Weekend randoms

[beerlover]

Aug 3, 2025 17:14:55 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

beerlover - My almost 10-year old is overwhelmed by crowds and frequently complains about leaving the house if it’s going to involve a lot of people. It’s hit or miss if he actually enjoys himself once we get there, but I’ve learned to give him an out. We are going to go try this thing and you have to give it a fair shot. If you hate it, we can come home. The other day we met up with friends at Six Flags. He went on one ride, ate a soft pretzel and an Icee, and then we came home and watched movies. H and my older kid, who loves roller coasters, stayed with our friends until the park closed.

This is typically what we do - go for a bit and if it’s not fun, leave. We went to this festival Friday downtown and he did a couple activities, got a slushee and then we grabbed dinner and left. I am not making him do something he hates for 5 hours. It’s just the amount of complaining he does in one hour is a lot 🤣

It is just hard when you watch other kids with seemingly no issues who are happy to be somewhere and yours is complaining the entire time. It really does get exhausting. 😔

[ny96]

Aug 3, 2025 20:56:04 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

Aug 3, 2025 20:00:09 GMT -5 ny96 said:

Maybe I should have given that show a fair shot. I’ve been searching for Bowl shows and can’t find anything I want to see that is semi affordable. We used to go to 6-8 shows a summer, but ticket prices and parking have risen and decreased my desire to go. H just asked if he could take DS (12) to see King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard. He took him to Phish at the Bowl in April (not a Phish fan, just finds the shows fun for some reason). DS came home talking about how everyone around them were “doing balloons”.

We are big JCS fans and have seen it live a few other times, so when I saw the ad with a few of the cast, I was sold. We got lucky the dates worked out. If you weren't big fans, it would have still been cool given the cast, but it was also expensive. We got non-scalper tickets for $84 and we were essentially as far back as you could get.

We had never been to the Bowl before, and it is such a cool venue. We are hoping to come see other shows there. What a gem. I grew up in St Louis and it reminded me a lot of The Muny.

They were running ads for a few including Jurassic Park and Sound of Music that I would totally go to if dates worked. Cyndi Lauper would also be so fun!

I looked at Jurassic Park tickets and they were over $100 for most seats. I was pushing us to get tickets for Diana Ross, but the show was right after we got back from Japan and with the brutal jet lag, in the end, I just didn’t care enough.

The Bowl is a lot of fun!

[Roc A Bee]

We have convos with the kids about essentially not everything is about you, in a nice way. And sometimes we do thinks we like to do and sometimes we do things others want to do.

I think it could be a mixture of your DS requiring more downtime than you and just being a kid and not thinking outside themselves.

[beerlover]

I swear I’m done posting after this. But, as if I wasn’t having a hard enough time mentally right now, DS apparently has impetigo. Probably from basketball camp. He is being completely ridiculous about the oral antibiotics we got today and saying they taste horrible. He insisted we mix it with milk (Blech) and then he took like an hour to drink a 5 ml dose. God help us. Maybe I’ll try a milkshake tomorrow. Wtf am I supposed to do. He’s too old to hold down & force it.

[jinkies]

beerlover by that age I poured bad tasting meds in a shot glass and basically taught them to do a shot.

It still tastes bad, but at least it's over fast. We tried to have something good tasting lined up as a chaser.

I'm sorry. I know it sucks. I hope you figure out a system that works for him soon.

[ny96]

My not so great parenting moment of the weekend was refusing to give water, even a sip, to DS when he woke up in the middle of the night and said he was thirsty and then getting into a huge argument about it. He has a bed wetting issue and it’s been particularly bad lately. I just couldn’t take another morning of washing sheets and comforters. Especially because we had an open house today.

ETA: Now I’m mother of the year because DS spilled red Gatorade all over a white rug (just as I was typing my post) and I didn’t freak out.

[Roc A Bee]

My birthday is at the end of the month. I just booked a night at my favorite hotel. I splurged (well DH) and got an ocean view patio. It’s hard for me to spend so much on one night, but it is my bday

[gretchenindisguise]

Aug 3, 2025 22:30:25 GMT -5 ny96 said:

Aug 3, 2025 20:56:04 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

We are big JCS fans and have seen it live a few other times, so when I saw the ad with a few of the cast, I was sold. We got lucky the dates worked out. If you weren't big fans, it would have still been cool given the cast, but it was also expensive. We got non-scalper tickets for $84 and we were essentially as far back as you could get.

We had never been to the Bowl before, and it is such a cool venue. We are hoping to come see other shows there. What a gem. I grew up in St Louis and it reminded me a lot of The Muny.

They were running ads for a few including Jurassic Park and Sound of Music that I would totally go to if dates worked. Cyndi Lauper would also be so fun!

I looked at Jurassic Park tickets and they were over $100 for most seats. I was pushing us to get tickets for Diana Ross, but the show was right after we got back from Japan and with the brutal jet lag, in the end, I just didn’t care enough.

The Bowl is a lot of fun!

Wait, I just looked up Jurassic Park and there are a lot of seats under $100. The section we were just in for JCS has tickets for $38 on Friday and $48 on Saturday. And up a section was still under $100.

[deadwing]

Aug 3, 2025 21:49:18 GMT -5 beerlover said:

Aug 3, 2025 15:09:25 GMT -5 deadwing said:

beerlover , I hope I'm not over stepping here. You post *alot* about your worries about your son. Some of your posts remind me of my mom's relationship with me, which.... Is not good. I haven't spoken to my mom in about 9 months. It took a very long time to reach a breaking point. From my perspective, a lot of how we got here is my mom seems unable to see me for me. She wants me to fit into some box, maybe how I was a very long time ago? If you don't want this to be your future relationship, my advice is you need to figure out how to accept your son for who he is and not who you want him to be.

And, I only had one, hoping it would be an easier road!! I'm just bummed that so many things are such a battle.

I am also an only and I definitely think that exacerbated things with my mom.  She really should have had at least two.  There is a lot of pressure being an only.

You are not a horrible parent.  You are human and therefore have flaws.  You're trying to do better and that counts.

[expectantsteelerfan]

Ugh, I'm annoyed with Amazon, and annoyed with myself for not curtailing my ordering from them more.
Back in MAY, I returned several clothing items from one order to Kohls Amazon drop off. I got confirmation of the return and they issued my refund for all items early. In June, I got an email that they didn't receive one item from the return (that cost $14.99) and to please send it by July 11 or else they'd recharge me for it. I KNOW I sent that item, and I checked the return and it was on the same barcode as 3 other items that they did receive. So I chatted with Amazon bot, and they said 'not to worry, we have received the item, you won't be charged.'
July 11 comes and I get an email that since they hadn't received my item, they were recharging me, and I had a new charge for $14.99. I tried chatting again, but kept getting a 'this issue has been resolved' response, so I called customer service. Spoke to someone who barely spoke English as she read through their script of what to do in this situation, and then she said 'they'd make a 1 time exception and refund me for the item' which was annoying because I was like, I SENT IT BACK! but I just said ok thanks, and she said I'd get the refund and a confirmation email.
Days go by, no refund, no confirmation email. At this point I disputed the charge with my cc company and got a refund from them.
Today I get an email from Amazon questioning the dispute. I'm just so annoyed and this is way too much effort to put in for $14.99, but I'm also annoyed they are making it so difficult.
Just another reason I should have really made more of an effort to stop ordering from Amazon so much.

[deadwing]

expectantsteelerfan, I had an issue like that a year or two ago. I ultimately succeeded in getting the issue taken care of and haven't received further notices of "return the item or else". It took way too much effort though, especially for a very low value item. I hope you are able to get it taken care of without surrenduring $14.99

[emilyinchile]

beerlover I don't know if you already do this, but it's also totally ok to tell your DS that you are not going to participate in the complaining anymore. Like he says "ugh, I hate this", you try to redirect or convince him otherwise or whatever, and when he keeps complaining you tell him that he can feel however he wants to feel, but you aren't going to continue to discuss this. Obviously L is younger, but this approach definitely helps save my sanity a tiny bit vs getting caught up in how annoying he's being and trying to "fix" it.

[beerlover]

Aug 3, 2025 22:57:04 GMT -5 jinkies said:

beerlover by that age I poured bad tasting meds in a shot glass and basically taught them to do a shot.

It still tastes bad, but at least it's over fast. We tried to have something good tasting lined up as a chaser.

I'm sorry. I know it sucks. I hope you figure out a system that works for him soon.

I agree with you and tried to suggest this and he just cannot get the idea through his head that temporary discomfort of taking 5 ML of this would be a lot easier/faster than mixing it with shit and taking an hour to drink it.

The pharmacist even gave us a syringe to just shoot it in his mouth like you do with babies and Tylenol lol, but he was a hard pass on that.

I'm going to get a strawberry milkshake from Sheetz this morning. Since the meds are pink, that'll hide it better, and I think the sweetness will mask it.

[beerlover]

Aug 4, 2025 7:55:48 GMT -5 emilyinchile said:

beerlover I don't know if you already do this, but it's also totally ok to tell your DS that you are not going to participate in the complaining anymore. Like he says "ugh, I hate this", you try to redirect or convince him otherwise or whatever, and when he keeps complaining you tell him that he can feel however he wants to feel, but you aren't going to continue to discuss this. Obviously L is younger, but this approach definitely helps save my sanity a tiny bit vs getting caught up in how annoying he's being and trying to "fix" it.

I know this is what I should be doing. It's just really hard for me in the moment to not want to fight back about it. Obviously why I need therapy (again) lol. 

[beerlover]

Aug 4, 2025 6:05:03 GMT -5 deadwing said:

Aug 3, 2025 21:49:18 GMT -5 beerlover said:

And, I only had one, hoping it would be an easier road!! I'm just bummed that so many things are such a battle.

I am also an only and I definitely think that exacerbated things with my mom.  She really should have had at least two.  There is a lot of pressure being an only.

You are not a horrible parent.  You are human and therefore have flaws.  You're trying to do better and that counts.

Yeah, I think some of this is related to only child stuff. It's like in my head I want this little buddy I can go and do fun things with and make memories, and then he acts salty and unappeciative when we do that and I'm disappointed.

I should be clear that he is not like this all the time. He was great on vacation overall. We've had some great days this summer at the pool and on our boat, playing and laughing and relaxing/reading and he hasn't whined at all. Maybe a lot of it it really is just a crowd-hating thing and I need to look at that more closely. 

[klee23]

Aug 4, 2025 8:25:12 GMT -5 beerlover said:

Aug 4, 2025 6:05:03 GMT -5 deadwing said:

I am also an only and I definitely think that exacerbated things with my mom.  She really should have had at least two.  There is a lot of pressure being an only.

You are not a horrible parent.  You are human and therefore have flaws.  You're trying to do better and that counts.

Yeah, I think some of this is related to only child stuff. It's like in my head I want this little buddy I can go and do fun things with and make memories, and then he acts salty and unappeciative when we do that and I'm disappointed.

I should be clear that he is not like this all the time. He was great on vacation overall. We've had some great days this summer at the pool and on our boat, playing and laughing and relaxing/reading and he hasn't whined at all. Maybe a lot of it it really is just a crowd-hating thing and I need to look at that more closely. 

I know you talked this to death already but I do feel like this with my oldest (same grade as your son I believe). Like I make plans I think he will love and his moodiness just shits all over it and I ask myself why I bothered/spent the money/ etc. So I think part is definitely the age.

I also could relate to PP saying she felt like her child thought she viewed them negatively and I felt that, hard. I don't view him negatively but I need to reframe my impatience or POV to be kinder to my child, that I love, because I am so burnt out all the time.

It's hard.

[tacokick]

Aug 4, 2025 8:25:12 GMT -5 beerlover said:

Aug 4, 2025 6:05:03 GMT -5 deadwing said:

I am also an only and I definitely think that exacerbated things with my mom.  She really should have had at least two.  There is a lot of pressure being an only.

You are not a horrible parent.  You are human and therefore have flaws.  You're trying to do better and that counts.

I should be clear that he is not like this all the time. He was great on vacation overall. We've had some great days this summer at the pool and on our boat, playing and laughing and relaxing/reading and he hasn't whined at all. Maybe a lot of it it really is just a crowd-hating thing and I need to look at that more closely. 

This is what I wonder! I don’t know you guys but in your posts he does seem peppier at home or with fewer people. I had got the feeling about the sports too—like he enjoyed the actual playing but didn’t love the team aspect maybe? That’s what was sticking in my mind anyway. Worthing keeping an eye out.

[beerlover]

tacokick, he does okay 1:1 with friends or his cousin. Some typical young boy arguing but I think age appropriate stuff.

He is GOOD at basketball and that is the one he wants to play the most but yea, does struggle with some of the team aspects. Gets mad when someone's a ball hog or fouls. Complains a lot. Sometimes gets upset if someone else is scoring more points than him. He is very competitive with his friends. He's young though and I think can be coached on these things.

He's very chatty with other adults that he knows well (like our friends) and loves telling them fun facts he's learned or whatever. It's just when we get in a crowd and an acquaintance says hello to him, he comes off as SO grumpy/rude. And then certain people love saying "oh, someone's not in a good mood" or something like that and it feels embarrassing. I KNOW I just need to not give a shit about this but its so hard for me.

[tacokick]

Aug 4, 2025 13:19:53 GMT -5 beerlover said:

tacokick, he does okay 1:1 with friends or his cousin. Some typical young boy arguing but I think age appropriate stuff.

He is GOOD at basketball and that is the one he wants to play the most but yea, does struggle with some of the team aspects. Gets mad when someone's a ball hog or fouls. Complains a lot. Sometimes gets upset if someone else is scoring more points than him. He is very competitive with his friends. He's young though and I think can be coached on these things.

He's very chatty with other adults that he knows well (like our friends) and loves telling them fun facts he's learned or whatever. It's just when we get in a crowd and an acquaintance says hello to him, he comes off as SO grumpy/rude. And then certain people love saying "oh, someone's not in a good mood" or something like that and it feels embarrassing. I KNOW I just need to not give a shit about this but its so hard for me.

I think being aware of things and trying to think of ways to improve the situations/reactions is way ahead of where a lot of people would be.


And I’d be annoyed at someone making a comment about a kid (or anyone’s) mood! What’s the point of the commentary? Imo that’s more about them than your kid.

[eb777888]

Aug 3, 2025 22:33:25 GMT -5 Roc A Bee said:

We have convos with the kids about essentially not everything is about you, in a nice way. And sometimes we do thinks we like to do and sometimes we do things others want to do.

I think it could be a mixture of your DS requiring more downtime than you and just being a kid and not thinking outside themselves.

This is so true! I remember the years of "there's three people in this family, David." During these times I did try to engage David and get him to have fun, but the times when he was resigned to be grumpy, I'd leave him alone- for him but also for myself and my own sanity. He can be in a bad mood but I'm going about my day as usual. Even in the teenage years when they themselves don't even know why they're grumpy, I just take a step back and give him some space and leave him alone and engage when I feel the opportunity is right. 

[krystee]

Aug 3, 2025 13:08:32 GMT -5 blondemoment123 said:

krystee How is your DH doing?

Thanks for asking! This week he has started to see flashes of light, which is apparently a sign of vision starting to heal. He also seems more like himself than he has, and while memory is still terrible, he is getting noticeably more memories each day. He gets out of acute rehab on Monday and goes to a residential rehab specifically for TBI patients. We don’t love the facility so we’re going to try to keep up 24-hour care between us and caregivers. We have an appointment with the top neuro-ophthalmologist in early September, and a neurosurgery follow up next Tuesday. I am beyond exhausted.

It is crazy amazing how powerful music is. He remembers every word of most songs he knew, along with the artists. His memory for music is far and away better than it is for anything else. Tonight he was listening to an old song he loved and he teared up and said, “I’d give anything to go back to normal life with my girl, just like we were before.” So hopefully that means he is remembering our old life more and more.

[cheekywife]

so many hugs and good thoughts, krystee.

[campermom]

Aug 2, 2025 11:13:18 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

How did super independent women ever be super independent before YouTube? I’ve used it to fix two things in the last 24 hours. Most recently my bathroom sink, which was backing up when I ran the water. I had never removed a stopper before so I looked that up, it was easy enough to unscrew the thing under the sink and remove it. It was covered in hair and gunk so I cleaned it off, then used a paper towel to grab more stuff I could see in the drain. What came out might be the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. 🤮 I shit you not, about an 8 inch long drain-shaped tube of grey gunk just slid up out of there when I pulled. It was so repulsive that I had to call DD in to see it and she gagged. Hope no one is eating while reading this! If you are, sorry!

This is one of my first empowered tasks. I brought my daughter in to experience it and she recorded it bc we were proud of us and I gagged and she was like “she turned on da fan!” It was hilarious and disturbing

[rachers]

Chocolate syrup helps with nasty meds - have a spoonful ready right after!

Our DD is an only too and she can get grumpy in social situations. We were at a baseball game the other night and she pouted because some of the other kids took off and she “felt left out” even though I was watching and she totally wasn’t.

Sometimes she just needs a minute to pout and words of affirmation (lol) and then she usually gets right back to it.

But also wtf to adults pointing that out. I’m not “my kid is a SS” but that would annoy me and just set off a whole other set of hurt feelings.

[honeydew1894]

Aug 3, 2025 22:24:15 GMT -5 beerlover said:

It is just hard when you watch other kids with seemingly no issues who are happy to be somewhere and yours is complaining the entire time. It really does get exhausting. 😔

I feel this in my bones. DD is like this--actually she is a lot like what you've posted about your son. She has bad anxiety and ADHD, and we are having her re-evaluated to see if something more is going on. 

I 100% understand the "why can't we just have a nice time for once?" feeling.