Question about dating

[turtle1120]

I've been single for almost two years now. I did a lot of counseling and I'm feeling like I'm in a really good place mentally. I've dated on and off for the past two years, but decided to take a break last March because I was frustrated and fed up with the endless first dates.

I'm feeling like I'm ready to get back out there and give things a shot, but I'm not sure if the time is right. Here's the issue - DD and I moved in with my parents last May so that I can save money to buy us a house. I do own a condo, but I'm so underwater on it that I can't sell it due to the housing market crash. I am renting it out, but I needed to be able to save for a down payment on another place. I WILL be moving out and buying this spring.

Can I start dating now? Or is the living with the parents thing going to be a major turn off and hurt my chances with good prospects? What does SO think?

[Deleted]

The guy I'm going on a second date with tomorrow lives with his parents. I think given you have a plan and feel ready to date I'd go for it!

[jm5855]

IMO it won't hurt. Things happen, people's circumstances change for a variety of reasons. Any level headed man is going to be interested in you as a person and not worry so much about your current living situation.

[bullygirl979]

Eh, I dated when I lived with my mom and was saving for a house and I dated a guy who was living with his parents while he saved for a house (obviously at different times).

Personally, I give a "hmm" when someone lives at home but if they have a clear plan to leave (i.e. they don't plan on being there forever or are just floating along) then I don't really look too negatively on it, kwim?

ETA: so in closing, if you are ready to date, do it. Don't let what others think about it affect your choices.

[Bernadine]

I still got dates living with my parents, so I say go ahead and try it!

[turtle1120]

Dec 5, 2012 14:10:19 GMT -5 @redvelvet29 said:

How old are you?
Where do you live (very expensive city or cheaper?)

I'm 34. The condo I own is in a HCOL city. I've now moved to the burbs and while it's cheaper than the city, it's still not LCOL.

DD and I did live on our own and I was doing fine and paying the bills when I was renting, but my rent was so high that I wasn't saving enough to have a down payment anytime soon. And once I buy, my mortgage will be much lower than what rent for a comparable place would be. So it just made sense to bite the bullet and live with the P's for awhile.

Let me tell you, this has been a looooonnng six months and I am counting down the days until I move out!

[baa1981]

I think if you feel you are ready, then date. If you meet the right guy, this won't be an issue for him. He'll understand. If he doesn't, then he isn't the right guy.

[spindle92]

I can 100% sympathize with you.

I moved back to my homestate this past summer and currently live with my older sister. I started looking for a house right away but of course it is taking longer than I had hoped. It is a big mental thing with me. There are days when I am like "god, why the heck would anyone want to date me. On paper I must sound like a real winner." but then I remind myself that this is only temporary. It is not like I have lived with my sister my whole life and have no desire to have my own place. It is just temporary.

At times I tell myself I am just going to wait untill I have my own place to date but then I am like, why should I put my life on hold, even if it is just for a short time.

So in this long ramble I am basically saying, go ahead and date if you feel ready.

[Deleted]

I'd say if you're in a healthy place and ready to get out there, get out there! Don't make a big deal about living with your parents and just see how it goes.

[turtle1120]

Dec 5, 2012 17:56:58 GMT -5 @darkangel said:

Well since I know where you are I'm going to say it's not that big of a deal. Especially since you do have a plan to move and are making a smart financial decision by living at home.

The only thing that would stop me would be are you planning on moving far when you buy? Then I might just wait.

I'll be staying in the same town that I'm in now. If something great came onto the market, I might consider moving one or two towns over but I'll still be in this area.

[doriswe]

My mom lives with me and I date (well when I can find someone to date!!). It's always a little awkward to bring up, but I don't care!

[turtle1120]

MP - I would absolutely never bring a guy back here.

Ok, it's settled then. Enough of you think this isn't a big issue, so I'm going to jump back in. Wish me luck!

[turtle1120]

Dec 5, 2012 21:39:50 GMT -5 @darkangel said:

Well I've been out with a few guys from back there who think it's NBD to try and take me back home to mom and dad's house. Lol.

Good luck!

Please give me names so I can avoid those guys! This isn't high school. I'm not going to anyone's parents' house and quietly getting it on in the basement.