College applications - Did you use a counselor / coach

[missva]

I'm looking for parents of seniors or college Freshman who have recently been through the college application process. I have a junior who is starting to look at colleges, and the application process is a bit overwhelming. Additionally, with the crazy competition, a few have suggested a college counselor / coach to help with applications, essays, review activities, suggest best approaches for specific colleges etc. Have you used one and was it worth it? Most are quite expensive. 

[W.T.Faulkner]

I haven't gone through this as a parent yet but I am a college counselor (at a school, not an independent one).

The "crazy competition" is for top-ranked colleges on US News & World Report; the majority of colleges in the US accept the majority of students who apply.

There are so many free resources out there that can help students strengthen their college application. I really love CollegeEssayGuy, for example -- he gives great advice and exercises to help with supplemental essays, which are often the most difficult parts of the application for students. He also has excellent advice for how to approach the Activities section of the Common App.

Without knowing your child or what their aspirations are, I think I would start there before hiring an independent college counselor.

Edit: I forgot one thing. Some parents love having an independent college counselor because talking about colleges with their kid is too stressful for both the kid and the parent, lol. Introducing a third party to help the student can help reduce the tension in the same way that hiring a driving instructor costs some $$, but could save a parent and child from murdering one another in the car.

[hermione]

Nov 14, 2024 13:21:05 GMT -5 missva said:

I'm looking for parents of seniors or college Freshman who have recently been through the college application process. I have a junior who is starting to look at colleges, and the application process is a bit overwhelming. Additionally, with the crazy competition, a few have suggested a college counselor / coach to help with applications, essays, review activities, suggest best approaches for specific colleges etc. Have you used one and was it worth it? Most are quite expensive. 

What does review activities mean? Like they look at a kid's extracurriculars and suggest other ones? My kid would absolutely laugh at those suggestions and she's only 11.

All of that said, my H is a college professor. He is of the opinion that coaches are scams. At most he'd suggest having essays edited by a pro. Not a ghost writer, someone to catch grammatical errors, etc.

[penguingrrl]

We did not use a college counselor. They were very expensive and I didn’t feel it was worth it. My kid’s HS had an awesome college application boot camp they ran over the summer that they did. It was jointly run by the guidance and English departments and covered college essay writing, finding what schools you wanted, the mundane aspects of applying (how long before the deadline to make sure your school counselor has your info, etc). It was $125 and the fee was waived for anyone who qualified for free or reduced lunch.

[jinkies]

Nov 14, 2024 13:31:37 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

Edit: I forgot one thing. Some parents love having an independent college counselor because talking about colleges with their kid is too stressful for both the kid and the parent, lol. Introducing a third party to help the student can help reduce the tension in the same way that hiring a driving instructor costs some $$, but could save a parent and child from murdering one another in the car.

I feel this so deeply. I am considering at least an initial meeting with someone for this reason. Despite having a clear career path in mind, it is virtually impossible to talk to him about college. I may not survive the next year or so.

[onomatopoeia]

Nov 14, 2024 13:31:37 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

I haven't gone through this as a parent yet but I am a college counselor (at a school, not an independent one).

The "crazy competition" is for top-ranked colleges on US News & World Report; the majority of colleges in the US accept the majority of students who apply.

There are so many free resources out there that can help students strengthen their college application. I really love CollegeEssayGuy, for example -- he gives great advice and exercises to help with supplemental essays, which are often the most difficult parts of the application for students. He also has excellent advice for how to approach the Activities section of the Common App.

Without knowing your child or what their aspirations are, I think I would start there before hiring an independent college counselor.

Edit: I forgot one thing. Some parents love having an independent college counselor because talking about colleges with their kid is too stressful for both the kid and the parent, lol. Introducing a third party to help the student can help reduce the tension in the same way that hiring a driving instructor costs some $$, but could save a parent and child from murdering one another in the car.

We hired someone to help DS with his essay for this very reason and it was worth every penny. 

We didn't hire anyone to help coach him through the entire process. *Maybe* if he had a dream career path or was Ivy league bound, but that is definitely not the case.  He has a good guidance counselor and his school was great at helping walk kids though the process. DH and I could fill in any holes.

[simpsongal]

W.T.Faulkner, excellent insights and yes to serving as a mediator. I haven't gone through this, but we pay a piano teacher a lot of money to do exactly what I'm capable of doing b/c teaching my kids for 1-2 years was AWFUL.

You could probably find a lot of information a counselor would provide for free. That said, my boss is working w/one for his son, he's passed on some tips like applying to schools w/rolling admissions to get an "accept" under your belt (I think Penn State and ASU?). They may also have insights into financial aid and scholarships.

[formerlyak]

I have a college freshman, so I went through this process last year. He was looking at some top schools. We did not hire a counselor. He went to the college office at his high school for a few workshops and his English teachers reviewed his essays as part of a class assignment. He did activities that made him happy and wrote their descriptions based on what he was most proud of doing with regard to that activity.

He applied to 14 schools. Was accepted at 9, including 3 UC campuses (Berkeley, Irvine and Santa Barbara), Purdue and Cal Poly SLO as an applied math major. He has friends who did hire college counselors and they didn't fare any better or worse. I am glad we didn't spend the money.

I feel that if you and your child read through the information and do your best and showing who the kid is, there isn't a whole lot more to it. My friends who read applications say that can tell the ones that are perfectly curated by a pro and the ones that really show who the student is.

Also remember that many schools recognize that kids change when they get to college, so being hyper focused on one specific thing isn't always the best route and a lot of independent counselors focus on that. Using my kid as an example, within the first month at Berkeley he decided he didn't want to major in math and he is now wanting to be a Poli Sci major and runs around in Birkenstocks and wants to live in a coop and is on the rowing team - nothing about him a year ago would have led anyone to think this was his path. But he is happy and we love it for him.

[missva]

Thank you all for that insight! We haven't gotten tot he essay portion, but good suggestions on that area. I guess I mostly feel like I'm in the dark compared to other parents who have older kids. I follow the collegenavigators on Insa, but I'll check out the CollegeEssayGuy. Thanks!

[1confused1]

We are going through this now, my son is submitting or he submitted his early action applications. We did not use a counselor, they are very expensive. Our high school counselors are very knowledgeable and there is enough free information out there for references.

[leahcar]

I have a college freshman and a HS junior. So I just did this and will then get to do it again next year. We did not hire a counselor or a coach.

As someone else mentioned- the vast majority of colleges accept the vast majority of applicants. So unless you're really shooting for the stars, you probably don't need a counselor.

I would encourage finding out realistic information about what the current application landscape looks like. You can find that out all on your own. I really like a group on FB called Paying for College 101. I joined it when my first was at the end of her sophomore year in HS. It's a LOT of info- but it also helped me figure out what had changed since I did this as a student.

For us- we were far more concerned about PAYING for college than if our daughter would be admitted. She wants to be a nurse so it's not a profession where people care much about where your degree is from. We found the best way to minimize our expenses were targeting in-state, regional schools that were lower costs to start- and many are quite generous with scholarship money.

Common App essay topics will be available this Spring. We made a spreadsheet at the end of Junior year of where she planned to apply and shared it with each other in Google Sheets. I included the cost of attendance, their avg ACT/SAT scores of accepted applicants, any scholarship money we expected she would get based off posted charts, cost of application fee, deadlines for applications/scholarships (for ease- we treated this as the earlier of those two dates). We used that to figure out which application she should use (ApplyTexas, Common App, directly with the school, etc). We were so worried about accidentally sending something to the wrong school that we divvied up test optional to one application and sent test scores using the other one. (After actually submitting her applications- I don't think this was a valid fear. So I may skip that part with my junior)

My only regret with my current Freshman is not spending more time on standardized tests. You can absolutely get in without good test scores. But many places tie merit money to ACT/SAT. She didn't start her tests until Junior year so it was a small window to improve.

We had a goal of submitting her applications before Senior Year started. We wanted to be able to celebrate wins and focus on scholarships. She worked on her essay during June and July.
I helped her submit applications as soon as they opened in August. She had TWO rolling admissions acceptances on the very first week of Senior Year. It did a lot to boost her confidence and make the rest of the process easier.

[InBetweenDays]

I have a college freshman and a high school sophomore. We did use a college counselor for DD and will likely do so again with DS (I think DS will need it more than DD). DD was not looking to get into any top tier schools (the lowest acceptance rate she applied to was around 40%) but she was very stressed about it all and the counselor helped alleviate that stress for all of us (she had requested to use one). It also resulted in H and I being VERY hands off for the entire process. Of course we had regular conversations about the schools she was interested in, visited those schools, and checked in with her on the process. But overall she managed everything on her own with regular check-ins and reviews with her counselor. I still haven't read her essay at her request.

And this could be DD's personality overall, but navigating that process without us being very involved seemed to give her a huge sense of independence and ownership that has rolled well into her managing and advocating for herself at college.

[cmeon]

My senior finished his apps last month, we did not hire anyone. I did have access to two FB groups run by college counselors dedicated to our states university system- they know the ins and outs of our applications and scholarships- so they have both been very helpful.

DS is also in an IBDP, which gives him access to dedicated counselors.

He only applied to state schools (outside of a pair of out of the country schools recently added). It's definitely the best value for a kid with his stats locally. They are all EA/priority applications, he should hear back from the first one tomorrow!

[jennistarr1]

Not me but a friend of mine was looking into it, and it was someone known to her she turned to but good recommendations. It was 6000$. It seemed to include a lot, but way more than she needed (her school has essay writing workshops with advisors, she had already researched and narrowed her list, there weren't any reach schools, no problem areas to navigate). They ended up negotiating to 150$ an hour any time they needed to work with him. They did end up meeting 6 hours, thought the 900$ was useful

[definitelyO]

Nov 14, 2024 13:31:37 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

Edit: I forgot one thing. Some parents love having an independent college counselor because talking about colleges with their kid is too stressful for both the kid and the parent, lol. Introducing a third party to help the student can help reduce the tension in the same way that hiring a driving instructor costs some $$, but could save a parent and child from murdering one another in the car.

Thank you - yes, this is why we brought one on.  DS had a strong GPA - good SAT - decent extracurriculars  - although we didn't do it until the end of DS's junior year - we were told it was "late" in the process.  But - she helped keep him on task and did proofing for his essays.   When I asked him the summer before he started college if it helped and he said that yes, it definitely did.  She also helped him narrow some of his scope of where to apply.

[circa1978]

This is my semi-regular reminder that the best college is the one that is the best fit for your child, your budget, and their major. I say this confidently, not only because I've worked in the higher ed marketing/admission space for 12 years but my FIL and SIL went to Harvard (and conduct admission interviews for Harvard) and my H went to Columbia. I went to state school. My H and I are closing in on making the same amount of money and while he has some fancier friends, my professional contacts are just as good. Luckily, neither of us graduated with debt but at the end of the day, we both got good educations.

ETA: This applies to undergraduate degrees specifically. Law and medicine are a different topic. And look at the rankings of the school for their major. For example, I attended a state school, but it had  one of the best journalism programs in the country. But you don't want a miserable kid who strives for years to get into a "top" school and isn't happy there and graduates with lots and lots of debt. Good educations can be found at most schools ranked in US News and World Report, even if it's not the top 10 or 20. 

[DotAndBuzz]

Nov 14, 2024 13:31:37 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

I haven't gone through this as a parent yet but I am a college counselor (at a school, not an independent one).

The "crazy competition" is for top-ranked colleges on US News & World Report; the majority of colleges in the US accept the majority of students who apply.

There are so many free resources out there that can help students strengthen their college application. I really love CollegeEssayGuy, for example -- he gives great advice and exercises to help with supplemental essays, which are often the most difficult parts of the application for students. He also has excellent advice for how to approach the Activities section of the Common App.

Without knowing your child or what their aspirations are, I think I would start there before hiring an independent college counselor.

Edit: I forgot one thing. Some parents love having an independent college counselor because talking about colleges with their kid is too stressful for both the kid and the parent, lol. Introducing a third party to help the student can help reduce the tension in the same way that hiring a driving instructor costs some $$, but could save a parent and child from murdering one another in the car.

This right here is why we hired one. We used her Super Deluxe Insane Expensive package, that starts in 9th grade, because (for a lot of reasons) our oldest was kind of losing her way, and not really able to figure out a direction she should take for activities/school. The money we threw at it saved our sanity. All of us. She has mostly told us stuff I had known/suspected, but hearing it from her, instead of parents, makes it more "legit" in my daughter's mind.

One thing she's done that has been helpful is help my older one map out HS courses, and think about timelines. She has also helped my daughter edit some essays she wrote for summer programs, and got my daughter to start on organizing her activities into a spreadsheet WAY early, so that when college apps come time, she's already ahead of the game and it's not such a heavy lift. There is a 0% chance my kid would have done this at my suggestion, lol. 

We'll likely use her for my younger one too, but not starting till junior year.

[7costanza]

My employer actually offers this as a benefit through Bright Horizons and we will likely take advantage of it in a few years since it’s free to us. So double check that you don’t already have access!

[wanderlustmom]

We didn't hire one for our college sophomore or high school senior. Both of them worked on everything with their high school and didn't need DH or I to help except write the checks.

[eb777888]

We just talked about this because David went to his first college fair this week and he's looking at actually applying next year. It's all becoming REALLY real. And we haven't decided for sure, but we are definitely considering it.

eta: I didn't read the replies but after skimming want to add, we would be pay by the hour or not at all. There's no way we're spending upwards of $6k on this. Even if we were swimming in cash...nah. 

[devonpow]

We did use a coach (high school senior who just submitted his last application last night).

It’s pretty common here (very high achieving district with a very competitive but very large public high school - so the college counselors at the school are spread a bit thin) so there was a touch of peer pressure, but we mainly did it to make the process easier in terms of our relationship with DS if that makes sense. He was (kind of still is) going through a phase of thinking everything we said was wrong and getting really irritated with us asking questions etc. Having a neutral adult to help him was a HUGE benefit. I basically told the counselor at the beginning that we wanted it to be their thing - it really lowered the stress in our relationship .

Pluses - she worked with him starting sophomore year with guidance on what classes to take, figuring out what he wanted in a college, what he wanted to study, suggested summer programs to apply to etc. Once applications really started everything was so organized with dates and schedules. They worked on his personal essay all this past summer. The personal essay and all supplemental essays (there are a LOT - he applied to 12 schools) were edited and reviewed numerous times but their team. She helped with things like deciding on where to release his scores and where not to (he had what I thought was a very high SAT score~ right around 1400 ~ but in the land of test optional it wasn’t as high as I thought and he still didn’t submit to certain schools). Stuff like that. They met weekly the past 6 months or so. Less frequently before that.

My goal is NOT to get him into the most competitive school - although a lot of people hire counselors for that reason. He’s not applying to Ivy League. My goal was for him to have a good experience and be able to pick and go to a school that is a good fit for him and that he will be really happy at for 4 years. And to save our relationship through it lol.

I think a lot of what our counselor did is just as easily accomplished with a good school counselor. It’s not necessary. But for us we really loved it and will use her again for DS2. The package/cost is the same no matter when you start so we might start him in 9th grade. He wants to go to art school so I feel building a portfolio etc needs to start early

[devonpow]

Nov 14, 2024 13:31:37 GMT -5 W.T.Faulkner said:

I haven't gone through this as a parent yet but I am a college counselor (at a school, not an independent one).

The "crazy competition" is for top-ranked colleges on US News & World Report; the majority of colleges in the US accept the majority of students who apply.

There are so many free resources out there that can help students strengthen their college application. I really love CollegeEssayGuy, for example -- he gives great advice and exercises to help with supplemental essays, which are often the most difficult parts of the application for students. He also has excellent advice for how to approach the Activities section of the Common App.

Without knowing your child or what their aspirations are, I think I would start there before hiring an independent college counselor.

Edit: I forgot one thing. Some parents love having an independent college counselor because talking about colleges with their kid is too stressful for both the kid and the parent, lol. Introducing a third party to help the student can help reduce the tension in the same way that hiring a driving instructor costs some $$, but could save a parent and child from murdering one another in the car.

I should have read this first lol. The edit is exactly why we hired our counselor. It was pricey but I think really saved us family drama and stress over the last year or so.

[Bad Dingo]

This is hard for me because I can see, reading the previous replies why this would be such a benefit. But just the very idea sounds like cheating, even though I know it's not. It just seems so unfair since so many kids won't have this opportunity. We didn't use one and didn't consider it, but we also wouldn't be able to afford it and we have a relationship w/DD where she doesn't have a problem accepting our help when needed.

I do hope that colleges are able to see when applications come in that have been coached and extra curriculars (i.e. started a non profit) are more about the parents/opportunities provided by money than the actual value of the student.

ETA - if I lived in a different timeline and I was going to use one, I'd do like PP suggested and start at the beginning of high school.  DD's school counselors are so overworked that they really aren't able to provide more than the minimum assistance. We really would have benefited from a plan starting in 9th grade with a progression of classes that would make the most sense for her goals instead of relying on the counselors to put her in the appropriate classes. 

[cjcouple]

We did not. My son wasn't interested in going to a very competitive school. We just used the common app and utilized the school counselor as needed.

They also advised the kids to have their English teachers read their essays (my Don did not 🙄) and to ask for recommendation letters early.

Unfortunately my sons 2 teachers who he asked for recommendations letter failed to get them in on time so I found out his counselor did write one for DS that was fantastic. My son did have a close relationship with him, due to his selective mutism (he had the same counselor his last 3 years and he was his golf coach).

He emailed it to us with his transcript and we used it for his Scholarships as well. He won 3!!

[jeaniebueller]

Nov 14, 2024 15:07:12 GMT -5 InBetweenDays said:

I have a college freshman and a high school sophomore. We did use a college counselor for DD and will likely do so again with DS (I think DS will need it more than DD). DD was not looking to get into any top tier schools (the lowest acceptance rate she applied to was around 40%) but she was very stressed about it all and the counselor helped alleviate that stress for all of us (she had requested to use one). It also resulted in H and I being VERY hands off for the entire process. Of course we had regular conversations about the schools she was interested in, visited those schools, and checked in with her on the process. But overall she managed everything on her own with regular check-ins and reviews with her counselor. I still haven't read her essay at her request.

And this could be DD's personality overall, but navigating that process without us being very involved seemed to give her a huge sense of independence and ownership that has rolled well into her managing and advocating for herself at college.

This is how I feel, I don't think that we should be doing more than making sure they get their applications in on time and proofreading. 

[orval]

My ds is a senior and did not use a counselor. He already knew what he wants to major in and there are only 16 accredited schools in the US so that narrowed it down. He did his research to find out that info. His counselor at school last year (retired over the summer) gave them a rough timeline and packet on applying to college. He requested his recommendations spring of Junior year, wrote his essay over the summer with the help of his writing tutor(he has dysgraphia) and submitted all his apps by Aug. 8th. Pretty simple process. He has been accepted to 4 and waiting on two that he will find out about in January. Awarded "free money" at 3 of the 4. Asked to apply for several more scholarships at two.
So glad he finished his apps early since these scholarships require multiple essays in the applications.
Unless you are applying to super competitive schools where it is basically a lottery because everyone has great stats, you will find a great school that fits your kid. Most schools accept most kids. Run the NPC and look at the Common Data Set.

[sunshineandpinot]

I have not read all the responses but I have what might be a really stupid question. How do college acceptance teams know if the resume is legit? (al la the CA college admittance scandal?)
Can kids just lie on their resume? Does it get fact checked? Can they make up extra curriculars? Inflate their resume? Say they were an officer in a club for 4 years and that might not be true?
Can parents just write their kid's essays for them?
Can they pay for someone to write their essays?
I know test scores and GPAs would be harder to fudge.
How does the playing field stay even remotely even? 
ETA Bad Dingo I agree. It seems like a crazy unfair advantage to be able to outsource this. I mean, same with kids who have highly involved/educated parents vs not. 

dd is a very independent soph and everything I say is wrong lol. So I am very interested in this thread. 

[nicolewi]

This is really interesting to me, because my cousin used to have a business doing this, and I know she did very well. At the time she started her business, this was unheard of in my local area, but I think it’s definitely becoming more and more widespread but still not common where I live. My daughter is a sophomore, and I don’t think we will use one, but I don’t really know for sure. I will say that I have been definitely very underwhelmed by any guidance provided by the school even for the kids’ schedules each year. I feel like we really have to dig and send out questions to people to try to figure out the best choice of classes. It seems a lot harder than I would think to get information.

[litskispeciality]

I was in and out of college admissions and advising (granted most of the schools weren't *that* competitive) for almost 20 years. I'm not a big fan of those pricy college counselors, although I know a couple of folks that did that in between HE jobs. As mentioned here most schools don't require that much extra help. Please everyone try to start with free resources, and then add to what you can afford if you feel you still need it. I just hate seeing people waste money, and/or the unfair advantage to most families who can barely afford the application fee.

FAFSA filing is FREE, always. I know this sounds silly but there (used to) are people out there who will charge you to help file. One of the CC's I worked for offered a free service which I recommended to every single person even if they didn't enroll in the school.

High schools should have financial aid nights. Counselors meet with college reps and should be a good help to your students. I've gone to (smaller) schools where the counselors call students down to meet with a college because they think they'll be a good fit. *ETA walking a fine line here because I know most Guidance Counselors have 8% of their schedule dedicated to college stuff anymore. Heck in my HS days my GC told me I wouldn't get in to college with my SAT scores and yet I graduated college with a scholarship and 2 semesters on the Dean's list so...

Your child should be assigned to an admissions counselor at the prospective college. If the college isn't super competitive the admissions counselor's job will be to guide you through the process, use their help because we're pressed to make enrollments.

Speaking of free, there's a lot of free money out there. We were always told people don't like to write essays and scholarship applications that require essays are worth the time because they typically have fewer applicants. Get your kids started on those early. We had one Dean who "made" her child carve out time for scholarship applications, but she wound up with some money and graduated early due to a special summer start program.

[devonpow]

Nov 15, 2024 9:57:35 GMT -5 sunshineandpinot said:

I have not read all the responses but I have what might be a really stupid question. How to college acceptance teams know if the resume is legit? (al la the CA college admittance scandal?)
Can kids just lie on their resume? Does it get fact checked? Can they make up extra curriculars? Inflate their resume? Say they were an officer in a club for 4 years and that might not be true?
Can parents just write their kid's essays for them?
Can they pay for someone to write their essays?
I know test scores and GPAs would be harder to fudge.
How does the playing field stay even remotely even? 
ETA Bad Dingo I agree. It seems like a crazy unfair advantage to be able to outsource this. I mean, same with kids who have highly involved/educated parents vs not. 

dd is a very independent soph and everything I say is wrong lol. So I am very interested in this thread. 

well transcripts and test scores are the #1 thing schools look at and those can’t really be faked (unless you pay someone to take the test a la Felicity Huffman). For extracurriculars, colleges mostly care about those you were very involved in and/or had leadership roles in. I feel like those are kind of “confirmed” by the guidance counselor letter and letter(s) of recommendation. If you say you started a small business and your letters don’t mention it at all I think that would be fishy. Small things I guess you could make up but I also don’t think those make much of a difference. Like DS1 is in economics club but holds no office with it etc. I honestly don’t think admissions will even really care about that on his application.

So I guess it comes down to, the things admissions actually care about are pretty hard to fake and would require a lot of $$$/pulling strings