MOOKS - highschool and drinking

[cjcouple]

Aug 18, 2024 21:11:07 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

I recently read that young Millenials and Gen Z are drinking much less compared to their Gen X parents who are apparently the heaviest drinkers. I can see that.

I read about this last year as well. The article was talking about the growing popularity of mocktails among 20 somethings and why restaurants and bars are expanding those options.

[abs]

Here is a study showing how common drinking is still in my state—52% of 7-12th graders have at least tried alcohol. Much higher than the national average.

txsdy.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/TxSDY_Current-Texas-Youth-Substance-Use-Rates-and-Trends.pdf

[shauni27]

I can only speak for myself but in HS I did not start drinking until my junior year really. But I smoked a lottttttttt of pot, lol.

However, my friends' kids who are freshman just got caught drinking during the school year and got suspended from playing in some of their big sports games.

[lizlemon19]

My son does not drink and is not really around it. I know there are kids who do. He used to vape nicotine and it was hard to get him to stop.I do think this is very area dependent and friend group dependent.

I think marijuana is bigger than alcohol with high schoolers- so many different forms now.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Some drinking has occurred. Mostly at sleepovers. Sometimes at parties. She knows how I feel about it (her dad was an alcoholic among other things) and she also know that if she or anyone she's with is impaired enough, I will gladly pick them up and take ALL of them home. 

When I was 15yo, I was making wine coolers at home w box wine and 7-up with my mom's full knowledge. She reserved the right to cut us off but they (my parents) allowed us to have ONE small glass of wine w holiday dinners starting at 13. 

[circa1978]

On the topic of GenX and drinking, my cousin once nearly brought some liquor bottles to school (probably for a party after, I don't remember why exactly) when we were around 16. She would have gotten away with it, but my aunt looked up from breakfast and was like, why is your backpack....clinking? It has been 30 years, and one of the things we say to each other for an instant crack up.

ETA: Our parents did let us drink wine with dinners and things starting around 14. That had no affect on either of my cousins or me binge drinking in high school and college. But it was before the internet. Other than drinking in our suburb, there wasn't a lot to do.

[cville]

It's highly friend group dependent here. There's a group that does whatever prescription pills they can find, tons of kids of vaping weed, some light drinkers who act like they think they're sophisticated, some heavy drinkers, many non drinkers/vapers.

There are parents who want to be the cool parents and allow it, but they're few and far between. For the most part, it's the kids whose parents are distracted or naive who have the biggest users.

[fluffycookie]

DS (rising sophomore) has been exposed, but has no interest in drinking right now. The kids post all of the stuff on snap every weekend and there have been several parties that have gotten out of control (fights, stealing items, etc.) He also knows that if is caught its an automatic removal from his high school sports team and he saw that happen last year with a teammate.

[jillybean222]

I have HS girls who are 17 and almost 16 but neither drink. The older one has been to parties but she thinks people act dumb when they're drunk (true!). They are both serious athletes so I imagine that has something to do with it.

[jinkies]

My son is 16 but has struggled with friendships since middle school, so hard to say what's "normal". I was excited that he finally found a friend group in 9th grade, but unfortunately that group devolved pretty quickly into both vaping weed and drinking. DS tried both once, didn't like either experience, and ultimately distanced himself (not without a lot of angst).

He then started hanging out with a group of kids who were very into choir/band. I thought it would be a better crowd, but turns out that they just hid their drinking and drug use better. He was dating a girl in that friend group for a while, and broke up with her at least in part because of the drinking/vaping. He doesn't hang out with anyone in that group any more.

I'm not sure what any of those parents thought, or if they were specifically allowing anything. DS only ever told me about two kids who were ever punished for it.

One of my closest friends has a daughter at the same school, one year older than DS. When I would tell her what was going on with DS, she swore that DS just wasn't finding the right friends, and her daughter would never because she is kept so busy with sports. The end of last year one of her daughter's friends slipped, and she learned that what she had thought were small sleepovers with a friend or two were actually regular parties with drinking. She doesn't buy her kid alcohol or anything, but she doesn't seem to have an issue with letting her daughter go to the parties now that she knows. She just tells her to sleep over or call for a pick up.

I know all the more popular kids drink and it sounds like the parents just kind of wink at it. The parents are also big drinkers, so it seems like it's somewhat normalized.

I am dreading my daughter entering middle school because I know how prevalent it is, and she is much more driven to fit in than DS, and already feels defeated about school/ doesn't care about grades. I'm really worried that she could go down a bad road.

[eddy]

I have a rising junior. We do not support drinking and are not the parents that are okay with it.

My son did get caught with a beer this summer. Him and some buddies were at the lake, a group of girls brought beer and he was caught. We were extremely disappointed in him. He has too many things going for him to be messing around like that. He claims it was his first time. I of course have no way of knowing if it is true but I lean towards believing him. Mostly because you have to be completely naive to think drinking a beer in public at the lake, on a weekend is not a place you aren't going to get caught lol. Not sneaky in the least!

He and the teammates were suspended from one meet of competition this fall because they self disclosed what happened. 

Anyways I do think it is friend group specific. I don't think it is prevalent with his friend groups. But obviously it is a thing teens are doing or he wouldn't have gotten caught with alcohol. 

So I guess my answer is I assume it is something some kids are doing. I am not supportive of my child drinking in high school.

[intheden]

Senior and Sophmore mom here...it is absolutely mind boggling to me how many parents in this area know and allow their kid to drink...good friends of ours..who are both doctors are ok with it.

Obviously my kids are not allowed to drink, but I know they start early. Last year (as freshmen) one of my DD's classmates was expelled for bringing vodka to school. 

[cville]

I'm not going to be a cool mom. I've never been cool. Not going to bother trying now.

We do, though, try to model healthy/reasonable behavior about alcohol. And we have always been honest with the kids about our own past selves.

[tommygirl03]

I’m not cool either.
I have a junior & freshman. My junior tried to go to her friend’s last night with no parents home. We squashed it, and she’s pissed.
I know drinking will occur, but we aren’t going to knowingly allow it to happen.

[calamity]

PDQ PDQ

My son is going to be a sophomore this year. He's been hanging out with some kids that I don't really like but I at this age it's so hard to control who they hang out with.

One of my son's older friends (that he really looked up to) just committed suicide last week. He had also been hanging out with some not great kids and was drinking and smoking a LOT of weed and making horrible decisions.

The whole thing has been a huge wake up call to my son. He's been talking and sharing more with us. Debating the people he's hanging out with. It's hopefully one tiny silver lining out of a otherwise horrible tragedy. He says he wants to stay sober and take care of his friends.

[eddy]

I am so sorry calamity. Raising teens is not for the faint of heart.

I feel like every year I am just like, what the fuck am I even doing lol. They just keep adding complexity as they grow up. I get one hard thing figured out and then they add a new big life event/decision/mistake to keep you on your toes.

I actually understand why parents throw their hands up and are like, whatever. It is really really hard to feel as if you have any control over their lives. It would be so much easier to just give in.

My son has really amazing potential that I or my husband did not have. Amazing grades, really focused and excelling on sports etc. My motivation is to not let him go too off the rails so he doesn't screw his future up. All of it is really tough. 

[calamity]

eddy, I agree completely. Add into it that you can't raise different kids the same either. My son takes everything to heart while my daughter needs cold hard consequences. She's only 13, Lord help me.

[somersault72]

My junior has not had alcohol to my knowledge. I know it's been at parties, but not necessarily parties he's been at. He hung out with a lot of seniors last year as a sophomore so it wouldn't surprise me if he was exposed to it. He did try vaping once, which I wasn't thrilled but if that's the worst thing he ever does I'll call it a win. He said a ton of kids smoke weed. At no point in my life would I have any idea how to go about getting weed. LOL (well I would now because it's legal in my state as of 2 weeks ago--but before that--no idea).

The weed thing surprises me because many of them are athletes and they do random drug testing each quarter.

[waverly]

ECB, are we going to hear the situation that had you wondering if you were crazy? Just curious. Was it parents giving the kids alcohol?

[ECB]

Aug 20, 2024 15:50:28 GMT -5 waverly said:

ECB , are we going to hear the situation that had you wondering if you were crazy? Just curious. Was it parents giving the kids alcohol?

Most of what you all have been saying is what I've witnessed/ see going on. 

I think what makes me think I'm crazy are the parents that I know are letting kids bring alcohol to their home and drink, and turn a blind eye to it.  And the reactions of some parents to knowing their kids are drinking at parties.  

Again - I know kids are going to try alcohol.  That's not the issue.  It's the parents being very "ha ha ha - my kid's friend threw up out the window of my car!".   

There was a party last fall where the parents were there, and one boy (the son of a friend) got REALLY intoxicated and his friends didn't know what to do, so someone anonymously called my friend and told her her son was unconscious.  When she got there - another parent was actually holding her son up and rubbing his chest because at one point he had stopped breathing.  She said to call an ambulance and the host parents were like "You want to call an ambulance?" and she said "YES!!!!!  My son isn't breathing!!!!!"  

I've just really been surprised by some of the attitudes of parents more than anything. 

[jlt19]

I’m 90% sure my new Freshman experimented over the summer in my basement with her 16yo bff/cousin. I brought it up, she denied it, so what really can I do at this point? I poured out the bottle of vodka and will pour out the beer soon. It’s like 2 years old so they deserve what they get with it. Only half joking.

I am going to now lock up my stuff in my wine fridge, which is easy enough. For now, I know she’s really anti-drugs/smoking, so that’s good. I know kids in her grade do it all, and there’s been a death and a few overdoses of fentanyl in our neighborhood in the past couple of years.

I have no plans on providing anything to her at any time, but I’m not naive. Based on the fact that 90% of her school lives in our neighborhood, drinking and driving isn’t nearly as scary to me as vaping something that you think is weed and is not.

[Jalapeñomel]

As a HS teacher, I overhear that the students in my school drink a lot on the weekends and smoke a lot of weed.

And as mentioned above a lot of under the “supervision” of parents.

[imimahoney]

Aug 21, 2024 17:50:55 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

As a HS teacher, I overhear that the students in my school drink a lot on the weekends and smoke a lot of weed.

And as mentioned above a lot of under the “supervision” of parents.

Yep, same.

Also, the amount of kids who vape nicotine all day long or spend their entire day high is scary. Teenage vaping is an epidemic.

[waverly]

ECB, whoa that is crazy. The kid isn't breathing and the parents hosting the party are chill about it. I think there are some parents that are either partiers themselves or want their kid to be cool so badly.

Growing up, I barely went to parties and the parents never served alcohol, but it was all goody 2 shoes. I didn't hang out with the popular crowd or the partiers. The only party I went to where they served alcohol to minors was a high school graduation party, and I feel like they definitely still had problems there due to that. So it is still shocking to me, but I know it happens especially in certain groups.