Oh! Weekend irritation at my mom.

[vanillacourage]

We were over at her house for dinner on Saturday. After the meal she brings out an Elf on the Shelf (ugh) for my DS and tells him it will report back to Santa, it will move around every day, etc.

Thanks Mom, for just assuming I have time for that. So while giving her the steady stink eye I tell DS, "Gee, I don't know, that looks like a pretty RELAXED elf, like it MIGHT NOT move around EVERY SINGLE MORNING, it might just STAY IN THE SAME PLACE for a while...."

And also, DS has conflated the whole spy-for-Santa thing and telling Santa what he wants for Christmas. He thinks that every day he needs to tell the elf a NEW THING that he wants for Christmas, and the Elf will report back to Santa. So now his greedy little commercial heart is even more aflame in anticipation of lots of presents. Again, thanks Mom.

Hmph.

[bunch]

I'd think she meant well.

[Deleted]

I am not a fan of Elf on the Shelf in the least. I would honestly not accept it if someone gave me one. We don't do Santa though and I think most people close to me know that so I would be shocked if we received one--but still unashamed to say thank you for the thought but this will not fit into our family's holiday celebration.

I was going to suggest explaining to your son that Elf on the Shelf is just pretend but that's up to you. If he is already really into it it might be tough to stop now.

I agree with bncha that your mom probably meant well but I'm with you that Elf on the Shelf is terribly presumptuous to gift to someone.

[CloudBee]

I think it was an innocent gesture that was not well thought out. We probably will not partake in this tradition. I'm generally a pretty fun/open person, but I just don't like the concept of the Elf on the Shelf.

I would read the book with your kiddo, explain that the elf isn't real, and tell him that maybe a few times in December, leading up to Christmas, you and your husband may make the elf "appear" or do funny things. I would be open and honest so he doesn't have expectations.

I feel like a bad mom typing that out, but I don't know, I just don't think I will play into anything other than Santa, the Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy. I also won't put a damper the fun that comes with having an imaginary friend.

ETA: I would also tell my mom casually the next time we chatted on the phone, etc., that my son enjoyed the book, but that our family wouldn't be partaking in the daily tradition. I would tell her how we decided we would have the elf make a few appearances, but that the approach would be more like a game. I wouldn't want her talking to my child down the line, assuming we had gone through with the full experience.

This is such a novelty. I think it's where I draw the line, shake my head, and think "where does it stop?" Can anyone just write a book and create a new make believe holiday character? I think we're all set with Santa, the Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy.

[Deleted]

CloudBee, if you are a bad mom for saying that, then I must be a terrible mom for not even doing the minimum of Santa, Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.

[CloudBee]

Nov 20, 2012 13:41:41 GMT -5 @carmensandiego said:

CloudBee, if you are a bad mom for saying that, then I must be a terrible mom for not even doing the minimum of Santa, Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.

Did you experience them as a kid?

I loooove Christmas. When I separate the religious aspect (which is important to me), I totally enoy the secular aspect as well. My husband and I love giving each other gifts. I think Christmas will be a fun experience in our home once the kiddo arrives. But for some reason, I just don't get excited about the Santa aspect. I don't think my husband and I have really chatted about the future of Santa in our home because it just hasn't come up, but maybe we should consider not even doing Santa. It's just such a strange concept, and one I questioned myself even at a young age.

[froggy76]

Ugh, that's annoying. My DH wants to get an Elf on a Shelf, and I had to explain to him everything that goes along with it. He thought it was just a cute decoration, which I guess it could be, but I don't even want to go there.

[Deleted]

Nov 20, 2012 13:53:02 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

Nov 20, 2012 13:41:41 GMT -5 @carmensandiego said:

CloudBee, if you are a bad mom for saying that, then I must be a terrible mom for not even doing the minimum of Santa, Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.

Did you experience them as a kid?

I loooove Christmas. When I separate the religious aspect (which is important to me), I totally enoy the secular aspect as well. My husband and I love giving each other gifts. I think Christmas will be a fun experience in our home once the kiddo arrives. But for some reason, I just don't get excited about the Santa aspect. I don't think my husband and I have really chatted about the future of Santa in our home because it just hasn't come up, but maybe we should consider not even doing Santa. It's just such a strange concept, and one I questioned myself even at a young age.

Yes, my family did all three, and it's a big part of why we are not going to do it with DD. I was REALLY upset and disappointed when I found out Santa wasn't real. Honestly, I felt betrayed, and I felt creepy and weird when I had to then participate (at age 8) in the Santa myth because my 5-year-old brother still believed and my parents didn't want me to spoil it for him.

DH and I are definitely nontraditional to begin with about the holidays--he grew up Jewish and I grew up Lutheran but we're both atheists now. He has never liked Christmas thanks to his upbringing, but we made an agreement when DD was born that we would each incorporate family traditions that are important to us for our kids. So we do a tree every year and decorate the house for Christmas, and we have a menorah but DH isn't as gung-ho about celebrating Hanukkah like I am about Christmas so we haven't used it in the past. We may this year, it's up to him.

But for both of us, even though we celebrate Christmas in a very loose and secular fashion, we want it to be about the love and family togetherness and being grateful for what we have in our lives. We want our kids to know that the gifts they get come from the money we work hard to earn, not from a magical character, and we don't want to mislead them during a time when they are learning how to separate fiction from reality anyway.

That's not to say that Christmas can't be about togetherness and family if you do Santa, or that kids who grow up with Santa will be forever scarred when they find out it's not real. I don't think it is an earth-shattering thing either way. We just choose not to do it because we don't feel like it fits in well with our own values and parenting philosophy.

I know I am in the minority for feeling this way and we'll have to coach DD when she is school-aged not to be the kid who runs around class telling everyone Santa isn't real.

[anna7602]

I'm not that into Santa, but have given in because he seems to be everywhere. Mercifully, Elf on a Shelf is not (at least not so far for us).

Our tooth fairy has been co-opted by the tooth mouse who exists in France and in Spanish-speaking countries. DD is freaked the heck out by the thought of a mouse coming to visit in the middle of the night and is not happy her two bottom teeth are currently loose.

So, in short, we have enough to deal with sans Elf. Good luck, Vanilla. I would not be happy with my mom in your scenario.

[pugz]

Omg VC i HATE the fucking elf. It's why i have to quit going on pinterest this time of year.

We likely won't do santa or easter bunny.

[Deleted]

I don't blame you for not wanting to do the shelf elf. I grew up without Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy, and as long as DH is with me, I'm planning on skipping them for Lex too. We got plenty of enjoyment out of those events/holidays without all of the extra made up hype.

[niki]

We won't be doing any of the fantasy holiday characters, either. I remember being very upset when I found out about all of them (all at the same time when I found my teeth and letters to Santa in my mom's top dresser drawer). I am convinced I can make the holidays just as magical without them.

[kittycatlove]

I don't like that elf either. I would be annoyed too.

[jaylea]

I like all of it. Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Elf on the Shelf.

I'll be sad when DD doesn't believe anymore. It's so much excitement for her now.

[fortmyersbride]

We do Santa but I personally find the Elf on the shelf really annoying. I think if a family member were to give it to DS I would turn to him and say "silly grandma thinks an elf statue can walk around the house!"

[atouchofklasse]

Nov 20, 2012 14:38:33 GMT -5 jaylea said:

I like all of it. Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Elf on the Shelf.

I'll be sad when DD doesn't believe anymore. It's so much excitement for her now.

My kid isn't old enough for these yet but we plan on doing them all.

I figured out Santa couldn't logically exist when I was about 5 and have no bad feelings associated with it.

We aren't religious.

[atouchofklasse]

Nov 20, 2012 14:38:33 GMT -5 jaylea said:

I like all of it. Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Elf on the Shelf.

I'll be sad when DD doesn't believe anymore. It's so much excitement for her now.

My kid isn't old enough for these yet but we plan on doing them all.

I figured out Santa couldn't logically exist when I was about 5 and have no bad feelings associated with it.

We aren't religious.

[bunch]

Bah humbug.

[mrssandro]

I would be pissed if my mom got DD a elf on the shelf. So I can completely understand your frustration.

[vampsterdam]

Nov 20, 2012 14:14:05 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

I'm not that into Santa, but have given in because he seems to be everywhere. Mercifully, Elf on a Shelf is not (at least not so far for us).

Our tooth fairy has been co-opted by the tooth mouse who exists in France and in Spanish-speaking countries. DD is freaked the heck out by the thought of a mouse coming to visit in the middle of the night and is not happy her two bottom teeth are currently loose.

So, in short, we have enough to deal with sans Elf. Good luck, Vanilla. I would not be happy with my mom in your scenario.

There are some really cute books that come with a toy (re:the tooth mouse)

I bought one for my 6 year old niece and she loves it!

[Kore]

I can't believe so many don't do Santa. I know we're all influenced by our own childhoods, but dang. Christmas is magical as a kid. I loved believing in Santa. There's such a short window in our lives where we believe that anything is possible. I didn't have a big dramatic (traumatic?) moment where I learned that Santa isn't real. It was a gradual process. I don't even remember when I stopped believing. It's just a bummer to imagine a childhood of Christmas without Santa.

[w2w]

My MIL just bought my child an Elf on a Shelf. Isn't it going to take me about 10 seconds every night/morning? Am I missing something?

[bunch]

My elf is already up. Dd got hers as a 4 mo old last Christmas

[Deleted]

I will have my DD update you guys in about 10 years about how boring and unmagical her Christmases are. I'm sure she will carry the scars with her for life.

[rosetyler]

Nov 20, 2012 15:27:57 GMT -5 Kore said:

I can't believe so many don't do Santa. I know we're all influenced by our own childhoods, but dang. Christmas is magical as a kid. I loved believing in Santa. There's such a short window in our lives where we believe that anything is possible. I didn't have a big dramatic (traumatic?) moment where I learned that Santa isn't real. It was a gradual process. I don't even remember when I stopped believing. It's just a bummer to imagine a childhood of Christmas without Santa.

Shit, my mom still leaves a gift "from Santa". She's so cheesy, but it's sweet.

[anna7602]

Nov 20, 2012 15:23:57 GMT -5 vampsterdam said:

Nov 20, 2012 14:14:05 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

I'm not that into Santa, but have given in because he seems to be everywhere. Mercifully, Elf on a Shelf is not (at least not so far for us).

Our tooth fairy has been co-opted by the tooth mouse who exists in France and in Spanish-speaking countries. DD is freaked the heck out by the thought of a mouse coming to visit in the middle of the night and is not happy her two bottom teeth are currently loose.

So, in short, we have enough to deal with sans Elf. Good luck, Vanilla. I would not be happy with my mom in your scenario.

There are some really cute books that come with a toy (re:the tooth mouse)

I bought one for my 6 year old niece and she loves it!

I will have to keep an eye out for these. But I already told DD that we can arrange for the tooth fairy to visit if necessary. Again, I have too much other "magic" to muster up to add an Elf!

Plus, isn't the Elf just a weird American commercial thing? I never heard of him growing up and my friends outside the U.S. have never mentioned him, either.

[mrssandro]

Obviously I do Santa. But my kid I think is too smart. She knows it's not possible for Santa to watch her every move. She just laughs when I tell her Santa isn't going to get stuff if she is a bad girl. I think she would think the elf was cool for like a minute and get bored with it. Just too much work for the parents.

[anna7602]

Also, Santa doesn't watch my child at all or threaten to bring coal. He's just a jolly, benevolent guy who gives gifts for no reason.

[pugz]

Santa is the new mommy wars!!! Lolz

[cjeanette]

My mom still has an elf on the shelf from her childhood that goes in our tree. I never knew until last year that the elf was supposed to do anything but sit there as decoration. Thats all he did in our home.