Fun Insurance Claim of the day

[puppiesandrainbows]

This was an awesome one at work today, so I thought I'd share and give you all a laugh. Please do not quote, I may eventually DD.

Our insured, I'll call her Ms. Smith, had robbers break into her home and steal various items. She submitted her listing of the stolen items to me, and I was reviewing it for evaluation purposes.

Everything looks pretty run of the mill, until I get to item #17. "Purple Rabbit Vibrator". I gaped at it, and then started laughing hysterically. And immediately shared it with everyone in the office.

Since at my company we're supposed to be "professional" and "courteous" I was not allowed to do this, but I was DYING to call her and have the following conversation:

"Ms. Smith? It's P&R, your claims adjuster. I received your paperwork, and in order to be certain that the depreciation on your items is correctly calculated (I want to be certain we are not withholding too much!), I do need a bit more information.

Item #17, the Purple Rabbit Vibrator? Just to confirm, this is an "intimate massager", intended for "personal gratification", correct? I see. How long did you own it? Can you give me an estimate of how many times per week it was used? Do you recall if the packaging detailed the intended lifespan of the personal massager? Was it in months, years, or orgasms? If it was orgasms, did it say how many? Does 250-300 sound about correct? Great. So does one session of use constitute one orgasm only, or more? If the lifespan was 250-300 orgasms, about how many do you think you had gone through at the time of the theft?"

I refuse to believe there is anyone nasty enough to steal someone's vibrator.

[UMaineTeach]

No way would I be claiming that.

[lindyanne]

Um wow. I don't care if it was $1k, I wouldn't be claiming it.

[vanillacourage]

Those things are expensive. Times are tough! lol

[vegas]

Man P&R, we should compare notes. I deal with stuff like this all the time. Admittedly nothing as funny as this (so far), but some crazy stuff nonetheless.

[dexteroni]

lol at both the item and your imagined line of questioning.

[Deleted]

Dec 5, 2012 20:13:25 GMT -5 vegas said:

Man P&R, we should compare notes. I deal with stuff like this all the time. Admittedly nothing as funny as this (so far), but some crazy stuff nonetheless.

I think the highlight of my professional career so far was getting the words "penile implants" into a deposition transcript several times -- and the matter had nothing to do with penile implants.

I also had a case where "drill in the glory hole" came up many times in the brief.

[puppiesandrainbows]

Vegas, we could do this all day!

V, an attorney for a dog bite claimant (guy was bitten on the ass, LOL) sent in her demand package for him. Her demand letter stated "My client's Magic Mike days are over."
/dead

[puppiesandrainbows]

Dec 5, 2012 20:11:14 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Those things are expensive. Times are tough! lol

That's what my boss said, haha!

[AAM2012]

Eww robbers stole your vibrator? Did they try to sell that at a pawn shop?

I've also had women send in photos of their boobs...which were down to their knees. No way if mine looked like that would there be photo evidence.

[aspentosh]

I love this thread. It makes me happy

[takeonyou]

I wold like to meet Mrs. Smith. She sounds fun!

[morningmania]

I am floored that she put that on her claim. I WOULD NEVER! Dh says if it cost $1K I better put it on there. ha ha ha

[protozoa]

LOL, yeah if my vibrator was stolen I would definitely write that off as a loss.

[aspentosh]

Also, I have to think about how desperate someone would be to steal a used vibrator. I mean, wow.

[brit1017]

DH got called to a burglary at a home. As they are going through the house with the family, they come to the teenage daughter's room and see a vibrator sitting in the middle of the bed that the burglars had apparently moved there. DH said that the daughter was dying of embarassment as the dad started questioning her as to what it was

[puppiesandrainbows]

Dec 6, 2012 8:36:17 GMT -5 takeonyou said:

I wold like to meet Mrs. Smith. She sounds fun!

Ms Smith is 62-67 years old, disabled, voluntarily informed me that she weighs around 350lbs, and rides around on a rascal.

Enjoy the mental image! YWIA

[vegas]

Dec 5, 2012 20:21:14 GMT -5 v said:

Dec 5, 2012 20:13:25 GMT -5 vegas said:

Man P&R, we should compare notes. I deal with stuff like this all the time. Admittedly nothing as funny as this (so far), but some crazy stuff nonetheless.

I think the highlight of my professional career so far was getting the words "penile implants" into a deposition transcript several times -- and the matter had nothing to do with penile implants.

I also had a case where "drill in the glory hole" came up many times in the brief.

Too funny!

The loss of consortium claims are my favorites. I get to hear a lot about the sex lives of some pretty screwed up people, which always makes for an awesome transcript.

I had a case with a guy who slammed his penis in a toilet at a local casino. That transcript was golden.

But the best are the EUOs I do. P&R, I'm sure you see your fair share of EUO transcripts. Some of these people are too stupid for words.

[zarapipe]

Dec 6, 2012 10:40:54 GMT -5 puppiesandrainbows said:

Dec 6, 2012 8:36:17 GMT -5 takeonyou said:

I wold like to meet Mrs. Smith. She sounds fun!

Ms Smith is 62-67 years old, disabled, voluntarily informed me that she weighs around 350lbs, and rides around on a rascal.

Enjoy the mental image! YWIA

AAHHHH the mental image is sharp.

[MamaMaui24]

Dec 6, 2012 10:40:54 GMT -5 puppiesandrainbows said:

Dec 6, 2012 8:36:17 GMT -5 takeonyou said:

I wold like to meet Mrs. Smith. She sounds fun!

Ms Smith is 62-67 years old, disabled, voluntarily informed me that she weighs around 350lbs, and rides around on a rascal.

Enjoy the mental image! YWIA

Stop it.

[puppiesandrainbows]

Dec 6, 2012 11:07:36 GMT -5 MamaMaui24 said:

Dec 6, 2012 10:40:54 GMT -5 puppiesandrainbows said:

Ms Smith is 62-67 years old, disabled, voluntarily informed me that she weighs around 350lbs, and rides around on a rascal.

Enjoy the mental image! YWIA

Stop it.

Swear to Gawd.

Vegas, much of the time I get to attend the EUO's, which are usually so awesome that it's worth the inconvenience. One of the things I really enjoy is when the insured tells a lie, I give them a detached, long look, and then write a note and slide it over to my counsel, and then go back to giving the insured the 50 yard stare. The note probably says "Hey, what are we having for lunch?" but they don't know that.

[vegas]

That's like my trick of bringing in a video tape and asking if they know if there was any surveillance of the incident (i.e. the theft of the car). Then I put my hand on the tape while I wait for the answer. Always scares them into thinking the supposed theft was caught on tape even though it's just my 1989 copy of Sixteen Candles.

[puppiesandrainbows]

Dec 6, 2012 11:26:44 GMT -5 vegas said:

That's like my trick of bringing in a video tape and asking if they know if there was any surveillance of the incident (i.e. the theft of the car). Then I put my hand on the tape while I wait for the answer. Always scares them into thinking the supposed theft was caught on tape even though it's just my 1989 copy of Sixteen Candles.

That is amazing. One of my favorites with "injured" car accident claimants who swore their back was so effed from the accident that they are disabled, cannot work, will need treatment forever, blah blah blah, was to have the appraise ask the insured " You know, the dents aren't showing up well in photos. Would you mind holding this ruler to point in out in the pic?" I'd end up with tons of pics of the claimant contorted like a gymnast to make sure he/she gets every cent of their car damages covered. Then I'd tell them to take a hike on their made up injury claim. I'm surprised I've only received two death threats so far.