So exciting King26!! I hope you can feel some relief for a little bit. Congratulations!
starryfish, I thought about that. Ugh. I own like 3 pairs from the progesterone inserts days, I lived in boy shorts then but my ass has um, outgrown those. I HATE granny panties. But, you are right. Will I really need nighttime nursing bras too? Recs? How are you and baby??
I live and sleep in nursing tanks with built in bras and nightgowns with built in bras too. Def get some nursing pads. I love the medela slimming nursing tanks they sell at target. You def need something right enough to hold the nursing pad.
We are good. Normally she's a really good baby but we had a rough fussy night last night with her up every 2 hours.
Thanks starryfish, lms, EllenGriswold! I made an old navy order and added some things to my grocery list. I appreciate the help! Let me know if you thinking anything else!
Buy some granny panties too for when you are done with the mesh underwear the hospital gives you. Hospital also gave me a belly binder which I didn't really use.
(((King26))) I hope you can get safely there and back before the weather gets too bad.
Well, no such luck wit baby turning. Our c-section is scheduled for Monday morning. Holy shit, this is getting real! Any advice about how I can prepare during these last few days?
Buy some clothes to nurse and lounge around in. I bought regular yoga pants in a size too big and live in them. Also love my maternity yoga shorts and crops from old navy. Love my nursing tank tops. I live in them esp since they have built in bra.
Buy some extra pads, miralax, prune juice. You will bleed even with a c section and the first BM is aweful.
Plan to not sleep in the bedroom just in case. Stairs were NO JOKE for me.
Stay ahead of the pain at first - take the pain meds on time regardless of if you are in pain.
TMI but using the bathroom the first time after having the kid was the most painful part of everything from them moment I got pregnant to being fully recovered. Take all the Colace.
Omg yes on the bathroom part. It was 6+ hours of pain trying to go. It was the worst part of the whole process. Walk as soon as you can, take all the pain meds and laxatives they will give you.
Post by starryfish on Dec 17, 2016 16:10:54 GMT -5
Oh and all these replies made me remember that my small group leader (who works for the church) asked if I wanted visitors when I was antepartum and I said yes!
I'm finally feeling more normal! Baby S is doing so good. She now loves sleeping in her swing so I am very grateful! My mom and DH have been a huge help!
I would be upset. I'm so surprised at some of the responses. The small group could have called, started the meal train adapt during those initial 2 weeks. We're constantly preaching how everyone needs to support new mothers, and to me there was no support.
Thank you! The meal train would have been much more helpful the first two weeks as I was stuck with hospital food or my DH bringing me food. A lot of the time he wouldn't leave me to go get food for himself. Visitors would have been much better the first two weeks too (when I was in antepartum unit).
Now I'm getting the requests for visitors and help when we don't "need" them as much now as we would have before. And honestly I'm shocked how many people have wanted to visit us the first day we got home from the hospital. I was barely surviving then. I'm still not quite ready for visitors yet (baby is 5 days old). Obviously I learned a lot through this experience as well being a first time mom.
I guess I know what is "normal" at my church and I know what we received was not that.
I will definitely wait in making any decisions until later.
This would bother me so much and I don't know if I could get past it. I would get mad all over again in the future when someone else needs help and they get the "normal" help. And I'd have a hard time graciously helping others knowing they didn't value me enough to do the same. I'm not recommending that because I know it's petty to feel this way but I'm always the one that's overlooked and it hurts.
It's wise to wait and I hope you are at peace when you do make a decision. And I don't blame you for not wanting them to come now. Their visit now won't be helpful, just exhausting having to entertain on top of caring for a new baby. When my group does meal trains there is never a visit involved, we literally drop the food and go - sometimes in a cooler on the porch! Congratulations on the baby - get some rest and take care of yourself!!!
Thank you. This is definitely what I am struggling with. I think we will stick it out with our current small group, but when it ends, I think it's time to look at another one or another place.
I can see your point, but as someone who is in a similar church with small groups, I would not have wanted them to come visit. Not my minister either. They might have reached out to my husband, but I'm not aware of it. I was even limiting my own family members, so he would have said no to church folk. I don't visit others in the hospital either, but do reach out to see if visitation is desired once they are home.
As someone said, the birth of a child is often seen as a family event, not an illness. And so many moms, myself included, don't want visitors in the hospital surrounding the birth of a baby. I can see it not being standard to visit new moms in the hospital.
Fwiw, I'm a nursery nurse working on the maternity floor. I rarely see clergy (that I know of) . On Sundays, a nun will visit to give Eucharist to the Catholic patients and that's the extent of clergy that I see. Also, I wish more people would limit their visitors. I so often see new moms who are exhausted and trying to learn how to breastfeed and maybe get a couple hours' nap between feedings, but they can't because of all the visitors.
I wanted visitors before when I was bored in the antepartum unit. I'm definitely getting a lot of visitor requests now and I don't want them lol. I'm exhausted now ;-)
Post by starryfish on Dec 15, 2016 14:58:34 GMT -5
Thanks all. I appreciate the different perspectives. I wanted visitors before the birth when I was bored in the hospital. After the birth I really don't want any as recovery and being a new mom is overwhelming.
Yes they have now offered the meal train but we have family with us for the next 3 weeks.
I guess I know what is "normal" at my church and I know what we received was not that.
I will definitely wait in making any decisions until later.
If it helps, I was hospitalized 5x for PTL and no one visited me. My mom was the pastor too and even she didn't visit!
I have a theory about this and I think it's that people view all childbirth-related issues as a family event, not a sickness.
ETA: I still think someone from the church should've contacted you to see how you were doing. But I also get small group people defaulting to "she's about to give birth so let's give her privacy."
Someone did contact me. It's just that normally this is not how it works at my church with other people and groups I have been in (people visit, send flowers, etc).
Our church is set up similarly and I see people falling through the cracks like you have and it frustrates me to no end. I see other people getting what fees like an unfair amount of attention and that pisses me off too. All that being said I try and reach out when I am able but I know I'm only one person and I don't k ow everyone in our church (by a long shot...). I would feel hurt in your shoes. But I also don't think there's anything that can be done to fix it. It's just a sad reality of large churches and not everybody cares as much as you do
Thanks. I know im emotional right now but I thought the whole purpose of small group was so people wouldn't slip through the cracks. Sigh. My DH went to this church bc of me, but maybe we would do better at a smaller church.
Post by starryfish on Dec 14, 2016 23:32:27 GMT -5
I am a member of a big community church. Been there for 8 years and volunteer there for as long as well. We do small group at my church to help minister to each other's but also have a full time minister that visits members in hospitals. Less then half the church are actual members. Purpose of small group is like bible study and to take care of each other.
I was in the hospital for 2 weeks (prior to being induced) and then was induced early due to severe preeclampsia and it ended in emergency c section (4 week early baby). While in hospital no one from my small group visited and the minister didn't either. I only had a handful of texts from my small group leader (she also works for the church).
I am extremely disappointed that no one from my small group visited or the minister that does visit hospitals didn't visit either. Am I being unrealistic with my expectations? My small group leader found out I was upset and said I should have asked for them to come visit which is crazy to me. I want them to come visit only if they want to, ya know?
I'm trying to figure out how upset a normal person would be bc I'm really tempted to drop the small group and potentially the church.
Congratulations, she's beautiful! I'm sorry you has a rough experience. Magnesium is no joke. I'm glad you're off of it now. She's a big girl for 36 weeks! How is she eating?
Really good! No issues with BFing so far. She just prefers to be held at night rather then be in pack n play or crib. Any ideas? We are open to buying whatever contraption needed lol
Post by starryfish on Dec 12, 2016 23:02:55 GMT -5
PDQ
Will add more details later. Got induced Friday night due to severe preeclampsia and ended up with emergency c section Sunday morning. Lost a lot of blood and the magnesium was aweful.
Born 4 weeks early at 6#13oz. Sophie Lynn, we are in love!
I vote #1. Most of the parties I go to are just lots of apps and sides and everyone likes it. We did a nugget tray and shrimp tray at my baby shower and they both went fast, especially the nuggets.
I thought for SURE that once I hit 12w and we had the NT scan we would announce on FB, but we ended up waiting until 14w. It was more on me, and I am not sure why I decided to wait, I just did. Sorry I am no help!