@ The Unspoken Grief of Never Becoming a Grandparent @

[aprilsails]

OMG my Mom was the most boomerest of boomers on this topic. Two years after my wedding, when I still wasn't ready to have kids, she gave me a turkey baster for Christmas. She gave me handsewn baby clothes at my bridal shower. An absolute horror show.

Now, as a grandparent, she has shown up. She is pretty involved even though she lives an hour away now. She does PD days and time during the summer and she still drives into town regularly to see them. But the whining was endless beforehand. She also complains if she hasn't seen them in a month.

[aurora]

I'm CFBC and for a long time it looked like my parents wouldn't have a grandchild. I know my mom was very sad about it, but she almost never mentioned it to me (maybe twice in 10 years?) and even when she did it was with full admission that the sadness was hers to deal with, not mine to feel guilty about.

I still felt guilty, but we all know that guilt is not an adequate reason to bring children into the world.

Given that experience, I think most of the NYT article's subjects sound a lot like my mom, and I think that's OK.