Gift Giving Stories

[marvine]

My grandfather remarried about a year after my beloved grandma passed away. The new wife loved my younger cousins (think ages 3-5), but for whatever reason kind of had disdain for me, I was 20. Maybe because I was really close with my grandma. The first Christmas she gave all the kids fun toys, I got a set of nail polish that had leaked and then hardened on the outside of the bottle and the DVD of the movie Queen (by Alex Haley). Obviously she walked through Rite Aid and picked them up on the discount rack. The next year she gives out all of the gifts and had nothing for me. My momma raised me right, so I never said a word, just sat there. She finally looks at me and says "oh! We mailed your gift to college!" When I went back to school after break, there was no gift or card that had been mailed to me there.

[lavenderblue]

Oh, I just thought of a funny one. When I was a Senior in High School I started dating my boyfriend in November. There might have been a bit of overlap between his last girlfriend and myself. His family and close friends did a Feast of the Seven Fishes dinner on Christmas Eve and I was invited. Imagine my surprise when there was a small pile of gifts for me, I thought it was very sweet. It wasn't until I started unwrapping them that I realized that the gifts had actually been purchased for his ex-girlfriend and they simply put a new gift tag over the old one with my name on it. I was still very appreciative.

[bittybomb]

Nov 16, 2024 11:27:16 GMT -5 rubytue said:

ssmjlm , I know you have other issues with your MIL, but were there perhaps money issues that year? Goldfish and a board book to me say I don’t have money this year for big gifts.

My worst gift story remains the year we went to the ILs and Christmas morning there was nothing under the tree for me. And people said things like “I thought we weren’t doing adult gifts?” Well, no one told me and I had spent hours sewing hats and socks from personality picked fleece for every one. Plus also, that excuse doesn’t work when the 7 other adult all had stuff. So literally, it was just me. And I’d been know to the family for over 15 years. That was when I declared H was in charge of his own family from them on out. He doesn’t do anything for anyone. But that’s on him.

I'm celebrating 20 years married this week, and we were together 5/5 years before we got married.

I have never ever had a stocking at my in-laws.  My husband and brother in law do every year.  When we were dating, their dog had a stocking.  When we got engaged, my husband thought surely I would get one.  Nope.  When we were married he was super sure.  Still nope.  I started having children.  Each of our children has one now.  Still none for me.  They adopted two older dogs - they both have one now, too.  I'm waiting for my dog to get one because I imagine he would get one long before me.  I guess you need to be related by actual blood or be her actual dogs to earn a stocking at my in-laws.

[rubytue]

(( bittybomb,)) you can have a stocking at my house 😁 Everyone gets a stocking at my house!!

[shauni27]

one year my sister made gifts for people because money was tight. She spent a lot of time making the gifts that were thoughtful and appropriate for the receiver of said gifts. She gifted our cousin a jar of homemade bath salts and bubble bath, etc.

the very next year the cousin gifted it back to my sister, clearly forgetting that my sister is the one who gave it to her in the first place.

Years ago when my H and I were young and living across the country from our families, my in laws shipped us wrapped up boxes of cereal. They also one year gifted us various BBQ sauces each based on/made with a different soda. So like Dr. Pepper BBQ, Mt. Dew BBQ, Pepsi BBQ, etc. They wrapped each one individually for us. We do not drink soda, lol. Just odd.

rachers, yours wins the thread.

[bittybomb]

Nov 18, 2024 12:42:17 GMT -5 rubytue said:

(( bittybomb ,)) you can have a stocking at my house 😁 Everyone gets a stocking at my house!!

Aww thanks!  And that is how I'm going to be too as my children bring partners around.

I think it upsets my poor husband more than it does me. lol

[definitelyO]

My mom had good intentions - but bought my DH his college rival's sweatshirt instead of his college.
So maybe this is his MIL story to tell

[definitelyO]

Nov 18, 2024 12:40:07 GMT -5 bittybomb said:

Nov 16, 2024 11:27:16 GMT -5 rubytue said:

ssmjlm , I know you have other issues with your MIL, but were there perhaps money issues that year? Goldfish and a board book to me say I don’t have money this year for big gifts.

My worst gift story remains the year we went to the ILs and Christmas morning there was nothing under the tree for me. And people said things like “I thought we weren’t doing adult gifts?” Well, no one told me and I had spent hours sewing hats and socks from personality picked fleece for every one. Plus also, that excuse doesn’t work when the 7 other adult all had stuff. So literally, it was just me. And I’d been know to the family for over 15 years. That was when I declared H was in charge of his own family from them on out. He doesn’t do anything for anyone. But that’s on him.

I'm celebrating 20 years married this week, and we were together 5/5 years before we got married.

I have never ever had a stocking at my in-laws.  My husband and brother in law do every year.  When we were dating, their dog had a stocking.  When we got engaged, my husband thought surely I would get one.  Nope.  When we were married he was super sure.  Still nope.  I started having children.  Each of our children has one now.  Still none for me.  They adopted two older dogs - they both have one now, too.  I'm waiting for my dog to get one because I imagine he would get one long before me.  I guess you need to be related by actual blood or be her actual dogs to earn a stocking at my in-laws.

so horrible.  I have a stocking at my MIL's house.  And my SIL stays the night with us on Christmas Eve and I have a stocking for her too!   agree - everyone gets a stocking!

[wildrice]

Nov 18, 2024 12:56:38 GMT -5 bittybomb said:

Nov 18, 2024 12:42:17 GMT -5 rubytue said:

(( bittybomb ,)) you can have a stocking at my house 😁 Everyone gets a stocking at my house!!

Aww thanks!  And that is how I'm going to be too as my children bring partners around.

I think it upsets my poor husband more than it does me. lol

Has he said anything? This would never happen in my family but I would 100% say something to my parents and tell them to either include my spouse or stop the tradition altogether if they don't want to include everyone. That's so weird and shitty.

[meanie]

I have one that at the time seemed like an epic fail but years later ended up being really sweet-

Early on in our marriage H and I participated in his family's secret Santa. My secret Santa was his uncle, who we all suspected was on the spectrum and from NH - so frugal and oblivious, lol. He gave me random stuff from his house: a picnic basket filled with a sleeve of cookies and some other things I can't remember but it was all 100% from his house. I remember being a little wtf over used stuff, especially since I had put a lot of money and effort into whatever I gave (please don't hate me I was young and stupid).

Anywhoo, said uncle has since passed and his daughter is not letting her aunts have a single thing that belonged to him unless they pay for it. My MIL just wanted a small memento of her brother and was so hurt. Well guess what had been serving as my sewing kit container? A beautiful picnic basket, which is now in her possession. I was thrilled to be able to give it to her.

[snapoutofit]

Nov 18, 2024 17:01:13 GMT -5 wildrice said:

Nov 18, 2024 12:56:38 GMT -5 bittybomb said:

Aww thanks!  And that is how I'm going to be too as my children bring partners around.

I think it upsets my poor husband more than it does me. lol

Has he said anything? This would never happen in my family but I would 100% say something to my parents and tell them to either include my spouse or stop the tradition altogether if they don't want to include everyone. That's so weird and shitty.

If I were H I’d bring one for her. Just bring a stocking stuffed with glorious gifts and make a point of hanging it right up with everyone else’s. OR hang it up secretly and watch them squirm because how absolutely shitty of them.

[rachers]

This time of year is so hard, I’m glad we can find humor in some of it.

My late MIL was the absolute best gift giver. Definitely her love language and now that we’re I guess two Christmases out, it makes me sad because my DH keeps saying “how different it feels”. Not for the gifts per say, just you felt so loved because everyone’s gifts were so personalized. Now we get gift cards and it’s just, yknow, meh.

Not that’s not okay if that’s all you can muster! But I think gift giving can almost be an art yknow?

Sorry, I’m in my feels because we started putting our tree up and I miss the good people.

(Also adjacent story, my FIL - divorced from my MIL forever now - is really into genealogy. We’ve been gifted a framed family tree and also a tapestry scroll version. Not sure where TF I display either but also my DOB is wrong on both 🤗)

[bittybomb]

Nov 18, 2024 17:01:13 GMT -5 wildrice said:

Nov 18, 2024 12:56:38 GMT -5 bittybomb said:

Aww thanks!  And that is how I'm going to be too as my children bring partners around.

I think it upsets my poor husband more than it does me. lol

Has he said anything? This would never happen in my family but I would 100% say something to my parents and tell them to either include my spouse or stop the tradition altogether if they don't want to include everyone. That's so weird and shitty.

He used to and she would always brush it off as an oversight and make it seem like I was overreacting (where I actually had no reaction at all, it was my husband reacting on my behalf). And then the next year he’d be all I know this is the year and I would think don’t hold your breath. For the sake of peace keeping I asked him not to bring it up to her anymore. She is completely toxic and plays the role of victim amazingly well. She is a master gaslighter and I have set hard boundaries with her for other reasons that my husband has supported. In fact for years I would skip her Christmas Eve and sent my husband and kids without me for dessert. It allowed me to get a ton of Santa stuff done and I actually enjoyed it. Despite all the shittiness he’s not ready to cut her out because she’s “my mother” and he can’t let go of what is expected of him as a son. The gaslighting works and makes him feel tremendously guilty. So I support him in that decision and try to talk him down when she inevitably fucks up. They moved 6 states away 2 years ago so we don’t even need to be near them for Christmas anymore. And truly there has never been any love lost between us so I actually don’t even care.

[Roc A Bee]

Nov 18, 2024 18:42:35 GMT -5 snapoutofit said:

Nov 18, 2024 17:01:13 GMT -5 wildrice said:

Has he said anything? This would never happen in my family but I would 100% say something to my parents and tell them to either include my spouse or stop the tradition altogether if they don't want to include everyone. That's so weird and shitty.

If I were H I’d bring one for her. Just bring a stocking stuffed with glorious gifts and make a point of hanging it right up with everyone else’s. OR hang it up secretly and watch them squirm because how absolutely shitty of them.

The first year my DH spent Christmas with my family, they didn’t get him anything. My DH was 40something at the time so not a kid, but I was irritated.

The next year, I asked my dad what he planned to get my DH. And I told him if he doesn’t get him something, I’ll mail something to their house and they can put their names on it. They got the damn hit.

[macmars45]

The year my now H joined our family as my fiance he got a handmade stocking made by my mom. My twin sister's BF of 7 years got a paper bag for a stocking. At the time in accordance with our Christian upbringing the slight made sense, but geez that was rude. I get not putting the work in for a handmade stocking until it's official, but a non homemade one would've been okay.

It wasn't a gift, but gifts were inside it so it's gift adjacent.

[bittybomb]

Nov 18, 2024 17:01:13 GMT -5 wildrice said:

Nov 18, 2024 12:56:38 GMT -5 bittybomb said:

Aww thanks!  And that is how I'm going to be too as my children bring partners around.

I think it upsets my poor husband more than it does me. lol

Has he said anything? This would never happen in my family but I would 100% say something to my parents and tell them to either include my spouse or stop the tradition altogether if they don't want to include everyone. That's so weird and shitty.

He has, many many years ago.  She is a queen manipulator and gaslighter and would always play the golly gee what an oversight card, and if he pushed back she would play the victim.  It really only served to upset him, and it would get us nowhere with her, so I asked him just to not bring it up anymore for the sake of peace.  For a long while and for other unrelated reasons, I removed myself from her home at all times, including Christmas, so it was a non issue.  They moved 6 states away 2 years ago, so now its almost a certainty we'll never have to deal with the issue again.  But truly, I have a tough skin, and there was never ever any love lost between us so it didn't bother me. 

She's very weird and very shitty.  My poor husband has a lot of feelings surrounding his toxic family of origin, and I just try to support him in however he wishes to handle them.

eta - I see I already responded - I thought my post was eaten last night, lol.

[stemmie]

One year my BFF, who was going through a divorce and a broke single mom at the time, gifted me a very nice LLB fleece blanket. When I opened it I noticed the corner was monogramed tone-on-tone and said "OMG you had this personalized, you shouldn't have." She blanched. It was a regift of some corporate swag associated with her team's latest drug launch. She was mortified. I refused to let her take it back and still use it in my car some 15 years later. It's a very nice blanket.

She's been promoted and doing better these days. The last few years she's gifted me homemade meals from the recipes used in her aunt's amazing restaurant. She asked me in 2020 what I wanted for Christmas and I said "dinner I didn't cook". Even better than the blanket.