E-ring upgrade/reset

[mofongo]

Aug 11, 2025 5:34:48 GMT -5 jobae1234 said:

Just to clear my name since some are kind of calling me a princess, I can get a 2.5 carat lab diamond bezel set from Etsy for $1300. Getting my ring reset will cost at least $500. Probably more.

This price is not consistent with what lab diamonds are at jewelers. Id want to make sure I was getting something good quality. If you're set on this I'd go to a local jeweler. I have lab grown earrings, 2ct total and they were closer to 5k.

[wildrice]

Aug 11, 2025 8:18:51 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Aug 11, 2025 5:34:48 GMT -5 jobae1234 said:

Just to clear my name since some are kind of calling me a princess, I can get a 2.5 carat lab diamond bezel set from Etsy for $1300. Getting my ring reset will cost at least $500. Probably more.

This price is not consistent with what lab diamonds are at jewelers. Id want to make sure I was getting something good quality. If you're set on this I'd go to a local jeweler. I have lab grown earrings, 2ct total and they were closer to 5k.

Yeah I am not an expert but I think people are confusing different types of lab created diamonds. There are truly lab diamonds which are more expensive, maybe cheaper than natural diamonds but still expensive. Then there are other stones that don't look any different from diamonds to the naked eye - things like cubic zirconia or moissanite that are a lot cheaper. But those are not "diamonds".

I personally don't care about diamonds at all, but I don't think I'd go from a real 1.25 carat diamond to a cheap stone. I don't believe the cheap stones are as durable and you may be disappointed at how much it sparkles if you are used to a real diamond on your finger.

I have a cubic zirconia and I have worn it for 9 years with no issues, for the record, so I don't think a cheaper stone necessarily means it's going to fall apart! But I also don't expect it to last the rest of my life. I think we paid around $500-600 for it so I went into it with the expectation that it probably wouldn't be forever. I guess if you are ok with replacing it every 10 years or so, a cheap ring could be worth it. But still, I think if we had paid diamond prices for an original ring I personally wouldn't want to move to a lower quality stone. 

[macmars45]

My ring fell off while running errands all around town 8 years ago. I replaced it with a simple gold band from a jewelry store's estate section (people sell their old rings to the store). No regrets. The family ring I wear on my right hand cost more than my wedding band. My point is, no one cares how big your ring looks except you so if you like a different setting, go for it.

[tiki]

Aug 11, 2025 8:36:34 GMT -5 wildrice said:

I don't believe the cheap stones are as durable and you may be disappointed at how much it sparkles if you are used to a real diamond on your finger.

Fortunately stone hardness is measurable. Diamond is certainly the hardest - the Mohs scale is logarithmic, so a 10 is about 4 times harder than a 9, but any of these stones are usually fine for daily wear for a very long time:

10 - Diamond (any diamond, whether natural or lab-grown)
9.25 - Moissanite
9 - Sapphire / Corundum
8.0-8.5 - Cubic Zicronia, Topaz

The main downside of moissanite is a slight yellow or greenish tint in certain lighting, while relative softness is the main downside of CZ. I don't have the refractive index numbers for the various stones handy, but Moissanite is actually higher (i.e. "more sparkly") than diamond. I personally don't notice much difference in sparklyness between the moisannite vs diamond stones I own, but I do see the slight color in the moissanite.

[Susie]

I can't relate to being "afraid" of how small 1.25 carat will look.  That is objectively a normal to larger size engagement ring stone.  It will be the same size it always was, so what is the real fear?  That it won't look impressive to your friends who have 3-4 carat rings?

Comparison is the thief of joy.  Who cares what they wear, or what they think of your ring?  If you know what you want, and it sounds like you do, get it reset in a way that makes you happy and stop worrying about how it stacks up in your social circle.  And maybe branch out your social circle!

[mofongo]

Aug 11, 2025 8:59:30 GMT -5 Susie said:

I can't relate to being "afraid" of how small 1.25 carat will look.  That is objectively a normal to larger size engagement ring stone.  It will be the same size it always was, so what is the real fear?  That it won't look impressive to your friends who have 3-4 carat rings?

Comparison is the thief of joy.  Who cares what they wear, or what they think of your ring?  If you know what you want, and it sounds like you do, get it reset in a way that makes you happy and stop worrying about how it stacks up in your social circle.  And maybe branch out your social circle!

Especially if these people are just getting engaged!

[jane6672]

Aug 11, 2025 8:15:36 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Aug 11, 2025 7:06:37 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

Just to reinforce my point, I got my 2 carat lab diamond from AliExpress for under $50.  I got a matching band for $15.  These are what I wear in the summer at the pool/beach and when traveling, and when they get tarnished beyond looking nice from sunscreen and water, then I will probably get something different.

But I am not sentimental about my rings (developed a gold allergy so my current 'real' set is not even my original set), and I've found I actually really like having choices of what to wear and not wearing the same thing every single day.  My 'real' set was an antique that failed and needed to be rebuilt, so I first ordered a lab created ring in a different style to see if I would like wearing that different style, which I think is a good idea for you since it sounds like you want this to be your last change.  

That can't be real!? Lab grown diamonds, while cheaper, are not THAT much cheaper!! Isn't aliexpress like a temu/shein?

Yes

[cville]

I'm not calling anyone in here a princess. Do what you want.

Just pointing out that in a country where the average size is about 1 carat, and we know folks are buying honking 4 carat rings so that means lots of .5 and under, 1.25 is objectively not small.

If it's the smallest in your friend group (mine is in mine), that'll either bug you or it won't. It doesn't bug me, but I'm not you.

[Queen Dick of Adminlandia]

Fuck's sake.

[Queen Dick of Adminlandia]

The only thing you're getting for under 50 bucks is 2 lbs of actual carrots.

[Susie]

Aug 10, 2025 16:06:54 GMT -5 circa1978 said:

I went the other way and switched to a plain gold band 14 years ago. I love it. I never worry about losing it, I don't have to take it off for anything, I think it looks classy. I assume people aren't judging me for not having a massive rock but if they are, I truly, deeply give no fucks.

I'm headed this direction too.  Just on Friday, I took my mom's thin, stone-free yellow gold band from 1978 to the jeweler to have it resized so I can wear it in place of my own rings.  

[mofongo]

Aug 11, 2025 10:00:03 GMT -5 Queen Dick of Adminlandia said:

The only thing you're getting for under 50 bucks is 2 lbs of actual carrots.

LOL

[expectantsteelerfan]

I apologize, my ring is actually moissanite, not lab grown. But it is GRA rated with a lifetime guarantee, and for my purposes (of determining if I'd like a bezel setting and to wear something I feel comfortable with when traveling), I am quite happy with it. And yes, AliExpress is like Temu in that it is coming from overseas, but I've been happy with the few things I've ordered from there.

[expectantsteelerfan]

And just for fun, one of these bands is platinum and real diamonds, the other is sterling silver and cubic circonia.  And I think the 'fake' one looks nicer (and I cleaned the platinum one before taking this pic, too)

[Vespasia]

Aug 11, 2025 8:15:36 GMT -5 mofongo said:

That can't be real!? Lab grown diamonds, while cheaper, are not THAT much cheaper!! Isn't aliexpress like a temu/shein?

The lab is probably staffed by small children.

[wanderingback]

Aug 11, 2025 11:02:05 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

View AttachmentI apologize, my ring is actually moissanite, not lab grown. But it is GRA rated with a lifetime guarantee, and for my purposes (of determining if I'd like a bezel setting and to wear something I feel comfortable with when traveling), I am quite happy with it. And yes, AliExpress is like Temu in that it is coming from overseas, but I've been happy with the few things I've ordered from there.

To clarify, it’s not just that the items "come from overseas," it’s that there is a reason their items are so cheap…they have many ethical issues including child labor concerns, unethical work place concerns, trademark concerns and piracy.

[jobae1234]

I think the biggest things I learned today, and it’s actually what I sought to learn, are that 1) people here don’t really plan to upgrade their stone, and 2) the trend of very large cheap stones is not everywhere the way it seems to be around me.

I know 1.25 isn’t small, btw. It was more about removing a halo and comparison within myself, from the old one to the new one. I don’t care what other people think.

[HorseGirl]

Aug 11, 2025 10:00:03 GMT -5 Queen Dick of Adminlandia said:

The only thing you're getting for under 50 bucks is 2 lbs of actual carrots.

5 pounds of carrots is under $6 at Costco. 2 pounds of carrots is about $1.59 at Aldi. 

The horse eats a lot of carrots, ok??? I know what price I pay...

[starburst604]

I understand what you're getting at. If you've been looking at that ring for years with the halo, the perimeter will look different /smaller to your eye when it no longer has a halo around it, and I think that would be true no matter what size the diamond was. However, if you really love the new style, you're going to quickly forget how it looked before and will instead admire the new look. I think the easiest thing would be to go try on what you're thinking of getting and see how you feel about it.

[mofongo]

Aug 11, 2025 13:22:44 GMT -5 jobae1234 said:

I think the biggest things I learned today, and it’s actually what I sought to learn, are that 1) people here don’t really plan to upgrade their stone, and 2) the trend of very large cheap stones is not everywhere the way it seems to be around me.

I know 1.25 isn’t small, btw. It was more about removing a halo and comparison within myself, from the old one to the new one. I don’t care what other people think.

I don't think you'll regret not getting a big, cheap stone. Maybe find a fun costume ring for your other hand.

[jobae1234]

Aug 11, 2025 15:49:47 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

I understand what you're getting at. If you've been looking at that ring for years with the halo, the perimeter will look different /smaller to your eye when it no longer has a halo around it, and I think that would be true no matter what size the diamond was. However, if you really love the new style, you're going to quickly forget how it looked before and will instead admire the new look. I think the easiest thing would be to go try on what you're thinking of getting and see how you feel about it.

Right, like… will it be underwhelming to my eye? But I think you’re right and as long as I pick a design I love, it will work out.

[aspentosh]

You've gotten a lot of answers, but I have been toying with something similar for years.

The ring that H proposed with is gorgeous and I love it, but it's platinum (super soft) and an eternity band, so it keeps getting misshapen. I have repaired it multiple times and the metal keeps cracking under the stone. I haven't worn it in years because I don't want to lose the stone (1 ct) or break it beyond repair. I don't know if I'll just move that stone to a new, white gold eternity band or if I'll upgrade to a lab grown diamond. H threw out getting a bigger ring because the fake one I bought to wear in the meantime is 2 ct and he likes how it looks, as do I. But the diamond and ring he proposed with MEAN SOMETHING to me, so I keep dragging my feet.

If I do upgrade, I'll keep that 1 ct diamond and do something with it- maybe a necklace for myself, or something for DD to have as she gets older.

[HorseGirl]

One thing that hasn't been mentioned is what does "reset" mean? Does it mean buying an off the shelf setting and having the diamond put into it? Or is it having a custom setting made by a local master jeweler? I've had 3 of the latter done. Expect to pay at least $1000, which includes the design--and $1000 was about 9 years ago. If you want to add more diamonds or fancy things, the cost goes up with increased labor. Some jewelers will let you trade the gold for the going price and put it towards the new setting.

[SusanBAnthony]

I replaced my .75 carat original ring with a 3 carat lab grown diamond that coat about half what my original one did 😭. For reference the diamond was about 690$ and the gold for the new ring cost much more!

I love the new one. My style changed. I had stopped wearing my original one because it just wasn't me anymore.

I vote go wild and do what you want! Whatever that is

[jobae1234]

Aug 11, 2025 18:27:23 GMT -5 HorseGirl said:

One thing that hasn't been mentioned is what does "reset" mean? Does it mean buying an off the shelf setting and having the diamond put into it? Or is it having a custom setting made by a local master jeweler? I've had 3 of the latter done. Expect to pay at least $1000, which includes the design--and $1000 was about 9 years ago. If you want to add more diamonds or fancy things, the cost goes up with increased labor. Some jewelers will let you trade the gold for the going price and put it towards the new setting.

Yeah I’m prepared to spend that much, which is why I don’t think it’s crazy to consider just getting a bigger ring, since stones are so much cheaper than they used to be.

[tiki]

Aug 11, 2025 18:02:33 GMT -5 aspentosh said:

The ring that H proposed with is gorgeous and I love it, but it's platinum (super soft) and an eternity band, so it keeps getting misshapen.

This is the one reason I might consider buying an entirely new ring - it's not the stone or the setting, it's the metal. My engagement ring is platinum and my wedding band is white gold, but both have fine details that are visibly wearing down in certain spots. When I switched to mostly remote work I stopped wearing them except for special occasions in the hopes that they will look nice for longer. Sometimes I do wish I had something I cared less about to wear instead. 

[sunshineandpinot]

I'll likely upgrade for our 25th anniversary and it will be with a lab diamond. I haven't given any thoughts to carats; dh wants a bigger stone. So it will be bigger than what I have but nothing crazy. I haven't thought about what metal or setting I would go with. Do what makes you happy!! Jewelry is so fun!

[HorseGirl]

Aug 12, 2025 11:31:54 GMT -5 tiki said:

Aug 11, 2025 18:02:33 GMT -5 aspentosh said:

The ring that H proposed with is gorgeous and I love it, but it's platinum (super soft) and an eternity band, so it keeps getting misshapen.

This is the one reason I might consider buying an entirely new ring - it's not the stone or the setting, it's the metal. My engagement ring is platinum and my wedding band is white gold, but both have fine details that are visibly wearing down in certain spots. When I switched to mostly remote work I stopped wearing them except for special occasions in the hopes that they will look nice for longer. Sometimes I do wish I had something I cared less about to wear instead. 

You can have white gold replated. It makes it look brand new. I don't know the cost-the jeweler that I bought my rings from does it for free. I do it about once/year on my frequently worn rings. 

[mofongo]

Aug 12, 2025 14:53:21 GMT -5 HorseGirl said:

Aug 12, 2025 11:31:54 GMT -5 tiki said:

This is the one reason I might consider buying an entirely new ring - it's not the stone or the setting, it's the metal. My engagement ring is platinum and my wedding band is white gold, but both have fine details that are visibly wearing down in certain spots. When I switched to mostly remote work I stopped wearing them except for special occasions in the hopes that they will look nice for longer. Sometimes I do wish I had something I cared less about to wear instead. 

You can have white gold replated. It makes it look brand new. I don't know the cost-the jeweler that I bought my rings from does it for free. I do it about once/year on my frequently worn rings. 

Rhodium plating, I just had mine done for the first time since right before my wedding! So 17+yrs, it was $120.

[orangello]

When’s the right time in this thread to ask for pictures? Big, small…I love them all.

(I do not have a photo of mine on my phone and am not currently wearing them so I suck, sorry!)