This is a good thing. Tell me how good this is.

[gozf]

Remember, a while back, I posted about one of Thor's exes, who is effortlessly beautiful and remarkably well-educated and very kind and living an exciting life abroad, etc? And how that while I know she's not a threat, her mere existence makes me feel a little insecure, and you all were like, "ack, GOZF has feelings, too!"

Well. She and her boyfriend broke up, and she's moving back here. This week.

I am a little weird about this, even though I have zero reason to be! The idea of this fabulous creature living in the same area as me is harder to swallow than the idea of her in another country. Again, I am fully aware that I'm being stupid about this!

She has told Thor that she wants to meet me, and that I sound like a good woman.

I want to meet her too. Because that'll help, when she's a real live person in front of me, instead of this mythological creature who has been prancing around in my head, like some crazy Pegasus/Unicorn/Aphrodite hybid. But I'm nervous, and I want her to like me, and when I'm nervous and want someone to like me I usually get really awkward and unlikeable.

Can someone give me a Xanax? I think I need a Xanax.

[prettyinpearls]

I’m willing to bet she’s probably just as freaked out as you are, considering all the awesome stuff Thor has likely told her about you. She’s an ex for a reason…remember that!!

[gozf]

Dec 11, 2012 10:56:37 GMT -5 prettyinpearls said:

I’m willing to bet she’s probably just as freaked out as you are, considering all the awesome stuff Thor has likely told her about you. She’s an ex for a reason…remember that!!

It's true. I know this.

I'm not worried about some kind of weird rekindling of feelings. They've been done for over 5 years.

This is a terrible, vain confession. But I'm gonna admit it anyway.

So. I know I'm smart. And I know I'm pretty. I'm not blow you out of the water smart or pretty, but I do well in both arenas. And generally, if someone is prettier than me, odds are that I'm smarter. And if someone's smarter, I'm generally prettier. Like, I'm used to having SOMETHING. I'm used to some kind of balance! I've got nothing on this person. She's truly superlative. I might have bigger boobs. That might be it. Boobs.

So, yeah. I know it's not a competition. I shouldn't be insecure about this, BUT I AM! It's uncontrollable!

[gozf]

Thank you, MCC.

It feels like you are hugging me with your words. I like a good word hug.

[jojoandleo]

Dec 11, 2012 11:02:02 GMT -5 gozf said:

Dec 11, 2012 10:56:37 GMT -5 prettyinpearls said:

I’m willing to bet she’s probably just as freaked out as you are, considering all the awesome stuff Thor has likely told her about you. She’s an ex for a reason…remember that!!

It's true. I know this.

I'm not worried about some kind of weird rekindling of feelings. They've been done for over 5 years.

This is a terrible, vain confession. But I'm gonna admit it anyway.

So. I know I'm smart. And I know I'm pretty. I'm not blow you out of the water smart or pretty, but I do well in both arenas. And generally, if someone is prettier than me, odds are that I'm smarter. And if someone's smarter, I'm generally prettier. Like, I'm used to having SOMETHING. I'm used to some kind of balance! I've got nothing on this person. She's truly superlative. I might have bigger boobs. That might be it. Boobs.

So, yeah. I know it's not a competition. I shouldn't be insecure about this, BUT I AM! It's uncontrollable!

I feel you. I run this play in my head too. My sister is prettier, but I'm the smart one; My law school friend is smarter, but I'm a bit prettier.

There was this girl in school that I just decided MUST be a bitch because she is SUPER smart (ranked in the top 10 pople NOT percent) and she is super cute and she was uber involved, so I just decided to label her a bitch. Well, we had a class together this semester and it turns out, she is fucking awesome! I was super awkward the first time I "met" her, but she dug it! Now, we are totally friends and so alike and I am so glad I let down my insecurity wall of "But she has EVERYTHING!" because we click.

So, maybe you will be awkward, but maybe she will dig it and you guys will be BFF!

[gozf]

I would like to be her friend. She seems like the kind of person whose friendship I'd seek out. I wouldn't even sabotage her by telling her she looked great in an unflattering lipstick or by putting signs on her back. Nope. I would not do those things.

Seriously, though. She sounds like an awesome person. I just hope she thinks I'm one, too.

[gozf]

MCC, we should totally meet up one of these days. I don't think we're far! Maybe after the holiday season?

MAYBE YOU CAN MEET HER TOO, AFTER I CHARM HER SOCKS OFF!

[jojoandleo]

Dec 11, 2012 11:10:11 GMT -5 gozf said:

I would like to be her friend. She seems like the kind of person whose friendship I'd seek out. I wouldn't even sabotage her by telling her she looked great in an unflattering lipstick or by putting signs on her back. Nope. I would not do those things.

Seriously, though. She sounds like an awesome person. I just hope she thinks I'm one, too.

She will. Trust. I am totally awkward when I first meet people, and say really weird and random shit just because it pops into my head. Then i go home and replay everything I said in my head all "Gah! THAT was dumb!" BUT, then the people who like me are true friends rather than people I was fake in front of just to get them to like me.

[gozf]

Jojo, do you do the nervous chatter thing, too? I just yap and yap and say weird stuff and admit strange things about myself while giggling uncontrollably. Either that, or I go into interview mode and ask a million questions, like I'm Diane Fuckin' Sawyer.

[gozf]

I am stoked for a MCC date!

[jojoandleo]

Dec 11, 2012 11:15:56 GMT -5 gozf said:

Jojo, do you do the nervous chatter thing, too? I just yap and yap and say weird stuff and admit strange things about myself while giggling uncontrollably. Either that, or I go into interview mode and ask a million questions, like I'm Diane Fuckin' Sawyer.

Stream of consious talk, "Oh Hi! Nice to meet you! I see you are a blonde. Have you ever seen that movie Earth Girls Are Easy? They have that song? I'm a blonde B-L-I-N-D. Not that i am calling you dumb, it's a funny song, like that hippopotamus song about Chistmas? I'm not a big Christmas music fan, I mean, how many times can You hear All I want for Christmas is You? And who doesn't want stuff, ummm, what were we talking about?"

[jojoandleo]

Dec 11, 2012 11:26:29 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Dec 11, 2012 11:21:41 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Stream of consious talk, "Oh Hi! Nice to meet you! I see you are a blonde. Have you ever seen that movie Earth Girls Are Easy? They have that song? I'm a blonde B-L-I-N-D. Not that i am calling you dumb, it's a funny song, like that hippopotamus song about Chistmas? I'm not a big Christmas music fan, I mean, how many times can You hear All I want for Christmas is You? And who doesn't want stuff, ummm, what were we talking about?"

I do the nervous chatter. It often happens when dates ask about my divorce and I go on and on and on and in my head I'm all "Shut the fuck up, MCC" but the verbal diarrhea just keeps flowing and I can't stop it. Then suddenly I'll stop and be like, "So yeah, that's that" and my date is all

I have literally talked about diarrhea when I first met a person and about how eating yogurt every day has real helped with my ass-ripping poops. :-| I separate the weak from the strong early, yo.

[gozf]

lolol. I love you guys.

Is it just slow in here, or did I really piss everyone off yesterday???

[achase123]

Dec 11, 2012 11:26:29 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Dec 11, 2012 11:21:41 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Stream of consious talk, "Oh Hi! Nice to meet you! I see you are a blonde. Have you ever seen that movie Earth Girls Are Easy? They have that song? I'm a blonde B-L-I-N-D. Not that i am calling you dumb, it's a funny song, like that hippopotamus song about Chistmas? I'm not a big Christmas music fan, I mean, how many times can You hear All I want for Christmas is You? And who doesn't want stuff, ummm, what were we talking about?"

I do the nervous chatter. It often happens when dates ask about my divorce and I go on and on and on and in my head I'm all "Shut the fuck up, MCC" but the verbal diarrhea just keeps flowing and I can't stop it. Then suddenly I'll stop and be like, "So yeah, that's that" and my date is all

Haha!!! I do ANYTHING I can think of to avoid the dreaded "awkward silence" on a date. Including yammering on about nothing at all. I generally go into the oversharing when things get really awkward and I'm struggling for conversation. But I figure that it serves two purposes: avoid the silence and solidify that there won't be a second date (because if there are lots of pauses and I can't think of what to talk about next there prob shouldn't be a second date).

[bostonterrier]

Late to the party, but.... If it is a competition, YOU WIN!!! You have Thor, right? And as someone who's never met you, you sound beautiful, witty, and intriguing. She should be intimidated by your awesome, even if she farts butterflies.

[gozf]

Dec 11, 2012 11:51:02 GMT -5 bostonterrier said:

Late to the party, but.... If it is a competition, YOU WIN!!! You have Thor, right? And as someone who's never met you, you sound beautiful, witty, and intriguing. She should be intimidated by your awesome, even if she farts butterflies.

You are a lovely person. Let's be best friends.

[jojoandleo]

Post some pics, Gozf, and we will ooh and aww and tell you you have pretty hair (because you do). Oh, and bigger boobs always win, unless you are dating an ass man.

[Bernadine]

As someone who has met you, you are beautiful, witty, and intriguing!

I get where you're coming from, but really, it will be fine, and I bet the two of you will get along great!

[bostonterrier]

Dec 11, 2012 11:52:09 GMT -5 gozf said:

Dec 11, 2012 11:51:02 GMT -5 bostonterrier said:

Late to the party, but.... If it is a competition, YOU WIN!!! You have Thor, right? And as someone who's never met you, you sound beautiful, witty, and intriguing. She should be intimidated by your awesome, even if she farts butterflies.

You are a lovely person. Let's be best friends.

Agreed!!

[kaneen]

You're awesome and if she can't see that then she is STEWPID. I know this because I think you are awesome and I am alwasy right.

[kaneen]

Oh, and I spelled stewpid wrong on purpose but not alwasy...that was a typo because apparently, I am stewpid. ;-)

[formerlyak]

I had lunch with one of fi's exs who I was intimidated by (beautiful, smart, good job). Funny thing was, when I was sitting right there talking with her, I quickly realized why fi and this girl were not a good match and why they were better as friends. I also noticed her doing lot of "nervous tick" kind of things -- not looking me straight in the eye, playing with her hair, fake nervous laugh. It made me realize that she was just as intimidated to meet me as I was to meet her.

After that lunch, she actually stopped contacting fi. My theory, based on a lot of her other contact with him, is that she kind of always saw him as a back up guy and when she met me and saw us together, she knew that was no longer an option, so she backed off on her own.

You are awesome and you are the right match for Thor ... if she's as smart as you make her out to be, she will see that, too.

[Deleted]

This reminds me of when Carrie is trying to upstage Natasha in Sex and the City and then this scene happens. Obviously you are the fabulous Carrie in this scene.

[bowies]

I bet in her parallel universe she's saying all the same things about you. Imagine just breaking up with a boyfriend and going to lunch with a previous ex and his GF who has a great career and models/acts on the side.

If she is the epitome of kindness as you say she is, then she will want to see Thor happy, and he is.

[winecat]

Dec 11, 2012 11:32:05 GMT -5 gozf said:

lolol. I love you guys.

Is it just slow in here, or did I really piss everyone off yesterday???

I was just reading and eating breakfast (which is the best damn yogurt evah!) This whole thread had me laughing.

[bullygirl979]

Dec 11, 2012 12:26:55 GMT -5 bowies said:

I bet in her parallel universe she's saying all the same things about you. Imagine just breaking up with a boyfriend and going to lunch with a previous ex and his GF who has a great career and models/acts on the side.

If she is the epitome of kindness as you say she is, then she will want to see Thor happy, and he is.

This!!

GOZF, you are nothing less than fabulous. And if she doesn't see that, then she truly is an ignorant asshole...in which case, you win!

[starburst604]

Dec 11, 2012 12:18:00 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

This reminds me of when Carrie is trying to upstage Natasha in Sex and the City and then this scene happens. Obviously you are the fabulous Carrie in this scene.

YES!!

[gozf]

You guys are the nicest!

/twirls

[bullygirl979]

If she were on this board, her siggy pic wouldn't be nearly as cool as yours.

GOZF rules.

/gavel

[gozf]

Dec 11, 2012 12:38:49 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

If she were on this board, her siggy pic wouldn't be nearly as cool as yours.

GOZF rules.

/gavel

Yessssssss.

And if she doesn't like me, I can say, "Whatever! Who needs you???I am very well-liked on the interweb!"