Jewish moms/raising kids Jewish

[Deleted]

How much Jewish education are you giving your pre-schoolers? I'm especially interested if they don't go to Jewish preschool/daycare.

I love my daycare and I don't think I am going to pull her, but save for making stars of David and playing with dreidels, they dont give Jewish education and I can't expect a secular daycare to do so. So I know it will be up to me to really push the Jewish education.

Should I join a temple now? I was going to wait until she was Hebrew School aged but maybe I should change my mind. or re-join the JCC?

Any books/music/shows you recommend?

I just don't want her to be solely enamored by Christmas. We are celebrating both and I know its much easier to be swept into the Christmas season (which I enjoy very much) but I want to make sure she gets enough Jewish education as well.

[Deleted]

I used to love Shalom Sesame as a kid. They are expensive on amazon, I'm going to see if my library has them.

[marclovesme]

We are members of a temple and even though DD isn't quite 2, we have taken her to kids events for Purim, Sukkot and Hannukah. Daycare does a little for Hannukah, but nothing else. If our local JCC was closer we'd probably do that instead.

Otherwise, we don't do much at home like lighting candles, etc. though we do the holidays and DD has some books on Hannukah and Passover.

[hocus]

We're using a Jewish program now and will continue to do so until the kids go to public school. I have mixed feelings about all this since we're practically non-practicing, though I consider my Jewish identity fairly important to me. I'd like to be more practicing, but DH is not interested. Our local reform synagogue seemed promising but I hated the rabbi (and what DH though of him is not printable here). So we're essentially giving the kids a fairly traditional training at a conservative leaning to traditional places. At home we sometimes have a challah on Friday nights, we do some of the home rituals (e.g. lighting the menorah) but not much else.

If you want to lightly enrich the experience for your kid(s) there are plenty of books on the major holidays. There is Shalom sesame DVDs and many craft ideas you can included. There are also many songs you can get. Some of the old standards are out on CD, but in the last 3 months I've heard several new ones too at various parent events. You could also join any number of synagogues. A lot of synagogues have children's services and mine also had a monthly program for the 3-4 crowd to talk about holidays and such. Our local Jewish Y often has specific stuff around the holidays as well.

[jackie011]

I'm pregnant, so not an "active" parent just yet, but I am a teacher at a JCC preschool. We haven't joined a temple yet, and probably still won't for a few years. (DH is not Jewish, but does not practice any other religion)

There are a lot of "open" events in our community, though, geared towards families with young children. I'm sure the expectation is that after you attend enough of these events you'll decide to join the various temples, but it isn't outwardly stated. Anything like that going on in your area?

[anna7602]

Dec 14, 2012 21:04:41 GMT -5 jackie011 said:

There are a lot of "open" events in our community, though, geared towards families with young children. I'm sure the expectation is that after you attend enough of these events you'll decide to join the various temples, but it isn't outwardly stated. Anything like that going on in your area?

This. I'm not Jewish, as you know, Cosmos, but DH is. When we were in NY, life was so much easier. DH took DD to Purim celebrations and other kid-friendly events that were geared at exposing as wide a number of kids to Jewish traditions, even if their parents weren't members of a synagogue. It was awesome for DD to run into friends from the neighborhood she didn't previously know were Jewish and for us to find out how many people were in mixed marriage situations like ours.

I really miss that in Catholic-landia over here. It seems like the Jewish community here is much smaller and closed and I haven't seen any open events at all.

[dumbledore826]

We are Orthodox, so our 20 m.o. son is very immersed in Judaism on a daily basis. (An example, tonight he walked over to where I keep my candle sticks/havdala stuff and said, "Abba, havdala, havdala, amen") We are not sending him to a Jewish daycare for the time being because it is cost prohibative.

Is there a Chabad near you? They are generally very open to Jews who hold at all different levels and have some great programs.

[dragonfly08]

I'm Jewish, DH isn't. I grew up in a fairly Jewish area but there aren't nearly as many Jewish families where we live now...I know for a fact that DD #2 is the only Jewish child in her kindergarten class, and I can only think of two of the girls' friends who are Jewish. The cost of joining a synagogue plus Hebrew school is just not in our budget (and again, with DH not being Jewish, making room for it isn't a priority). Both girls did have baby namings but that's where the "official" stuff ended.

I tell them about the holidays at home, and we observe as best we can. We have a little Seder for Passover, light the menorah and eat latkes and do presents for Hanukkah, have a round challah with apples and honey on Rosh Hashana, and they see me fast for Yom Kippur. I tell them stories and get books from the library as needed. I'd like to send them to Hebrew school but cost aside I'm not sure how we'd fit it in our schedule and I don't see us going through a Bat Mitzvah the way I'm accustomed to it, with a reception bigger than some weddings, etc. I don't think that's common in this area.

[Deleted]

We are atheist, but DH grew up Jewish (on a kibbutz actually) and his parents are very into cultural Judaism (they are also religious but the cultural aspect is more important to them). For me since it's not my culture, I am kind of leaving DD's Jewish education up to DH. He doesn't particularly care about it so honestly she is not getting a whole lot.

We belong to the PJ Library and we do usually read the books/listen to the music unless they are outright prayers. In 2 years only one book so far has been. We just got the Oy Baby! CD with lots of Jewish music on it and DH is able to sing a lot of the songs with DD. When her Saba and Savta (his parents) come visit they sing to her in Hebrew and watch some YouTube children's clips in Hebrew.

Honestly DH is pretty piecemeal and lazy about it and I am not sure how that will change as she grows. He will either want to talk to her about major holidays and Jewish culture, or he won't. She will certainly get a lot of it from his parents when they visit and that will be a battle--they are already wanting to bring her to Tot Shabbat at temple which we do NOT want them to do as we are not religious.

This is all fine because she is so young, but DH is going to have to do some decisionmaking as she gets older. I don't feel it is appropriate for me to interfere too much in either direction.

I am sure this post is entirely unhelpful.

[Deleted]

Dec 16, 2012 23:03:57 GMT -5 dumbledore826 said:

We are Orthodox, so our 20 m.o. son is very immersed in Judaism on a daily basis. (An example, tonight he walked over to where I keep my candle sticks/havdala stuff and said, "Abba, havdala, havdala, amen") We are not sending him to a Jewish daycare for the time being because it is cost prohibative.

Is there a Chabad near you? They are generally very open to Jews who hold at all different levels and have some great programs.

I am not interested in Chabad, at all. I find them quite stalkerish. I just got a mailing from the one from my university (where I did attend some events over 10 years ago). Mailed to my current address (not where I lived in college) to my married name (I wasnt married in college). How the hell did they get that info? I certainly didn't give it to them. (I assume they got my address because I donate to the school, but again, they arent mailing this to everyone who donates- they are targeting people they know are Jewish and how do they know I'm Jewish without some digging?)

I find their tactics to convert Jews to Orthodoxy distasteful.

/rant

[Deleted]

Dec 17, 2012 11:01:54 GMT -5 dragonfly08 said:

I'm Jewish, DH isn't. I grew up in a fairly Jewish area but there aren't nearly as many Jewish families where we live now...I know for a fact that DD #2 is the only Jewish child in her kindergarten class, and I can only think of two of the girls' friends who are Jewish. The cost of joining a synagogue plus Hebrew school is just not in our budget (and again, with DH not being Jewish, making room for it isn't a priority). Both girls did have baby namings but that's where the "official" stuff ended.

I tell them about the holidays at home, and we observe as best we can. We have a little Seder for Passover, light the menorah and eat latkes and do presents for Hanukkah, have a round challah with apples and honey on Rosh Hashana, and they see me fast for Yom Kippur. I tell them stories and get books from the library as needed. I'd like to send them to Hebrew school but cost aside I'm not sure how we'd fit it in our schedule and I don't see us going through a Bat Mitzvah the way I'm accustomed to it, with a reception bigger than some weddings, etc. I don't think that's common in this area.

Luckily I still live in a Jewish area (although not Jewishville like where I grew up)- but I'd say about 20% of the population is Jewish. There are 4 Jewish kids in her daycare class (out of 20) and the JCC is down the street, literally. So I am not worried about her being the only one.

I think we are going to re-join the JCC since its cheaper than the temple, has a gym (ha) and has a lot of "free" (for members) activities I can bring DD to.

Thanks everyone.

[Deleted]

Dec 15, 2012 4:46:36 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

Dec 14, 2012 21:04:41 GMT -5 jackie011 said:

There are a lot of "open" events in our community, though, geared towards families with young children. I'm sure the expectation is that after you attend enough of these events you'll decide to join the various temples, but it isn't outwardly stated. Anything like that going on in your area?

This. I'm not Jewish, as you know, Cosmos, but DH is. When we were in NY, life was so much easier. DH took DD to Purim celebrations and other kid-friendly events that were geared at exposing as wide a number of kids to Jewish traditions, even if their parents weren't members of a synagogue. It was awesome for DD to run into friends from the neighborhood she didn't previously know were Jewish and for us to find out how many people were in mixed marriage situations like ours.

I really miss that in Catholic-landia over here. It seems like the Jewish community here is much smaller and closed and I haven't seen any open events at all.

I havent been on the lookout for open events, but most of the JCC's events are closed to members only. (they offer classes to non-members but events like the Hanukkah party was members only).

I wish I lived in NYC, I'm sure there are a ton more things out here. I do live in a town with a larger than average Jewish population but I'm still in the boonies. Northeastern NJ, by NYC, is much more Jewish than my county.

[gmail]

Might be repeating other posters, but here are my thoughts (DS is in Jewish daycare, but we'll take that out of the equation)

Did you join PJ Library? www.pjlibrary.org/
Free Jewish children's books. We get them every month, usually about the holiday and DS loves them.

We are going to join a synagogue, now that he is old enough to interact with other kids. I saw no point in doing it while he was still an infant b/c there wasn't really anything he'd enjoy. But the one we like does Tot Shabbat and kids services, which we like. It's also a great way to connect with other young Jewish families.

That's shitty that your JCC has closed events. Way to be enticing new members! I'm honestly not a fan of the JCC b/c it's SO expensive and you still have to pay MORE for each individual program/event. But that's just me...

Have you "shul shopped" around at all? It might be nice to just look into local synagogues and see where you and your fmaily would feel most comfortable.

I was raised Conservative (kosher, synagogue every Sat, USY, etc) and DH was raised Jew-ish. So together, we make new traditions. We light candles on Friday night (most Fridays) and say the prayers/blessings for Shabbat dinner (most Fridays). We do say the Shema with DS every night before bed, and he's started reciting it with us, which is just freaking adorable. We "celebrate" the holidays with the kids services at our local synagogues (free to non members at some) or at IL's synagogue. Usually, it's just singing and crafts.

I'm still connected with some national organizations within the community, if you need some help researching specific programs in your area. You can PM me if you'd like.

[Deleted]

I did join pjlibrary but I have yet to receive any books. I did get a cd of English/Hebrew kids songs, which I liked. But no books :/

We havent shul shopped bc there is only one Reform temple within 10 minutes and I'm too lazy to drive further. There is a conservative temple right by my house but I don't want to raise her Conservative (I was also raised Conservative, was very active in USY, etc). Since DH isn't Jewish I dont think he will feel comfortable there, and my beliefs are more aligned with Reform anyway.

I'll PM you at some point, thanks!

[gmail]

Sure!

If you got the CD this month, that was the "book" for December. You'll get a book in January, I'm sure. I actually have an extra "How do Dinosaurs Celebrate Hanukkah?" book if you want. I can send it to you (I know, it's past, but still...)

Have you checked out any programs at the Reform shul? I bet you could get on their mailing list and I'm sure they have Tot Shabbat or something.

[Deleted]

Dec 18, 2012 15:22:48 GMT -5 gmail said:

Sure!

If you got the CD this month, that was the "book" for December. You'll get a book in January, I'm sure. I actually have an extra "How do Dinosaurs Celebrate Hanukkah?" book if you want. I can send it to you (I know, it's past, but still...)

Have you checked out any programs at the Reform shul? I bet you could get on their mailing list and I'm sure they have Tot Shabbat or something.

I havent. I need to do so. I've been lazy. lol.

I'd love the book! Also, silly but do you still have my copy of TCYOF? Thinking we may need it this time around. haha. Do you have my email? I'll PM you.

[gmail]

Yes, I do have it! I'm happy to send it back.

I will send both to you. PM me and we'll figure it out :-)

Just call the shul, tell them you're interested in learning more about becoming members, and ask for their newsletter.