Another Job A vs Job B post.

[gretchenindisguise]

I went to school for a long time to work in my profession. About 4 years ago, I was extremely burnt out and pivoted to private practice. 3.5 years ago, I pivoted again into a completely different field. I did that for almost a solid 3 years, I was good at it, worked fully from home and was extremely flexible, but in a company without growth and there was some writing on the wall that the company wasn't doing well. I was bored. 

I re-pivoted back to my profession. It felt like coming home, I'm good at it. I feel confident in it. It gives me a lot of satisfaction. It is draining and I am less emotionally available to my husband and kids - still there for them in nearly all the ways, but my emotional tank is more depleted for sure.

I'm coming to the realization that for a variety of reasons private practice is not for me, so I'm looking to transition again.

Job A: Within my profession working for federal government again and former co-worker that I love. Would be able to go back to same grade/step that I left in, maybe able to negotiate a step higher. 3 days telehealth and 2 days in office, commute isn't bad and on par with what I'm currently doing 3x a week. Friend has described it as a chaotic environment and she is looking to leave, but she has been looking to leave government work for 5+ years - I generally have a higher threshold for chaos than she does. Hours are standard 8-4:30. No growth within the department/agency, could move maybe to one of the 14s further south once kids are older. Separate sick and PTO. Pension.

Job B: In profession that I pivoted to a 3 years ago. Fully remote. Same starting pay as job A. Much more flexibility and great culture. Hours are east coast 6-2:30, but flexible - this is what I did for 3 years and it worked well for me/family as it left me open in the afternoons. Not sure on growth yet. One bucket of PTO. 401k. No pension.

Other information: H has taken a job where he travels a lot more and it's stressful for me when he travels. It would be easier with Job B, but Job A would be better than what I've been doing the past 7 months.

It seems to boil down to: Passion Job A or Culture Job B.

A unicorn job within my profession that has the flexibility of Job B doesn't exist. 

[notsopicky]

How long more do you plan to work? My answer is different, depending on if you were going to work for another say 5 years and retire (e.g. me, I have 4 years left), vs. go another 20 and retire (e.g. my H). Growth and opportunity to stretch (i.e. work outside the confines of a specific job description) are the most important thing to me, followed by a close-second culture. Sounds like Job A is your desired profession, because you were bored w/ Job B.

Questions I would ask myself: How will you feel in Job A if co-worker does in fact leave and would you want to stay without that person? How long can you persevere in chaos and what does that look like? What would the specific effects be to life at home in Job A w/ the pick up in your H's travel?

I too am at a crossroads, w/ many of the same questions you have. I recently got a new job (returning to a prior field) and I am bored beyond words--questionable growth opportunities, strict stay-in-your-lane vibe, and I am regretting my choice. But as I said above, I only have 4 years left until retirement, so maybe this is the time to check my drive/ambition at the door? Except UGH, that's not who I am.

Sending you good juju as you navigate your next career move. 👍

[jinkies]

I would be reluctant to knowingly sign up for a chaotic work environment, but I admittedly have a low threshold for chaos.

With kids, 6a- 2:30p is a great schedule. Afternoon flexibility for kid activities would be a huge plus for me.

I can see benefits of both jobs. I personally would take the great culture and free afternoons of Job B, but it sounds like both have elements that could make them a good option for you.

[gretchenindisguise]

Jul 24, 2024 10:04:54 GMT -5 notsopicky said:

How long more do you plan to work? My answer is different, depending on if you were going to work for another say 5 years and retire (e.g. me, I have 4 years left), vs. go another 20 and retire (e.g. my H). Growth and opportunity to stretch (i.e. work outside the confines of a specific job description) are the most important thing to me, followed by a close-second culture. Sounds like Job A is your desired profession, because you were bored w/ Job B.

Questions I would ask myself: How will you feel in Job A if co-worker does in fact leave and would you want to stay without that person? How long can you persevere in chaos and what does that look like? What would the specific effects be to life at home in Job A w/ the pick up in your H's travel?

I too am at a crossroads, w/ many of the same questions you have. I recently got a new job (returning to a prior field) and I am bored beyond words--questionable growth opportunities, strict stay-in-your-lane vibe, and I am regretting my choice. But as I said above, I only have 4 years left until retirement, so maybe this is the time to check my drive/ambition at the door? Except UGH, that's not who I am.

Sending you good juju as you navigate your next career move. 👍

I'm only 42 so I've got a long time before retirement. 😩

Either job would be easier to manage Hs travel than what I'm doing currently.

I'm going to ask more about growth at job B.

[deadwing]

It sounds like both are good options. For me, I think I would prefer job B because I like working fully remote and early hours are my preference. In your shoes, I think I would really consider what part(s) of your profession burn you out and leave you less emotionally available for your family and chose the job that will be less draining for you.

[Jalapeñomel]

I think I'm too old for passion, and would take culture at this point in time. LOL

[litskispeciality]

Thank you for the update on the retirement piece as that was going to be one of my questions. You don't have to answer here, just for you to think about, how much longer do you have to work in the Gov to move up on the pension scale so to speak? I'm not saying it right, but when I was a state employee I had to work 10 years and a few days just to start a separate pension (from traditional 401K), then I had to work 30 years and hit a certain age before I was fully vested at the top %. In the state you had to work a full 365 days to move to the next bar, so let's say you worked 10 years and 9 months you didn't change lanes on the chart. Sounds like you'd have enough years left to work :::sob::: but do you plan to then stay in the Gov until 65 or whenever you can retire? If no (don't blame you), do you plan to stay at this new job or another Gov job for long enough to move the needle again?

Ideally even without kids the earlier schedule/free afternoons and WFH would be ideal. You can go to the doctors, help family, just have a life, especially if you're going to be up early with kids anyway, so I'd throw that support over to Job B.

ETA: I agree with Jalapeñomel, that right now in my life (I think we're the same age?) I just need a job that pays more money than the last one, has better/earlier hours, understands I have a busy life even without kids etc. rather than something that I have a true passion for. I'm very lucky that I made a full career change and now use my brain in all new ways I actually enjoy, but I don't have that pang of "what I do matters" as much as I did in Higher Ed. Plus I've been able to balance a little more of my time back to my on-going family stuff rather than find coverage so I can work a lot of nights and weekends.

ETA: OP do snow days or other weather related situations factor in to your family? I know WFH doesn't mean you're not working, but would one of these jobs allow you more flexibility if a kid is sick, home from school for the variety of reasons they have days off etc.? Sounds like that should be factored in too with your husbands schedule (if possible).

[lucybrown]

Job B. But I'm also in a Job A situation and burned out. In my current phase of life, being available (emotionally or otherwise) to my family is huge.

[followyourarrow]

I'd pick B, but work from home, a good culture, and flexibility all matter to me at this point. If I had kids and a husband that traveled, I'd probably be less interested in a career/passion and more about a job that fits our needs.

[emilyinchile]

Oh man, hard choice! I don't think there's a right answer, just a question of what you personally value more and whether you're at a stage of prioritizing family ease or personal fulfillment and what stage you expect to be at over the next few years especially considering how your kids are going to grow and how their needs will change, both emotionally and logistically.

I guess a specific question I'd have for Job A is whether the lack of growth will continue to fill your passion bucket or if in a couple years you're going to start to feel stuck or burned out again. Obviously you've proven that if that's the case you can always switch again, but maybe it's a factor to consider?

[litskispeciality]

Oh and the friend trying to leave the chaos and being completely honest with OP/you about that is a bit of a flag for me. I ASSume friend wants to warn you so you're not like "TF you get me back in to?", but also is it worth leaving a tough situation to go right back in to a different tough situation?

OP have you run the math on time off? I know you said one has separate sick and PTO, where the other is one bucket (I hate that)...is it about the same amount of time off? That *could* sway my vote, but I think option B is still the better choice right now.

[1yeartogo]

Job A food for thought will the November election impact it? Who is in charge of the government can really swing an organization priority etc. and in some areas jobs might even be cut or eliminated if a particular person is elected.

[sproctopus]

This is just my opinion, but chaos always leads to burnout for me. Inevitably I return to the need for balance. Chaos can't be long term.

I also just want to do what I need to do and go home. Passion is for the youth!

[SusanBAnthony]

For job B, when your H is gone how will you handle mornings with the kids from 6 am until they leave for school? Will that be a giant pain?

[candreco]

As someone with an H that travels a lot, I'd pick Job B. I have a job closer to A right now (in the federal government), and it is ROUGH sometimes managing both work and kids/home when DH is away. I am extremely lucky to have a lot of flexibility given my role, but that's due to my current manager, not necessarily overall office culture.

[jobae1234]

Neither option sounds great.

What are your reasons for disliking private practice? A lot of practitioners do a lot better hiring out the parts they aren’t good at. I would figure out if you could hire out marketing, or billing, or hire a VA, or switch specialties, or join a group, before giving it up.

[gretchenindisguise]

Jul 24, 2024 10:51:53 GMT -5 1yeartogo said:

Job A food for thought will the November election impact it? Who is in charge of the government can really swing an organization priority etc. and in some areas jobs might even be cut or eliminated if a particular person is elected.

I had this thought too. I actually went and read Project 2025 specifically for this, and I think it'd be safe because it's direct care to military personnel. But nothing is guaranteed. 

[gretchenindisguise]

Jul 24, 2024 10:42:53 GMT -5 litskispeciality said:

Oh and the friend trying to leave the chaos and being completely honest with OP/you about that is a bit of a flag for me. I ASSume friend wants to warn you so you're not like "TF you get me back in to?", but also is it worth leaving a tough situation to go right back in to a different tough situation?

OP have you run the math on time off? I know you said one has separate sick and PTO, where the other is one bucket (I hate that)...is it about the same amount of time off? That *could* sway my vote, but I think option B is still the better choice right now.

She's 100% trying to make sure I'm going in with eyes wide open and is a big red flag. If she said it was a great working culture, I think I'd be there without hesitation. Where we worked before was incredibly toxic, and she doesn't describe it as toxic, just chaotic - and she has never done well with ambiguity, which is what I think is getting to her at this place.

I don't have full information on time off from Job B, I'm hoping I get that information today.

[mags]

Job B would be my choice.

[gretchenindisguise]

Jul 24, 2024 10:56:20 GMT -5 SusanBAnthony said:

For job B, when your H is gone how will you handle mornings with the kids from 6 am until they leave for school? Will that be a giant pain?

Kids are pretty self sufficient and I would be able to schedule meetings so they're not in that morning rush period.

With Job A, if it's a day in the office, I would need to come in late to work on those mornings. H's travel is fairly flexible, so if I say I'm in office M-T and at home W-Fri, he could schedule his travel W-F most of the time.

[mcsangel2]

I think this is so hard to advise someone else on. I wouldn't even be considering Job A (for reasons including potential government administration instability), but I'm also 52, lost all ambition to climb a ladder about a decade ago, and desperately trying to figure out how to retire early. All I know is the pandemic allowing most of us office workers to work from home has totally opened my eyes to what REAL life balance looks like and I just don't know if I could give any of that up.

[ans1999]

I also work as a counselor so I understand how draining it can be. I took at role that was a bit of a step back (but slightly more pay) in an effort to realign my work/life balance about 5 years ago. It has been great. You didn’t say how old your kids are? Now that mine are 15 and 17- one driver, one almost driver, I’m taking a step back into a more taxing role. The kids still need me but I have more breathing room than I did when they were small. All this to say, I would do Job B knowing that you will be able to come back to A at some point.

[underwaterrhymes]

I would pick job B.

[livinitup]

Which one do you want to take?

Besides the pension, what is the difference in pay? Does that pay difference sway you to the higher paying job? If so, because it will fund something that you want (and would otherwise go without) or fund something important that would be stressful to live without?

I don’t love all-remote work. I like the routine of 2-3 days in office (out of 5) but I have a very easy commute with free parking. And my office time is pretty low keyed and flexible. So, that may be vastly different for you.

How much of a passion is the passion job? Like, in general or does it hit your passion, personally?

[waverly]

DH traveled when we had 2 small children and for that reason at that time, I would have chosen Job B.

I guess I would only take Job A if life has gotten easier and I was OK with chaos. I'm not a great with chaos person, so it still might not be a great fit for me, but some people do OK or thrive in it. That is totally a personality type thing.

[lust2hart]

I would pick Job B.

[midwestmama]

I am also too old (42) for passion and chaos. I would take Job B for the culture, flexibility, and no commute. A pension would be nice, but you only get the most benefit from it if you stay however long you need to stay to get the full payout. I also have non-driving teenagers, and being done with work when they are done with school (at least where my kids are, secondary schools are done at 2:30p) would be great so afternoons could be open to taxi them places and go to sports or other after-school activities.

[wanderlustmom]

I'm also a counselor so I too get how draining our job is. My only hesitation for job B is the WFH. But I'm a weird one who likes to be in person. If you don't mind WFH, that definitely sounds better. Especially if your husband travels. I love those hours. The older I get the earlier I like to start my day. Also, INMO--I was the busiest with kids from their ages of 10-16. OMG! Constant carpooling. I now have a 17 and 19 year old and if I wanted to lean into my career now would be the time. They don't need us for much at all. It's super weird and also great.

[macmars45]

Jul 24, 2024 11:47:10 GMT -5 mcsangel2 said:

I think this is so hard to advise someone else on. I wouldn't even be considering Job A (for reasons including potential government administration instability), but I'm also 52, lost all ambition to climb a ladder about a decade ago, and desperately trying to figure out how to retire early. All I know is the pandemic allowing most of us office workers to work from home has totally opened my eyes to what REAL life balance looks like and I just don't know if I could give any of that up.

This is how my H feels as well. Our entire family LOVES the balance and flexibility he has especially since I went back to work FT too. 

Before covid H was commuting 1+ hours each way and it was soul sucking and stressful for all of us.

[gretchenindisguise]

Kids are 9 and 15. So 15 year old is nearly done with me, but 9 year old is entering time when my eldest needed me most.

I actually like going to the office too, I felt somewhat disconnected/lonely at home all the time. This may be partially culture though. H onboarded during covid and was able to make better relationships with his coworkers remotely than I was with mine. This job also includes some travel and they appear to have at least once a year everyone get together meetings, which my other place didn't. I didn't meet anyone in person for over 2 years at my last place.