I get what you're saying, but it is possible to not be an asshole about personal lifestyle choices. I'm giving a big side-eye to the opinion that teetotalers = giant fun-sucks that can't enjoy things.
I don't see anywhere where people said that people who don't drink can't be fun or enjoy things? I think if people want to be able to drink with their partners that should be fine. Just like someone who doesn't want to date short guys. It's their preference.
Because this is a ridiculously petty thing to be so insistent about.
It seems to me that there are a handful of posters who latch onto a number of largely insignificant details, and systematically eliminate prospects. And those same people complain about a lack of said prospects. It irks me. It's been irking me, and this thread is my tipping point.
I sometimes feel this way on the board too. I get everyone has deal breakers and it's good to know those and understand why they are deal breakers to you but IDK sometimes I feel like people on here look for red flags and creepy behavior just for kicks. I mean everyone has red flags and everything can be made creepy if you want to. I don't know, as someone who dates oddball kind of guys who are absolutely awesome, I feel like some people really get hung up on details that really really won't matter in a marriage or years from now. But again, everyone has a right to want the details they want but I think it's important to ask yourself why these things are some important and is you are operating on mistaken assumptions.
I get what you're saying, but it is possible to not be an asshole about personal lifestyle choices. I'm giving a big side-eye to the opinion that teetotalers = giant fun-sucks that can't enjoy things.
I don't see anywhere where people said that people who don't drink can't be fun or enjoy things? I think if people want to be able to drink with their partners that should be fine. Just like someone who doesn't want to date short guys. It's their preference.
People mentioned they cant have fun at certain events and it was sort of insinuated in general, just my point of view from this thread.
I don't see anywhere where people said that people who don't drink can't be fun or enjoy things? I think if people want to be able to drink with their partners that should be fine. Just like someone who doesn't want to date short guys. It's their preference.
People mentioned they cant have fun at certain events and it was sort of insinuated in general, just my point of view from this thread.
Gotcha. I didn't read them all in depth. I know that's not my personal reason why I wouldn't date a nondrinker.
People mentioned they cant have fun at certain events and it was sort of insinuated in general, just my point of view from this thread.
Gotcha. I didn't read them all in depth. I know that's not my personal reason why I wouldn't date a nondrinker.
I didn't say that they "couldn't have fun" but that we wouldn't be sharing the experience in the same way and talk about it. I'm the type that would remember and want to talk about how great XYZ wine went with the scallops. I'd taste the dish with and without the wine to compare the wine, the food and the combination.
Where I live, so many people are outdoorsy and I've learned that most only want to date outdoorsy people. Nobody gives them the side eye on that requirement. When I was young, I thought it would be perfect because the guy would be able to go out with his buddies and I'd be happy as a clam cooking an amazing dinner for when they returned. It wasn't what the outdoorsy guys I found would want.
I had a hang-up about video games when I started dating. I got shit for it. It took me a bit to realize that it wasn't video games that I hated, it was my XH who happened to play video games.
To be clear, someone being a non-drinker is not a dealbreaker for me. And I'm a pretty big drinker. I just didn't understand why it was pissing everyone off so much. Now I do.
I don't see anywhere where people said that people who don't drink can't be fun or enjoy things? I think if people want to be able to drink with their partners that should be fine. Just like someone who doesn't want to date short guys. It's their preference.
I don't think people that don't drink aren't fun or can't be fun at all. I just want a partner that enjoys drinking wine and beer like I do. I don't see it as any different than another hobby you want to enjoy with your partner... lots of guys are looking for girls that want to go mountain biking with them. I am scared of mountain biking and I wouldn't be a good partner for someone who loves it and wants to enjoy this activity with their partner. It doesn't make either of us less fun, just not compatible.
Eh, to each their own but I dont think its the same. Like GOZ said earlier, you can still do certain activities/hobbies with a friend instead of a SO. Like I run and do crossfit which are both very important parts of my life, but I dont require a potential SO to do either, just that they be supportive. Both these activities take up quite a bit of my free time and I dont mind. but the drinking thing can still be done with a SO even if they dont drink. Its not like they have to stay home like my future SO would when I run or crossfit.
I had a hang-up about video games when I started dating. I got shit for it. It took me a bit to realize that it wasn't video games that I hated, it was my XH who happened to play video games.
Yea I had a similar issue with them too. If thats how a guy wants to enjoy his free time and relax, then thats fine as long as they arent obsessive with it. I choose to read/run/watch TV, to each their own.
I don't think people that don't drink aren't fun or can't be fun at all. I just want a partner that enjoys drinking wine and beer like I do. I don't see it as any different than another hobby you want to enjoy with your partner... lots of guys are looking for girls that want to go mountain biking with them. I am scared of mountain biking and I wouldn't be a good partner for someone who loves it and wants to enjoy this activity with their partner. It doesn't make either of us less fun, just not compatible.
Eh, to each their own but I dont think its the same. Like GOZ said earlier, you can still do certain activities/hobbies with a friend instead of a SO. Like I run and do crossfit which are both very important parts of my life, but I dont require a potential SO to do either, just that they be supportive. Both these activities take up quite a bit of my free time and I dont mind. but the drinking thing can still be done with a SO even if they dont drink. Its not like they have to stay home like my future SO would when I run or crossfit.
I was seriously going to write out the same response. I would love to find a guy that runs but if they are awesome and a non-runner, I would totally date them as long as they were supportive of me.
Because this is a ridiculously petty thing to be so insistent about.
It seems to me that there are a handful of posters who latch onto a number of largely insignificant details, and systematically eliminate prospects. And those same people complain about a lack of said prospects. It irks me. It's been irking me, and this thread is my tipping point.
I sometimes feel this way on the board too. I get everyone has deal breakers and it's good to know those and understand why they are deal breakers to you but IDK sometimes I feel like people on here look for red flags and creepy behavior just for kicks. I mean everyone has red flags and everything can be made creepy if you want to. I don't know, as someone who dates oddball kind of guys who are absolutely awesome, I feel like some people really get hung up on details that really really won't matter in a marriage or years from now. But again, everyone has a right to want the details they want but I think it's important to ask yourself why these things are some important and is you are operating on mistaken assumptions.