2+ moms, youngest child syndrome?

[biblionerd]

Is this what they mean/why the youngest is always the baby? I know at this age Linus seemed like such a big boy and I see her getting older, but she still seems like such a baby to me. Shes not behind in anything, but she still just seems like such a baby! I definitely didn't feel this way with ds so I don't know if its because I always have him who is older so she does always seem like a baby. She's also so snuggly and he never was so he was never a hold and cuddle baby and always seemed so independent and she just loves cuddling. Is this the youngest child deal or am I just a weirdo??

[thedahliharpa]

I almost was going to post something similar but kind of flameful so I didn't. But yes, will D always be the BABY?

[charlielove]

Hmmm....I definitely think I appreciate her babyness a lot more, I'm in no rush for her to get to the next milestone. I remember when Claire turned one, I thought she was such a big girl. I look back and think, no she was still a baby! I think this time I am going to hold onto that for as long as I can.

[fusion]

Dec 8, 2012 14:01:16 GMT -5 charlielove said:

Hmmm....I definitely think I appreciate her babyness a lot more, I'm in no rush for her to get to the next milestone. I remember when Claire turned one, I thought she was such a big girl. I look back and think, no she was still a baby! I think this time I am going to hold onto that for as long as I can.

ditto this, and also my two have very different personalities. Anna just seems more content as a baby, while Jameson just needed to be moving and interacting constantly. We are going to TTC #3 soon though, so it will be interesting to see how the dynamic changes.

[biblionerd]

Dec 8, 2012 13:53:36 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

I almost was going to post something similar but kind of flameful so I didn't. But yes, will D always be the BABY?

I'm wondering what was flameful??

[thedahliharpa]

Dec 9, 2012 2:00:36 GMT -5 biblionerd said:

Dec 8, 2012 13:53:36 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

I almost was going to post something similar but kind of flameful so I didn't. But yes, will D always be the BABY?

I'm wondering what was flameful??

Nothing in your post but I've been having flammable thoughts of favoritism.

[musiclover]

This is interesting. I felt like since we took so long to have N, that Adam was our baby until he was 3.5, lol. When N came home from the hospital, I swear all of a sudden Adam no longer looked babyish AT ALL. Unfortunately N already looks so mature

[charlielove]

dahli, definitely interested to hear what you have to say about that topic. You'll get no flames from me, promise!

[fusion]

Dec 9, 2012 11:23:41 GMT -5 charlielove said:

dahli, definitely interested to hear what you have to say about that topic. You'll get no flames from me, promise!

I'm curious too.

[thedahliharpa]

Dec 9, 2012 11:23:41 GMT -5 charlielove said:

dahli, definitely interested to hear what you have to say about that topic. You'll get no flames from me, promise!

I'm not quite sure as I'm still processing the feelings. I just feel more connected to D right now. I am physically more connected
All.the.time. Because of BFing, I spend way more time with her than I ever have with H because of my new work arrangement, and it is just so much easier. Everything makes D happy vs. everything upsetting H. I keep wondering if I will always feel this way or if when D is 18mos and crazy if I will prefer my hopefully mellowed out 4.5 year old. Or, will D always be easier than H simply because it is the second time around? And if so will I always favor her because it is easier and flatters my mom ego?
Something like that...I don't know! :-) I am trying to figure out what the heck "I love them equally but have different relationships with each child" really means to me.

[charlielove]

Dec 9, 2012 12:00:24 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

Dec 9, 2012 11:23:41 GMT -5 charlielove said:

dahli, definitely interested to hear what you have to say about that topic. You'll get no flames from me, promise!

I'm not quite sure as I'm still processing the feelings. I just feel more connected to D right now. I am physically more connected
All.the.time. Because of BFing, I spend way more time with her than I ever have with H because of my new work arrangement, and it is just so much easier. Everything makes D happy vs. everything upsetting H. I keep wondering if I will always feel this way or if when D is 18mos and crazy if I will prefer my hopefully mellowed out 4.5 year old. Or, will D always be easier than H simply because it is the second time around? And if so will I always favor her because it is easier and flatters my mom ego?
Something like that...I don't know! :-) I am trying to figure out what the heck "I love them equally but have different relationships with each child" really means to me.

Oh yeah, I think this makes sense. I have had many a day that I've literally thought "DD2, you are my favorite today". lol I always tell myself that she will someday be 3, and I'll probably be favoring DD1 for being an easy (fingers crossed) 6 year old.

I think part of it may also be the newness and intense bond that we are creating with the baby too.

[musiclover]

Dahli, It's normal. There was a period of time when I somewhat resentful of DS1 (he would often, LOUDLY walk into my bedroom at 6:30am when I had just gotten N back to sleep and would wake him, thus making me super crank mom), and felt that DS2 was so much easier. I think these feelings will shift off and on throughout their lives. I have been over those feelings now that N sleeps all night and I am well rested, plus 4 year old Adam is the bomb. Our LO's can hardly do any harm right now, and our older children are in prime whiny/defiant age......it is soooo easy to favor a baby right now who does not talk back, lol. I don't let myself feel guilt over these feelings, because I know it is all circumstantial. I'm sure when N is getting into EVERYthing next year, I'll think that A is easier.
FWIW:

[joyhart02]

Dec 9, 2012 12:00:24 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

Dec 9, 2012 11:23:41 GMT -5 charlielove said:

dahli, definitely interested to hear what you have to say about that topic. You'll get no flames from me, promise!

I'm not quite sure as I'm still processing the feelings. I just feel more connected to D right now. I am physically more connected
All.the.time. Because of BFing, I spend way more time with her than I ever have with H because of my new work arrangement, and it is just so much easier. Everything makes D happy vs. everything upsetting H. I keep wondering if I will always feel this way or if when D is 18mos and crazy if I will prefer my hopefully mellowed out 4.5 year old. Or, will D always be easier than H simply because it is the second time around? And if so will I always favor her because it is easier and flatters my mom ego?
Something like that...I don't know! :-) I am trying to figure out what the heck "I love them equally but have different relationships with each child" really means to me.

I have somewhat felt this way too. I am so connected to C right now with bf and night time and stuff I feel bad about my relationship with L. You are not alone in your feelings! Plus I was just thinking how small C is and how I felt L was so much bigger at this age when in actuality they are the exact same size.

[biblionerd]

Dec 9, 2012 12:00:24 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

Dec 9, 2012 11:23:41 GMT -5 charlielove said:

dahli, definitely interested to hear what you have to say about that topic. You'll get no flames from me, promise!

I'm not quite sure as I'm still processing the feelings. I just feel more connected to D right now. I am physically more connected
All.the.time. Because of BFing, I spend way more time with her than I ever have with H because of my new work arrangement, and it is just so much easier. Everything makes D happy vs. everything upsetting H. I keep wondering if I will always feel this way or if when D is 18mos and crazy if I will prefer my hopefully mellowed out 4.5 year old. Or, will D always be easier than H simply because it is the second time around? And if so will I always favor her because it is easier and flatters my mom ego?
Something like that...I don't know! :-) I am trying to figure out what the heck "I love them equally but have different relationships with each child" really means to me.

I think that's totally normal- or I hope so at least!!! Mine's almost been the opposite. I'm just not good with the new baby thing so I felt like I had a much better bond with ds and could just get along with him better. On the other hand she is soooo easygoing that I find myself frustrated with ds when he's being a typical toddler. I almost feel like he's going to constantly overshadow her and it makes me sad. It makes me feel sad that I feel that way though- like he has all of the firsts so hers aren't as exciting. I mean, they ARE exciting because she's doing them, but I experience everything first with him kwim? So I'm just afraid that I will always have this weird relationship difference between them one way or the other.