I hate motorcycles because I had to go to a friend's dad's funeral after he died in a motorcycle accident. (Not his fault -- he was hit by a car and didn't stand a chance because of the way he fell. Hit and run in fact.) :-( :-( :-(
Post by whitepicketfence on Dec 17, 2012 19:45:18 GMT -5
It's all about priorities. If you want several expensive vacations a year, 2 brand new vehicles, a large house, and expensive toys, there's nothing wrong with that. It does come at a price though. If you want to SAH, unless you're independantly wealthy, you'll need to make sacrifices somewhere. You have to decide what's most important to you and what will benefit your family the most.
I've been a SAHM for almost 3 years. I never planned on being one so DH and I had to initially cut out all of the extras from our budget to make it work. I hated my job though so that helped make my decision to quit even easier. Also, while I've been at home, DH's career has really taken off - which I attribute to him having the time to really focus on his career while I take care of our home/kids. With the promotions and bonuses he's received over the past few years, our finances are not nearly as tight now. We've also paid off a bunch of debt which frees more money up, too. We don't go on fancy vacations, we own a smaller home, and we drive slightly older (paid off) cars. We do own a few "toys" - snowmobile, fourwheeler, and DH's sports car - but we bought them with cash so we don't have any payments. We happen to be in LCOL area, too, so I'm sure that plays into it.
How about working part time? Switching to 3 10s was the best decision I made. I had a long commute (1 hour each way), and when I was working 5 days a week I felt like I never got to see my kid. I barely saw her on the days I worked, but getting to spend all day Tues and Thurs made up for it. And since I was still working 30 hours, it wasn't a big hit on our income.
since I have the same chances probably to hurt myself in my car or even on any of my horses.
Yeah, no. The chances of being hurt or killed on a motorcycle are not the same as being hurt or killed in a car or on a horse. As Bill Clinton would say, "That's math."
I didn't read through all the posts but here is my opinion ---
Many woman want the choice to be a SAHM when their baby arrives -- some anguish over the decision to return to work while others are very excited to get back to work and have someone else care for their baby. SAHM is not for everyone and some women are better mothers/wives for working outside the home and some for staying at home.
But, if you decide to stay at home, it's a choice and your days are long and can be tiring. Most people don't do extravagant vacations when their children are young. Unless you have a nanny to take with you, who wants to spend $300+ a night in a resort when you have kids who are up at 6 am screaming and you have to pay $20 for the hotel breakfast, there is no place to do laundry when a poop explosion happens, the resort is not baby proofed, etc. Vacations become limited when the kids are young... trust me. You may not realize it now but once you have your own you will enjoy being in your own home at night where your baby can sleep soundly.
The vacations we take now are to visit family or have family join us so they can help baby sit or we go to kinder resorts -- popular in Europe where babysitting is free.
However, even though while I am a SAHm mom, we don't save nearly as much as with dual income, I would not change MY decision for the world. I love being with my kids and seeing them grow and mature. But, if it mean living pay check to pay check and eating rice and beans, I would definitely go back to work.
Perhaps you can push off TTC to save more so you can SAH. One extra year of savings can make a HUGE difference in money and stress.
It's all about decisions. We just bought a SFH (in Loudoun), a brand new car for H and have a baby. My car is a 2010, so not old. Put all that aside and we lead a fairly modest life. I am still working but we are thisclose to me being able to stay home.
Stop worrying about the material stuff and you'll get a lot closer to your dream of wanting to stay home.
It's funny. DH is a claims adjuster and deals with motorcycle accidents on a daily basis. Bad stuff.
But for some reason he still wants one of those things. Probably because he looks at them all the time. I put my foot down for the same reasons listed in this thread. Way too dangerous and risky. Also, we really can't afford it. He knows it's a pipe dream. I'm just surprised he still wants one after seeing all the things that can go wrong.