I'm in a really bad place right now.

[naeljun]

I feel so overwhelmed with everything. I just want to cry. In fact, I can't seem to hold the tears back. I am sitting her with them in my eyes and I really don't know why.

I feel like the worst mother in the world. I'm completely stressed with life. Work is getting to me....not my job, I love that....but who I work for. Drives me crazy.

I've been thinking a lot about the little girl I lost and it is really wearing on me as well.

I can't get out of this funk.

I'm lonely. I know I don't need a guy to complete me but a date every once in while may be nice. I've been single for over 4 yrs and have been asked out twice. Even the guy who asked me for coffee fell off the face of the earth.

I'm never like this. I'm always the positive upbeat one. I feel like crawling into a hole and just dying.

[doriswe]

((hugs)) I think we all feel like this at one time or another. Are there things you can put on the backburner for a while? You are a beautiful person and a fabulous mother, even if you don't feel like it right now.

Are you in counseling?

[heavenly]

((Hugs)) I think we all get that way every once in a while. Hang in there, this too shall pass.

[achase123]

One of the most important lessons that I'm STILL learning is that everyone deserves a bad day. Shoot, I know when I was married I had PLENTY of them, and never felt bad about it.

For some reason when we're single, especially single moms, we think we're superwomen. We can do everything and are ALWAYS supposed to paste a smile on our face, be strong for our kids, never be irrational, never admit that we're so damn lonely we can't stand it, etc.

This mentality isn't realistic and it isn't healthy. At some point in time we all need a break. We all feel like cracking.

You just need a little time for yourself. Can you get a massage or have a nice dinner with a friend? I think, in time, it will pass but it's 1000% ok to feel the way you do.

[bullygirl979]

Awww....big huge bear hugs!!

I am sorry you are feeling in a funk. We have all been there at one point or another. The important thing is that you recognize that it will get better with time.

What about doing something nice for youself? A pedicure, massage, buying a new book....

And naeljun, I know that you know a man won't complete you. I get how you are feeling. You don't NEED a man, but it is nice to feel desired and like you "got it". Are you doing online dating (sorry, I can't remember)?

As for feeling lonely, what about joining a meetup group or taking a class?

[doriswe]

Oct 12, 2012 9:39:39 GMT -5 achase123 said:

For some reason when we're single, especially single moms, we think we're superwomen. We can do everything and are ALWAYS supposed to paste a smile on our face, be strong for our kids, never be irrational, never admit that we're so damn lonely we can't stand it, etc.

This mentality isn't realistic and it isn't healthy. At some point in time we all need a break. We all feel like cracking.

Yes, yes, yes!! All of this!!

[Bernadine]

Like others said, it's ok and totally normal to feel this way. Make sure you're taking care of yourself, and if you notice you're starting to feel like that all the time, get some help.

((hugs))

[incognitotoday]

Oct 12, 2012 9:39:39 GMT -5 achase123 said:

One of the most important lessons that I'm STILL learning is that everyone deserves a bad day. Shoot, I know when I was married I had PLENTY of them, and never felt bad about it.

AChase, this is so dead on and I keep reading it b/c I felt the same way!

I always get down on myself when I have a "bad" day, and never once did I realize how MANY bad days I did have and not think twice of them!

OP, I am sorry you are having a crappy day! You are an amazing mother. I agree with AChase, maybe take some "me" time to "freshen" up and enjoy some simple things.

Thankfully, it is the weekend, and the stress from your job is "hopefully" on hold for two days!

[Deleted]

Crying is a totally acceptable way to relieve stress.

[naeljun]

Oct 12, 2012 9:40:03 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Awww....big huge bear hugs!!

I am sorry you are feeling in a funk. We have all been there at one point or another. The important thing is that you recognize that it will get better with time.

What about doing something nice for youself? A pedicure, massage, buying a new book....

And naeljun, I know that you know a man won't complete you. I get how you are feeling. You don't NEED a man, but it is nice to feel desired and like you "got it". Are you doing online dating (sorry, I can't remember)?

As for feeling lonely, what about joining a meetup group or taking a class?

I actually take classes online to finish my bachelor's so that takes up a lot of my time too. I belong to a couple of meetups and go out when I can. I am on POF but nothing ever comes of it and I don't bother reaching out to anyone on there because I never get a response and it just depresses me more.

DD has been with her dad all week and I did nothing. She came home last night and all I did was yell at her. I have no idea why. I am not in therapy. I can't really afford anything extra right now and I used all my free sessions for work. I will start again in the new year.

I have a few things going on healthwise and that is costing me quite a bit in copayments not to mention a tooth that cracked that is costing me about 1200 to fix even with dental coverage. DD is in therapy so I have to pay for her copayments now. I can't afford mine too.

[gozf]

I'm so sorry you're having a bad day. Can you do something nice for yourself this weekend? You deserve it.

[doriswe]

I've lost my shit on my kids before for no real reason, or at least one that I can't remember shortly there after. Apologize to DD and let her know sometimes grown-ups mess up too. You'll feel better, I promise!

[bullygirl979]

Oct 12, 2012 9:44:57 GMT -5 naeljun said:

Oct 12, 2012 9:40:03 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Awww....big huge bear hugs!!

I am sorry you are feeling in a funk. We have all been there at one point or another. The important thing is that you recognize that it will get better with time.

What about doing something nice for youself? A pedicure, massage, buying a new book....

And naeljun, I know that you know a man won't complete you. I get how you are feeling. You don't NEED a man, but it is nice to feel desired and like you "got it". Are you doing online dating (sorry, I can't remember)?

As for feeling lonely, what about joining a meetup group or taking a class?

I actually take classes online to finish my bachelor's so that takes up a lot of my time too. I belong to a couple of meetups and go out when I can. I am on POF but nothing ever comes of it and I don't bother reaching out to anyone on there because I never get a response and it just depresses me more.

DD has been with her dad all week and I did nothing. She came home last night and all I did was yell at her. I have no idea why. I am not in therapy. I can't really afford anything extra right now and I used all my free sessions for work. I will start again in the new year.

I have a few things going on healthwise and that is costing me quite a bit in copayments not to mention a tooth that cracked that is costing me about 1200 to fix even with dental coverage. DD is in therapy so I have to pay for her copayments now. I can't afford mine too.

Gotcha. Are you working out? If not, how about starting?

And I hate to say it but I think you need to rethink dating or how you are approaching it. I have emailed guys who don't email me back. And while that stings, I have to remind myself that not everyone is going to like me. Not everyone will be attracted to me and my profile. So I could give up and not send out any emails or I could say "fuck it, I don't care what xx men thought about me, I won't give up and I will keep emailing people". But right now it sounds like you are in a cycle where no one contacts you, you don't contact anyone and so it makes you feel bad. What about trying a different site (and changing your attitude a bit)?

I hope that didn't come across as snarky or mean, because it was SERIOUSLY not meant to be. Also, what do you normally write in your emails? If you want to PM me something, I would be more than happy to give you my opinion.

[chrissie3416]

First of all, big hugs coming your way...like pp said, everyone is entitled to a bad day or even a bad week.
treat yourself to something nice and relaxing this weekend
I hope you feel better soon.

[turtle1120]

I'm so sorry you're having a bad day, but Achase hit things spot on - we're all allowed to have bad days!

I think counselling would be incredibly helpful right now, and I completely understand being in a bind financially. When I was in the same situation, my counselor worked with me and charged me a reduced rate for my co-pay (half actually), so I could afford to keep going - and I clearly NEEDED it at the time. Maybe ask if he/she can do something like that?

Big hugs to you! Hang in there...it will get better.

[naeljun]

Oct 12, 2012 9:41:59 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Oct 12, 2012 9:39:39 GMT -5 achase123 said:

For some reason when we're single, especially single moms, we think we're superwomen. We can do everything and are ALWAYS supposed to paste a smile on our face, be strong for our kids, never be irrational, never admit that we're so damn lonely we can't stand it, etc.

This mentality isn't realistic and it isn't healthy. At some point in time we all need a break. We all feel like cracking.

Yes, yes, yes!! All of this!!

My boss wants me to be like this all the time. Sometimes, I don't want to smile.

[usedtobebear]

I'm sorry, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I hope things get better for you soon, sometimes I get the blues and get into a major funk, but eventually the clouds lift and I smile again, you will too, hang in there!!

[jojoandleo]

Call in sick to work, watch a sad movie (like P.S. I Love You) and just cry. You are allowed to be sad, you are allowed to cry.

You are an awesome mother and an amazing person. You deserve some time off to just let your emotions all hang out. It happens to all of us.

DO you have some girlfriends who can come over for a whine/wine night?

[stephbfan]

Oct 12, 2012 10:00:32 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Call in sick to work, watch a sad movie (like P.S. I Love You) and just cry. You are allowed to be sad, you are allowed to cry.

You are an awesome mother and an amazing person. You deserve some time off to just let your emotions all hang out. It happens to all of us.

DO you have some girlfriends who can come over for a whine/wine night?

All of this!!!

Its OK to feel down from time to time.

You are awesome and you know it!

[doriswe]

Also, moms don't always have to be the rule enforcer....take the night/day off from cooking/cleaning and feed your kid ice cream with gummy bears for dinner. Or go to a movie and share popcorn!

[redredwine]

I just want to say I'm so sorry. Everyone had great things to say above and though I don't know what it's like to be a single parent, I do know what it feels like to just want to breakdown. I think we're all entitled to that and we ALL have our weak, and very weak, moments.
Big hugs and know that we are ALL here for you.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry. Remember it's okay to cry and have a breakdown. As far as the dating thing goes, I think you are taking it too personally. I think all of us would agree that the percentage of people who email you back online is pretty small compared to the ones we send out.

[achase123]

Oct 12, 2012 11:00:17 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I'm so sorry. Remember it's okay to cry and have a breakdown. As far as the dating thing goes, I think you are taking it too personally. I think all of us would agree that the percentage of people who email you back online is pretty small compared to the ones we send out.

I have rarely had people respond to me if I send out an email or wink.

[marigoldgirl]

I'm sorry you are so down. Accept that it is a passing thing. Cry it out and sleep it off. Tomorrow is a new day.

[audg]

Oct 12, 2012 11:16:00 GMT -5 achase123 said:

Oct 12, 2012 11:00:17 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I'm so sorry. Remember it's okay to cry and have a breakdown. As far as the dating thing goes, I think you are taking it too personally. I think all of us would agree that the percentage of people who email you back online is pretty small compared to the ones we send out.

I have rarely had people respond to me if I send out an email or wink.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. ({) Before I hid my profile (cuz quite frankly I've had enough of online shit for now).. I found that if I emailed a guy..most times they never w/b...try not to take it so personally. I know it's hard not to. And like everyone said it's okay to feel like a piece of shit every now and then - just cry and let it out and do something good for yourself. Like someone said.. if you don't already work out - maybe start walking a little bit every day or try yoga it helps SOOO much with your mental state of mind. Feel better!

[jade28]

Been there. Don't beat yourself up over being down or unhappy. It's a human necessity to get down and out sometimes because that is when we improve and make life better or find a new way of thinking.

It's funny when I used to get sad, I would beat myself up for being sad and that almost made it worse! My counselor helped me realize that being sad is not a bad emotion. It's a valid, necessary one.

Embrace it. Cry. Scream. Do whatever to feel your feelings and them let.them.go. But stop thinking about things you can't control. Instead, preoccupy your mind with things you can. Take control of what you can. Guys not asking you out? Ask them out.

Also, cardio workouts can help with the down and out feeling. Spend a day doing stuff that makes you happy. Breathe. Everything will be ok. You are right where you are supposed to be.

[formerlyknownasefl]

Oct 12, 2012 9:47:55 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I've lost my shit on my kids before for no real reason, or at least one that I can't remember shortly there after. Apologize to DD and let her know sometimes grown-ups mess up too. You'll feel better, I promise!

This too. Do you have any family that can watch her for an afternoon? You need a pedi or something for yourself. Or maybe you and dd should do something fun together. Allow yourself to cry and be sad and then try to do something to pick yourself up. I'm so sorry you are having a rough time ::hugs::

[leahmel]

It's OK. like PPs said, it is normal and we all go through it at one point. I know I have gone through those feelings a few times and I don't even have any kids to worry about. Give yourself permission to feel that way for a moment, and then you can move past it easier. Talk, cry, scream into or punch a pillow.. whatever helps you personally to get it out and move past it and back to the usual "you".

I also agree that maybe if you change your perspective on the dating thing it might work out better. Have you tried online dating? Maybe just approach it as meeting fun new people and don't have too much expectation.

One phrase that always helps/helped me is: "It gets better". It really does. ((hugs))