How do you deal with negativity towards the US?

[ktkl09]

H and I are going to his parent's tomorrow to celebrate his uncle's birthday. After the tragic events of yesterday in CT, I know this is going to be the big discussion. I am dreading what will come from this discussion though, the negative view of the US that so many people in Europe have. I hate dealing with the constant criticism of the US. I know certain things need to change in the US, such as gun laws, but not everything is terrible.

H's parents aren't so bad, but some of H's friends are terrible. We left a party after the night turned to full-on American bashing. H was even uncomfortable.

Do you encounter this often? How do you deal with it?

[mrsukyankee]

I tend to turn it around if people start really getting it on - "Look, I know the States aren't perfect, but you are going above and beyond what's reasonable. There is NO country which is perfect and I know there are things you don't like about this country. Please respect the fact that I'm from the States and quit harping on this. Unless your purpose is to make me feel horrible, and as a friend/family member I'd hope it's not, I'd appreciate it if you would stop."

[Cheesecake]

Not sure how it'd work with yesterday's tragedy, but whenever people talk smack about the US in NL (or about NL in US it's usually based on assumptions, not fact. I usually answer with 'well, if that would be the case, I would be scare/dislike it/whatever is appliccable', and then educate them on the real goings on.
(I've regularly had people in the US ask whether or not it scared me that you could buy heroin in the supermarket here, or whether it scares me that everyone I know in the US own a gun or has been shot (at), in both cases saying that if that was the case, I would indeed be scared, really does work. I comforts them in the fact that thinking those things are scary isn't weird, but at the same time it gives me the chance to explain that in fact, heroin is illegal in NL, and that I personally don't know anyone in the US who's ever been shot at (except for my uncle who was in active duty in Iraq).

It sucks though, always having to defend yourself/your country. Good luck! (And I also agree with mrsukyankee. You should definitely let them know that this behavior hurts you if they go too far.

[anna7602]

I haven't been part of an intense US-bashing debate in a long time. Usually, I agree with the comments people make about violence in schools being more common (not just yesterday's shooting, but the fact that there are locks and security scanners & etc. at more schools in the US than in Europe) and other issues.

It is frustrating when people say very uninformed, off-the-wall things, and in those cases, I try to correct them. But I also have to know my audience. Some people really won't change their opinions and I'd rather not waste my time continuing the conversation. If I must, I try to just throw out general sources like "oh, the New Yorker did a great piece on just that issue, I'll see if i can find the link and send it to you..." and then change the topic.

[frlcb]

Dec 15, 2012 3:21:34 GMT -5 mrsukyankee said:

I tend to turn it around if people start really getting it on - "Look, I know the States aren't perfect, but you are going above and beyond what's reasonable. There is NO country which is perfect and I know there are things you don't like about this country. Please respect the fact that I'm from the States and quit harping on this. Unless your purpose is to make me feel horrible, and as a friend/family member I'd hope it's not, I'd appreciate it if you would stop."

I think this is excellent advice. I would probably also say something like this tragedy is too fresh in your mind to turn it around and discuss the nuances of why it happened and what should happen, but rather we should be praying for the 20 families who lost their 5 year olds 11 days before Christmas, and that is what you are thinking about right now, not about how ineffective our gun control laws are.

[horseoutside]

I find myself defending the US a lot when I'm home in Ireland. I think people abroad find it really easy to make sweeping generalizations about America. I usually remind people that there are 350 million people living here and that there are pros and cons to every country.

I think the most difficult thing for people in other countries to accept is that America/Americans seem to believe that this is the greatest country on earth. It's easy to be negative about a place that promotes itself as/considers itself the best and then has tragedies like these mass shootings occur with a level of frequency that is not seen in the rest of the world. It makes America-bashing very easy.

[clogged]

I tell people I am from Canada. Stops the convo pretty quick.

Those that know I am American get the "I am not discussing it. How about that *insert subject change here*?" line. And I don't discuss it. Period. Even if it means walking away or leaving. Who wants to talk to a Debbie Downer at a fun event? What a buzz kill.

[crimsonandclover]

For me it depends on the kind of negativity. If it's just generalized "you all own guns and eat McDonalds every day" kind of comments, then I just roll my eyes and say whatever (or to specific McDonald's comments, I note that I've never seen an empty McD's here in Germany...).

If it's a legitimate critique then I try to answer seriously. One I heard a lot again this year was how our electoral system makes it possible for a candidate to win the popular vote but still lose the election. I just explain why that used to make sense and how it would involve a change to the constitution, which in this case will not likely happen because the small states would lose influence and there are too many of them to get 3/4 of state legislatures to approve an amendment on it. Just as an example.

I don't think I've ever experienced as intense a US-bashing session as you were describing, though, ktkl.

[ktkl09]

Dec 18, 2012 3:10:49 GMT -5 crimsonandclover said:

For me it depends on the kind of negativity. If it's just generalized "you all own guns and eat McDonalds every day" kind of comments, then I just roll my eyes and say whatever (or to specific McDonald's comments, I note that I've never seen an empty McD's here in Germany...).

If it's a legitimate critique then I try to answer seriously. One I heard a lot again this year was how our electoral system makes it possible for a candidate to win the popular vote but still lose the election. I just explain why that used to make sense and how it would involve a change to the constitution, which in this case will not likely happen because the small states would lose influence and there are too many of them to get 3/4 of state legislatures to approve an amendment on it. Just as an example.

I don't think I've ever experienced as intense a US-bashing session as you were describing, though, ktkl.

I LOVE the comments about Americans only eating McDonald's. I think McDonald's actually does better in Europe than the US. They are packed every single time I see one.

[allibally]

Dec 18, 2012 3:19:13 GMT -5 @ktkl09 said:

Dec 18, 2012 3:10:49 GMT -5 crimsonandclover said:

For me it depends on the kind of negativity. If it's just generalized "you all own guns and eat McDonalds every day" kind of comments, then I just roll my eyes and say whatever (or to specific McDonald's comments, I note that I've never seen an empty McD's here in Germany...).

If it's a legitimate critique then I try to answer seriously. One I heard a lot again this year was how our electoral system makes it possible for a candidate to win the popular vote but still lose the election. I just explain why that used to make sense and how it would involve a change to the constitution, which in this case will not likely happen because the small states would lose influence and there are too many of them to get 3/4 of state legislatures to approve an amendment on it. Just as an example.

I don't think I've ever experienced as intense a US-bashing session as you were describing, though, ktkl.

I LOVE the comments about Americans only eating McDonald's. I think McDonald's actually does better in Europe than the US. They are packed every single time I see one.

Same. I went to McDonald's and BK way more in Switzerland then now. They were so easy to walk into in Zurich and always packed. I won't even go into them here in Chicago because they are so sleazy and the people inside :/