Teacher vent - Update

[meanie]

I was going to post in the randoms but this got long. Before I start, I love teachers. My H taught for years and I truly understand that this job never ends and the people who do it are freaking superheroes.

BUT 
I am so frustrated with one of DD's teachers.



DD is an easy student, she has always been a self-starter and motivated - I seriously do not know where she gets it from. I was surprised when she brought home her first test in social studies and she had a super low score - we reviewed it with her and I emailed the teacher to ask if she could get some extra help. Teacher replies that she has no concerns and will let me know if she thinks she needs help.



Then *literally a week later* DD brought home a D on her progress report. A complete anomaly compared to her other classes ever in the history of he being in school. Clearly there is something to be concerned about now, right?


I email the teacher 2 more times - once about the grade, and again about a test she marked incorrectly as a 0. DD also talks to the teacher in person about the missing test score.



GUYS. Another test came home today, another low grade. Some of it was DD not understanding, but the open responses look good to me....but I am not a social studies teacher so who knows.



H (former teacher) talked me down and I sent the 4th very nice e-mail to this teacher, which I am 99% sure will go unanswered. Next I will call the principal but this is bananas. We are 2 months into school and I am so pissed that this one unresponsive teacher is creating so much stress for my already anxious kid.

She has until Tuesday, and I will STILL be nice when I call the principal, but inside I am screaming.

[Deleted]

How old is she? If she’s in middle school or older, she may want to try communicating with her teacher directly. You can (and should!) absolutely coach her on these conversations and emails. The teacher may be more willing to work with a student than with a parent. I’m not sure whether I agree that that’s right, but it seems to be common in middle school and up.

[redheadk]

I would not be ok with that type of email being ignored. My next step (as a former teacher myself) would be to respond to that email with a “I’m following up to make sure you saw this email” message, ccing the principal.

While I expect my daughter (7th) to handle her grades, etc., herself, it sounds like your dd has tried to some extent. Regardless of how the teacher feels about it, I do expect my emails regarding my concerns to be answered.

[Jalapeñomel]

What grade?


Have you looked into help outside of school instead of waiting on the teacher?

[UMaineTeach]

I vote setup a parent meeting (in person if possible) or a phone call. Clearly email is not something the teacher is interested in, you need them to be a captive audience, but have time to prepare.

(Still email the principal to complain)

[meanie]

Oops I thought I replied last night

DD is 11, in 6th grade. This is the first year of having multiple teachers so my head is spinning trying to stay on top of everything she has going on - luckily DD is doing pretty well with the transition.

An in person meeting or phone call would be ideal, DD just seems so lost in this class. She gets 100's on homework and classwork but test/quiz/project scores are all over the place. She seems to be struggling with demonstrating that she knows the material but when we review it she clearly knows the answers.

I love our principal and will definitely go to her next but I am also worried that the teacher will be harder on DD if we do. I have been hearing some things from DD (not letting kids use the bathroom, not allowing kids to report to the office when called) that just make me question how she runs her class in general.

[Jalapeñomel]

Oct 26, 2024 9:08:34 GMT -5 meanie said:

Oops I thought I replied last night

DD is 11, in 6th grade. This is the first year of having multiple teachers so my head is spinning trying to stay on top of everything she has going on - luckily DD is doing pretty well with the transition.

An in person meeting or phone call would be ideal, DD just seems so lost in this class. She gets 100's on homework and classwork but test/quiz/project scores are all over the place. She seems to be struggling with demonstrating that she knows the material but when we review it she clearly knows the answers.

I love our principal and will definitely go to her next but I am also worried that the teacher will be harder on DD if we do. I have been hearing some things from DD (not letting kids use the bathroom, not allowing kids to report to the office when called) that just make me question how she runs her class in general.

I'd definitely ask for a phone call or in-person meeting first before going to the principal.  I would say in an email, "Please let me know a day/time when I can call to chat about my child's progress.  I'm available on day/time (give a couple of days and times). And then if the teacher doesn't respond within a day or two, forward the email to admin (with the time stamp)with your concerns. 

I would also caution against the stuff you're hearing because kids are not reliable narrators. Not saying it's false, just take it with a grain of salt. 

[definitelyO]

on the not allowing the bathroom -that is a no go for me. I would enable my child to walk out of the classroom to the bathroom if they really needed to go and the teacher said no.

[Roc A Bee]

My DH emailed a teacher today of our Senior and got a response the same day. I generally expect a response in 48 hours.

[sandandsea]

Does your child have a counselor she and you could involve? It sounds like your daughter has already asked in addition to you so I’d reach out to the counselor for help. If that doesn’t work then I’d go to the principal.

[formerlyak]

Late to the party here, but you mentioned one low test grade and a week later the D on the progress report. Is that test one of the only grades represented on the progress report? Sometimes those are greatly affected by timing. My A student had that happen in AP Chem his junior year. D on the progress report. It was because they only had one test posted. Teacher said he had no concerns because that one test is known to be the hardest of the year and he was confident DS would be fine. Ended the semester with a B.

Perhaps the teacher has no concerns because she knows the transition from 5th to 6th is rough for some kids? She could have explained that, but I know it’s the case for lots of kids and sometimes it’s only one class that requires a different way of thinking, explaining, understanding.

I found that once DS hit middle school, coaching him on how to talk with teachers went a lot further than my emails.

I think the teacher could have explained her stance better to you, but it’s not uncommon for timing to affect progress reports or for teachers to seem standoffish to parents at this point.

[meanie]

formerlyak There wasn't much graded prior to the progress report - the one low quiz/test score, one test marked incorrectly as a 0, and 4 assignments that she got 100 on.

Now she has 2 more low test scores that we can't make sense of (open responses seem correct) and the 0 is still in the grade book. I just feel like DD is floundering in this class with no guidance and every paper she gets back is a surprise.

sandandsea there is a counselor, who is fantastic and we love -great idea. DD is starting to get down on herself and says she feels like she is "bad" and can't do anything right. She puts a lot of pressure on herself and because of that has always performed very well - now that anxiety is working against her.

We are calling the principal today, I was really hoping to hear back by now since we both sent the 4th and 5th emails on Friday.

[redheadk]

Letting the 0 on a test just sit in the grade book is so strange to me, especially knowing that it would reflect on her progress report.

[thebreakfastclub]

Oct 25, 2024 18:05:38 GMT -5 UMaineTeach said:

I vote setup a parent meeting (in person if possible) or a phone call. Clearly email is not something the teacher is interested in, you need them to be a captive audience, but have time to prepare.

(Still email the principal to complain)

Lol I'm not always interested in email either. But since communicating with people is part of my job, I read and respond in a timely manner.

Especially when some poor kid is twisting in the wind with a low grade, how sad to just ignore this whole thing.

[meanie]

UPDATE

We emailed the principal and the teacher finally replied.....with an absolute word vomit. 

TLDR: There is review stuff given to students (DD always gets 100 on these) and DD didn't attend extra help (which we did not know about) 

PDQ, I will DD in a bit 😭



*poof*

[mofongo]

Did your DD not know about the extra help??

[mccallister84]

I think after that reply you need to have a sit down meeting with the teacher. It sounds as though you don’t necessarily agree that her grades on the assignments are correct. I think getting in the same room will help you all get on the same page.

[sparkythelawyer]

So, all she could say is "Your daughter didn't come to the session."

I'd see if she'd be willing to meet in person to show you what the answers should have been? Then maybe talk to the principal? This is weird.

[onetruething]

This is all so weird to me. Can you ask to see your DD's completed study guides/ notebook as well as the rubric the teacher uses to grade the open responses? Comparing these may provide helpful information.

Here is my theory- Your daughter is not answering the questions correctly on the study guide. But the teacher is grading on completion which is why she has 100's in classwork and homework. But then she's using these to create her answers on the test, and getting marked down. If this is the case I can see it being super confusing to an 11 year old.

[redheadk]

Oct 29, 2024 13:48:13 GMT -5 onetruething said:

This is all so weird to me. Can you ask to see your DD's completed study guides/ notebook as well as the rubric the teacher uses to grade the open responses? Comparing these may provide helpful information.

Here is my theory- Your daughter is not answering the questions correctly on the study guide. But the teacher is grading on completion which is why she has 100's in classwork and homework. But then she's using these to create her answers on the test, and getting marked down. If this is the case I can see it being super confusing to an 11 year old.

I suspect that is probably the case based on what the teacher said and the kid's confusion.

It would be nice if you could have a phone call, it really sounds like your DD needs some more support to get on the right track and this slow back and forth via email is frustrating. 

As someone who has a middle school and was a classroom teacher, I'll add that kids who don't know they need help or don't know what exactly they need help with are often hesitant to go to tutorials. DD's teachers say to come with specific questions...well, when you are just generally confused but can't pinpoint why, that's hard to do! I'd still encourage her to go to the sessions prior to each test, though. 

[meanie]

Oct 29, 2024 13:48:13 GMT -5 onetruething said:

This is all so weird to me. Can you ask to see your DD's completed study guides/ notebook as well as the rubric the teacher uses to grade the open responses? Comparing these may provide helpful information.

Here is my theory- Your daughter is not answering the questions correctly on the study guide. But the teacher is grading on completion which is why she has 100's in classwork and homework. But then she's using these to create her answers on the test, and getting marked down. If this is the case I can see it being super confusing to an 11 year old.

I had the same thought, how would she get 100's on the prep and fail the test. Also how would she know she needed to attend the extra help if she got 100 on the study guide.

H's head exploded when he got the reply (she left me off of it lol), he replied back with the principal cc'ed and asked for a meeting. DD will be attending all the extra help sessions from now on.

I specifically asked the teacher 4 times for extra help, said we could do before/after school or if she had resources for us at home. The non-response while she continued to fail is just baffling...and now she seems to be implying that DD just didn't try so oh well.

[mofongo]

Oct 29, 2024 13:58:35 GMT -5 meanie said:

Oct 29, 2024 13:48:13 GMT -5 onetruething said:

This is all so weird to me. Can you ask to see your DD's completed study guides/ notebook as well as the rubric the teacher uses to grade the open responses? Comparing these may provide helpful information.

Here is my theory- Your daughter is not answering the questions correctly on the study guide. But the teacher is grading on completion which is why she has 100's in classwork and homework. But then she's using these to create her answers on the test, and getting marked down. If this is the case I can see it being super confusing to an 11 year old.

I had the same thought, how would she get 100's on the prep and fail the test. Also how would she know she needed to attend the extra help if she got 100 on the study guide.

H's head exploded when he got the reply (she left me off of it lol), he replied back with the principal cc'ed and asked for a meeting. DD will be attending all the extra help sessions from now on.

I specifically asked the teacher 4 times for extra help, said we could do before/after school or if she had resources for us at home. The non-response while she continued to fail is just baffling...and now she seems to be implying that DD just didn't try so oh well.

Am I reading wrong, or are they going over the prep the next day? And the teacher tells them to right down the correct answer in their notebooks if they got it wrong?

[donutsmakemegonuts]

Honestly, after reading the teachers response, I am still confused on her grading. How does your DD not going to the extra help session factor in her grade? If she is completing her work and getting the 100% for completion only, is she not correcting her answers when they go over them in class??

[dexteroni]

Oct 29, 2024 14:05:13 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Am I reading wrong, or are they going over the prep the next day? And the teacher tells them to right down the correct answer in their notebooks if they got it wrong?

That’s the way I’m reading it too. So meanie I’d recommend going over recent homework and test answers with your DD and see if you can find where the disconnect lies.

But also, meanie you originally asked the teacher if there was a way to get extra help and the teacher said she doesn’t need it. Then in her next reply she blamed DD’s low grade on her not coming to the extra help sessions. Ummm that’s what you were asking about. wtf. It doesn’t sound like this teacher is keeping very good track of her students if she’s failing to record grades and saying there’s no reason for concern when a student has a D average. I’d try to sort out as much as you can with DD first and then meet with the teacher in person.

[meanie]

mofongo and donutsmakemegonuts I had to read the teacher's response 5 times to comprehend what she was trying to say. I am still fuzzy on the exact process she was outlining but it sounds like they get a study guide to do on their own, then it's reviewed in class and they are supposed to correct it and then use that material to study - I have no problem with any of that.

The main issue with her communication is that I specifically asked about extra help 4 times after the first low test score. There have been 4 low quiz/test scores since my initial reach out on 9/19. In our eyes she dropped the ball in a major way and it is evident that she was never going to respond without us escalating to the principal. \

Ultimately we will get DD through this and back on track, she will have this teacher for all of middle school (small school). We will do whatever it takes and deal with the crap communication, it just sucks.

[meanie]

Oct 29, 2024 12:39:47 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Did your DD not know about the extra help??

She knew about it in the vague sense that a 6th grader knows about anything. When I asked her if there was extra help she said "yeah there was but it's over"

I think DD didn't think she needed extra help and/or it was held at the same time as her after school activities. She is going to all of the extra help from now on regardless.

[meganew]

As a teacher, I can’t imagine receiving 4 emails from a parent and not responding. The thought is stressing me out. Lol

[katfco]

As a 9th grade teacher who's also taught middle school, this is not an age when kids automatically know they need help. Even now, I have kids who don't always know they don't understand. Also, when is the extra help offered? Is she asking kids to stay after school/give up their lunches for it?

The saying "no concerns" following a D grade and not responding after that tells me she probably is a hands-off "student responsibility" teacher. That doesn't work well with this age.

definitelyO, regarding the bathroom, there are always nuances to "no bathroom" rules. My school has a policy of no passes the first and last 10 minutes of class, or at all last period. I've had students tell me "it's an emergency" when they were playing around in the halls just a few minutes before. At some point, kids need to manage their own time, within reason.

[tiki]

Oct 29, 2024 16:24:59 GMT -5 katfco said:

My school has a policy of no passes the first and last 10 minutes of class, or at all last period. I've had students tell me "it's an emergency" when they were playing around in the halls just a few minutes before. At some point, kids need to manage their own time, within reason.

I don't want to derail this thread, but periods, gas, diarrhea, and nausea can all easily cause bathroom emergencies that weren't an issue 10 minutes ago and can't wait an entire class period.

[katfco]

Oct 29, 2024 17:03:41 GMT -5 tiki said:

Oct 29, 2024 16:24:59 GMT -5 katfco said:

My school has a policy of no passes the first and last 10 minutes of class, or at all last period. I've had students tell me "it's an emergency" when they were playing around in the halls just a few minutes before. At some point, kids need to manage their own time, within reason.

I don't want to derail this thread, but periods, gas, diarrhea, and nausea can all easily cause bathroom emergencies that weren't an issue 10 minutes ago and can't wait an entire class period.

Absolutely, which is why I do allow for grace, but you also have to know the student and read the situation.