Did you regret moving for a job?

[sent]

I had to move for residency and had no choice in the location because it was done by match. I knew I had to go to further my career, there was no turning it down. I matched to a city in a southern red state. The people in my orbit at the time in the NYC metro area were either horrified that I was willingly going there or very curious of what my experience would be like. The curious friends came to visit because they'd never been there. I ended up enjoying my time there a lot. I learned a lot about our country and myself - like the time I went to a Walmart and was walking around and found myself in the gun aisle staring at a large gun display on the wall. I had no idea one could just mosey into Walmart and buy a gun. I look back on those times and I miss it now.

In my early days in practice in NYC, I used to treat these kids who had moved from the Bay Area for their dad's university job. The parents loved California but the mom said they were also loving living in Manhattan and that their kids were riding the subways to go to school and just getting a more urban experience in general. So if you have kids, it might be an interesting adventure for them also.

I do still dream about moving around sometimes but these days I know I can't until the kids are done with high school. At one point I wanted to experience living in San Francisco. I had a chance to attend a 1 year training program out there but chose to move to NYC instead. Moving cross country for just 1 year felt like too much at the time.

[bee20]

Yes, and it helped me realize I wanted to stay in one place as an adult. I do still idly think of packing up and moving somewhere new but it's more of a fantasy than a thing I would actually do. Even though I didn't love the location, I'm glad I gave it a try when it was a good time in my life to try it out.

[fryjack2]

I moved here (east coast major city)after college for a job. I always thought I’d be in Europe long term. Then I met H and became the trailing spouse.

We have almost moved from our large east coast city to nyc twice (h’s parents live there which is a negative. Lol) for an opportunity for H.

H just told me he wants to talk to me about a move because he’s being recruited to come out your way.

Reasons why I am most likely not going to be on board are:

-our kids are in middle school (I know this doesn’t apply to you)
-I am in a leadership role with a clear ladder and being mentored to climb it.
-it would be a move closer to a sibling. While I love them and their spouse and child, we have a better relationship when we only see each other a couple times a year.
-I would expect H’s package to account for my high income and a significant raise to what his is now.
-I am a social person, but also an introvert at times. I don’t want to start over with making friends. I have shrunk my current circle intentionally.
-it too far from Europe. I can be in Europe or the west coast in under 7 hours. I like to travel, with Europe being frequent destination.


Basically, our quality of life has to be better and stress level has to be less than it is now for me to consider a move to anywhere.

[atarianna]

We’ve moved 10 times. It’s certainly not for the faint of heart but it was something I/we knew would be in our future. We’ve been very fortunate in that each move has granted new possibilities and we’ve almost always done well on buying/selling our homes for a profit.

Making connections is definitely the hardest part for me but I have zero regrets for how we’ve done life. It has allowed us to experience new cultures, new experiences, live as a minority in an area (which was incredibly eye opening as a 20 something who had never lived outside of white suburbia), make friends with people we never would have thought would be our closest friends and also it’s opened up job possibilities.

[Velar Fricative]

I’ll always talk up NYC as an option (especially because we can hang out again lol). I’m born and bred here with no desire to leave, and our lives are just too ingrained here anyway. So, we’ve never moved for jobs but if something came along, we’d think more about if it’s somewhere we’d want to live without that job. It sounds like you are excited about the prospect so I’d go for it.

And just like the Bay Area is huge and varied, so is NYC. It might take more than one shot to find the right neighborhood for you but there’s a neighborhood for everyone here, truly. Plus the suburbs if you find you want a quieter life.

[penguingrrl]

We’ve moved for jobs. The last move we regretted so much that H left academia and moved into a completely new industry to get away from it. It wasn’t even far, but the level of culture shock was more than we expected (from the Jersey shore to Nazareth , PA, an hour and a half). But that change allowed us to build a life in our home town near our parents, which is a good thing for us (we both have parents who respect boundaries well and are supportive, we are incredibly lucky on that). But even though I hated where we were, I don’t regret that move because it helped us move forward.

[audry80]

Oct 13, 2024 18:00:37 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

I’ll always talk up NYC as an option (especially because we can hang out again lol). I’m born and bred here with no desire to leave, and our lives are just too ingrained here anyway. So, we’ve never moved for jobs but if something came along, we’d think more about if it’s somewhere we’d want to live without that job. It sounds like you are excited about the prospect so I’d go for it.

And just like the Bay Area is huge and varied, so is NYC. It might take more than one shot to find the right neighborhood for you but there’s a neighborhood for everyone here, truly. Plus the suburbs if you find you want a quieter life.

❤️

[meanie]

Yes, we moved to the NYC area in our 20's for H's job. The pay was insane and there was a stipend for housing so it made $$$ sense, but we ran back to MA after 9 months.

We don't look back on it with too much regret though, it was an experience. It was easier to pick up and move back then because we didn't have kids so the quick move back and forth only impacted us.

We visited NYC a few times to look for housing and just get a feel for living there, we ultimately ended up renting in Hoboken NJ. I grew up very close to NYC and visited there a lot and love the city - but it turns out living there we didn't do any of the fun stuff you do as a tourist and the experience wasn't what we thought it would be. 

Part of the problem was that I stayed at my company and took a job where I could get it - a horrendous 2 hour drive away. I spent so much of my time in a car or at work during the week, and H was super busy at his big NYC job so we didn't get a lot of down time. We rarely went into the city for fun because we were so exhausted and H spent his whole week there.

Another big problem was that we felt cut off from friends and family. No one really visited and we were too busy to go anywhere. It was just the 2 of us and while we are great at making new friends, we didn't really have the time or energy. 

All that said, I wouldn't discourage anyone from trying a new experience. It brought us closer together and really helped us grow up. We still laugh about our time there and gained exposure to so many things that we wouldn't have otherwise. 

HOWEVER - kids added into the mix - it would take a LOT of time and research to move us anywhere right now.