Help me think through this - loaning $$ to a sibling

[minzy]

I see you’ve moved on from this but I’m curious if they are in bankruptcy proceedings. Chapter 7 is barebones, Chapter 13 is more for if they have a house. Bankruptcy and divorce of course often go hand in hand. If BIL is still shelling out $$$ for college, I’m guessing he’s not in bankruptcy, but if she/they are, her budget may need to be approved by the bankruptcy court. It’s been a long time since I clerked at a bankruptcy firm but I feel like the budget is built out for like three or five years…? I might be hesitant to interfere financially with a judge approved plan.

I would also not necessarily count on her receiving the inheritance. Your dad could write her off at the last minute (maybe unlikely but stranger things have happened). I have seen my dad get a little loopy at the end here and concoct petty grudges which seem ridiculous to me - and it seems like your dad has some actual material to work with in regard to your sister. On the other hand, if your sister doesn’t inherit from your dad, maybe it would be to your added benefit, so you’d be in an even better place to lose $30k. Ugh, I’m sorry she put you in this position.

[scm1011]

Lol, wise_rita, honestly there is a lot more to this tale but this is not a safe place. But yes, she's in a quite the pickle. I honestly do not know what she is going to do.

[jobae1234]

Oct 8, 2024 8:05:52 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Lol, wise_rita, honestly there is a lot more to this tale but this is not a safe place. But yes, she's in a quite the pickle. I honestly do not know what she is going to do.

If she needed a co-signer on a car 10 years ago AND wasn’t able to make payments, she’s been in a bad spot long enough to be totally guilty/complicit when it comes to her current situation.

[mich1]

Oct 4, 2024 14:14:51 GMT -5 mccallister84 said:

Personally, I would not lend money to siblings. I would gift it or not do it at all. I just feel like this kind of thing always ends badly.

This.

[Roc A Bee]

There are many, many red flags besides the debt.
1. She would like to live in Boston, but can’t afford it? Then she needs to find a cheaper place to live. I’d like to live at the beach but here I am in my modest home that I can afford.

2. They are in $$$$ debt but continue to pay $$$ for a college education for 2 kids? I think a come to Jesus talk with their adult children is needed.

3. She isn’t working full-time now.

4. Is she selling jewelry or purses or other $$ items?

I wouldn’t lend this money.

[hazelden]

There should be other solutions, like bankruptcy for non tax related issues, or innocent spouse relief for your sister if this is all related to taxes. www.irs.gov/individuals/innocent-spouse-relief