s/o wills--proxies, POA, etc

[achase123]

Well I've had plenty of clients who have children, assets, etc and they still haven't gotten it done. I think it's great you're thinking about doing it and I'm a huge advocate for it. I think you're probably more on top of it than a lot of people because of your profession and knowledge of the area.

[turtle1120]

It wasn't on my radar when I was single with no kids. My DD is two now and I REALLY need to get my butt in gear and take care of all of this stuff. It's on my list for the new year. I'm going to use a portion of my tax return to get my will and all of the other good stuff drawn up.

[turtle1120]

Dec 7, 2012 10:09:14 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Dec 7, 2012 10:03:45 GMT -5 turtle1120 said:

It wasn't on my radar when I was single with no kids. My DD is two now and I REALLY need to get my butt in gear and take care of all of this stuff. It's on my list for the new year. I'm going to use a portion of my tax return to get my will and all of the other good stuff drawn up.

Check with your state because a lot of these things are free to do and don't require filing. For me an advance directive (wishes about what I want done with my body in case of incapacity and organ donation) is a simple form that just needs two witnesses and to be given to the person I designate and maybe my doctor and a good friend who will know if I become incapacitated.

Mine's going to be a little more complicated, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to pay for it. Like Achase, I have sole physical and legal custody and I plan to state my wishes to leave DD to my parents and not her dad. I'll also need to set up a trust for her, etc. I don't think I'd be able to get that done for free.

[bonuts]

Yes, I have a will and an advance health care directive that specifies end-of-life decisions. I need to change them all now, but it is important to me. I also have unusual requests that I know my family would not choose on their own.

[roselis]

I know my aunt can do it, as she has drawn up these kinds of documents for family members. I know she isn't a lawyer, and is a notary, but not sure what else.
I'm planning to make a list of my requests and then going to her to see what I all need to do.
I think I am going to make my youngest brother my executor of my estate, with explicit instructions that is to be used for A. Organs to all be donated, cremated, etc. I think I have a DNR on file with my local hospitals from when I had surgery years ago. It's been commented on several times.

[aliciar6]

I re-wrote mine as soon as I got divorced. I have a will and a living will. (I just used the same wording and format as my ones the military wrote for me when I deployed)

Now I have to re-write them again, I have them drafted, just need to review with B and get them notarized.

[bonuts]

Well, for the more common issues, I don't think my mom/H would ever "pull the plug" early. Ever. They just have different preferences. My STBXH (I think I should start using this term) wants every single life saving measure taken twice. He is not an organ donor. I would rather not have any extreme measures taken.

But the main issue surrounds burial. Presently, it states for me to be cremated, but I have been looking into the green burial/eco-cemeteries and would prefer that.

Hopefully I didn't just out myself as freak.


ETA: For organ donation, I also have it set up so that they can literally have whatever they would be able to use. This decision really bothers my STBX/mom/dad.

[kaneen]

I'm also single with no kids and I've been thinking about this as well. I'm not really concerned that my family wouldn't know/honor my wishes in regards to life saving measures/donation/burial issues but I think just having a legal document would make things easier for them. This way they wouldn't even need to consider any of these decisions, they could just follow the legal directive.

[udscoobychick]

I don't have one. I will probably get one done once FI and I get married. I would want to know what his wishes are, too.

[udscoobychick]

Dec 7, 2012 10:50:59 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Dec 7, 2012 10:49:51 GMT -5 udscoobychick said:

I don't have one. I will probably get one done once FI and I get married. I would want to know what his wishes are, too.

I would especially do this because your parents have issues with him. I'd hate for them to be butting heads at such a horrible time

That's a good point.

[udscoobychick]

Dec 7, 2012 10:53:35 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Dec 7, 2012 10:52:43 GMT -5 udscoobychick said:

That's a good point.

Sorry, I know it's awful to mention. I remember Terry Shiavo and the fight between her H and parents and that's why these things are so important!

No, I appreciate you mentioning it! I followed that case closely.

[Bernadine]

I probably should. I did change my life insurance and retirement plan beneficiaries to be my sisters. I think my family knows my feelings on end of life situations.

[spindle92]

All of my brothers and sisters and I have one. My father made us get them as we are all in line for large inheritances.

[dakotadangerdog]

I had life insurance for a while, but never a living will or will or anything. Everything would go to my momma! And I'd want to donate all organs and be cremated. I'd be okay with being a veg for only as long as is reasonable, once my chances of waking up are too slim then just pull the plug. I don't want to be on a ventilator for 5 years, and even if I woke up after that wouldn't that like totally suck?

[spindle92]

Dec 7, 2012 14:40:34 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Dec 7, 2012 13:41:14 GMT -5 spindle92 said:

All of my brothers and sisters and I have one. My father made us get them as we are all in line for large inheritances.

So, um, do you like girls? I give great massages and bake

I may have to switch teams if my prospects do not start looking up.

[Deleted]

I have started thinking about this recently (married with no kids). H knows how I feel about these things but what if we are in an accident together? I would want my assets to go to my nephew (my brother until nephew turns 18).

Plus even if something happens to me and NOT H would assest I have that are in my name and not his (house and 2 cars) automatically go to H or would it have to go through probabte?

[Deleted]

Well, advanced care directives are free..the forms are given out in hospitals etc or probably downloadable and need witnesses.
I have one (although I don't know where the hell it is) that states if I'm brain dead or terminally ill, with no hopes of full recovery that I do not want artificial ventilation or nutrition--only maximum pain control. I don't have children, so my mom is listed as my beneficiary on my tax deferred annuity and life insurance policy. I don't currently own property so that's a non issue.

ETA: I work in a hospital and we see people suffering on life support ALL the time. It is horrendous and inhumane. Why families do this?? They can't let go.
All of my coworkers have a pact....if any of us end up like that, we vow to smother the person with a pillow. . All jokes aside though, it's important to know a persons wishes.

[Deleted]

Dec 7, 2012 20:10:16 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Dec 7, 2012 20:02:42 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

Well, advanced care directives are free..the forms are given out in hospitals etc or probably downloadable and need witnesses.
I have one (although I don't know where the hell it is) that states if I'm brain dead or terminally ill, with no hopes of full recovery that I do not want artificial ventilation or nutrition--only maximum pain control. I don't have children, so my mom is listed as my beneficiary on my tax deferred annuity and life insurance policy. I don't currently own property so that's a non issue.

ETA: I work in a hospital and we see people suffering on life support ALL the time. It is horrendous and inhumane. Why families do this?? They can't let go.
All of my coworkers have a pact....if any of us end up like that, we vow to smother the person with a pillow. . All jokes aside though, it's important to know a persons wishes.

Yeah, I witnessed my grandfather go from being hit in a car accident, losing a leg, going septic and finally dying of congestive heart failure so I am very pro-directive. My friend sent me the NJ paperwork.

I talked to my mom today and she wasn't happy but sat there enough to listen and said she wants to execute one as well.

Good, I'm glad mom is on the same page. Like it or not, it's gotta be done.
My grandma is 95 in a nursing home with dementia. She was good until she was 90. A very fiesty little old lady...signed a DNR/DNI when she was 80-- she said "dont do that shit to me or i will haunt you!". Now she doesn't recognize us. But physically, she's not really ill. She's lost some weight because she lacks appetite and right away they wanted to put in a feeding tube. I'm her health care proxy-- I refused. When it's her time, it's her time...breaks my heart, but she just isn't there anymore...why extend suffering?

[doriswe]

Please please please everyone make a power of attorney for health care and finance. I've seen the ugly court battles when they have not been in place. They're easy and most of the time free (and online)

[BookLover]

I do have a will. Before the the divorce, I gave POA to my parents over my kid, just to be safe in case anything were to happen to me, it was temporary however since it was through the military. I do need to get a couple of other POAs set up sometime.