Spouses that don't buy Christmas presents for each other. It never even crossed my mind not to get DH something, but apparently a lot of people don't. Explain?
ETA: I'm not judging or saying anything is wrong with this at all. I just really don't understand not getting your SO something.
Some of the people I work with had a no gift rule with their spouses this year but all talked about buying something anyway. A lot of people did place spending limits though.
Post by amaristella on Dec 18, 2012 16:39:03 GMT -5
I really try and some years I just can't come up with anything, although this year I did and I feel very proud of myself. Some people just aren't hugely into gift giving with each other, ya know? Sometimes for birthdays and stuff we just want a nice dinner together and maybe some snuggly activities afterward.
Some years we just decide to buy something we have been wanting instead of something for each of us. We never don't get each other anything, but it might not be individual stuff. We are really bad about buying what we want usually though so it's hard to shop. H is getting some new clothes this year since that's what he wanted. I still have no clue what I want and he asks me like 3 times a day.
I get if you have a reason (buying house, recent big purchase, stocking your savings, don't really want anything specific) but when I asked my friends at school what they are getting their DHs, they looked at me like I was crazy. They said they have kids so they don't do presents anymore for each other. I've heard a few others say this too.
Post by brandienee on Dec 18, 2012 18:34:52 GMT -5
We would rather spend that money going to see family for Christmas than spend it on each other. We usually go all out for birthdays.
But then again the past couple of years have been a little crazy with moving and deployments. I have no idea what next Christmas is going to look like.
Post by amaristella on Dec 18, 2012 18:38:47 GMT -5
Maybe they have more fun buying presents for their kids than each other. Kids usually have a list of at least a couple things that they really want so it's all fun and happy when they get their present. If DH asks me what I want for Christmas and all I can say is, "I don't know. I don't want anything. How about we consider the XYZ that I bought myself last month as my Christmas present" there probably isn't much fun in it for him.
I don't think it's at all unusual for spouses to continue getting presents for each other every year but I don't think that they need a reason for not doing it. I mean, there's plenty of places where Christmas isn't even really a part of their culture.
We usually get something for the house or that we've been wanting. We got new Iphones last month so we won't exchange Christmas gifts.
This is the same thing we did for each other this year. We usually just buy what we want throughout the year so we never have anything to tell anyone else. I'd rather he random brought me flowers or we did something for the house than spend insane amounts on gifts just because it's a holiday.
Post by prettyinpink on Dec 18, 2012 20:41:49 GMT -5
We exchange gifts with each other but every year it gets harder. I think I might suggest doing something bigger for the house as opposed to gifts for each of us next year.
But let me show you what I made him this year! I'm pretty proud of it!
Maybe they have more fun buying presents for their kids than each other. Kids usually have a list of at least a couple things that they really want so it's all fun and happy when they get their present. If DH asks me what I want for Christmas and all I can say is, "I don't know. I don't want anything. How about we consider the XYZ that I bought myself last month as my Christmas present" there probably isn't much fun in it for him.
I don't think it's at all unusual for spouses to continue getting presents for each other every year but I don't think that they need a reason for not doing it. I mean, there's plenty of places where Christmas isn't even really a part of their culture.
I didn't even think about the bolded part. Maybe it's just not in their tradition.
We don't ever do anything big for holidays, but we always get each other something. We always set a limit (this year is $100 each just because we have a little extra). I'm getting DH a Best Buy card and I asked for a helmet for my horseback lessons and a massage! ;D
We exchange gifts with each other but every year it gets harder. I think I might suggest doing something bigger for the house as opposed to gifts for each of us next year.
But let me show you what I made him this year! I'm pretty proud of it!
Wow, that is an awesome present. I love homemade gifts. I bet he will love it! How long did that take you?
Post by prettyinpink on Dec 18, 2012 21:25:40 GMT -5
Lamp, from start to finish it probably took about 20 hours. I had to work on it on the nights DH had class and then buy more fabric when he wasn't with me. He knows he's getting a tshirt quilt because he has asked for one for ages but he has no idea what tshirts I used or what other colors I did. Its not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but I'm really happy with how it turned out.
Post by basilosaurus on Dec 18, 2012 21:36:05 GMT -5
Not all spouses are from a Christian background. H's family wasn't religious, so Christmas was a tree and maybe a trinket.
Plenty of people buy gifts for themselves and spouses throughout the year as needed. I might pick up some shirts for H at costco. If it's April, he gets them immediately. If it's november, I hang on to them. But that doesn't mean I go out of my way for a particular religious holiday gift. I might buy myself something in November and give it to H to wrap up, too.
The Christmas holiday just isn't a big deal for a lot of people. Do you similarly wonder why jews don't do more than get some Chinese food and watch a movie?
Not all spouses are from a Christian background. H's family wasn't religious, so Christmas was a tree and maybe a trinket.
Plenty of people buy gifts for themselves and spouses throughout the year as needed. I might pick up some shirts for H at costco. If it's April, he gets them immediately. If it's november, I hang on to them. But that doesn't mean I go out of my way for a particular religious holiday gift. I might buy myself something in November and give it to H to wrap up, too.
The Christmas holiday just isn't a big deal for a lot of people. Do you similarly wonder why jews don't do more than get some Chinese food and watch a movie?
Haha no. I meant Christian families that DO celebrate Christmas, buy gifts for their family/friends/kids, religious, etc. but don't do presents for their SO.
I didn't even think about the bolded part. Maybe it's just not in their tradition.
We don't ever do anything big for holidays, but we always get each other something. We always set a limit (this year is $100 each just because we have a little extra). I'm getting DH a Best Buy card and I asked for a helmet for my horseback lessons and a massage! ;D
Honestly this is more weird to me than not getting a gift. I give gift cards a lot, but they also have an impersonal feel to me, so it's not something I would give to H. But also we have fully joint accounts so it would basically be like me saying at any other point in time throughout the year to go spend $100 at Best Buy.
That makes me wonder though how people compare on the buying gifts vs. not buying and joint vs. separate bank accounts. H and I are fully joint, so a lot of times we will just buy something big that we want and say let's call it a Christmas gift. Or this year H really wanted to get a Navy ring on deployment and it was over $1k, so we called it his birthday and anniversary gifts.
Only 20 hours? That's great, I'd like to make something like that next year.
Beachy- I used to think it's impersonal. But DH would never go and spend $100 on himself for no reason and he loves shopping there, so why not. He didn't want anything in particular. I would never go get a massage just because, so I asked for one now.
I guess for us we are always on a tight budget (paying debt, trying to put in savings, small income) so it's a big deal to get each other gifts, even only small ones.
We usually do small-ish gifts. I'll often knit DH a pair of socks, and get him something silly to go with them. He usually gets me a game (we enjoy hosting game nights), or something else small.
This year, though, we're not exchanging gifts for our anniversary or Christmas (days apart). We'll be in the middle of a move, and it's just a waste of space/time/effort.
Haha no. I meant Christian families that DO celebrate Christmas, buy gifts for their family/friends/kids, religious, etc. but don't do presents for their SO.
Well, first, there are non-religious people who give gifts at Christmas. And there are religious families who don't. But, that aside, I think I see what you're getting at.
For family and friends, I probably don't give them gifts at any time. So, pn a gift giving holiday, I probably do get something for them. Lots of cultures, regardless of religion, have a gift giving season, whether it's new year or Eid or children's day or whatever.
Kids, well, they get presents because parents like to see them getting presents. If possible, it's fun to have a designated time to spoil.
But, my spouse. H and I are likely giving and getting small gifts throughout the year (like I mentioned, depending on the time of year I pick up something like a shirt, it's either an immediate gift or it's held onto for a couple months), so there's not as much reason for a gift giving holiday, especially when a couple has their own holiday called their anniversary.
Post by twodogsandababy on Dec 19, 2012 17:32:43 GMT -5
H and I stopped exchanging gifts a few years ago when we were in debt pay-off/savings mode and it just kinda stuck. Plus, both of us are more instant gratification people, and we hate waiting for Christmas so we just do our own thing and buy things throughout the year. We are no fun.
Post by verycontrary247 on Dec 19, 2012 23:27:00 GMT -5
We don't buy each other Christmas gifts, we typically just get something big for both of us on Black Friday or Cyber Monday. This year we splurged on a new TV.
We exchange gifts but usually have a price limit. This year $50, we are trying to save money. We also just spent $2k on dirt bikes and I bought a treadmill an he bought a set of weights for our spare room downstairs. So no more expensive gifts this year!
In the close to7 years we've been together, this is the first and only Christmas I've ever gotten DH anything. A big reason why I even got him anything was because he was gone last year and I felt bad that he works so hard but never gets to spend money on himself for anything other than necessities.
He's gotten me gifts but I always return them LOL.
I don't really think Christmas is about gifts. I think it's disgusting the way some people become so materialistic this time if year. I get stuff for myself all year long. Since we don't have children, it's something we can afford to do. I don't see a reason to get stuff this time of year too.
That's just me though. He would totally get me something if I let him. We don't do Valentine's Day either.
Our finances are completely merged. So buying gifts for each other seems silly. I mean really? Lets set a limit and each spend that much on each other. Lets pretend not to look at the cc statement and pretend we don't know where the gifts are coming from. All so that we can say we exchange them? That seems silly to me. DH and I are in a position to buy what we want when we want it. SO waiting until christmas for DH to buy me something that I could have bought two months ago seems silly. We spend time together. Even though that is not our primary love languages. We had a romantic dinner last night at home with the fine china, waterford crystal and christmas music in the background. No tv no phones. It was a time to reconnect.
High five KC and Bazelina. Not only do we not really do Christmas gifts for each other, we don't really do gifts for each other any other time of the year either. If there's something we want, we'll save up and get it. It seems silly to wait for a specific date, or, yea, do gifts and act like we don't see the transactions on the statement. It works for us and we show love and surprise each other in other ways.