Had a threesome this morning

[Deleted]

Me, my husband and this nasty nurse. She was kind of a bitch. Now I want Twizzlers.

[Glitter Tits]

Which type of soda will you use your Twizzlers as a straw for? Also, does your ass hurt?

[EloiseWeenie]

Fingahs crossed for you!!

[Deleted]

My ass feels fine! I asked them if they use a speculum when you birth a tiny human and the bitch nurse was all "no because there's a child the size of a watermelon coming out of there." Bitch I don't need to hear that!

[Glitter Tits]

Your response should have been, "Well, will you be there to massage my vagina to help it stretch? Also, will you make sure to wipe from front to back when I poop on the table?"

ETA: You didn't answer my soda question.

[Deleted]

No soda yet today because I came into work late and the stupid newstand doesn't accept debit cards for purchases less than $5 and I have no cash. This is a frequent problem I have. There ARE Twizzlers downstairs but they're in the Cube of Shame and I don't want everyone to see me taking them and think that's why I'm fat. I've got some serious problems today!

[Deleted]

Were you inseminated?

[Deleted]

May 22, 2012 13:22:20 GMT -5 @amishlovah said:

Were you inseminated?

Yessiree

[Deleted]

I have like 10 fingers crossed for you!!

[Llama in Mules]

Was it as good for you as it was for her?

[Glitter Tits]

Mack, I think that in 6 more posts, you'll become a junior member. I am just comparing your post count to NQB's.

[Deleted]

I better get whoring!

[Deleted]

Thanks guys. She was kinda rude because I explained that we had some problems with the speculum last time and she still just jammed that sucker up there. I actually bit the pillow. Then she said I was going to force the sperm out with my angry uterus. If this shit doesn't work we're doing IVF because fuck these low odds.

[Deleted]

Maybe your uterus was angry because she was abusing it with a speculum.

[Deleted]

So only two more weeks of drinking if this thing works, which it only has like a 5 percent chance of doing but we shall see.

[Glitter Tits]

She seriously said that?! WTF? I'll show her an angry uterus. And just because you're going to have a large object hurtling from your vagina in the future, does not mean that you want a metal object jammed up there all willy-nilly in the present. What a beeyotch.

[Deleted]

Stupid whore probably has three kids, Jaden, Braeden and Maeden.

[EloiseWeenie]

This is why I prefer male OBs. The women ones I've seen are very forceful, while the men are apologetic and gentle.

[Deleted]

I was going to share some inspirational story about my friend who had IF, but then I realized that would make me a complete asshat.

[Deleted]

May 22, 2012 14:05:52 GMT -5 @amishlovah said:

I was going to share some inspirational story about my friend who had IF, but then I realized that would make me a complete asshat.

No dude I love hearing success stories. We already decided this cycle isn't going to work and we'll be moving onto IVF so I am just trying to look into that now and stay positive.

[Deleted]

Well, I always think that as someone who has never struggled with IF, I really have no business sharing stories.

BUT, my good friend struggled with IF. Had two boys by IVF (the youngest is 3 weeks younger than my baby). Guess who is knocked up with surprise twins??

[Deleted]

May 22, 2012 14:11:47 GMT -5 @amishlovah said:

Well, I always think that as someone who has never struggled with IF, I really have no business sharing stories.

BUT, my good friend struggled with IF. Had two boys by IVF (the youngest is 3 weeks younger than my baby). Guess who is knocked up with surprise twins??

Oh wow, that's awesome. It's also my husband's worst nightmare. He's already talking about getting snipped after two and I'm like "why even bother at this point?"

[Deleted]

Also, with both kids, she only needed one round of IVF. Having to do IVF sucks. But in that scenario in which you have to resort to IVF, having it work on the first try is a happy thought.

[Llama in Mules]

How do we cheer up your uterus so this works?

[Deleted]

Yes, you definitely need a happy uterus. This is reminding me of the episode of SATC when Charlotte gets diagnosed with a depressed uterus.

[Deleted]

I think I want to buy things. Actually I'm not bummed about IVF really. It seems much more successful than IUI and less chance of having multiples because let's face it, I can barely take care of myself.

[Deleted]

Also my insurance is only going to pay for 6 cycles no matter whether they're IUI or IVF so may as well pull out all the stops.

[Glitter Tits]

That is awesome that your insurance covers it!

Shopping sounds like a good way to make a ute happy.

[EloiseWeenie]

So, one of my friends had been TTC for 7 years. They gave up after trying clomid (she was having crazy side effects), and she decided she needed to go to counseling to deal with not having kids. After lots of testing, her doctor told her she had a 1% chance of ever conceiving- and that would most likely be with some sort of medical assistance. Last fall she felt weird, turned out she was pregnant. She just had her baby last month. We all call their baby the "miracle baby."

[Deleted]

May 22, 2012 14:26:06 GMT -5 EloiseWeenie said:

So, one of my friends had been TTC for 7 years. They gave up after trying clomid (she was having crazy side effects), and she decided she needed to go to counseling to deal with not having kids. After lots of testing, her doctor told her she had a 1% chance of ever conceiving- and that would most likely be with some sort of medical assistance. Last fall she felt weird, turned out she was pregnant. She just had her baby last month. We all call their baby the "miracle baby."

Aww that's really awesome.