This is long...but I'm desperate for some words of wisdom or support...I'm going to try to keep this as succinct as possible..but the truth is I'm just completely overwhelmed with emotions and stress I could go on forever.
Here are the backstory bullet points.
1. This is our first child and I've never wanted anything more in the world.
2. I just graduated from grad school with my MSW and am working as a therapist (fee for service job, which means I don't have any paid maternity leave or real benefits..although I do have health insurance covered).
3. My husband is finishing his last year of law school, will graduate right after the baby is born and then will need to basically not work AT ALL so he can study for a few months and take the BAR in August.
4. I just did all of the math and determined that all of my student loans are coming due this month...and total a whopping $1200/mo (this does not include any other bills).
Basically today I decided to work out my finances and look at what the next year looks like for us...I had a complete breakdown. I guess I didn't realize how much my damn student loans would come to each month... (I owe about $125,000...so the monthly payments are ridiculous). The good news is that I can do a "financial hardship forbearance" and not be expected to pay all of my loans (although the private loans have to be paid the whole time)...however...the insurance accrues at a rate of approximately $20/day I figured out.. that's over $7000 a year!
The bottom line of my breakdown and what I'm seeking support and guidance for...is the fact that, I (as a social worker) will never make a TON of money...I have a difficult time accepting the idea of going back to work full time to make just enough money to pay another person to take care of my son. This being said...I feel utterly stuck and helpless. I feel like I was sold a dream of getting my degree so I can provide for my family and be successful...and now the harsh reality is setting in...that I owe $125,000...and will end up paying about double what my degrees cost...in a field that will never really allow me to pay it back.
I know that eventually (god willing) my husband will be successful in his field and that will help alot. BUT I'm just really having a hard time trying to make sense of what the next 12 months will look like for us. In the very beginning of May, Isaiah will be born...I will definitely be taking at least the first few months off (unpaid) to be with him. During this same time...my husband will be graduating and need to basically be unemployed so he can study for the BAR. I'm really really not sure how the hell we will be able to stay afloat during this 3-6 month period.
I've been looking into possibly providing childcare in my home (I've nannied for 10 years)...so I can be home with my son while also bringing in some income. And eventually I will be able to go back to work part time and have my mom & mother in law watch him a couple days a week. It was just a huge blow realizing that even living the most simple, frugal lifestyle possible my own personal overhead is about $2900/month...I don't know how the hell I'm going to pull this off...and worry about my little one already.
Does anyone have any creative ideas of ways that I can be with my son and also make some kind of money to get by while my husband studies for and takes his exam? Do any of you have any experience providing childcare (while with your own child too)??
Yeah. I seriously want to know about her H's job prospects but she hasn't mentioned anything waiting in the wings for him. Hope he got a full ride because
Yikes. The loans alone were the reason I decided to go to a public school in state rather than an private school across the country for my MSW. You will basically never make enough money to pay it all off. Thankfully, depending on the type of loan, there is forgiveness for MSW's who work with certain populations, including public child welfare, school and at-risk children and families. That still won't really address the private loans though. If she's ever going to make much money in private practice, she is going to need to get licensed, which takes a few years and hopefully not have to pay to get supervision. Just... yikes.
Post by vanillacourage on Dec 4, 2012 0:38:44 GMT -5
The stress totally sucks, but from the outside looking in I don't understand that she's just now calculating that she took out way more in student loans than what that chosen career will make feasible to pay back. They've basically got the perfect storm of poor planning/circumstance - her SLs, her DH's student loans, getting pregnant and going on unpaid ML right when her loans come due AND her DH stops working do he can study for the bar...yikes. I don't envy them at all.
I think I'm having an anxiety attack for her! I cannot imagine being in that situation. Also, as much as I would want to stay home with my baby I would work instead
The stress totally sucks, but from the outside looking in I don't understand that she's just now calculating that she took out way more in student loans than what that chosen career will make feasible to pay back. They've basically got the perfect storm of poor planning/circumstance - her SLs, her DH's student loans, getting pregnant and going on unpaid ML right when her loans come due AND her DH stops working do he can study for the bar...yikes. I don't envy them at all.
Yeah she later mentions she got pregnant on her wedding night.
Why does her H need to take "a few months" to study for the bar? DH took one week for intensive study in Ohio and no time from work in WA; he studied around his work schedule (sadly, but it was how the firm was, the bastards. He passed anyway. Take THAT, Hugh, you emeffer!)
I was thinking about the government forebearance for certain types of jobs. I wonder if she would qualify.
And I hope that her DH gets a good job to help pay for this. Holy crap what a stressful mess.
I was so confused at first because I thought it was you posting. I was like "when did NQB sneak off and get her MSW and why didn't she tell us until now??"
but seriously, my eyes are bugging out. I spent 24k on my grad degree, all federal student loans. Doing so doubled what I made per hour, but still, I'm never going to make more than $50k a year unless I go work for the VA as they have some of the highest paid social work jobs.
I was so confused at first because I thought it was you posting. I was like "when did NQB sneak off and get her MSW and why didn't she tell us until now??"
This was me too. And I was like, "she found out the gender? And named him? How did I miss this?"
I know her head is swimming but she can work and not take an extended leave. Her H can also work while studying for the bar.
It sounds like the reality of their choices have hit. Hopefully when the dust settles she will be able to see her options. Which are not great but she will have to set aside her vision of what she thought her life would look like and move ahead.
On one hand, I feel bad for her. On the other, she is in this position because of a series of bad decisions. How is she just figuring out all of this now??? She also needs to get over the notion that she's entitled to several months home with her son. In this situation of her own making, she's not. Also, I don't know a single lawyer who didn't and study for the Bar simultaneously.
On one hand, I feel bad for her. On the other, she is in this position because of a series of bad decisions. How is she just figuring out all of this now??? She also needs to get over the notion that she's entitled to several months home with her son. In this situation of her own making, she's not. Also, I don't know a single lawyer who didn't and study for the Bar simultaneously.
I think it's pretty common to not work and only study for the bar. Or at least, it used to be. Law students used to graduate in May, study for and take the bar through the end of July, and start work end of August or early September. This is assuming you have a job lined up, though.
Man, they hit every "don't" in the book. I feel for her now, but I also can't imagine how one gets themselves to this point without realizing you're on a crash course and adjusting.
I wonder if she even realizes how terrified she should be about her H's employment prospects. I assume he doesn't have something already, since it wasn't mentioned. I'm not getting a T14, biglaw-bound vibe from the post.
These kinds of stories underscore for me how much more regulation and oversight the SL industry needs. $125k for a MSW seems very much like exotic mortgage products in the mid 2000's, that homebuyers had no way of ever hoping to pay back.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Dec 4, 2012 8:42:29 GMT -5
Youch. Has anyone mentioned to her that her h might not find a job, like, ever?
She doesn't have much choice but to go back full time after six weeks and have the grandma's provide free childcare. Her h obviously needs to be job hunting hard core too.
How much does a MSW make? Depending on her COL, it is possible that she could make more as a nanny or doing home daycare. In some areas that pays very well. No benefits though, so it isn't a feasible option until her h gets a job.
I don't know a single lawyer who didn't and study for the Bar simultaneously.
I do not know a single lawyer who worked while studying for the July bar exam. The route for pretty much every lawyer I know was to graduate in May, take BarBri/study for the bar in late July, and start working in September (although things got messed up a bit when the economy crashed a few years ago and starting classes started later). I do know some people who worked while studying for the February bar exam, but they were only taking the February bar exam because they had failed in July, and they typically took at least 2 weeks off from work before the exam. So it really is not that uncommon to take the time off. The bar exam (at least in NY) is no joke, and passing is really really important.
Yikes. I have an MSW as well. I'm assuming she didn't do a BSW/MSW program, and has a ton of debt from undergrad and then decided to get an MSW? I'd be surprised if she did a BSW/MSW and still ended up in this position.
And BF graduated from law school and worked while studying for the bar. Her H can at least pick up a waiter gig or something to help out while still putting in prep hours.
I go to a private SW school that is very expensive (I get a scholarship and partial tuition which leaves me with ~$40k in loans, but I am paying for name recognition and I know it).
OMG I'm all anxious for her. I need to leave this post.
social workers make about the same in most COLs, $30-40k depending on the field of SW they choose. Hospital social workers and school social workers make the most and typically have better benefits.
working for DFS/the state is usually an option but the pay/hours/caseload are not great, but benefits are usually good and it's a job.
I can't imagine waking up one day and realizing, shit I have $125k in loans, a husband graduating from law school in a bad economy, and a baby on the way. It will suck, but if she takes a minimum amount of time off and her husband takes on a part-time job they could make it work.
She needs to get a job at a non-profit and stay there for 10 years while putting her SLs on IBR so she can qualify for public service student loan forgiveness. There's no way IBR would have her paying $1,200/mo.
The difficulty with that program is you have to make full payments. A friend of mine working for the feds assumed she just had to stay for 10 years and would have the rest wiped, and then found out her minimum payments didn't qualify, and she couldn't afford to pay the amount that made it qualify (plus at that rate, she would have been 1-2 years away from paying it off herself by 10 years).
She needs to get a job at a non-profit and stay there for 10 years while putting her SLs on IBR so she can qualify for public service student loan forgiveness. There's no way IBR would have her paying $1,200/mo.
The difficulty with that program is you have to make full payments. A friend of mine working for the feds assumed she just had to stay for 10 years and would have the rest wiped, and then found out her minimum payments didn't qualify, and she couldn't afford to pay the amount that made it qualify (plus at that rate, she would have been 1-2 years away from paying it off herself by 10 years).
That was the problem I found myself in when I looked into it.
That was the problem I found myself in when I looked into it.
True, but at her level of debt wouldn't it make more sense to extend the payments past 10 years so she can afford food/rent each month? I don't fully understand the intricacies of the program, so I could be completely wrong.
Yes, but my understanding is it's an either/or. One can't do IBR and student loan forgiveness. They either do IBR and pay whatever rate is determined, or they pay the full amount due every month for 10 years and then get the balance forgiven.
Wow, what a mess. I don't see why her H can't work while studying for the bar exam. Also, I get why she would want to take time off after having the baby, but she is in no position to do so. I went back to work less than 2 weeks after having my first child. Did it suck? Yes. But you do what you have to do.
lol @ just waking up one day and realizing you owe $125k. It took her years to take on that much debt and then, because she wants a baby more than anything in the whole wide world, she thinks it's a good idea to get knocked up and take months off work. Excuse me if I'm lacking sympathy for someone who made those decisions and still hasn't pulled her head out of her ass. Typical bump idiocy.
It is crazy that she is just now figuring out what her monthly repayment will be. Doesn't seem like she really has a choice - she needs to get back to work ASAP.
With respect to her husband/bar exam - I don't know many people who worked while studying. Almost everyone I know graduated in May, spent a month screwing around, studied for 6 weeks or so, took the exam in August, and then screwed around until their jobs started in Sept or Oct. But I graduated during a good economic period in which law firms gave you a living stipend for the summer. The good old days .
It said she had $125k, but not that it all came from the MSW--could be a portion was undergrad.
She sounds like most people and doesn't have any clue what she wants.
That's what I was hoping - I know my DH has an MSW and if he had gone full time it would have been done in 2 yrs. He went part time and finished in 3 years.
That said - if she can get hired by the VA she stands a chance at making a livable salary. LCSW's usually start at a GS 11 (around 58k or more depending on region).
"I feel like I was sold a dream of getting my degree so I can provide for my family and be successful...and now the harsh reality is setting in...that I owe $125,000...and will end up paying about double what my degrees cost...in a field that will never really allow me to pay it back. "
This is probably one of the dumbest things I have ever read. I have no sympathy for someone who couldn't put two and two together to realize that a career in SOCIAL WORK wasn't going to make them rich.