOOD JOB! Riled them up, indeed.

ETA: My favorite part? "I don't even want to win now." lol 🤣  I'd feel the same. 

[lust2hart]

Good for you!

[emilyinchile]

Can *I* vote for you?

When do you find out the results?

[googled]

May 8, 2024 15:05:31 GMT -5 maudefindlay said:

Who is counting the votes? The current board?

The property management company, I believe. Although our liaison there doesn't like me either. I lit her up via email when she kept ignoring my phone calls about the van. 😬 

[googled]

May 8, 2024 15:48:36 GMT -5 emilyinchile said:

Can *I* vote for you?

When do you find out the results?

LOL I wish! We find out at the next meeting on the 20th. 

[googled]

Oh, I forgot - my brother and I got into a spat in the middle of all of this because when I was asked to elaborate on why I wanted to run, I mentioned that my brother and his family also live in the neighborhood and so I'm very invested in its future, that sort of thing.

He wanted me to not mention him at all because he is worried about his kids walking around the neighborhood and being targeted somehow because of me.

He and his wife were the ones to encourage me to run, and he's basically refusing to openly support me in writing. He initially said he was going to run with me and then backed out, first because he said he was too busy, but then admitted later it was because they're all such assholes and he didn't want to be targeted. Good to know now, bro.

[10outof9]

OF COURSE the same people who complain about no one wanting to step up and volunteer are the same people now complaining because they’ve never run unopposed.

What the actual fuck

[jlt19]

We moved to a heavily ruled neighborhood (not an HOA yet because they’re still developing 20 years later). I knew about some of the stuff, but not all. And honestly, I may not have moved here if I had known. So, I really hate all that “you know what you signed up for”.

We got the rules when we closed and everything is enforced because the property management is a paid full time staff we employ. And I didn’t know about the super secret FB group for months and that’s where everyone complains about how the residents don’t have any actual say in anything. But I see it likely wouldn’t be any better, we’d just add on the “volunteer” whine.

Good luck, hopefully it works out for the best, either way.

[court26]

Wow. I’m very impressed by your path here. Can’t wait for another update. They are so ridiculous.

[thejen626]

I hope you win. Fuck them.

I do have to mention… I was the Vice President of my hoa for two years. It was HELL. So much worse than what you’re already dealing with. I finally sold my house and moved 5 minutes away because I was so sick of the drama, in 2017. Sadly, moving didn’t help. The haters from that neighborhood literally followed me around online for YEARS. It was a completely insane experience. I ended up moving 2 hours south just to get away from the constant negativity, in 2020, which was THREE YEARS LATER.

[googled]

May 8, 2024 17:36:07 GMT -5 thejen626 said:

I hope you win. Fuck them.

I do have to mention… I was the Vice President of my hoa for two years. It was HELL. So much worse than what you’re already dealing with. I finally sold my house and moved 5 minutes away because I was so sick of the drama, in 2017. Sadly, moving didn’t help. The haters from that neighborhood literally followed me around online for YEARS. It was a completely insane experience. I ended up moving 2 hours south just to get away from the constant negativity, in 2020, which was THREE YEARS LATER.

I fully believe it. If I do win, I'm only going to volunteer for a year, max.