40th gift for a friend

[countthestars]

One of my good childhood friends is turning 40 and her sister organized a countdown to 40 where 40 people each take a day leading up to her birthday. The idea is to give her a gift, a card, a visit - whatever you want. I have a Tuesday in a couple of weeks. Friend and I are no longer very close, but i care about her. We always say hi and visit when we run into each other. We live in the same town (the one we grew up in).

I’m stressing out about what to get her. She has always been sentimental, which I am not particularly. I could do flowers, a gift card for dinner, a cool piece of jewelry from Etsy? I have no ideas. I’d love for it to be something I can either leave on her porch while she’s away at work, or something I can drop quickly because we have sports and they have sports and I don’t know her schedule. Any ideas? I don’t mind putting some effort into it, or is be happy to just buy something thoughtful but not too personalized. I’d like to spend $40-$75?

[mrspez07]

It’s been nearly 9 years, but I enjoyed these:
40 oz of chocolate bars tied with a ribbon (hard to leave on the porch)
Heartfelt cards
A unique bracelet from a friend with a shared hobby
Flowers

I’d also love a simple necklace or handcrafted earrings. Though some people (like my SIL) wear a sentimental necklace and no others.

[noodleoo]

I like to do funny gifts for milestone bdays. Most of us are at the age where we pretty much buy what we want, so I go for the laugh. I bought this for a friend’s bday last month.

40th Birthday Mug - I'm 18 With 22 Years Experience
a.co/d/cPROqS7

[minzy]

I don’t know but I am going to a 50th bday party tomorrow and just let myself go a little nuts in Trader Joe’s the other day - she’s getting a hodgepodge of fun snacks, a few skincare things, a bottle of wine, etc.

[hazelden]

I got this DIOR Vernis Crème Abricot cuticle cream www.nordstrom.com/s/7556139 and this Londontown Illuminating Nail Concealer www.nordstrom.com/s/7337785 for the last few birthdays for friends. I liked that it was something that could be used up and kind of a splurge that you wouldn't necessarily buy yourself. And it wasn't another candle. It seemed to be well received.

[expectantsteelerfan]

Do you have pictures of her/you/milestones from when you were little? I got a mug with pictures on it from a relative for my 40th from Shutterfly and it was sweet.
My brother also got me a coffee cup that says 'The one where I turn 40' because he knows I love Friends, and I use that a lot.
Sorry both my suggestions are cups, but I thought both showed someone put thought into a gift more than just generic. If you have photos, you could totally make anything with them. I don't really use the one with my childhood pictures on it, but it makes me smile when I see it in the cabinet.

[konapoppy]

I would simply go with a card of a sweet memory from you youth.

[dontlook]

All of my friends are getting cute 40 themed tshirts from Etsy.

[lust2hart]

I got a mug like this when I turned 40, which I thought was really sweet:

www.amazon.com/Vivulla68-Birthday-Gifts-Women-Ideas/dp/B09SWCH3PM/ref=sr_1_16?crid=33HVIWGQ9MLIV&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.wwRngXhuhb-I-s_RfXFJTBcMctNVCKmGlcY3z0LRx_mtjvX_m5RkVvgmodhD6dw2CyGoiaK0qA0tX1Q7WoVN3xYb78EW0eFLLjbOnef5OVmtifzIxgalOEuFKQzoeLZ3KMOi7pNyQeyvqk_WaxlUQ4z6SkzPD22O5AYOCUKyeePQyj8cOc7uqJq6M9juhqDUvjmJQMtougklHAR1B9MTKzUYD39uSa-NcYjq2EZd_3pw73kqA2ceF35tiX8T-XIyFKcLCA2rImgL6kwlRiJJWL7qzUVv4urBiqbyrCzlu2M.CFoA7YP98Tf5nxZwaZ-5PF1DKkdlhpgsiJz8wwqY1pE&dib_tag=se&keywords=making%2Bthe%2Bworld%2Ba%2Bbetter%2Bplace%2Bsince%2B1984&qid=1727726531&sprefix=makign%2Bthe%2Bworld%2Ba%2B%2Caps%2C96&sr=8-16&th=1

[nicolewi]

Okay, I just feel like this is super over the top??? But you know your group! I think your ideas are fine. But if all these people are spending like $60 bucks on this it's kind of crazy!!!! Could have all gone in on a big gift or donated to a cause or something.

[lust2hart]

Sept 30, 2024 15:06:39 GMT -5 nicolewi said:

Okay, I just feel like this is super over the top??? But you know your group! I think your ideas are fine. But if all these people are spending like $60 bucks on this it's kind of crazy!!!! Could have all gone in on a big gift or donated to a cause or something.

Well, to be fair, it's being organized by her sister, so not really a "friend group" thing - at least, that's how I read the OP.

[countthestars]

I also feel like it's over the top!! It's not really my style, but also didn't feel like I could just opt out (blah blah, I know you can but I didn't).

[donutsmakemegonuts]

Man, I was thinking I can't even think of 40 people that I am close enough with that would participate in something like this for me lol. I don't have a big family or friend group apparently.

Anyway, I got a shirt on Etsy for my 40th that said "Vintage 1980" but obviously you could put her birth year.

[livinitup]

Milestone birthdays are great for gear that says :

“Established 1984”

You can get t-shirts and stuff like that. It’s personal without being very personal. And fun.

[circa1978]

Is there a place you guys used to hang out that is local or you have an emotional connection to? A small souvenir or gift card there would be fun.

[Tacocat]

I turned 40 2 years ago and these were some of my favorite gifts:

-Cookies from a close friend that had pictures she picked out screen printed on them.

- A wine glass that says “Is you 40? Bitch, I might be” with a nice bottle of wine.

-A t shirt that said something about being born awesome in 1982.

- A drink tumbler that said “damn! I look hot for 40!”

So I think funny gifts about turning 40 are a good bet. Etsy has lots of options that are customizable.

[beerlover]

I don't know if I have 40 people in my life that would do this for me, lol.

[jaycee]

I’d call her and play happy birthday to her on the piano. I don’t know. I’d be really overwhelmed with a $50ish gift every day for 40 days. It’s so much stuff.

[luckystar2]

Sept 30, 2024 15:29:05 GMT -5 countthestars said:

I also feel like it's over the top!! It's not really my style, but also didn't feel like I could just opt out (blah blah, I know you can but I didn't).

Yeah but you said the idea was also you could do a card or visit. That’s what I would do. 40 gifts even at a nominal amount is too much! But omg 40 gifts at the price point you were suggesting is CRAZY! That is way too much! If you can’t visit I would do a card and/or phone call. If you have any old pics you could print out in card that would be a nice addition. I’d only do a gift if this was somebody you already normally do gifts and were planning on getting her one anyways.

[TR]

I would do a card with a memory of the two of you written inside.

When H turned 50, I gave him 50 gifts and I asked friends to send cards to help me hit that number.

[jinkies]

I agree with a card and maybe something consumable (like chocolates).

But I also love this shirt and it would work for a 40th birthday: lucyjaynes.com/products/please-be-patient-with-me-im-from-the-1900s-tee

[wildrice]

If you don't mind spending money, how about a $40 gift card to a restaurant or coffee shop she likes? I would be annoyed to get 40 things I had to then find a place to keep, or to be eaten immediately, but a gift card can be used anytime and doesn't take up space.

Bonus if it's to a place you used to go together!

[mofongo]

Oh my! I wouldn't want any part of this as the recipient or giver! #helpful

[ellipses84]

I’d love a nice bottle of wine, tequila, or a gift card to a coffee shop. My sis and I love a coffee/ tea shop that’s far away from my house (and really far from her) so a gift card or tea for me or a bag of coffee for her is always a nice treat because it also means one of us went out of our way for it. It you want to do something cuter or number themed, you could make a little charcuterie board with mini alcohol bottles of her favorites or do a little bouquet of 40 of something (candy, or something, it doesn’t have to be flowers). For my BFFs there’d be something inside joke themed, like we’ve passed each other gnome gifts back and forth since college. Most recently a bottle of wine with picture of a gnome on it.

Stuff that needs a plate or consumables that go bad and need to be eaten right away are tough. I’m not opposed to something like a sparkly sash, tiara, 40 wine glass or banner she can use for a photo op on her big day if those things haven’t been purchased by her sis yet.

[litskispeciality]

Oct 1, 2024 11:49:00 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Oh my! I wouldn't want any part of this as the recipient or giver! #helpful

Yeah, in the long run I think the recipient is going to get a bunch of mugs/tumblers, tee-shirts etc. all related to the year of birth or turning 40. Seems pretty wasteful even if the intentions are good.

From a practical side I like $40 if you can afford it for coffee, food etc. Is there something you both liked growing up that might spark a memory for friend?

If you really want to do something more of a gift you could do the tee-shirts mentioned above either "made in (the year) (the 80's)" or something you both liked growing up. My brother got me a Rainbow Brite The Era's tour shirt (not related to being 40) from Etsy for my 40th this year and it was the coolest gift. There's lots of people who make things from movies and shows if you dig around enough. I just worry your friend will have 40 tee-shirts they'll never wear...

Finally, maaaaybe a gift you know your friend always wanted but never got, but 

1. this can be very expensive
2. how do you confirm they didn't get it since you lost touch?

I had half joked that would be a good work yankee-swap gift idea "the present you never got", but it never got traction.

[dancingirl21]

I would not want stuff. It would feel so overwhelming. Either a nice card with maybe some local chocolates, a gift card for a manicure, a gift card for a local coffee shop would all be appreciated. But I do think a nice card is completely appropriate in this situation too.

[CloudBee]

This is really strange. I LOVE receiving gifts, and this would overwhelm me as a recipient. I agree that she's likely going to end up with a bunch of trinkets.

The card idea with a thoughtful note/memory, is what I would probably do. Possibly a balloon tied to it.

[eb777888]

I'd get her a consumable with a nice card/note attached.

[VacayVaca]

What about digging through your old photos and finding some pics of y'all in high school and printing them for her in a birthday card? It's nostalgic, thoughtful, and would be fun to look at but wouldn't fall into the "stuff" category everyone's lamenting in this thread.


The other idea I had was custom cookies with her favorite hobby and 40 incorporated. This place is in Texas, but they ship and do amazing custom work:

hayleycakesandcookies.com/shop-cookies/

[litskispeciality]

Thinking about this more I think a card and/or some kind of outreach should be more than enough. A lot of my friends turned 40 throughout COVID lockdown and limited openings so we started sending cards and it was a huge hit.

I've ordered two Cameo recently both as pep talks for folks going through medical stuff. You could order a video from a celebrity if there's someone you remember your friend liking when you were younger, although the prices can be quite wild so you might be limited in that price range (or lower). For example I love Dawson's Creek, but $300+ for James Van Der Beek to wish me a happy 40th would be a waste of money.