Gift Giving Stories

[livinitup]

‘Tis the season, I suppose.

I got the feeling that we were on the verge of some good gift giving stories in the other thread about difficult people to buy for.

Gift “rules” can also make a fun story. Good & bad, whatever you got.

In my family, we have the family rule that you can’t ask for the recipe until December 26th. We came up with that because my mom is SO BAD at receiving anything and acts weird & uncomfortable with most of what my dad enthusiastically buys. Or mostly any of us. She doesn’t like anything flashy & that includes anything/everything like earnings that dangle. So, of course he buys nice earring … that dangle.

[maudefindlay]

Sounds like your Mom just doesn't have a poker face, your Dad needs to do better.

When my older brother and I were a senior and freshman at the same university we were home for the holidays. Our Grandma gave my brother a really cool light that was themed after our university. My Grandma saw me looking at it and said "Oh Maude, I would have gotten you a school lamp too, but it was the only one they had left." Now years after she has been gone we still laugh about it. Same Grandma another year gave us all a framed professional headshot of herself. It was such a cute picture and I was thinking how sweet it must of been her setting that all up and walking into the studio and her carefully picked out outfit when she said "This is for my obituary."

[deadwing]

Omg @livinitup. I might be your mom! I am so uncomfortable receiving gifts. My family is full of not great gift givers...

When I was 8-10, my uncle came home for Xmas with his girlfriend. It's the only time I remember him bringing anyone. I'm the only member of my family in my generation - no siblings or cousins. The girlfriend brought a gift for me. When I unwrapped it, I turned to my mom and went, "I'm sorry, I opened this by mistake, I think it was meant for you". Nope, it really was for me. Everyone was super embarrassed. The gift? A nice little purse. Many little girls probably would have liked it. I still don't carry a purse except on rare occasions when I have to dress up and don't have pockets.

[circa1978]

My grandfather was a very formal man who was hard to shop for. Casual for him was dress pants, a dress shirt, tie and sweater but I rarely saw him out of a suit in 20 years: he wore two piece button up cotton pajamas and robe to sleep. I think we also just assumed he also didn't shop for himself, and he was widowed 15 years before he died. When he did die though, we learned he had devoted an *entire very large walk in closet* to the many, many, many unopened dress shirts, leather goods, cuff links, handkerchiefs, ties, sweaters, pajama sets robes and slippers we had given him over the years, lol. It was like walking into a small department store. But he kept it all and never let on. And what he did wear was so uniformed, we never noticed!

ETA: I just remembered there was also an entire packaged cologne/aftershave section. 😂

[rachers]

My Mom once gifted my DH a Bubba Gump Shrimp cook book. Which is fine, even though he doesn’t really like shrimp. But the best part - she must have never opened before she regifted because inside is a note from my sister to my Mom. Who! Now we don’t speak to, lol.

[macmars45]

The first year H and I were married my ILs got us a fake snow (the kind preschoolers play with in their sensory tables) and so.much canned salmon. We lived in a very small apartment so the 50ish cans of salmon lived in our tiny bedroom closet while we slowly ate through them.

[rosiebear]

I bought my H an excellent set of locally made hot sauces while I was at a conference and when I went through security for the flight home it was seized by TSA.

[somersault72]

My dad loves steak and my parents' anniversary is in January so I bought him a gift certificate to a local high end steakhouse in the area. I was so excited to give him the gift, I was a single mom then, and money was very tight, but I was happy to get something I thought he'd love.

On Christmas morning, he opened up the envelope and was like "I'm not driving to the city" (it's not "in the city") and I don't want to dress up (they don't have a dress code). It hurt my feelings SO much. The silver lining is that my mom and I had tickets to see Jon Stewart, and we used the gift card ourselves before we went to go see him--and it was amazing. But yeah, my dad really sucks sometimes and I hate buying him anything now.

[ssmjlm]

When our daughter’s first Christmas came around and people asked, we said a membership to one of X places we regularly took her.

My MIL gave her a bag of goldfish and a board book. There was a card in the bag and I remember checking it and the envelope more times than reasonable trying to find the membership gift.

My mom, bless this woman, asked after they left “I thought you asked for a membership?” Me too mom, me too.

[rhian]

For Easter a few years ago, my MIL sent us a package that included a kids size 5-6 t-shirt for our 13 month old, flossers (a passive aggressive dig because she is always nagging my partner that he should floss more), and copies of Cooks Illustrated magazine from 2008.

[rubytue]

ssmjlm, I know you have other issues with your MIL, but were there perhaps money issues that year? Goldfish and a board book to me say I don’t have money this year for big gifts.

My worst gift story remains the year we went to the ILs and Christmas morning there was nothing under the tree for me. And people said things like “I thought we weren’t doing adult gifts?” Well, no one told me and I had spent hours sewing hats and socks from personality picked fleece for every one. Plus also, that excuse doesn’t work when the 7 other adult all had stuff. So literally, it was just me. And I’d been know to the family for over 15 years. That was when I declared H was in charge of his own family from them on out. He doesn’t do anything for anyone. But that’s on him.

[ssmjlm]

rubytue they manage to give money to the church and basically buy all the gifts for one of her husbands kids who has never held down a job. So why does my kid get the shaft.

I did their taxes one year. They gave $5k to the church. I told DH I wasn’t helping again.

Hope the church is ready to take care of them when they need it.

[expectantsteelerfan]

I'm going to put this here in hopes that it stops living rent-free in my head.

When my kids were little, we lived out of state from family and only saw them once or twice a year. We came to visit for the holidays the day after Christmas one year when DD was 2 or 3 so ds was 4 or 5. My dad and his then girlfriend got the kids a few things, and one of them was a pack of the little rubber colorful hair ties. I was like, thank you, we use these! because we did go through a lot of them. But then he and the girlfriend asked what they were because they heard they were all the rage with kids these days, and I was like, they are hair ties? and then we moved on because kids kept opening things.

It was years later when my kids got really into making loom band bracelets that I realized they either thought or they actually WERE loom bands. It has bothered me ever since that I don't know whether they actually were (I mean, loom bands could easily be mistaken for those little colorful hair ties) or if they were really hair ties (the packaging I remember in my head was definitely for hair ties, but I could be mistaken in what I'm remembering), but I never brought it back up because I'm sure they don't remember it/don't care, but it has literally bothered me every time I remember and I wish I could go back and relive that moment and do it differently.

[lillaguma]

Nov 15, 2024 22:05:11 GMT -5 livinitup said:

In my family, we have the family rule that you can’t ask for the recipe until December 26th. We came up with that because my mom is SO BAD at receiving anything and acts weird & uncomfortable with most of what my dad enthusiastically buys. Or mostly any of us. She doesn’t like anything flashy & that includes anything/everything like earnings that dangle. So, of course he buys nice earring … that dangle.

I was the one who was bad at receiving a gift last year, and I still feel bad about it. I have a necklace that has little gold leaves on it with the initials of my kids and their birthstone. It's gold, it's nothing super fancy, just off Etsy. So last year I had another baby, so I kept meaning to send the necklace back and get the new guy on there. So at Christmas I open a present from DH and find a box from the necklace company, and I was surprised because I was nearly positive my necklace was still upstairs. Turns out he bought me a completely new necklace with all three kids on it - but in silver. I reacted awful, I was just so surprised, and right away I was like, "Why did you get a silver one??" I definitely prefer gold and wear it almost exclusively. I just feel bad because it was in front of the kids and not a good example on how to graciously receive a gift. Turns out DH had no idea I prefer gold and when I thought back, the (few) jewelry pieces he's gotten me over the years have always been silver. I think he prefers silver. I've worn it once this past year, I try to put it on but just...I don't like it. I feel bad. I want to get my gold one updated, lol. 

On the topic of receipts - my MIL is a huge overgifter and it drives me nuts, but one nice thing she does is put all the gift receipts in an envelope and give them to each family without anyone having to ask. It's so nice to be able to quietly return something without needing to request the receipt. 

[tacokick]

Growing up we never got non-necessities throughout the year so our birthday and Christmas was always when we got what we really wanted like games, toys, more expensive clothes etc. That continued when we were older—we’d get nicer versions of normal things or something that was just fun.

But for some reason when I turned 25 she gave me a bizarre assortment of toiletries: cotton balls, one bar of Dove soap from a multipack, Q-tips (again from a larger container) and nail polish remover. It was like she rooted around under the sink and dumped it into a bag.

I honestly thought it was a joke and she had a real present for me even though that didn’t seem like her. It was my first birthday with my now husband and we had gone to see her for lunch when she presented to me and he thought it was a joke too and it was really awkward.

She said she gave it to me because she thought it would be helpful because I had recently moved. Which, I guess?? But I already had these things and why give me like one soap out of a multipack? She never did anything like that again but I’d love to know what happened there! It was so odd and out of character.

[ksun]

My mother is worth well into the 7 figures. She travels extensively throughout the world (just got back from Azerbaijan, Georgia, Armenia, Turkiye last month, went to Algeria, Tunisia and Morocco earlier in the year, etc). Every year she buys us gifts from Dollar Tree or similar. More than once we have gotten Target gift cards that say $50 and when we go to use them they have significantly less on them. She recently sent me 5 packs of cotton swabs that I know have been in her home since I moved out 28 years ago.

[wildrice]

Maybe 15 years ago, I had a bad streak of gift giving for my parents. The first year, I gave them an electronic picture frame - and then my uncle gave them one too, but his was nicer.

The next year my sisters and I went in on tickets for Rod Stewart. It turned out my dad bought my mom the same tickets, but nicer. Obviously he had no idea we had bought them the same gift, but it was such a bummer when he gave them to her and we were like oh - we got the same thing, but with worse seats lol.

They were gracious in both cases, but it just made me feel poor haha.

[10outof9]

My ex-MIL was the worst (in many, many ways). She was OBSESSED with gift giving being equal between exH and BIL. As in they would receive the exact same gifts. They had several hobbies and interests in common, so most of the gifts made sense for them as individuals.

Then BIL got married, and MIL decided SIL and I needed to receive the exact same gifts as well, even though we had very little in common. The gifts almost always catered to SIL’s tastes or hobbies rather than mine. Think religious jewelry for a religion I don’t believe in, clothing that was not at all my style, etc.

I get wanting to spend the same amount on your kids or DILs, but at least try and match what you’re getting to their individual interests or tastes.

[dirtyred]

I am the easiest person in the world to buy for.  I like weird and unusual things; when there would be Secret Santa at work, the person who drew my name would be so excited because I was fun to shop for.  Went to visit the stepson and family last weekend, and he said I am the only person he knows that he can walk into a store and immediately spot things I would like, that he has trouble narrowing down what to get me.

My mother was the worst gift-giver in the world because she wouldn't get you things that you liked, she would get you things that she thought you should have (which were mostly things that SHE liked).  Every year she would torture me asking for a list of things I might like for Christmas.  I would spend a lot of time choosing things, not too expensive, and not hard to find.  On Christmas day I would open my gifts, and there would be not a single thing from my list.  My mother would say "I didn't know what to get you."

I know I should have been grateful for whatever I got, but after several years of this when she did her "I didn't know what to get you" I replied "How about something from the list?"  She looked a little shocked and said "But those aren't good Christmas presents!"  I said "Maybe not to you, but they are to me."  She couldn't believe that I didn't really want jewelry and perfume (neither of which I wear) and would rather have a Lava Lamp and inflatable Godzilla.

She got a little better (actually, I think my dad started buying my gifts), but she was forever upset that I didn't like the same things that she did.

[sadlebred]

My ex-MIL got me a Santa in an outhouse ornament one year. I still have it and laugh when I see it.

[donutsmakemegonuts]

One year my mom and I planned a trip to NYC before Christmas to see the sights and shop for gifts. My MIL requested a black purse that year for Christmas, which is great because she rarely gave me any ideas and is hard to shop for. I agonized over what style and size to get her but finally settled on one. Fast forward to Christmas and I was so excited for her to open it and when she did, she barely reacted. Like opened it and then set it down and moved on to the next gift. I was so confused. DH later asked his dad what was up because we thought we finally nailed her present that year, because we got her exactly what she asked for. FIL said, oh she said she asked for a brown purse, not black. She bought a brown wallet to match it and was disappointed when she opened it. I KNOW that woman asked for a black purse. She made me feel so terrible and crazy.

[redheadk]

lillaguma, my DH did something similar but less personal. A coworker of his made hammered metal jewelry. Think cuff bracelets and things like that that you would see at the renaissance fair. I only wear gold jewelry with the exception of my wedding rings. He got me custom made pieces from this guy for 3 different occasions, never picking up on the fact that I didn't wear any of it, ever, until I finally asked for the contact info for the guy so I could get DH some jewelry since he seemed so into it but that I had more than enough. He finally stopped.

[ellipses84]

ksun DH’s Aunt and Uncle are like that. They are the only relatives that live in our city. Gifts from them are usually regifts of things they don’t want that have been in their house (mansion with an elevator and waterfront views) for 20+ years or dollar store crap for the kids. For our wedding they gave us a broken tv. It was actually a 2 second fix and DH told them and offered it back but they told us to keep it, so that was pretty great. The other part of our belated wedding gift was the family Christmas china which his Aunt said she hates using even though she hosts Thanksgiving and we lived in a tiny apartment at the time. I’ve also been given a bunch of other family china and glassware to keep or distribute to younger relatives but I suspect a lot of it’s not even family antiques, she’s just trying to get rid of it.

My sisters and I have a funny habit of getting identical gifts or cards for each other. 👯 Like, one year both my sisters got me a magnet that said, “If it fits in a toaster I can cook it!” (I’m a terrible cook). Last year my mom got us all anti-wrinkle cream which some people may have been offended about but apparently one of my sisters said that’s what she wanted and my mom will often get us the same things, especially if she can get a multi-pack from Costco. We usually get all the kids under 18 gifts and then do stocking stuffers for adults for my parents /siblings/ nephews, which allows people to spend a little or a lot for adults (my parents spend a lot, sis who is a single mom and crafty often makes something but it’s all in one stocking).

[konapoppy]

In a work exchange a coworker got me dog poop bags because he knew I walked my dogs a lot and hated clutter. It was the best gift 🤣

[basilosaurus]

Nov 16, 2024 5:51:49 GMT -5 maudefindlay said:

Sounds like your Mom just doesn't have a poker face, your Dad needs to do better.

When my older brother and I were a senior and freshman at the same university we were home for the holidays. Our Grandma gave my brother a really cool light that was themed after our university. My Grandma saw me looking at it and said "Oh Maude, I would have gotten you a school lamp too, but it was the only one they had left." Now years after she has been gone we still laugh about it. Same Grandma another year gave us all a framed professional headshot of herself. It was such a cute picture and I was thinking how sweet it must of been her setting that all up and walking into the studio and her carefully picked out outfit when she said "This is for my obituary."

My parner's grandma did the same. It was weird and kinda scary looking, though.

I wonder if that was a thing that came from their own grandparents' era. It seems very turn of the century

[basilosaurus]

My dad's wife did most of the shopping and all the wrapping. On the labels she'd put things like "to our artist" or "to our musician." She actually did both of those when my sister and I had been playing piano for years, and we were both taking art class, an extra that they paid for.

Now, my sister is the far better artist and continued into AP studio art and also took courses in college. While we both played piano starting in kindergarten, my sister quit the moment my parents let her, and I continued and actively sought out another teach because I'd outgrown mine. I also took lessons at the music school in college.

So, it was obvious who it was for, but still kind of insulting. Oh, and whatever the label said usually predicted the type of gift inside.

Other labels: "clothes horse" was sister and was, shockingly, clothes. "Skier" was me (she also skied, but I was living in CO skiing most weekends while she was in Dallas) and, yes, you guessed it, something ski related. "Reader" would be books intended for me. "Chef" some kitchen doodad, me. We of course, dad included, gave her shit for this and joked that someday we'd get "smart" and "pretty."

[nothingcontroversial]

My mom died in 2018, and then my died died shortly before Christmas in 2023. When we were cleaning out their house this past year, I found a whole bunch of the gifts that I had given them over the years, never used and with all of the tags still attached, and in the original packaging. So I guess that my gifts to them weren't a hit. 

We also found unused gift cards all over the house. The gift cards were for stuff like chain restaurants and Barnes and Noble. Some of them were gift cards that we kids had given them, with the receipts still attached. So we gave out some of the gift cards inside of thank you notes that we sent out to various friends and neighbors who had done favors for us when my dad passed away. We also used some of the restaurant gift cards to purchase food for ourselves. 

[shadyblue42]

One year my MIL gave my DH and I a shower brush. One. Single. Shower brush. To share!

[mysteriouswife]

I was 10 and went to my then stepmom’s family’s Christmas. All the kids got cool toys, but me. My brother got an RC car and pjs from one “aunt.” Same aunt gave me bugs bunny thong underwear. I was mortified. I also got Baby So Soft perfume. My mom threw out the underwear and yelled at my Dad.

[lavenderblue]

Gift giving with exH has scarred me. I love giving gifts and put a lot of thought and effort into what I give people. I remember several Christmas' when he would open a gift and then just hand it right back to me saying "I'll never use this". Or the year that I got him the "wrong" tool so he promptly walked outside and threw it in to the garbage. Luckily everyone else in my family is much more gracious LOL