Monday Randoms

[beerlover]

Oct 28, 2024 12:28:20 GMT -5 TR said:

beerlover - as someone married to a person who loves Michigan football so much so that I put the Michigan schedule in my calendar to avoid conflicts and that we are flying home a day early so as to not miss the Michigan/Ohio State game this year, I sympathize. Did he express previously that he didn't feel comfortable going to two places? My H is very clear about his priorities and so I make sure to honor that, BUT he's clear about it beforehand. I think your H could have better communicated just how important the game was to him.

He didn't, and I think he was mad at himself for that, which is mainly where the outburst came from.

[spindle92]

For once in my life, I want the rumor mill at work to be better.
Today was suppose to be my first day back at work from a 12-week leave. I'm at home sick with covid and my mgr has known since Friday.
I stopped counting the # of messages I have received asking where I am.
Come on people - do better with gossip.

[beerlover]

Oct 28, 2024 12:40:17 GMT -5 candreco said:

Oct 28, 2024 12:21:37 GMT -5 beerlover said:

I just will never prioritize football over other social things and I don't think he'll die if he misses a few minutes of a game, there are other options like radio and watching stuff on your phone if need be, but also maybe I am just a jerk for not prioritizing his interests?

I'm sorry, this is the same guy that already goes to every home game, taking up basically whole days to watch college kids play a game, on top of having a job that requires a lot of weekday hours? You're not the jerk here.

Ha, yes, yes it is the same person.

To be fair, the Ironman training was almost 2 years ago and that was spring/summer, so he's really just doing one annoying time consuming hobby at a time.

I'm 100% sure he knows he was wrong in this instance. But IDK, maybe my attitude could be a little less "your hobby is stupid?" (edit - not that I've ever said that, but he knows I don't get the interest)

[beerlover]

H does go to the home games, yes. But he doesn't like, spend all day watching sports at home or anything. He is an active participant in doing whatever needs done at the house. To be clear.

[TR]

Oct 28, 2024 13:19:03 GMT -5 beerlover said:

Oct 28, 2024 12:28:20 GMT -5 TR said:

beerlover - as someone married to a person who loves Michigan football so much so that I put the Michigan schedule in my calendar to avoid conflicts and that we are flying home a day early so as to not miss the Michigan/Ohio State game this year, I sympathize. Did he express previously that he didn't feel comfortable going to two places? My H is very clear about his priorities and so I make sure to honor that, BUT he's clear about it beforehand. I think your H could have better communicated just how important the game was to him.

He didn't, and I think he was mad at himself for that, which is mainly where the outburst came from.

Totally. And I should have said that his outburst was COMPLETELY out of line. H has never yelled at me about Michigan football. But we have been late to dinner with friends (his friends, which I think is important lol) because a game went into overtime.

[candreco]

Oct 28, 2024 13:22:35 GMT -5 beerlover said:

Oct 28, 2024 12:40:17 GMT -5 candreco said:

I'm sorry, this is the same guy that already goes to every home game, taking up basically whole days to watch college kids play a game, on top of having a job that requires a lot of weekday hours? You're not the jerk here.

Ha, yes, yes it is the same person.

To be fair, the Ironman training was almost 2 years ago and that was spring/summer, so he's really just doing one annoying time consuming hobby at a time.

I'm 100% sure he knows he was wrong in this instance. But IDK, maybe my attitude could be a little less "your hobby is stupid?" (edit - not that I've ever said that, but he knows I don't get the interest)

Ok, but it doesn't really matter if you think his hobby is stupid or not, you already do a LOT to make it possible for him to invest as much time in it as he does. And now you're still questioning whether YOU could have been nicer about him losing his shit at you over missing a few minutes of a game, through no fault of yours? Look, I don't know your relationship, your H, etc. but the fact that you're having trouble shrugging this off means something, even if it's just that he needs to take a step back and get some perspective here.

ETA: and please don't take this as digging in, it's just that this dynamic of picking up a lot of slack to enable a partner's job/hobby/whatever hits close to home for me and I know how easy it is for the constant juggling of kids, home, work, etc. to build up into resentment if I don't proactively talk to DH about it.

[followyourarrow]

Please recommend your garment travel bag. I need to pack several nice dresses for our vacation.

[deadwing]

beerlover, I echo candreco. The impression you give of YH is that he's quite selfish with his time and relies on you to do more than 50% of parenting and general day to day life stuff. You are in no way the AH here.

[wildrice]

Oct 28, 2024 12:21:37 GMT -5 beerlover said:

I just will never prioritize football over other social things and I don't think he'll die if he misses a few minutes of a game, there are other options like radio and watching stuff on your phone if need be, but also maybe I am just a jerk for not prioritizing his interests?

I don't think this is the wrong attitude, but I do think this needs to be discussed between the two of you instead of you both assuming the other is on the same page as you. We watch a lot of football/sports and usually my H is very flexible about missing parts of games/starting the game late on DVR/etc, but we discuss it in advance if we have other plans so that we can go into it with the expectation that that's what we're doing. I think if I was planning to be somewhere to watch something with other people at a specific time and then my spouse seemed like they didn't care about that plan, I'd be irritated. 

HOWEVER I think he could have spoken up instead of expecting you to read his mind, so it was his own fault that he got pissed about it.  

[litskispeciality]

spindle92, my head just exploded. Being vague in case you want to delete later, but I thought folks are supposed to leave someone alone if they're out. Your manager absolutely should have said something simple that your return date has been extended. I hope you feel better!

I'm proud of DH and I for going out on Saturday night. I went to see my dad and DH helped one of his brother's move, so we were both like "yeah we don't want to go to that Halloween party tonight". I still got dressed up in my (DIY Punky Brewster) costume for pictures because I'm on the cusp of millennial and wanted to share on social media lol. Once dressed we decided to go for a drink, which turned in to almost 3 hours out. They had a very young band doing 80's covers dressed up like the bands like Poison, it was so cool.

One funny story about the generation gap. I'm waiting in line for a beer and see someone in a top hat, steam punk goggles and a maroon blazer. I said "oh are you 4 Non-Blondes?!" (all excited) The person responds "No! I'm Willy Wonka", and then seemed a bit offended. I guess they were the new Willy Wonka that I haven't seen? Thankfully I didn't run in to them the rest of the night, but like calm down dude.

[picksthemusic]

Oct 28, 2024 9:25:56 GMT -5 meanie said:

I am just waiting for Halloween to get over with so I can put my tree up.

This is DH. He wants to put the tree up this weekend so it's done. lol

[wildrice]

Why do I always do this - I feel like I don't have enough going on in my life/social life and then I schedule a bunch of stuff, but then when it comes time to do it I don't want to do any of it?

I committed to doing things 3x this week, plus all day Saturday. I mean two of the nights are just calling voters to cure ballots, and then Saturday is all work related stuff - but all of it is optional and I didn't have to sign up for any of it if I didn't want to! I did already reschedule my Wednesday social plans, at least. I can't believe I ever lived a life where I left my house every day, lol.

[starburst604]

I learned last night that my mom CALLED THE POLICE when she saw the Northern Lights recently. She had no idea that they would be visible and thought that China was releasing poisonous gasses or something. To be fair, the police also had no idea what they were when she called but omg.

[jinkies]

Lol starburst604. It's funny because the police didn't know either-- I would love to see a transcript of that call.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Oct 28, 2024 13:22:35 GMT -5 beerlover said:

Oct 28, 2024 12:40:17 GMT -5 candreco said:

I'm sorry, this is the same guy that already goes to every home game, taking up basically whole days to watch college kids play a game, on top of having a job that requires a lot of weekday hours? You're not the jerk here.

Ha, yes, yes it is the same person.

To be fair, the Ironman training was almost 2 years ago and that was spring/summer, so he's really just doing one annoying time consuming hobby at a time.

I'm 100% sure he knows he was wrong in this instance. But IDK, maybe my attitude could be a little less "your hobby is stupid?" (edit - not that I've ever said that, but he knows I don't get the interest)

There’s a difference between not really getting it, and belittling it. I really doubt you belittle his dumbass interest in PSU football 🤣.

[mrsukyankee]

beerlover, I know of my H's love for Arsenal and I'd be fuming and yell at him if he ever yelled at me about us being late to a game. No. No sir. You do not lose your shit at me EVER for something out of my control that you also agreed to. So, no, you are NOT the AH here. He needed to hear that he was in the wrong very, very, very loudly.

[picksthemusic]

I'm trying not to be upset over this, but I swear on everything our bathroom plumbing issues are the stuff of nightmares.

Long story short, the work we had done to our primary bathroom 2+ years ago is leaking again (work finally finished in April-ish of this year). And now we get to add in the tub that was replaced as well. Both were plumbed incorrectly (or so we think) and now they have to rip out the ceiling to figure out where the leaks are coming from even though it was supposedly done. And now they're dragging their feet fixing it because we had extra work done on our bathroom and appropriated funds from insurance didn't cover everything. So... yeah.

All of this after our recent toilet overflow due to a blocked main sewer line that caused damage to our hardwoods and drywall that caused us to be displaced in our kitchen/laundry room/downstairs powder room for 6+ months.

GAHHHH.

[bears]

Oct 28, 2024 14:24:18 GMT -5 picksthemusic said:

Oct 28, 2024 9:25:56 GMT -5 meanie said:

I am just waiting for Halloween to get over with so I can put my tree up.

This is DH. He wants to put the tree up this weekend so it's done. lol

My daughter asked if we could buy a fake tree this weekend so we can put it up and have it up all year round.

[blondemoment123]

Oct 28, 2024 14:54:21 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

I learned last night that my mom CALLED THE POLICE when she saw the Northern Lights recently. She had no idea that they would be visible and thought that China was releasing poisonous gasses or something. To be fair, the police also had no idea what they were when she called but omg.

Omg bless her 😂

[emilyinchile]

Oct 28, 2024 12:47:10 GMT -5 livinitup said:

Not all trips are easy to plan or in the cards, kid.

L asked me last weekend "why we never travel". I had to remind him we were in New York, which is on a whole other continent, last month. Apparently he wants to go to ALL the countries, and I had to explain how time and money are required for trips and not always available!

[thebreakfastclub]

beerlover There's the national championship game and then there's the first part of a random game against unranked Wisconsin. I think your H indulges his love of PSU football relatively unchecked and his outburst was over the top.

[notsopicky]

Oct 28, 2024 15:17:29 GMT -5 jinkies said:

Lol starburst604 . It's funny because the police didn't know either-- I would love to see a transcript of that call.

It's public information--she could call and ask for it. 🤣🤣

[maudefindlay]

beerlover I'm mostly annoyed that he said you don't understand his love of football. WTF Dude? You make it possible for him to tra la la off and do whatever he fancies. How much more understanding does he need you to be? FFS you also mostly handled the flea situation on your own too. You need to join a local Mrs. Roper group. You get to meet up with other ladies, wear muumuus (the most comfortable clothing ever), and drink!

[erbear]

Oct 28, 2024 11:27:36 GMT -5 jinkies said:

I have been hiking a lot this fall, and yesterday took a long bike ride along the river. My hot take is that Pennsylvania has as beautiful of a fall as anywhere in the country. There is no need to go all the way to New England to look at leaves. The trees have been so gorgeous this year.

My bike ride also took me through a local town known for its Halloween decorations. There is a lady who does this super elaborate Tim-Burton-esque display. She is a retired art teacher and hand-makes all the dolls, and most of them are based on people she knows. It was amazing. Hoping I can go back with the kids one day this week before she takes it down.

100%. I went for a hike yesterday in the urban park by my house and it was breathtaking...right in the middle of Philly.

[beerlover]

Oct 28, 2024 16:57:54 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

beerlover There's the national championship game and then there's the first part of a random game against unranked Wisconsin. I think your H indulges his love of PSU football relatively unchecked and his outburst was over the top.

This is the most accurate summary of things here 😂

[pandorica]

I voted today! I was planning to do it later in the week when I WFH, but my friends/coworkers decided to walk to a different site at lunch today. So we all went and had a voting double date hah! (my bff and her H work with me and my H works in the same building, we all went together)

I'm glad I don't have to think about that anymore (besides, you know, the general constant stress about the results).

I'm so over my H right now though. I've told him for more than a week that I have a meeting tomorrow that will require him to deal with the bus + getting the twins to/from daycare. He okayed it, and I have been reminding him literally daily since last week. Tonight he was like "wait do I have to get DD on the bus?!" and acted all surprised and put out. REHOME TIME.

[beerlover]

Oct 28, 2024 17:41:23 GMT -5 maudefindlay said:

beerlover I'm mostly annoyed that he said you don't understand his love of football. WTF Dude? You make it possible for him to tra la la off and do whatever he fancies. How much more understanding does he need you to be? FFS you also mostly handled the flea situation on your own too. You need to join a local Mrs. Roper group. You get to meet up with other ladies, wear muumuus (the most comfortable clothing ever), and drink!

Haha! This looks amazing.

I do have plenty of friends to go out with, thankfully! It's just, 2 hours of a girls dinner or whatever doesn't compare to a 12 hour tailgating day, lol. I need a hobby that takes up more time

I'm going to NY with a friend next week for 2 days also, so I am excited to get some time to myself.

[beerlover]

Just RSVP'd to a Harris rally in Harrisburg Wednesday. I probably shouldn't, it's a 2 hour drive and logistics may be a pain, but I want to try and make it work depending on the details of where it is.

I already saw her at another event in Western PA, but she didn't speak and I could only see her if I stood on my tiptoes. I want rally vibes, dammit!

[heygrey]

beerlover , I know the basic progression of your husband's career over the years. I'm guessing these hobbies are things that predate his current demanding position (plus the masters(??) degree he's currently pursuing for said job!) so in his mind he's still doing the same that he's always done - work + fun. But if his job + degree is taking a lot more hours and he's still trying to do all the same hobbies it is time for CTJ talk.

ETA: And I would lose my shit if H treated me like that over a football game. A completely inconsequential football game at that. I like sports, we watch a lot in our house, and I am an obligatory Penn State fan. But sports do not take precedent over relationships. He can miss 30 minutes of a 3 hour game without being an asshole. 

[livinitup]

beerlover Just so you know, it’s stupid. It is. It’s a stupid hobby. We all think it’s a stupid hobby, too. You’re a nice person and nice people self reflect after a fight with a partner. That’s cool that you are self-reflecting. All that reflecting should land you on solid ground - “yup, stupid.” That’s a fair observation.