Your H's reaction to TTC?

[horseoutside]

My H is a pretty stoic guy and he tends to not be very overtly emotional about anything...which is good because I'm a bit mental in general and he is very much a calming force in my life.

When we started discussing TTC, he was all, "Oh, I just want to let it take it's own course, be relaxed etc." which I agreed to, while secretly starting to chart, read all about TTC and pregnancy, generally let my must-know-everything personality take over.

We just started trying last month and cycle 1 was a no-go which was fine because it was only the first month. This morning he asked me, all nonchalant, "so, when are you ovulating next?"

:heart:

Just curious what other peoples' H's have been like through this process?

[TrickyBob]

I desperately want children, always have. So when my Husband got really excited and all about it, I was surprised. He loves kid but I never expected him to be excited about it. lol.

He's sat through the great sperm race and he's read some of What to Expect when TTC; mainly the Father chapters.

[HoneySpider]

In general I was ready to start TTC a little bit earlier than DH, but I knew I had to wait and give him his time until he was ready (we're talking a few months, nothing crazy). Anyway, he definitely didn't like the idea of temping, charting, etc and so the first few months we did the casual approach - just go for it and if it happens, it happens.

After a few months of it not happening, I started charting, temping, OPKs. His mindset is pretty much "you do what you've got to do, let me know when the timing is right." I think it works for us - I get a little crazy abut all the stuff but luckily I have GBCN as an outlet because he really doesn't want to know all the details. He's on board with trying stuff - we started pre-seed and maca root last cycle.

I know he wants this to happen just as much as I do, he's just not as obsessed/talkative about it (since he is, after all, a guy)

[berbles]

Oct 8, 2012 12:48:21 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

His mindset is pretty much "you do what you've got to do, let me know when the timing is right." I think it works for us - I get a little crazy abut all the stuff but luckily I have GBCN as an outlet because he really doesn't want to know all the details.

This is pretty much my H.

With all the health stuff I've been going through, I kind of wish he was a little more interested, but he's just not. I might as well be speaking Chinese if I try talking to him about medical stuff.

I don't think he's really letting it sink in that we might not be able to have children naturally. He's ok with me having surgeries to help my endo, but so far he's not interested in IVF. Which is fine, because we can't afford it anyway.

[Deleted]

I'm just waiting to get my health in order and for H to say hes' ready.

[ladygrey]

He's been really excited and supportive. I think having a m/c (while welcome, it was a bit of a surprise) made us both realize that we're really ready to take the next step in our lives. He's been a lot more willing to talk about our future children in concrete terms since we've actively decided to TTC.

[thoseareradishes]

He's quite funny about it. He asks when my good weeks and bad weeks are, as he calls them, and tries to plan travel accordingly (although that's pretty much impossible). I try not to tell him too much about my chart but he asks. He wants me to relax more about it, saying it will happen and not to worry, but it is hard. I finally admitted to him that I was in a bad mood last Saturday because my test was negative. I think he really hates seeing how upset this all makes me, since he seems to have no doubts that it will happen.

[Deleted]

Oct 8, 2012 13:42:48 GMT -5 skippingstones said:

I'm just waiting to get my health in order and for H to say hes' ready.

This is where we're at.

H isn't quite there yet either...but it's more because he wants to have a steady job with benefits so we have the option of me staying home if we can swing it.

eta: he does want kids and knows that I want kids like...yesterday.

[winecheery]

Oct 8, 2012 15:09:41 GMT -5 thoseareradishes said:

I try not to tell him too much about my chart but he asks. He wants me to relax more about it, saying it will happen and not to worry, but it is hard. I finally admitted to him that I was in a bad mood last Saturday because my test was negative. I think he really hates seeing how upset this all makes me, since he seems to have no doubts that it will happen.

I could have written the bolded. Mine is exactly the same.

[berbles]

Confession: you missed it. Sorreh.

[HoneySpider]

berbles I'm sorry, that sucks. What does he say when you tell him it's time and you need to do it EOD and therefore he shouldn't drink?

[berbles]

He says YAY LOTS OF SEX!! But then he forgets my rule (or thinks I will change my mind) about no drinking and sexing. Seriously, even if he limits himself to 2 beers, it will take him 45 minutes to finish and I can't handle it. 30 mins of sex after I finish is REALLY uncomfortable.

[FastHands]

DH is excited about being a dad, but he is much more...conservative?...in terms of how long it will take. Like, I think he will be truly shocked if it's less than 6 months. He knows I got disappointed after the negative pg test, and he is worried abt how I will handle it month after month. I know there's truth to what he is saying, but I don't know how to NOT be optimistic. It's who I am. That said, he thinks the science behind the planning is neat.

[HoneySpider]

Hmm. Can you work in morning sex or do it before he starts drinking?

Sometimes we have the problem of we know we're going to be tired by the end of the night or drunk if it's a night with heavier drinking, so we'll try to do it right after work or whatever. I hate planning it like that though.

[berbles]

It's tough for us because we also have a roommate. So we can't always just have random afternoon sex (on the weekends) and he starts work at 7am, so morning sex isn't happening. lol

[HoneySpider]

Gotcha. Well, roommate or no roommate, you gotta do what you gotta do I mean I am assuming you and YH have your own bedroom?

[horseoutside]

Berbles I hate that. My H used to drink/drinks like that when he's really stressed with work. Not as much now as when he was younger but it still irritates me when it happens.

[berbles]

LOL! Yes, we definitely have our own bedroom! We have a 4 bedroom house; hence the roommate! Shit is expensive here, yo!

Yeah, my H is 31 but he thinks/acts like he's 22 most of the time. It's actually really annoying.

[HoneySpider]

Oh well then I'm sure you can find some space in that big ass house of yours to DTD! Who cares if your roommate hears anyway, this is serious business.

[berbles]

LOL! Roommate doesn't even know that we're TTC.

[tarheels]

DH is psyched. He was ready when we got married six years ago (age 25). For a while, I wasn't even sure if I ever wanted children and he's never pressured me once. Now that we're actively TTC, he's trying not to be too excited in case there are problems, but he's really, really excited. Friends of ours have little kids and he loves going over to their house to play with the kids. He thinks the science behind TCOYF is really cool and was kind of indignant (like I was) that women aren't taught those principles. He's always up for discussing my chart and what X symptom might mean, etc. He's pretty wonderful about all this :heart:

[sunflower22]

My H is wonderful and mainly just worries about me (since I have fertility issues), he wants a baby but he really wants me healthy and happy. It's crazy, we've been together for 11 years (married 6) and this last year of TTC has shown me sides of him that I had never seen before. I knew he's sweet but he's really gone above and beyond.

[SallySparrow]

DH is really relaxed about it. Honestly, I didn't think he was that excited because he's just so laid back about everything, but he e-mailed me the other day with a cute way to "announce" once I am pregnant, so that was adorable.