Update on SD stealing

[hereonceagain]

My husband decided he wanted to handle the whole thing even though I am the one who caught her. He talked to her about it and early in the conversation she said "yes I stole the camera" but she was really angry he wanted to talk about it. He asked that she bring it back. She then said "I can't bring it back because I didn't steal it". He replied he was confused because she had just admitted it. She replied "I didn't steal it but I'm lying and saying I did just to get you guys off my back". She then offered to pay us back for it after she finds a way to get money "just to stop us from accusing her". She never came back to our house since then. My H calls to pick her up and she just says "I don't think you guys will ever trust me to be in your house". H told her he wants her here to work all this out, but she still refuses to come.

[thegooser]

Good on DH for having your back.

[Deleted]

It's good that he sat her down but she's still manipulating you and your husband. It sounds like she wants her dad to beg her to come home and won't budge til it's on her terms. I think a family therapist may help you clearly define boundaries and brainstorm parenting strategies--even just a session or two may help.

[hereonceagain]

I just feel so bad for my H. It is heartbreaking that his kids only want to see him when they want money or other things. We were Xmas decorating and it was so quiet and we both seemed sad because they werent here (well the older child s an adult). I feel like it puts a constant damper on things. I just did our photo Xmas cards and started to cry, as they appeared we are like one big happy family, which is hardly the case. It's really been bringing me down lately. The camera theft is just the tip of the iceberg of what we've been going through.

[Deleted]

Dec 4, 2012 19:15:34 GMT -5 hereonceagain said:

I just feel so bad for my H. It is heartbreaking that his kids only want to see him when they want money or other things. We were Xmas decorating and it was so quiet and we both seemed sad because they werent here (well the older child s an adult). I feel like it puts a constant damper on things. I just did our photo Xmas cards and started to cry, as they appeared we are like one big happy family, which is hardly the case. It's really been bringing me down lately. The camera theft is just the tip of the iceberg of what we've been going through.

I'm sorry. That would break my heart too.

[hereonceagain]

Dec 4, 2012 19:14:16 GMT -5 tacom said:

It's good that he sat her down but she's still manipulating you and your husband. It sounds like she wants her dad to beg her to come home and won't budge til it's on her terms. I think a family therapist may help you clearly define boundaries and brainstorm parenting strategies--even just a session or two may help.

Im likely going on my own. My H tried for a long long time (with his kids and ex) and things were so much worse after that he was traumatized and I don't think I can ever talk him into it again. But he's very open on ideas I may get from the therapist and he will consider them.

[Deleted]

Dec 4, 2012 19:15:34 GMT -5 hereonceagain said:

I just feel so bad for my H. It is heartbreaking that his kids only want to see him when they want money or other things. We were Xmas decorating and it was so quiet and we both seemed sad because they werent here (well the older child s an adult). I feel like it puts a constant damper on things. I just did our photo Xmas cards and started to cry, as they appeared we are like one big happy family, which is hardly the case. It's really been bringing me down lately. The camera theft is just the tip of the iceberg of what we've been going through.

. I'm sorry. My dad went through the same thing with his kids from his first marriage. They still don't have a relationship despite him trying for numerous years, I think he's given up at this point. Hopefully your DH can come to terms with it eventually. Therapy never did anything for my family because they always went back to their mom's house; she never enforced anything and gave them money to stay out of her hair.