Random questions

[librarychica]

Jun 25, 2024 10:07:51 GMT -5 waverly said:

Our friends that are now more like acquaintances keep inviting us to their toddler birthday party. It’s the only time we hear from them all year basically. I get it’s easier to invite people to parties than plan something separate. But aren’t birthday parties for family or friends with kids that are the same age? Invite your friends that have toddlers type thing- not people who have teenagers who you rarely talk to?

One of my favorite things about kids getting older is not going to everyone & their 3rd cousins’ birthday party. I would decline, maybe invite them out a few weeks after the party (hey we can’t make the party but would love to xyz) and if they keep declining, put that relationship on simmer.

[k3am]

waverly, toddler parties are for the parents, not the kids. That being said, I think you're totally good to pass.

[waverly]

Jun 25, 2024 11:10:54 GMT -5 k3am said:

waverly, toddler parties are for the parents, not the kids. That being said, I think you're totally good to pass.

We are out of town anyway. I just thought this was a known thing but maybe parents learn it around K if they start having class parties that it transitions to being about the kids I mean.

[librarychica]

Jun 25, 2024 11:17:15 GMT -5 waverly said:

Jun 25, 2024 11:10:54 GMT -5 k3am said:

waverly, toddler parties are for the parents, not the kids. That being said, I think you're totally good to pass.

We are out of town anyway. I just thought this was a known thing but maybe parents learn it around K if they start having class parties that it transitions to bring about the kids I mean.

They might just want to see you. But for me, if they ONLY reach out around party time I’d feel like it was an obligation not a desire and I’d be like “nah, shant.”

We have a couple friends who still do the big group friends/family parties for their kids elementary and Middle Ages, and I’m not really into it, but we love them so we generally go. But it’s not the only time that year we hear from them.

[k3am]

Covid was a lovely dividing line for parties.. we stopped having to invite everyone. I have a couple friends that we got close because of our kids, but our kids have grown away from each other... now I'm trying to convince those friends that we can hang out as moms - with NO KIDS - and have more fun. Mostly unsuccessfully.

[waverly]

Jun 25, 2024 11:33:23 GMT -5 k3am said:

Covid was a lovely dividing line for parties.. we stopped having to invite everyone. I have a couple friends that we got close because of our kids, but our kids have grown away from each other... now I'm trying to convince those friends that we can hang out as moms - with NO KIDS - and have more fun. Mostly unsuccessfully.

Yes as our kids are getting older I’m trying to transition mom plus kid friends to just us. I’ve been successful with a couple of them. This family is starting with small kids so I don’t think they realize that I can leave my kids at home now and that is kind of my goal not necessarily with them but in general making that transition. They only get it with friends that were traditionally just the women friends as opposed to entire family.

I joined a charity org in that vein that I’ve been eyeing for a while which I may live to regret lol. Making progress in a certain direction- I shall see where it takes me.

[sdlaura]

Is the toddler party at their house or a toddler- specific place? I don’t want to go to SkyZone or a gymnastics place to catch up with my friends if I don’t have kids the same age. But if it’s at their house and there is some kind of toddler entertainment and I can sit and have a drink and a burger with the adults, that works for me. I’d leave my older kids at home.

We’re in a situation where we still have a couple of little kids but all our friends we made when our older kids were little can now leave their kids home and just hang out with adults. So we’re often still paying for a babysitter when they don’t need to, but that’s ok. I find it so much easier to relax and talk to my friends without my 4- and 7-year-old boys there.

[supertrooper1]

Beau's DIL still invites everyone she knows to their kids' birthday parties. To me it seems like a gift grab. I'm not sure if that's what she intends or not.

[dglvrk2]

We were the first of most of our good friends to have kids. Hence, while I have a 10 and an almost 13 year old, we still get invited to 3rd and 4th birthday parties.

One couple in our neighborhood has a big party each summer at their home for their son. We literally walk from our backyard into theirs... So it's easy to make an appearance, enjoy time with the neighbors and leave whenever we feel ready.

Like sdlaura, I'm totally up for attending a party like this. However, I'd not venture far for a little kids' party now that I've graduated from that stage of parenting.

ETA; The parents of this little guy specify "no gifts" every year too, which makes the party even more appealing:)

[waverly]

Yup it’s in the backyard but it is a far drive. So I can see the appeal if they were closer.

[dglvrk2]

Jun 25, 2024 18:02:05 GMT -5 waverly said:

Yup it’s in the backyard but it is a far drive. So I can see the appeal if they were closer.

A simple "we can't make it. Would love to catch up sometime soon" would be totally appropriate IMHO