Adulting - what have you done lately?

[kadams767]

Does telling my husband to start comparison shopping our insurance around count? Ugh. We got our renewals this month and the increases across all policies over the past several years are really starting to add up, especially since we've not made a single claim. Hoping he can find some discounts or reductions somewhere.

I also finally downgraded one of my older credit cards that had an annual fee. It was worth it when I opened it, but it hasn't been my primary card for awhile now and paying the fee is silly.

[midwestmama]

Inspired by others who have done health-related things, I finally set up a new patient appointment with a primary care physician. I also transferred my kids to the same physician, so that we are all under the same physician (for now) at the same office. Once a female PCP who is accepting new patients becomes available, I'll switch myself and DD to the female provider. I will keep DS with the new physician since this physician says on his profile that sports medicine is an interest of his, which is a good fit for DS as an athlete.

[livinitup]

I paid our 2023 local school tax on Tuesday. Found the check book (this might be one of the only checks we write by hand), drove to the clerk’s office, got it stamped as paid. I even moved money from savings to checking to cover the payment.

DH and I went out on a Friday night dinner date for the third time. It’s a newish local Italian place and we might make an effort to be regulars. Like grown ups.

[mainelyfoolish]

Scheduled an appointment with the attorney that is doing our updated wills and a trust. Our estate planning needs are not complicated, but we’ve been going back and forth over drafts with slow responses via email (both the attorney and myself bear some responsibility) since May. We’re finally finishing it this month.

[aprilsails]

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The past 3 weeks have been a blur but my DH and I separated (I left due to a substance abuse related crisis, which occurred after 2 years of a slow moving mental health crisis on his part). Children's Aid is involved and I have full primary custody. He wouldn't leave the home or seek treatment so I have lived with my Dad and Stepmom and spent over an hour and a half commuting each day. As of yesterday I have moved into a rental townhouse three minutes from the kid's school.

I have done everything. All the coordination. All the work. We are unpacked and set up and our new life will hopefully be better. I just really need him to get his head on straight so he can help co-parent his children. He finally seemed sober this past week. He complains endlessly about being bored. ***internal screaming***

[trissie18]

Oct 7, 2024 10:01:38 GMT -5 aprilsails said:

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Liking for the positive pieces. I am sorry you are going through a tough journey and hope you and your children find happiness on the other side.

[minzy]

I’m so sorry aprilsails but good for you and your kids. Hang in there.

[awkwardpenguin]

Oh aprilsails I am so sorry things went down that way but you are so strong and doing what is best for your family. I hope things become easier over time.

[minzy]

Well today I am exercising the general POA I have for my dad and acting in what I think are his/his estates’ best interests in trying to retitle his property to avoid future probate in two states. I am acting generally consistent with his earlier wishes about it and I am being transparent to his wife and my sister, so that is good. Then, if my dad is still really sick and out of it later this week (like he was this past weekend), I may need to veto his getting chemo using my power as his healthcare POA (that is a separate thing). With his healthcare POA, there is space between a court calling him incompetent and my thinking that I need to take over, and we may be threading that needle. Sigh. Boo adulting.

[awkwardpenguin]

DD is undergoing intensive mental health treatment so I have done SO. MUCH. PAPERWORK. Unfortuntaely/fortunately we have already met our OOP Max so the insurance is the easy part. But there's a ream of paperwork each time we see a new treatment provider. I made a document on my phone to make filling out all the releases of information easier since they need phone numbers, addresses, and fax numbers every time. And her psychiatrist left the practice right before all this happened so I have to decide what we're going to do for follow up care.

This has added an oddly timed dropoff and pickup to my schedule so I had to reschedule some doctors appointments for me and for her and scheduled an extra session with my own therapist.

I bought the NOLO book "Get It Together" about organizing your records for when folks must settle your estate. I ordered extra keys to our safe (one got bent?!?) and have to locate the physical copy of our will. I put it "somewhere safe" and then forgot where that is so that should be fun.

[bbdoll]

awkwardpenguin I have been in that exact spot and I know how it overtakes your life. You have no choice but to "adult." It sounds like you're doing great!

[jwright]

We had a family estate planning meeting back on 9/6 and I haven't heard anything from our attorney on the action items we left the meeting with. So I sent a follow up email today. This is a recurring theme in my work and now personal life, I feel like I have to nag or in some cases be an absolute B-I-T-C-H to get people to do their jobs.

We paid third quarter tax estimates. Yay?

[moreace01]

We contested our property taxes. Which we made out to be a bigger deal than it was. Fingers crossed it works cause ours went up a lot the last 2 years.

I ordered cabinet doors for a spot in our kitchen cabinets that has none. Previous owners had a tv in the spot. I don't want a tv in the kitchen and we've been using the spot for snacks. It looks ugly as heck. The cabinets were discontinued Ikea so getting something that works but won't match has been kind of tricky.

Now if I could just go order some solid core interior doors to keep the sound down (my partner plays guitar. A lot), I'd be golden.

[dr.girlfriend]

When I first saw this post I thought I hadn't done much because I feel like I'm just barely keeping up with things, but now I realize I have!

1. Went to a "Paying for College" seminar sponsored by DS's school. DK how helpful it was but I don't want to be surprised. As much as I think I'm prepared there's still a lot of unknowns.
2. Got COVID/flu vaccines
3. Met with an estate attorney to redo some of my mom's paperwork. Once we sign in person her $ will now, upon her death, go into individual trusts in my and my sister's names instead of directly to us as beneficiaries. I hadn't realized there were significant benefits to this in terms of asset protection -- worth looking into if you think you might inherit a significant amount
4. Did some unpleasant medical follow-up. One cancer scare is now looking less likely, but it got replaced with a *different* and potentially worse cancer scare. Ugh.
5. Around the first alert for the cancer scare (6 months ago) I also got one of those "Everything You Need to Know if I Croak" kind of journals and filled it out for DH. I really handle a lot of the day-to-day and financial stuff so it was a wakeup call.

[Wallflower]

dr.girlfriend, I got something like that a few weeks ago (NOKbox, if anyone is interested). They send you an email each week to nudge you, moving through the categories in the box. First, an email about all house-related info, then cars, etc., so you can spend a hour or so a week and over time, get it done. What's cool is that they give you some good tips/reminders. This week, it's banks and that you should include a copy of your bank statement and highlight autopayments.

My adulting today ... I had my furnace guy out to do a pre-winter tune-up. In the process, he found a leaking valve on the water heater and fixed it. And I had my handyman out to seal up at least some of the mouse access points to my garage and basement. The mousetrap that went missing a couple of weeks ago, only to be found with *just* a mouse leg, was very motivating.

[heygrey]

Wallflower, thank you for that recommendation! My mom had mentioned wanting something to write down all the small bits of information that I will need when they pass. My parents are very proactive about their end of life stuff, but we realized recently that I have no idea who they use for basic services like propane and heating oil refills, their phone and internet plans, what credit cards they use regularly, etc. They do have a book with online accounts and passwords and are diligent about keeping it updated because they can never remember for themselves.

[Wallflower]

heygrey, I really am impressed with the level of detail they guide you to record. In fact, the house section has just those kinds of prompts (repair people)! The vehicle section had reminders about things like an ezpass, AAA, and satellite radio. And they even sell the kit with a fire-resistant file box.

When my Dad was facing a very risky surgery, he pulled all his information together for my stepmom. And folks, only his father the army Colonel was a more organized person than my Dad! Well, unfortunately, Dad passed away and Stepmom *still* found things he'd overlooked. It's too hard to think of all of these things on your own.

Because we all need a chuckle, my very organized grandfather even kept a list of all the dates when he proposed to my grandmother (six, if I remember correctly).

[heygrey]

Wallflower, my dad has been writing down every upgrade/repair they have done to the house in recent years so that I'll have all that information when I sell it. They redid the roof last year - "50 year shingles, so they'll outlive me and be good when you sell!" - thanks dad. He has lists of who I could contact to buy certain items like his John Deere tractor if I don't want to hassle with a private sale. I really appreciate all the effort they are putting in now because it will make my life easier, but it also makes me chuckle every time they start a conversation about dying.

[Beeps (WOT?*)]

I don't know if this could be considered adulting but my husband's December trial settled so we're taking a week to go to Hawaii. It's in place of the two-week Europe trip we were supposed to take in August (so that's money savings, right?) but two trials were scheduled in August before we could get the trip on the books. We haven't had a real vacation in several years. Not one that didn't involve kids or business that lasted more than an overnight.
So to adult, we're taking a breather from real life to recalibrate and retain our mental health.

WRT actual adulting, we've reached our OOP for the year so I'm scheduling ALL our medical treatments. Unfortunately, my insurance and HCP are in contract negotiations so I may have to reschedule some with new providers which irks me to no end.

Calling to check insurance rates. This is kind of hard because we've had coverage with the same company literally longer than my husband or I have been alive. The policy for our primary car dates back to 1961. But we bought a car to replace the Camry (that we now have the Grand driving - ouch!) and they've literally *doubled* the rates on that one car in eighteen months for reasons we can't determine. There's NO reason we should be paying $1100+ every six months on 2019 Infiniti sedan with 100/300 coverage and $1K deductible. It's bonkers.

My mom had no estate plan so while I was visiting her for my birthday I took her to an attorney and set up a trust for her. Well worth the money we paid for the peace of mind.

Taking care of having household stuff serviced, plus estimates for new siding since we're having some issues with it, and finally breaking down and getting the landscaping taken care of and downstairs remodel/reno started (not counting the kitchen cabinet refacing and new countertops we've had done over the past couple years.

This is really adulting "lite" because it's merely a game, but I had an inheritance I spent down years ago. I forgot the account even existed, but I saw a branch of the CU in a store so went in to check if there was a balance. There was about %750 in the account. I decided that I wanted to rebuild it to the balance my grandmother had given me (about $21k or so iirc) that I had spent on a couple fancy things for me and for keeping the kids/grands housed and clothed when they were younger and struggling. First goal was to get CDs of $1K each maturing in twelve consecutive months. I'm doing it at that CU only because that's where I put the money back in the day; interest rates and other things have nothing else to do with it beyond "what's the best rate you've got on a CD right now?" This money is all about the "Game" goal. I made a goal of putting at least $100 every two weeks into this account along with any other "found" money. When it reaches $1100 I take $1K and purchase a CD at the best promo rate; because the promos change it's not always the same time period so it makes it a little more challenging to get an "in a row" each time. But in less than three years I've saved and scavenged $13K for that account. I received an e-mail with a promo rate of 5% that expired on October 11 and used that to complete my first goal. I now have twelve CDs that will mature between December 2024 and November 2025. (Plus another because I accidentally bought a second August when I actually needed a September. Oops.) Now I must decide if I want two CDs per month, to double up or extend it to 24 months in a row. I'm thinking 24 would be harder than 12x2 or simply adding money as they mature each momth. It's been fun though and I'm looking forward to adding to the challenge.