My adventures in dating

[5kg8rgirl]

So, I posted a few days ago about a guy I was dating that went MIA I was considering turning into a FWB situation. I ended up getting a weird vibe and susbequently google stalking him and searched our public records (in FL you can find everything). According to him, he has been divorced for 10 years and has twins. Well, in searching our public records, he has been divorced 2x and has a child by another girl that he forgot to tell me about. (So, divorced 2x and has 4 kids by 3 different chicks) He was also convicted of domestic violence. :/ wtf???

I have so many bad stories, my friends are now rooting for me to set up a blog. One of the propositions was for me to go out with the next 10 guys that ask me out, even if I am not interested. Here are the prospects. WWSO do?
1)Fat nurse I work with, that annoys the hell out of me, wants to set me up with her son that is 30, is responsible, but "rarely talks", and lives at home with her. :/
2)21 yr old I met in my coffee/ book club (yes I am a nerd), that is insanely funny and makes me almost pee in my pants every time we hang, but is also extremely active in the atheist community and "committed to skepticism and discovery." Christian values are one of my few dealbreakers and 21, really? What am I supposed to do with that? (I am 31)
The next few are online dudes:
3) 44 yr old guy Out of my age range, is listed as "widowed" and his kids "live away from home." How are you widowed and don't have custody of your kids unless you killed your wife? He doesn't want anymore children, he doesn't appear to like outdoor activities. His primary language is Spanish.
4) Relatively normal guy, good job, divorced 0 kids. No red flags, also no sparks.
5) 38 yo, never married, terrible job, serious bible thumper. (I am a Christian, but don't believe in converting, etc)
5) 35 year old that has 5 kids and "definitely" wants more. I have 1, we would be the be instant brady bunch. He blames having so many kids on "not having a tv"
6) 6'4" hot, 33, never been married, great job, dunce, boring, obvious playboy. The date he proposed was on his motorcycle, which is one of my irrational fears.
7) 36, self proclaimed, "Handsome, rich, doctor" fyi, he is not good looking, let alone handsome. Seeking someone else in the medical field. His match account is a resume, not a dating profile. He is clearly a douche.
8) Mike. 1st of all, I don't date anyone name Mike, under any circumstances. I have already dated 5. However, he is the funniest guy ever and his e-mails crack me up. Then again, he is undergoing facial plastic surgery this week. huh?
9)37, 6'3" looks like Dexter and his best ? for me has been "do you rent or own your home?" (major eye roll).
10) profile name "nicesmartkinda" His last e-mail reads like this "Name xxxx not sure what to say. but you are truly beautiful and pretty. I would like to know more about you if you have the time. Am not the bested looking guy but I do have a big heart. If you would like to talk just ask anything ill tell you. thanks "

[Deleted]

Maybe you have so many bad dating stories because of your attitude and ridiculousness (excluding a guy because of his name).

[5kg8rgirl]

Dec 6, 2012 10:20:24 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Honestly, I tried to do this with another SO woman last year. We each picked 3 people to go out with but it was a big failure. I would NEVER go out with 10 random people just because my friends said to. It sounds dangerous and a waste of both people's time. While it may be fun, it's not necessarily the nicest thing to do.

Granted you never know who you'll have chemistry with, I wouldn't go out with just anyone.

Oh and the enter key is your friend. I can't read that block of text. Except for 3), his kids are probably in college. Duh.

ETA: I also think you're taking a bad attitude to dating and life if your first comment is about a "fat nurse"

Hey MCC, it probably was not a nice description of the nurse. I should say instead that she is generally nasty and treats the kids we work with terribly, hence my disdain for her. Also, the guy whose kids live away from home, lists the ages of his kids and they would be in elementary school. Also, if I don't have fun on dates, I pay for it, or at least insist on my portion. However, my attitude about dating probably does suck at this point and I am prepared to be massively flamed.

[jojoandleo]

Dec 6, 2012 10:25:15 GMT -5 doglove said:

Maybe you have so many bad dating stories because of your attitude and ridiculousness (excluding a guy because of his name).

This. At 44, the guys kids could be, ya know, old enough to be living on their own? away at college and so on? You seem VERY judgmental. Is that a part of your Christian values?

[jojoandleo]

Or MAYBE they are from a different wife, one whom he divorced and is not widowed by. This whole thing just left a really nasty taste in my mouth. Do not date people you do not like for others entertainment. That seems cruel.

[Lauren88]

I'm wondering what the deal is with guys named Mike? It's a very common name and you could miss out of an awesome guy by automatically excluding anyone with that name.

[5kg8rgirl]

Dec 6, 2012 10:41:24 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Or MAYBE they are from a different wife, one whom he divorced and is not widowed by. This whole thing just left a really nasty taste in my mouth. Do not date people you do not like for others entertainment. That seems cruel.

I actually hadn't thought of that, seems plausible. I haven't done it yet and am open to advice/input. Will be here all day for the flaming

[5kg8rgirl]

Dec 6, 2012 10:43:08 GMT -5 Lauren88 said:

I'm wondering what the deal is with guys named Mike? It's a very common name and you could miss out of an awesome guy by automatically excluding anyone with that name.

Hey Lauren, that was actually a bit of sarcasm on my part. Attempt at humor fail I have previously dated 5 guys named Mike. After the last one, I said no more Mikes. Semi in jest, semi serious.

[gozf]

You sound bitter and nasty. Frankly, I can't believe you have 10 prospects.

[achase123]

I guess I'm confused why you would go out with people who have obvious red flags/issues that you've mentioned. I just think our time is more valuable than that. But hey, if you want to be amused/have a good story to tell that's up to you.

[5kg8rgirl]

Dec 6, 2012 11:19:33 GMT -5 achase123 said:

I guess I'm confused why you would go out with people who have obvious red flags/issues that you've mentioned. I just think our time is more valuable than that. But hey, if you want to be amused/have a good story to tell that's up to you.

Hmmm...good question. I guess it is more of a matter of I have tried hard to screen so far and things haven't gone well. So, maybe, going out with a few people that don't fit my traditional mold will surprise me. I remember someone posted recently she almost wrote off a guy b/c he was really short and wasn't attracted to him. Now she is really into him. It could turn out for the better, in the past, it could turn out to be far worse. I am mildly interested how it plays out. Worse comes to worse, I could write a blog about the experience. I know I have a lot of red flags myself I was separated by 30 and have sole custody of my son, and supervise visits for my XH 2x per week. Then again, maybe I am bitter and need a break. I am taking advice and evaluating.

[rikkiandjulie]

Dec 6, 2012 10:38:53 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Dec 6, 2012 10:25:15 GMT -5 doglove said:

Maybe you have so many bad dating stories because of your attitude and ridiculousness (excluding a guy because of his name).

This. At 44, the guys kids could be, ya know, old enough to be living on their own? away at college and so on? You seem VERY judgmental. Is that a part of your Christian values?

My mom is 43, and all 3 of us kids live away from home.


Rikki-iPhone

[5kg8rgirl]

Dec 6, 2012 11:25:26 GMT -5 rikkiandjulie said:

Dec 6, 2012 10:38:53 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

This. At 44, the guys kids could be, ya know, old enough to be living on their own? away at college and so on? You seem VERY judgmental. Is that a part of your Christian values?

My mom is 43, and all 3 of us kids live away from home.


Rikki-iPhone

Don't answer this if you don't feel comfortable obviously, but why? I could understand if they were adults. These kids are all under the age of 11. I generally, but not always, feel uncomfortable if the person's kids live away from home. This is largely based on my experience with my ExH that suffers from addiction issues, and therefore, I have sole custody.

Also, I gave a guy a chance once whose daughter "lived away from home." He ended up breaking things off b/c I have a 2 yr old at home and flat told me he didn't want the responsibility of being full time parent. I fully support my son and we have a pretty nice life. I am not looking for a father figure, but let's face it, it is largely unavoidable, to some degree. Anyone I date will become a role model for him and spend a lot of time with him since he is home with me.

[jojoandleo]

There is a huge difference between blowing off a guy because he is short and blowing off a guy because you have such negative stereotypes about him and are ALREADY talking shit about him to an internet message board. You see that, right?

short =/= red flag.

[Deleted]

Umm I think you think you're REALLY special because all of these people who don't fit what you like have asked you out. I assure you, you are not. What you have described is I'm sure the exact experience of everyone on here when it comes to online dating.

[5kg8rgirl]

Dec 6, 2012 11:52:31 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Umm I think you think you're REALLY special because all of these people who don't fit what you like have asked you out. I assure you, you are not. What you have described is I'm sure the exact experience of everyone on here when it comes to online dating.

Nope, I don't think I am all that special in this regard. I have been on the online dating scene for a few months. I am fortunate, where I live, it is pretty active. I have asked guys out and been rejected, I have done the rejecting, etc.