Obligation to buy at direct sales parties?

[Deleted]

I keep getting invited to these direct sales parties (I know,they're common). i just got an invite to the second 31 bag or whatever it is called party this month.

This party is thrown by a coworker who is fun and who I sit next to daily. It would be fun to attend and enjoy the social aspect, but I have zero intention of buying that stuff. It is mostly NMS (though somewhat cute) and totally overpriced. Along with every other direct sales product IMO.

I usually avoid parties like that like the plague because I don't want to feel like I have to buy something. Am I right in doing that, or am I missing out on socializing for no reason? I think it would be more fun to go to the party than to sit at my house...lol.

[ejpint]

I don't get invited to many, but I've been to some without buying. Maybe I'm committing a home party faux pas, but I think the expectation is that you go, you listen, you at least consider the possibility of a purchase, then you socialize.

I do think most people have that sense of obligation when they go to these parties, that's why I don't know if I'd ever throw one. I want people to come to my house to have fun, not to feel guilted into buying something they don't really need.

[Deleted]

You don't HAVE to buy something, but pretty much everyone does. And crap looks more appealing under peer pressure.

[Deleted]

This is when being a poor college student would come in handy LOL. I never bought anything, but attended for the social aspect.

You don't have to buy if you don't see anything you like. But maybe there's something that you could get for someone else. Earlier holiday shopping or something.

But I'd totally go and not buy if you aren't interested.

[cjeanette]

You don't have to buy anything. If you want to go catch up with friends then go.

I can't remember the last time I was invited to one of these parties.

[RitzyHeifer]

I don't attend many, and only those hosted by good friends who I want to socialize with anyway. I never buy anything, even when friend's H was putting on the high-pressure sales pitch one time. He actually made me dig in my heels more about *not* buying.

[Deleted]

Dove Chocolate has a direct sales line in the States, apparently.

That's a sales party I could get into.

[Kore]

Oct 30, 2012 15:34:48 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

You don't HAVE to buy something, but pretty much everyone does. And crap looks more appealing under peer pressure.

Agree with this. Even when I have no intention to buy something, I often will if there's something in the <$30 range. The only time I didn't was when I went to a Willow House party with a friend, and I didn't know the hostess at all. Everything was really $$, so I skipped without feeling guilty.

[Deleted]

It's weird, this is the third one in the last month or so that I've been invited to. Thankfully one was my cousin who lives 3 hours away so that was an easy excuse not to go. The others have been coworkers, both of whom I like and would enjoy socializing with outside of the office. But not if it means I'm going to blow money on crap I don't need. lol.

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2012 15:38:32 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

Dove Chocolate has a direct sales line in the States, apparently.

That's a sales party I could get into.

I have a cousin who just started selling this! It's weird. From what I could tell in her email, the stuff is expensive. I don't understand how any of these businesses work when they jack up the prices on everything they sell. Other than the "you're my friend so you'll feel pressured to buy stuff from me" aspect, I guess. Which just sounds like a great way to make friendships awkward IMO.

[evans]

If you can say no graciously but with confidence then go.
If, like me, you just look like a bitch when you say no then just pass. Make plans with her some other time.

[Deleted]

I already have an expensive chocolate habit.

All I have at work right now is Cadbury Dairy Milk. It's crap. I must replenish my Fair Trade70% dark chocolate stash stat to medicate my way through a work day.

But yes, generally, the model for direct sales is pretty outdated and not really nice to people you know.

[pugz]

I pretty much make it a rule never to attend these. I ignore the invites on FB that acquaintances send. It's annoying.

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2012 15:34:48 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

You don't HAVE to buy something, but pretty much everyone does. And crap looks more appealing under peer pressure.

I leave my credit cards at home or in the car - after a few glasses of wine, I get more liberal with my shopping and don't want to end up with some crappy stuff that is usually overpriced. I only go if its with a pretty fun group of ladies anyway.

[kittycatlove]

I will only go to the parties where I know I'll have fun socializing. Even then I never feel obligated to buy something. I usually figure there are enough people buying that it makes up for me not.

Go, have fun and socialize.

[limey]

Oct 30, 2012 15:47:08 GMT -5 evans said:

If you can say no graciously but with confidence then go.
If, like me, you just look like a bitch when you say no then just pass. Make plans with her some other time.

I'm probably very bitchy looking when I say no, so I usually skip these.

[pamela]

I decline on principal. I don't want to be solicited during social interactions and I hate that these companies encourage (mostly) women to do this.

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2012 15:58:40 GMT -5 limey said:

Oct 30, 2012 15:47:08 GMT -5 evans said:

If you can say no graciously but with confidence then go.
If, like me, you just look like a bitch when you say no then just pass. Make plans with her some other time.

I'm probably very bitchy looking when I say no, so I usually skip these.

LOL. I'm having trouble envisioning the bitch face when saying no.

My problem isn't coming off as a bitch, my problem is that if everyone else puts in an order and if anyone pressures me at all "are you sure you don't want anything? Isn't this cute, do you want this?" then I'm likely to cave.

[minniebee]

I hate these "parties" and avoid them like the plague. They are not parties, your friends don't pressure you to buy stuff at parties. They are sales pitches disguised as social events.

Whenever I get invited to one, I say that I'm sorry, I can't make it to the party, but I'd love to catch up, maybe we could do happy hour next week? Or something along those lines. Basically, saying in a nice way that there's no way I'm coming to your sales pitch to buy overpriced junk I don't need, but I am interested in getting together for an actual social event.

[IrishBelle]

Oct 30, 2012 15:52:32 GMT -5 kittycatlove said:

I will only go to the parties where I know I'll have fun socializing. Even then I never feel obligated to buy something. I usually figure there are enough people buying that it makes up for me not.

Go, have fun and socialize.

:Y: I don't get invited to many and I have been to one where I didn't buy anything and it was awkward. Now I tend to avoid them.

[catsarecute]

My best friend just invited me to a direct sales party for some clothing line. The clothes look horrible. She said we'll all try stuff on and play dress up! That sound horrible to me but I'll go and be social. Most of the time the stuff is so overpriced that I don't feel bad saying no because it isn't in my budget.
I went to a Stella and Dot party and was shocked at the prices. The consultant asked if I was going to place an order and I just said "no thank you." She can judge all she wants. I don't need a $80 necklace.

[Deleted]

I don't generally go. If this the only invite they've eve extended,Either they are too socially awkward to have actual fun social outings or they don't really want to be my friend--they just want my money.

If they invite me to other stuff, I politely decline and attend next function.

I literally accept almost every social outing I am invited to with the exception of these parties.

[krystee]

I always feel obligated to buy, so I take a peek at the catalog and if there's something cheap that I like, I'll go. Otherwise, I'll skip it. At a recent 31 party, I bought a wristlet strap for like $3 and a yellow flower clip to put on a black bag I have for another $3. I figure $6 is a good trade for a night with friends and then I don't feel rude for not buying anything.

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2012 17:08:43 GMT -5 krystee said:

I always feel obligated to buy, so I take a peek at the catalog and if there's something cheap that I like, I'll go. Otherwise, I'll skip it. At a recent 31 party, I bought a wristlet strap for like $3 and a yellow flower clip to put on a black bag I have for another $3. I figure $6 is a good trade for a night with friends and then I don't feel rude for not buying anything.

This I could do! lol.

Many of you make good points about only inviting people because you want to make money off of them. Making friends as an adult is hard, yo! None of the people who have invited me to these parties are "friends" per se....not people I hang out with outside of work.... but I don't hang out with very many people outside of work. I'm not very good at making that leap to inviting coworkers to social stuff so it's too bad this kind of thing isn't really a good opportunity to get to know people better.

[y4m]

I'd probably feel obligated to make a purchase, but it would be these $5 christmas tags.

www.thirtyonegifts.com/Catalog/Product/219/

[CloudBee]

Oct 30, 2012 17:18:56 GMT -5 y4m said:

I'd probably feel obligated to make a purchase, but it would be these $5 christmas tags.

www.thirtyonegifts.com/Catalog/Product/219/

Wow! I could buy a pack of 100 of those for $2 at Walgreens or CVS.

[pugz]

I find the weightloss and wrap ones most disturbing

Basically invite your fat friends

[SusanBAnthony]

They are horrible IMO, but I understand wanting to make new friends.

I was invited to a "fall get together" by a friend, and when I got there it was really a jewelry party. The food was good but still, I was pissed. And I bought nothing.

Later that year a good friend of mine signed up to do one, and she knows me well . She invited me to just come over for the food at the end, after the sales pitch. Worked perfectly!

[cinnamoncox]

Oct 30, 2012 15:59:03 GMT -5 pamela said:

I decline on principal. I don't want to be solicited during social interactions and I hate that these companies encourage (mostly) women to do this.

This is what I hate too
They make it seem so easy and target women (it seems) whom lack regular social interactions, sahms, etc, with promises of flex schedule extra $ etc, all they end up doing is costing the consultant $ and embarrassing them


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[CloudBee]

I have only been to a select few when I wanted to support a close friend. I try to buy one single inexpensive item if there's nothing I want, or splurge on something I want that will actually get use.

I ignore most invites, though. They typically come via FB.