WWYD? Church related

[winnied]

A friend invited my H and I to attend a carol singing at her church this Sunday. Friend and I are part of two different churches, and the pastor at her church has ranted about how my church isn't truly Christian. This has really bothered me and part of me wonders if I'm supporting their actions by attending this event. I know a many people in their church don't believe the people of my church aren't real Christians so it's somewhat awkward.

On the other hand, it doesn't help relations between our two churches by me not going, especially since she wouldn't ask why I wouldn't attend and I wouldn't mention it without her asking.

I should attend, right? It would be silly to not go?

[vanillacourage]

Is your friend actually singing in the choir? If not I would not go.

[winnied]

No, it's one of those things where there is a choir but everyone sings the majority of the time, too.

[Deleted]

A friend of mine sings in her church choir and invites me to their church Christmas program every year to see her perform. I went the first time I was invited to support my friend, but then they spent a good 10 minutes on why everyone needs to be "saved" and "fill out the card in the pew in front of you if you accepted Jesus into your heart tonight" in the middle of the service. I am an atheist and it made me exceedingly uncomfortable.

Every other year I have told my friend that I love and support her but do not feel right going to her performance. I join her and her friends/family for a celebratory meal afterward but skip the service.

Don't go if you will be uncomfortable.

[soozy87]

They are probably trying to sway you away from your "fake" church and into their "real" church. I wouldn't go.

[winnied]

I'm so torn, I love carol singing and I don't think they'll do any Catholic bashing while I'm there but just knowing they have makes it weird.

FWIW, I went to their Christmas Tea last year with a different friend and it was fine.

[morningmania]

I am unsure why you feel that there are or will be relations between the two churches when one church is clearly negative of the other?

I would not go, I would be offended by what the pastor and members have said.

[winnied]

Dec 5, 2012 11:32:59 GMT -5 morningmania said:

I am unsure why you feel that there are or will be relations between the two churches when one church is clearly negative of the other?

I would not go, I would be offended by what the pastor and members have said.

I guess I want to show that Catholics love Jesus too? I'm not sure what I expect either.

[soozy87]

Dec 5, 2012 11:34:06 GMT -5 winnied said:

Dec 5, 2012 11:32:59 GMT -5 morningmania said:

I am unsure why you feel that there are or will be relations between the two churches when one church is clearly negative of the other?

I would not go, I would be offended by what the pastor and members have said.

I guess I want to show that Catholics love Jesus too? I'm not sure what I expect either.

Can you invite them to something at your church if you go to their event? I'll go to your carol singing if you go to my ______. And show them that your church is awesome too.

[egishere]

I wouldn't go.

[SJ]

I go to a Presbyterian church, but would be happy attend a carol sing at a Catholic church if it was something that interested me.

Only you can decide how uncomfortable it makes you, but I don't necessarily think it is weird/bad/wrong to attend a musical event at a church you don't belong to or believe in their tenets.

[winnied]

Dec 5, 2012 11:36:21 GMT -5 soozy87 said:

Dec 5, 2012 11:34:06 GMT -5 winnied said:

I guess I want to show that Catholics love Jesus too? I'm not sure what I expect either.

Can you invite them to something at your church if you go to their event? I'll go to your carol singing if you go to my ______. And show them that your church is awesome too.

Unfortunately, H and I aren't able to attend the activity our church is hosting so I can't invite her to ours. Otherwise, that's a great idea to keep in mind for next year. Thank you!

Thanks for your input, ladies.

[aspentosh]

If you're interested in going, go. It doesn't have to be about your church vs theirs. This coming from a Catholic that is going to see her boss direct his choir piece at a Lutheran church this weekend.

[Deleted]

If you would enjoy yourself, go. Don't go to make a point or anything. Just go because you want to. I don't agree with the strict views of some of the churches back home but I'll still go to Christmas programs because I like to.

[Deleted]

I wouldn't go, only because I've never been to a church where people don't try to recruit and convert everyone, and that annoys me.

[Deleted]

if your friend was getting married at her church, you'd go right? if you want to go and enjoy singing, I'd go and have fun with your friend. Its not as if they are going to mark you at the door as not being Christian enough....right? lol

[pugz]

curious what denom her church is

[winnied]

Meh, I don't think it's important to reveal the denom of my friend's church because I don't believe the denom as a whole has "Catholics aren't Christians" as part of their doctrine.

Still, it blows my mind that some churches find it necessary as part of their community worship to tear down other churches, or other faiths even. Shouldn't they be focusing on themselves?

I'm going to go to the carol singing. Growing up, there was a church in our hometown that had a similar problem and our family still attended their Passion production every year.

[aurora]

When I was a practicing Catholic, I went to other churches many times with friends and family and didn't have any concerns about it. However, I probably would not go to a church if the pastor of that particular church had explicitly denounced my religion (as opposed to just knowing that the official position of X denomination opposed Catholicism). I would feel like I was supporting disunity, not modeling unity myself.

I do think there's a difference between attending a once-in-a-lifetime event like a friend's wedding compared to an evening of singing Christmas carols.

[barefootcontessa]

I have attended these kinds of Christmas programs at churches whose teachings do not conform with my own beliefs. I know why I believe what I do, so I am not affected by what is said. Different perspectives can also be helpful for pushes me to examine why I believe what I do.

[mccallister84]

I think this is one of those things that you go if you want to. You're not going to prove a point by going or not going and usually these types of things run to the more generic side. If you go and something happens to make you feel uncomfortable you can always sneak out or just not return next year.

[GailGoldie]

I find that whole dynamic really odd - my church would never bash another church - esp the pastor - strange!!

If it's the type event you enjoy going to and would have fun - then go --- there's no reason you should have to talk about your church to anyone. But if you are bored at stuff like that- don't go.

[Deleted]

Dec 5, 2012 11:25:24 GMT -5 winnied said:

the pastor at her church has ranted about how my church isn't truly Christian.

It's up to you, but I think you'd be 100% justified in attending all your friend's invitations to attend events at this church (except something of particular importance like a wedding) based on this statement. Gross.

[Deleted]

Dec 5, 2012 12:36:40 GMT -5 winnied said:

it blows my mind that some churches find it necessary as part of their community worship to tear down other churches, or other faiths even.

I totally agree.

[regina22]

I was at a service of a different church that turned into a fire and brimstone ranting. I had no hesitation about walking out, and I've discussed with my DH that we will decline all further invites (it's his brother's church). I do not want to support that type of religion in any way.

[pacificrules]

If you'd enjoy the carol singing, then go. It seems like this event, in particular, isn't going to be tied at all to the 'relationship' between the two churches. Base your attendance on your enjoyment of the evening, not by trying to prove them wrong, or make a statement by not going.

[pacificrules]

If you'd enjoy the carol singing, then go. It seems like this event, in particular, isn't going to be tied at all to the 'relationship' between the two churches. Base your attendance on your enjoyment of the evening, not by trying to prove them wrong, or make a statement by not going.

[pamela]

I would not go and tell my friend exactly why.

[randp]

Wait. I'm Catholic. I've never heard the argument that Catholics aren't Christians. Why does this other church believe we aren't Christians? Really just curious since I've never heard this before.

[pamela]

Dec 6, 2012 9:49:11 GMT -5 randp said:

Wait. I'm Catholic. I've never heard the argument that Catholics aren't Christians. Why does this other church believe we aren't Christians? Really just curious since I've never heard this before.

www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp

One of the worst offenders of anti-catholic publications. You're going to hell, FYI.