I've really had it with...

[Cheesecake]

Women complaining about how hard it is being pregnant.
Honestly, the next person I hear/read complaining is going to get a good shanking. There are enough women who would wish they'd be having those side effects.

(Inspired by another post on another board here where someone whined about not being able to see anymore so now she has too much pubic hair.)

Sent from my phone, please disregard typos!

[vmars]

Lol wow what a dumb complaint to have! I think at that pt in pregnancy shaving down there would be the least of my concerns. I'm
sorry though what board was this?

[Cheesecake]

Not sure, I saw it on the newest unread posts on the app.

Sent from my phone, please disregard typos!

[lola]

Eh, being pregnant is hard work. You gain weight. Your body changes. Your boob size changes. Your feet swell, your tastes in food change, you're not comfortable. You can wear your favorite clothes, can't sleep in your favorite positions. And, if you're used to be having a well groomed vag, you eventually lose the ability to maintain that as well.

I don't blame people for venting. I think we experience so much pressure to embrace and love being pregnant. "Miracle of life!" "What the female body was designed to do!" "Pregnant glow!" And I'm not saying these things aren't true, but just that we should give each other a little room to acknowledge that it's not that easy, and it isn't always fun, and there are times it is hard to remember (or embrace) the "miracle" of pregnancy.

TTC, as we say so often, is a mindfuck. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't allow those that are successful to experience pregnancy in their own ways.

[bonkers412]

I think there is a time and place for complaining (with your partner, friends, other pg ppl, ppl who ask).... I don't think that place is facebook or to just anyone who has ears. I think that is obnoxious and maybe insensitive depending on the audience.

[bonkers412]

Dec 15, 2012 13:32:03 GMT -5 namasteak said:

Dec 15, 2012 13:11:37 GMT -5 bonkers412 said:

I think there is a time and place for complaining (with your partner, friends, other pg ppl, ppl who ask).... I don't think that place is facebook or to just anyone who has ears. I think that is obnoxious and maybe insensitive depending on the audience.

But the OP is talking about a GBCN post. This is an Internet forum/community where many things are discussed. You don't have to read a post if it bothers you.

I thought she was speaking generally, although triggered by a post. I am speaking generally. If your on a board that is meant for complaining about pg then you kind of signed up for it.

[lola]

Bonkers - I don't disagree. The post in question, though, wasn't posted on GP. There are a number of boards on GBCN where this type of post isn't insensitive. If the OP (that started this thred) was posted on GP, I'd totally agree.

Nama - I'm glad you showed up here!

And to the OP of this thread - I don't think you're wrong. It's hard to hear (read) that type of vent/complaint when you really want to be pregnant. I just think we have to look at pregnancy for what it is - a 40 week surrender of our bodies. No matter how much you want(ed) that, or are excited about the end product, it's a long time and venting about it (or even disliking it!) is totally normal. We should support each other in this, because hopefully all of us on this board will end up experiencing it, and we'll want the freedom to not enjoy the process, or even parts of it.

[belovedbride07]

Dec 15, 2012 13:05:42 GMT -5 lola said:

TTC, as we say so often, is a mindfuck. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't allow those that are successful to experience pregnancy in their own ways.

:Y:

I am friends with several pregnant and new Mom complainers on Facebook, and try to remind myself of this when I find myself getting annoyed with them.

vmars, I'm pretty sure the post in question is on ML.

[Cheesecake]

True, it was triggered by a post here, but it's more of a life in general thing for me. Friends who complain they don't fit into their size 6 bathing suit 2 days post partum (the size 8 she wore 1st tri fit more than easily though) just get a side eye from me.

I get that being pregnant isn't all rainbows and puppies, but there indeed is a time and place for complaints (or vents even) and already whining about gaining a bit of a belly while pregnant just irks me.

Sent from my phone, please disregard typos!

[KaraOrNot]

I'll admit that my first thought when someone complains about being pregnant is "at least you are pregnant/can get pregnant!", but than I remember all the nastiness of pregnancy (does anyone remember that thread from TN?) and understand the complaints!

[statlerwaldorf]

I always would complain on the baby boards on the Bump instead of venting and annoying people IRL. I had a lot of trouble TTC and I was certainly thankful for getting pregnant. There was never any doubting that it was all worth it, but sometimes pregnancy is really frustrating and uncomfortable.

[littlemisschatty]

Getting pregnant is not easy, but neither is being pregnant. I know it's a sensitive topic, but I am not offended by women venting like that. I don't assume that they are any less grateful to be pregnant, its just that 40 weeks of major body/hormonal changes are not always awesome.

[mudslide]

I'd like to butt in here.

It took me 3 years to get pregnant. I am miserable. I have hyperemesis gravidarum and my pre-existing chronic pain is completely uncontrolled. I am more thankful and happy to be pregnant than I can possibly put in words. This baby will be worth it and the baby is the only thing getting me through.

I understand completely being annoyed at pregnant women who complain. I've been there. It is absolutely your right to feel that way--I know I did! When you get pregnant and if you feel miserable or whiny, give yourself permission to feel that way. Pregnancy is hard. Basically what I'm saying is to not feel guilty when you're pregnant and you have your omg this sucks moments.

[ilikedonuts]

Someone can be grateful that they are pregnant and still think pregnancy itself sucks. You basically give up control of your body.

I have a history of pregnancy loss. I know how hard it is to get pregnant and (for me) to stay pregnant. That didn't change the fact that parts of my pregnancy sucked and I'm sure I complained to people about it sometimes.

But I used to get annoyed too when I was TTC when women would complain about their pregnancy. So I understand where you are coming from. But remember that you never know how you are going to act when you are in their place.

[lola]

Oh, Jesus, clearly a slow weekend around here. I think she gets it by now.

[jewel]

I hate hearing pregnancy complaints too. We've been TTC for over a year, with a missed m/c and difficult medical treatment.

I hate hearing them because I'm jealous, not because of any judgement. I hope I can complain about pregnancy symptoms soon too.

[mudslide]

Dec 15, 2012 23:10:52 GMT -5 lola said:

Oh, Jesus, clearly a slow weekend around here. I think she gets it by now.

What is your problem?

I came in here to tell you all about my experience. I felt so guilty for feeling miserable and wanting to whine until someone told me that it is okay to feel that way and it doesn't mean that I desire this pregnancy any less or am not happy about being pregnant.

I was offering my experience as an example and preemptively (sp?) letting everyone know that once they're pregnant to not feel guilty. I dealt with a lot of guilt.

It appears the other ladies came into to say the same thing. I don't see anyone being put down or harassed.

[Cheesecake]

Dec 15, 2012 23:10:52 GMT -5 lola said:

Oh, Jesus, clearly a slow weekend around here. I think she gets it by now.

Well, uhm, no, I don't get it, actually.

I don't get why it's apparently okay for pregnant women to whine about stupid shit they knew was going to happen, while it's not okay for me to vent about that annoying/hurting me on the GETTING pregnant board.

And I most certainly don't get why pregnant ladies who are not regulars on this board need to come defend their own honor on this board because I'm venting about something related to GETTING pregnant here.

I didn't respond to the post that triggered me. I didn't actually tell my friend to shut up and stop her whining because she'd be *gasp* pregnant and that actually means you get a belly. I posted a vent about it here. On GETTING pregnant. Where a whole lot of the regulars are going through many, many cycles trying without any luck. Where most of the regulars don't have children/have never been pregnant/lost a pregnancy.

So no, I don't get it. I don't get why apparently everybody and their dog needs to come explain how I'm wrong and a whiny pregnant chick is right. I don't get that and I will never get that.

And if I'd ever be so lucky to get pregnant and start whining about trivial shit like not fitting into a pre-pregnancy swimsuit 2 days post partum, or about not being able to see myself shaving I better hope someone gives me shit about that. Because while honest complaints about your body not functioning the way you want it to because you're growing another human are fine with me (although there is a place and time for that too!) just being a whiny bitch because you were pregnant definitely is not.

And now I'll go back to posting my charts and obsessing over symptoms that *might* indicate that I actually *might* be pregnant and *might* be able to stay pregnant beyond implantation which *might* lead to a healthy pregnancy in which I *might* not have to go to the hospital for checkups every 2 days, in the case that I *might* keep a normal blood pressure and I *might* not lose kidney function, so I *might* not actually die before my *possible* kid goes to college.

Yes, I'm pissed, deal with it!

[Cheesecake]

Dec 16, 2012 10:21:45 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

Dec 16, 2012 6:39:34 GMT -5 Cheesecake said:

Well, uhm, no, I don't get it, actually.

I don't get why it's apparently okay for pregnant women to whine about stupid shit they knew was going to happen, while it's not okay for me to vent about that annoying/hurting me on the GETTING pregnant board.

.....because the post you are talking about was on a board FULL OF PREGNANT WOMEN!

If the post had been put on the Getting Pregnant board you would be 100% correct to be annoyed.

But you really can't understand why your reaction to a post on a totally different board is a bit extreme?

If you actually had read more of my responses on this thread, you would've seen that I said that seeing that triggered this, not that that's the big fucking issue. Please actually read before responding. Kthanksbye!

[Cheesecake]

Oh, and ETA to your ETA autumnrose25. If you don't realize that having a big pregnant belly is going to cause you to not be able to see your crotch very well anymore, it's not an issue of it being a first pregnancy, but the issue of either being dumb or blind.

[winecheery]

I just wanted to chime in and say that I don't think the ladies who commented from other boards were trying to berate you Cheesecake.

From what I read, it looked like they were acknowledging how you feel here, and saying that when you get to the "other side" of all this, you may need a moment to vent about some kind of unexpected pregnancy symptoms, and they wanted you to know that they've been in a version of your shoes, and that a complaint here and there doesn't mean anything bad.

Even so, you sound really sad/hurt/angry, and I know you've been hit with some tough stuff lately (work stuff, and then that perfect looking ovary that didn't do it last time, overall health picture, etc ) so massive ((hugs)) for all of that.

I know you've been here much longer than you've wanted to, and I believe you when you say that you will try to not complain while pg, because of your personal journey to get there. But if you ever need to, you shouldn't feel bad. :heart: Feel better.

[lola]

Dec 16, 2012 2:44:38 GMT -5 mudslide said:

Dec 15, 2012 23:10:52 GMT -5 lola said:

Oh, Jesus, clearly a slow weekend around here. I think she gets it by now.

What is your problem?

I came in here to tell you all about my experience. I felt so guilty for feeling miserable and wanting to whine until someone told me that it is okay to feel that way and it doesn't mean that I desire this pregnancy any less or am not happy about being pregnant.

I was offering my experience as an example and preemptively (sp?) letting everyone know that once they're pregnant to not feel guilty. I dealt with a lot of guilt.

It appears the other ladies came into to say the same thing. I don't see anyone being put down or harassed.

Yo - Mudslide, chill! My post had NOTHING to do with you, and there's no reason to take it personally. I didn't quote you. I didn't reply immediately after you. I didn't even reference you in my post! I'M ON YOUR SIDE HERE!

I think Cheesecake would have been wrong to reply to the post on ML, BUT SHE DIDN'T. She posted it here, where (really) it's pretty appropriate. You can come over here and post all you want, but I don't think a pile-on is necessary, which is why I responded. If you look, you'll see I first responded very much inline with what you wrote.

I can assure you that *I'm* not the one with a problem here.

Cheesecake - I totally get what you're saying. I just don't want you to go through your pregnancy feeling like you can complain. I'm sure there will be things that are totally bitchworty. And what was posted on ML was a totally normal post for ML, and there are a LOT of pregnant people over there.

And, if it counts for anything, I'm totally a reg here and I'm not pregnant. I just got a new name.

[Deleted]

T

[berbles]

There's a big difference between complaining that you don't immediately have your pre-preg body back or not being able to shave your chach and what Mudslide is experiencing. I think some of you are arguing about apples and oranges.

[lola]

Dec 16, 2012 18:11:54 GMT -5 berbles said:

There's a big difference between complaining that you don't immediately have your pre-preg body back or not being able to shave your chach and what Mudslide is experiencing. I think some of you are arguing about apples and oranges.

Just to be clear, this post wasn't started about Mudslide at all. She just weighed in. There was a post on ML about not being able to see a crotch enough to shave it. That's the post that's being referenced. Nobody's arguing about what Mudslide's been going through.

[berbles]

Oh, I know. I was just using her as an example. I still think there's a difference between vanity complaints, which is what the OP seems to be having the hardest time with, and the unexpected, uncomfortable, painful, barfy complaints.

[lola]

Ahhh, in that case yes yes yes, I totally agree. And I think both are ok, in the right time and place. I still see where the OP was coming from - they're hard to hear when the immediate response is, "AT LEAST you're pregnant!" I'm guilty of that line of thinking too, from time to time.

How are you feeling, Berbs?

[berbles]

Anyone who is actively trying to get pregnant and says they've never had the "at least you CAN get/ARE pregnant!" thought is a lying liar who lies. Doesn't matter what the original pregnant complaint is.

I'm doing ok, thanks for asking! My surgery is scheduled for Jam 14 and tomorrow is my last day of work until February. I decided to go back on a leave of absence because the side effects of the meds are making me a shitty employee/coworker. It's a big stress relief to know I have some free time and can get all my insurance, pre-op testing, etc taken care of without having to miss work or attempt to schedule around it. Also, I turned 30 yesterday. Eep.

[lola]

I read on ML (I think) that you were taking a LOA. Sounds like that will be best for you - try to relax a little before your surgery. You'll be in my thoughts!

And - I agree on the lying liar part. lol.

[mudslide]

Lola, I apologize. I thought it was directed at the few of us who jumped in the convo.