I miss you

[jessuhmarie]

I'm on a short trip back home for a wedding. Please listen to this awful and tacky situation.
A couple I know had a small wedding in October that we attended. There was a cake, first dance, dress, wedding registry, the whole getup. About two months ago, her husband asked mine to be a Groomsman in the "big wedding in may." Since that day, I have had a bad taste in my mouth about all of the tackiness of having two weddings to the same person. If you wanted a big wedding or some family/friends couldn't attend a wedding, then why in hell wouldnt you just wait 6 months for the "big" wedding?! I side eye the lack of tact in a court wedding with a "big wedding" to follow, but this is extra..

Today, I attended another wedding for the same couple with as many in the bridal party as there were guests with the white dress and cake and the whole deal. Whyyyyy have wedding #2 within a year?! There were about 40-50 people at BOTH weddings. Most of the same people as the first. Cash bar... Wedding registry again... Wedding party didn't receive invites.. gah!

And, no, I did not give them ANOTHER gift even though I know she reregistered BC she said so on fb...

[jessuhmarie]

And I only attended the wedding bc it was back home so I could see family and my husband was a Groomsman

[Shayliz]

wth? that is odd.

[winecheery]

I don't really understand...it sounds like she didn't have anyone close to her tell her this was stupid/tacky. Or else she did not listen...

[raeyn]

That does seem strange.

DH's friend recently got married in CT and is planning a big reception in the fall in FL, where they live. We figured it made sense if they were just having the legal ceremony with close family in CT, so we weren't too surprised that we didn't get invited. But then they posted all their photos on Facebook and it looks like they had about 50 people and it was a whole weekend-long event with several formal dinners. The photos clearly show that it was not just family.

We sent a gift prior to their wedding (before we knew there was going to be a reception in the fall), but now that we've received a quasi-invitation to the reception I feel like we're expected to give another gift. I'm not really sure what the protocol is for that.

[laylarue]

That is too much. One wedding is enough trouble for everyone involved. I wonder if they are AWs and couldn't stand having only one event where they are the main attraction. I don't blame you for not getting a gift!

[crimsonandclover]

Wow... We actually had 3 weddings, but there were circumstances that justified it (IMO :-) ). DH is German and we usually live in Germany, where a civil ceremony before a JoP is required before a church ceremony. So we did the JoP ceremony with only his parents and brothers and 2 friends for each of us came along. There was lunch at a restaurant afterwards and that was it. The "big" church wedding and reception was in Germany with our friends and family who live in Europe plus my parents and brother flew over from the States. 2 weeks later, we had a "blessing ceremony" with a low-key reception in the US at a lakeside cabin for our friends and family in the US plus his parents and brothers flew over. So basically, except for our close family, everyone only attended one of our parties, and I certainly would NEVER have expected them to get us gifts for both of them!!

I know some people would disagree, but I think multiple ceremonies are acceptable when families live very far apart and if there is an understanding that no one needs to buy more than one gift, even if they choose to attend both. Having essentially the same people at 2 weddings, though? I don't get it. And expecting friends to buy gifts for both? Absolutely unacceptable.

[kmac]

Having two weddings with the exact same # of people at both is odd! What would really irk me though is the fact that she registered again and made a point of advertising that on FB. I'm glad you didn't buy her two gifts!

[sarack]

Wow... how did they manage to get people to come again and buy them gifts? Crazy!

[emisi]

Wow, that sounds really gift-grabby. If it was two separate groups of people it would be a little more understandable, but with the same people? Yeaaaaah, tacky.

[weansworld09]

May 20, 2012 18:11:52 GMT -5 emisi said:

Wow, that sounds really gift-grabby. If it was two separate groups of people it would be a little more understandable, but with the same people? Yeaaaaah, tacky.

This. Good for your for not getting her a second gift! I would have been super annoyed

[ghostmonkey]

My brother and his second wife got "remarried" every year (she had issues remembering her vows apparently). Never did they register again, or even have attendants. WTF?