Mook what age....

[waverly]

DS is 13, and I think he is still a bit young for this.  But, at what age would you allow or have your kid answer the door and be home alone with a service provider?  Examples, dog trainer or housecleaner?  

We had one time where we got home about 3 minutes after the dog trainer got there (she remained on the front porch until we got there).  And today, DH is traveling and not working from home so it was possible the housecleaners would be there when DS got off the bus.  Luckily they had finished, so it wasn't an issue.  This seems to pop up more and more because we've been hiring more help and because DS is old enough that we don't need childcare etc.  But typically DH is working from home.  

In the dog trainer case, we rushed to get home.  And in the housecleaner case, I was just going to have him take the dog for a walk if they were still there, and try to rush back.  But I do have a 30 minute commute, so I can't just get there in 5-10 minutes.  

[InBetweenDays]

I guess it depends on what your concerns are for having him home alone when they are there? I don't think I would have been concerned with our kids at that age being home with the cleaners or dog trainer. I wouldn't expect the kids to really interact with them, but it wouldn't concern me to have them there at the same time.

[devonpow]

If it’s someone you have a relationship with in some way I would have no concerns at that age (meaning people who have been to your house before, know what to do etc). My kids have been alone with our house cleaner several times- I’m only worried about them being in her way. If it was someone who hasnt been there before and needs instruction - say an appliance repairman or something like that - it depends on the kid but my 12 year old wouldn’t be great with that mostly because he gets shy around strange adults and would forget what to do/show them etc

[waverly]

I don't have specific concerns. I am just used to everyone saying don't leave your kids one on one with adults, only in a group since that is the sports and scouting mantras.

The dog trainer, I know. And our sessions ended, so it won't be a problem. The housecleaner I have never met, but DH has met. We've only started using them. So I guess if I had a concern it would be that I don't know them or that DS felt uncomfortable.

[lilac05]

I wouldn’t think twice about it if it was someone we had an existing relationship with (like in your examples).

I’d be less comfortable, but likely still OK if it was someone who worked for a company with a good reputation/was a personal recommendation.

I would not be comfortable if it was an individual providing a one-time service and was self-employed.

The reason scouts and sports really hit hard on this is that there is so much time for relationships to form and for kids to be groomed/lines to be blurred. That’s not the case for providers coming to your home.

[quesyrah]

For me, I would say probably not as a minor.

My kids are 10 and 14. They aren’t allowed to answer the door when they are home alone. Even if just my 14 year old was home alone I would not be comfortable with that.

[mccallister84]

Apr 29, 2024 19:53:16 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

For me, I would say probably not as a minor.

My kids are 10 and 14. They aren’t allowed to answer the door when they are home alone. Even if just my 14 year old was home alone I would not be comfortable with that.

This. But if I was a service provider I wouldn’t be comfortable being in a home with a minor.

[dochas]

First the person needs to be okay being there with a minor. My son has been home when the dog walker came. It has happened when he was home from school unexpectedly. I messaged them to let them know and he was in his room while they took the dog in the yard. Once they came early and he was there when they got there. If they weren't comfortable being there while he was home I would understand. He has always met the dog walker before they start working with us too. I could see the same for cleaners, if he stayed in his room and they were OK with it. I wouldn't have someone that age deal with a plumber or electrician. Dog trainer, I would want him involved in that anyway so if I were running late and it wasn't the first meeting and the trainer was fine with it I would be.

[plutosmoon]

All the service providers I've used to this point require a legal adult to be home. I would think most service providers would not feel comfortable with the idea. I guess I might allow it with a regular house cleaner at around 15 if they were ok with it. Anyone else, probably 18

[sandandsea]

My 12yo has been home alone with the house cleaners for 10-20 mins while I was on my way home. He went to his room, shut the door and played on his iPad out of the way. We’ve had them a long time and they are lovely people I trust so I wasn’t worried.

[jorja]

Housecleaners, who you all are presumably familiar with, I’d be fine having a middle school aged child home with for a short amount of time.

Someone I didn’t know as well, I would not be comfortable with.

[pittpurple]

I think I'd reverse it and ask the providers what they think - I would guess if anything did happen in that 20 minute time period with them being the only adult on site, that would be a liability issue. Here in Scotland, if you're 1:1 with a child at all you need a PVG certificate so I'm guessing they wouldn't want to be in that situation anyway. Could your son just go somewhere else for a bit? A park or similar?

A dog walker might be different as presumably they are just grabbing the dog and leaving (your son could just hand the dog over at the door maybe?), but for the cleaners I doubt they're want to be responsible for a minor.

[puppylove64]

I would say 10-12 for the house cleaner is fine. They hide from the cleaners anyway to stay out of the way. Meeting someone like a service repair, stranger, I would say 15-16. Also, I have boys. I might would have a difference answer for girls.

[CrazyLucky]

I guess for me it depends. We have a housecleaner come every other Monday, and if the kids are there, I'm ok with that. She has kids and I don't have any concerns. Any other service provider, like pressure washing the house for example, is a no. We're about to schedule work to be done in our kitchen, and I am making sure to schedule it around weeks when my kids will be there. So maybe it goes back to the bear vs. man thing. I'm fine with 13 year old DS and 11 year old DD being around our female cleaner, but not around any men. But it also could be because I'm familiar with our cleaner and most other workers are one-time visitors that I don't know at all.

[bbdoll]

My kids are 12 and 15 and I don't let them answer the door when we aren't home.  The world is just too scary anymore.  Heck, I don't answer the door if I'm not expecting someone. 

[erbear]

I have two girls and I say...not until they are adults. I don't even like to be alone in the house when a strange man is coming in.

Maybe an existing relationship, and maybe if it was a woman coming in, 15 or 16.

[Deleted]

I’m usually much breezier than most on this board and I would not be comfortable with my minor kids being home alone with a service provider, nor do I think from a liability perspective that the service provider should be placed in that position.

Our house cleaner is my SILs mom so in our case I’m okay with my kids being home with her, but only because she’s family and someone who I and my kids see at family events also. Random strangers who I only ever see in context of them providing a service, nope not being alone with my kids. I will also say my kids are not comfortable with that at all either.

[clairebear]

I do house appraisals and am frequently in people's homes. I would feel hugely uncomfortable I showed up to an appointment and found only a 13 year old at home. I would be angry that the homeowner put me in the situation. Depending on how close the appointment was to my house (I travel up to an hour one way) I would either reschedule, or do it really quickly because I didn't want to waste my time coming back. I've done appointments where there were several older teens at home which was better but not something I was thrilled about. If it was a service provider like a housecleaner that you saw regularly and trusted than maybe. But honestly I wouldn't allow my minor kids to be alone with a stranger. 

[meanie]

I don't see the point in having them go to the door since 99% of the time they would need an adult anyways. I don't think I would have them home alone with anyone I don't know until they are 16/17, maybe never for DD.

I remember being home alone as a young teen when our landlord would make repairs or do random (illegal) checks. I was SUPER uncomfortable.

I also would consider the liability for the other party, what if something happened when they were there? Even if the kid doesn't need a babysitter, it is still implied that the adult is responsible just by being present.

[waverly]

Thank you all, honestly I was thinking something like 16 for housecleaner.

Hopefully DH will be working from home on those days. However, if not, I will have DS go to the park and wait for me to get home. Since they finished before the bus came and they seem to have the same schedule, I anticipate that they will normally always be done before DS gets there.

ETA- other providers we would need to be there to direct repairs on the inside.  The only ones that maybe we would think might be OK would be something like they are building a new fence outside where we meet with them at the beginning and they do their own thing for 2 days.  We don't have landscapers.  

[hermione]

My general answer is adult. Except for our house cleaner. She's done our house for years. My kid adores her and vice versa. She buys my daughter a Christmas present. My daughter leaves her notes about tv shows they both love - I finally bought a journal for them to write back and forth about them. Everyone involved would be totally fine with it. No one else though.

[pinkdutchtulips]

IME most service providers won't enter if there is a minor home alone.  That's the reason why I plan for them to come the weeks I'm working from home. 

[SusanBAnthony]

We have had times that service providers relating to re.odeling were in our house full time for days or weeks. My teens are also home in the summer. I can't supervise them at home for 4 weeks while a contractor is remodeling a bathroom for example. Same with our house cleaner.

But I wouldn't have teens home alone with one off service providers.

[karinothing]

DS is 12 and has been alone with the house cleaners before.

[redheadbaker]

The only service provider we have is DS' drum instructor, and the company he works for requires an adult to be home during the lesson.

[kittywalker]

Mine are 13 and 15 and I don't let them answer the door when home alone, nor would I let them stay home with any service providers. I won't let my 15 year old uber, either (some of his friends do). Maybe not until 18!