Aging Parent/Caregiver Thread - August

[texasharleygirl]

Aug 18, 2024 14:53:46 GMT -5 jackie011 said:

My MIL passed on Friday morning, with my FIL by her side. He had spent the previous two nights there with her “because she would have stayed with me.” This process is so interesting, as she had minimal health issues, other than the Alzheimer’s. We spoke very frankly with the hospice nurses who talked through the various signs they look for and how they know the end is near. It’s really kind of fascinating, if you’re able to take the emotion out.

There is comfort in knowing she is at peace.

My sympathies to you and your family at the loss of you MIL.  May she be at peace.

My husband had to make a hard decision regarding his Mom's care when she finally ended up in the hospital.  She had a DNR and he kept his promise to her.  His younger sister was not happy about that at all.  We had her moved to hospice where I was the one that sat with her the entire time she was there.  The chaplin came in and explained to me all the different signs and what was happening.  It was fascinating and it helped me deal with her loss.   I miss her dearly.

I was telling people that if I ever changed career's, I would want to be a pallative care nurse.  

[jackie011]

Aug 22, 2024 10:50:58 GMT -5 texasharleygirl said:

Aug 18, 2024 14:53:46 GMT -5 jackie011 said:

My MIL passed on Friday morning, with my FIL by her side. He had spent the previous two nights there with her “because she would have stayed with me.” This process is so interesting, as she had minimal health issues, other than the Alzheimer’s. We spoke very frankly with the hospice nurses who talked through the various signs they look for and how they know the end is near. It’s really kind of fascinating, if you’re able to take the emotion out.

There is comfort in knowing she is at peace.

My sympathies to you and your family at the loss of you MIL.  May she be at peace.

My husband had to make a hard decision regarding his Mom's care when she finally ended up in the hospital.  She had a DNR and he kept his promise to her.  His younger sister was not happy about that at all.  We had her moved to hospice where I was the one that sat with her the entire time she was there.  The chaplin came in and explained to me all the different signs and what was happening.  It was fascinating and it helped me deal with her loss.   I miss her dearly.

I was telling people that if I ever changed career's, I would want to be a pallative care nurse.  

Thank you.
I’ve had a few thoughts about a career change during this process and I’m now equally fascinated with the funeral industry after seeing it so close up over the past week.

[midwestmama]

Sending hugs, jackie011.

DH texted MIL two days ago to ask how the driving simulation test went. She responded that it was rescheduled. We don't believe her since she lies so much, but if she failed it, I'm sure DH will find out at some point.

[vasc]

Aunt has been in assisted living for 10 days now.

First week was emotional highs and lows, adjusting to all the personnel coming and going, the schedule of the day, pressing her button to request assistance, and of course worrying about the dog. Each day I came she would tell me how homesick she was and also wishing she could go back home immediately. I tried not to dwell on it and would change the subject.

The new mobile vet visited on Thursday and luckily my husband was able to visit with Aunt during that exam. Vet diagnosed the dog's tumor as an osteosarcoma, prescribed an anti-inflammatory pill, and advised on food and grooming frequency. I haven't owned a pet in decades and am out of touch with how to care for the dog. Hired dog walker service is excellent though and they've been so kind.

On Friday morning Aunt missed a dose of Ativan somehow, which she is pretty much chemically addicted to, so in addition to feeling emotionally bad all morning she was also probably experiencing early symptoms of withdraw. They realized the dose had been missed when she had her PM dose. I was mad that it happened and sent off an email to the head nurse, who looked into it and determined a new staff member had been in charge and "wasn't familiar" with Aunt's needs. FX it doesn't happen again or if Aunt starts to feel bad again she pushes her button and gets clarification on whether she had it or not.

The weekend and Monday were great though. We went over to visit both days and Aunt's spirits were positive and she didn't mention homesickness at all. Maybe we've turned a corner?

Caring Transitions has been at her house this week cleaning out. Hope to put it on the market after Labor Day!