Update on my date from Monday

[winecat]

Which guy was this? (I can't keep everyone's dates straight.)

He sounds clueless about the reality of online dating.

[glitzyglow]

That sucks. I'm sorry RV.

[winecat]

Dec 7, 2012 1:05:34 GMT -5 @redvelvet29 said:

He was an engineer, 31, no kids. He was cute and nice and we went to my favorite place. I could have actually dated him, we had a lot in common

Damn. I remember now. I'm sorry. So disappointing. When my BFF was doing match.com, she got the same thing often. And she is an Ivy League educated lawyer who is really pretty too. I think guys who are new to the online dating world see "all" these opportunities and think it is an all you can eat buffet but in reality most of the dishes suck.

[winecat]

It sounds like any other location would be better for dating, but NYC is awesome!

[redredwine]

While it sucks...at least he texted you back?

Signed,
The girl who just never gets texts back!

[Deleted]

I think guys who are new to the online dating world see "all" these opportunities and think it is an all you can eat buffet but in reality most of the dishes suck.

(I) (I) (I) This is so true.
Sorry Redvelvet.

[doriswe]

Wait...so everyone really believes he couldn't have really met someone else that he liked better? While she was his first date from Match, there's nothing saying he didn't have lunch with someone else on Tuesday....or was already sort of talking to someone he met IRL. I don't really find this all that hard to believe.

[blackkitty]

You haven't had the best luck dating lately. I sense a major change in your life coming up... I know you have talked about a move. I'd wait to see what is coming. If dating is fun by all means continue but something is about to change for you.

[jojoandleo]

Dec 7, 2012 7:24:17 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Wait...so everyone really believes he couldn't have really met someone else that he liked better? While she was his first date from Match, there's nothing saying he didn't have lunch with someone else on Tuesday....or was already sort of talking to someone he met IRL. I don't really find this all that hard to believe.

Or been casually dating someone already that he met IRL and decided he wanted to pursue it? I don't get just not believing what he says just so you can feel bad about yourself. Take what he says at face value and move on rather than dwelling and thinking it's a "cop out".

[bullygirl979]

Dec 7, 2012 8:47:00 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Dec 7, 2012 7:24:17 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Wait...so everyone really believes he couldn't have really met someone else that he liked better? While she was his first date from Match, there's nothing saying he didn't have lunch with someone else on Tuesday....or was already sort of talking to someone he met IRL. I don't really find this all that hard to believe.

Or been casually dating someone already that he met IRL and decided he wanted to pursue it? I don't get just not believing what he says just so you can feel bad about yourself. Take what he says at face value and move on rather than dwelling and thinking it's a "cop out".

I agree it is plausible as well.

I just texted a guy (who lives an hour away) that I really didn't have time to see if this went anywhere because of the distance, my medical issues and my dog's medical issues. He texted me back and said "I can't believe you just used that line on me". Yeah, dude, it isn't a line, it's the truth. Some people do tell the truth.

But either way it sucks, RV. Hugs!

[prettyinpearls]

Sorry, RV ((hugs))

Why does it matter why he wasn’t interested? At least he gave her the courtesy of saying something instead of just disappearing off the face of the earth.

[udscoobychick]

Sorry, RV.

[gozf]

Sorry, RV.

...I want BlackKitty to tell my fortune! What do you see for me, BK???

[winecat]

Dec 7, 2012 10:43:44 GMT -5 @redvelvet29 said:

Dec 7, 2012 8:47:00 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Or been casually dating someone already that he met IRL and decided he wanted to pursue it? I don't get just not believing what he says just so you can feel bad about yourself. Take what he says at face value and move on rather than dwelling and thinking it's a "cop out".

I am not saying it's an excuse so I can feel bad about myself. I just don't think it is true. Also I just looked at match and he is online right now. I don't feel bad about myself... I am just a bit sad.

I would have preferred him to say he just didn't like or find me attractive.

I don't think that is true. I think he has "shiny object" syndrome and hasn't seen the other side of online dating.

[Deleted]

I think everyone is being really hard on this guy. Yes I feel bad for RV that he wasn't as into her as she was into him. But I think he handled this very nicely and politely. He doesn't suck.

I think it's perfectly reasonable he had a great time with RV, but met someone he had a better time with. It seems reasonable to not waste RV's time. And while I coined "shiny object" theory, I don't think this is necessarily this guy's case. He didn't say "I don't want to date you because I want to see if there is something else out there." He simply met someone he likes better.

He did exactly what we all say we wish dates who weren't interested would do and now he's getting flamed by some. And we wonder why guys just ignore. Because it seems they are damned if they do, damned if they don't.

[bullygirl979]

Dec 7, 2012 13:13:31 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I think everyone is being really hard on this guy. Yes I feel bad for RV that he wasn't as into her as she was into him. But I think he handled this very nicely and politely. He doesn't suck.

I think it's perfectly reasonable he had a great time with RV, but met someone he had a better time with. It seems reasonable to not waste RV's time. And while I coined "shiny object" theory, I don't think this is necessarily this guy's case. He didn't say "I don't want to date you because I want to see if there is something else out there." He simply met someone he likes better.

He did exactly what we all say we wish dates who weren't interested would do and now he's getting flamed by some. And we wonder why guys just ignore. Because it seems they are damned if they do, damned if they don't.

:::golf clap:::

pdx, you are my hero today. So you get some ass in a random bathroom and you turn into yoda?!

[Deleted]

Dec 7, 2012 13:32:25 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

:::golf clap:::

pdx, you are my hero today. So you get some ass in a random bathroom and you turn into yoda?!

Hahahaha pretty much. Gettin some does wonders for my state of mind:) I think my coworkers have noticed how happy am I today. I mean it's 10:30 and I've yet to drop an f-bomb or threaten to fire a client.

[Deleted]

Dec 7, 2012 13:39:43 GMT -5 @redvelvet29 said:

Dec 7, 2012 13:13:31 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I think everyone is being really hard on this guy. Yes I feel bad for RV that he wasn't as into her as she was into him. But I think he handled this very nicely and politely. He doesn't suck.

I think it's perfectly reasonable he had a great time with RV, but met someone he had a better time with. It seems reasonable to not waste RV's time. And while I coined "shiny object" theory, I don't think this is necessarily this guy's case. He didn't say "I don't want to date you because I want to see if there is something else out there." He simply met someone he likes better.

He did exactly what we all say we wish dates who weren't interested would do and now he's getting flamed by some. And we wonder why guys just ignore. Because it seems they are damned if they do, damned if they don't.

oh yeah.. it's fine. He was nice and let me know he wasn't interested. Definatley better than the no response route.

I am not really upset with the guy or what he said... more just sad that he wasn't interested in getting to know me more. We had so much in common that it would have been interesting to have another date but it's not like I was super into him or anything. I know better than to get my hopes up or think that a good first date means anything..lol. At least he was nice and normal so there is hope!

But it's not meant to be and that's fine.

Totally. I actually think you were handling it really well. My comment is more directed to some of the responses you got. I'm really sorry though! I know it totally sucks and I know what it's like to get hopes up and then being let down. BOO!

[winecat]

Dec 7, 2012 13:13:31 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I think everyone is being really hard on this guy. Yes I feel bad for RV that he wasn't as into her as she was into him. But I think he handled this very nicely and politely. He doesn't suck.

I think it's perfectly reasonable he had a great time with RV, but met someone he had a better time with. It seems reasonable to not waste RV's time. And while I coined "shiny object" theory, I don't think this is necessarily this guy's case. He didn't say "I don't want to date you because I want to see if there is something else out there." He simply met someone he likes better.

He did exactly what we all say we wish dates who weren't interested would do and now he's getting flamed by some. And we wonder why guys just ignore. Because it seems they are damned if they do, damned if they don't.

I don't think I was flaming him. I think that shiny object syndrome can be fairy typical when first starting to date online. There seem to be so many options! But like RV said, they had a lot in common and had a good time which you know is unusual in dating in general and I think especially with online dating. In my mind it was more a timing issue than anything else so I wasn't faulting him.

[redredwine]

Dec 7, 2012 13:13:31 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I think everyone is being really hard on this guy. Yes I feel bad for RV that he wasn't as into her as she was into him. But I think he handled this very nicely and politely. He doesn't suck.

I think it's perfectly reasonable he had a great time with RV, but met someone he had a better time with. It seems reasonable to not waste RV's time. And while I coined "shiny object" theory, I don't think this is necessarily this guy's case. He didn't say "I don't want to date you because I want to see if there is something else out there." He simply met someone he likes better.

He did exactly what we all say we wish dates who weren't interested would do and now he's getting flamed by some. And we wonder why guys just ignore. Because it seems they are damned if they do, damned if they don't.

I think this is so perfectly said.

I go back to my original response-at least he texted you back. That's really all I ask if a guy isn't into me.

[redredwine]

My guess is that he was just being nice and letting you down gently.

I'd even take that over no response, personally.

And regardless, it still sucks.

[Deleted]

Dec 7, 2012 14:17:55 GMT -5 @redvelvet29 said:

But if he met someone better in the last two days and isn't going to be dating anyone else why is he constantly on match? Wouldn't he take his profile down or not log in?

First stop overanalyzing all of this:) But I think simply put you had a better time than he. Maybe he met someone he likes better than you, but it isn't necessarily "the one." Or maybe that girl declined him. Or maybe he made it all up. Either way he just wasn't that into you and I think he handled it gracefully.

ETA: I'm still REALLY sorry. It's no fun to be rejected.

[blackkitty]

Dec 7, 2012 10:51:21 GMT -5 gozf said:

Sorry, RV.

...I want BlackKitty to tell my fortune! What do you see for me, BK???

If I end up in Philly I promise an in person reading for you!!

[gozf]

Dec 10, 2012 17:20:43 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Dec 7, 2012 10:51:21 GMT -5 gozf said:

Sorry, RV.

...I want BlackKitty to tell my fortune! What do you see for me, BK???

If I end up in Philly I promise an in person reading for you!!

Yesssssssssssss!