His child is 9 years old. His other children are 19 and 17. My kids are 6 and 4. As far as my children are concerned, she has told my son to "shut up" and she has thrown things at him when she was having a tantrum. She refuses to help clean up the toys at night after they are done playing; she makes my kids do all of it. She whines and says she is too tired to help. She is very jealous of my son and FI's relationship. If they are holding hands while walking, she says "get away from him" and pushes my son away. FI says, "she doesn't understand what she's doing" but never talks to her about it.
You are all right in everything you're saying. I'm just in denial. I thought he was perfect for me. Now I'm seeing things differently and it's terrifying.
YOU KNOW HE ISN"T RIGHT FOR YOU_YOU ARE IN DENIAL, YOU ADMITTED IT!
FI has stepped in and disciplined her at times when she has been unfair to my kids, but he doesn't see everything. When I tell him about it after the fact if he's not around, he never does anything.
FI's father passed away about a month ago and at the funeral, his daughter actually pulled my hair. I have hair extensions and FI's exwife is all kind of jealous of me. She told FI's daughter to try to pull them out, so of course she did. She pulled my hair a few times, laughed, and didn't stop when I told her to quit doing it. FI talk to her about it, but I never got an apology or anything for it. He also talked to his exwife. Totally inappropriate and immature act at a funeral. I mean, completely stupid and childish.
My issue with this is not his daughter, it's FI. I just don't like the way he parents her. She wouldn't have these issues if he taught her respect, discipline, etc. He feels so much guilt over missing out on his older kids' childhood that he spoils her TO DEATH. I haven't seen him in over a week because he "chose" to have her every night. He had her every night last wek, as well. We were supposed to go to dinner last night, but he canceled so he could spend time with her. He has no schedule with her, just flies by the seat of his pants. Whatever she wants, she gets.
He came over late last night so we would have time to talk about all of this, but the minute he walked in the door, his daughter called crying asking for him to come back (she was with her Mom, FI's exwife). So, he said "My daughter is upset I have to go." And, he left. He had just spent all evening with her, and was going to see her in the morning for school, but I guess it just couldn't wait.
SHE PULLED YOUR HAIR! SHE HAS NO RESPECT FOR YOU OR YOUR SON, THIS WILL NOT CHANGE OVERNIGHT!
This is what YOU have shared-This kid is a bully. She picks on you and your kid and your FI has stuck up for HER or NOT disciplined her when she acts this way. This upsets your son, and he already has emotional trama from it:
I've kept a closer watch on my son, and that has helped. I've been having private conversations with FI's daughter so that my son knows I am defending him, at least. Also, she is starting to realize that she can't get away with that kind of stuff in front of me. But, my son doesn't understand it's wrong. He loves her to death, always asks for her, and wants to spend time with her.
I don't think I said I was fearful for my child's safety. If I did, I was referring to FI's 9 year old DD. My FI is great with my son. Having issues with FI's parenting style does not = abuse.
I've been feeling anxious ever since he proposed. I'm scared to move in together. I'm scared to get married again. I'm just not ready. I don't even want to put it off. I just don't want to be engaged to him anymore. Ever since he proposed we've been arguing. We have a lot of issues that have been coming up lately, and I don't see these issues going away. I'm so incredibly exhausted and hurt. I wanted to have a life with him, but I just don't see it happening with the way things are right now.
I'm embarassed and afraid I'm going to look like a fool to everyone now.
You said you aren't ready. ONE convo, will not MAKE you ready.
You have a lot of issues YOU ADMIT are NOT GOING OT GO AWAY SOON!
Back track all you want-but you know this is a bad idea, you are CHOOSING to ignore it.
But, guys. It's so much easier than breaking an engagement!
My eyes are rolling out of my head.
yeah, Just breaking it off and letting things get fixed BEFORE pursuing a relationship is TOO MUCH WORK! one conversation where you promise to change totally makes it better!
Wanna know how many times my dad promised to stop drinking? My ex-step dad PROMISED to go to anger management and change? Words mean shit. Change takes time. Give this time. Break it off, move on.
My child is not being abused. Not in any way. He is healthy and happy. You don't need to go off track and overexaggerate facts.
OK so if the above is the truth then you were lying in all your other posts. Which one is it...are you a liar now or a liar then?
support group? are you for real?
I/we will never ever support a woman who is so desperate to be in a relationship that she lets her son be abused by her bf's kids...while he igonores it and you feel like you cant leave your child alone and must keep a close eye on him. You are a disgrace.
backpedal...lie...try and make excuses, whatever you need to help you make it through the night to feel better about yourself.
You need a new therapist...but im sure you are lying to her as well. youll never get healthy nor will your son while you continue to lie and live in denial.