Who was rude?

[mysillyae]

This isn't Jenny.

[ladygrey]

You must have been sitting at a large enough table that a group would have wanted it (i.e. not a little 1-2 person table). In that case, you were being inconsiderate by not moving, but they (especially the woman with the stroller) were rude in how they approached you.

[thumper55]

both of you were rude, but she was more rude than you were.

she shouldn't have expected you to move, or gotten so close to be annoying. tables and chairs are not guaranteed at a cafe, and she could've asked more politely.

and all you got was a drink, and you were hogging a table from patrons, who want to sit down and enjoy their meal. It sounds like you only buy a drink in order to read your book there which is < people buying food and eating there.

Given the situation, it would have pissed me off if someone was hovering over me like that.

[mbcdefg]

Dec 19, 2012 13:24:19 GMT -5 countthestars said:

It was rude of her to ask, but I do think it's weird to hog a whole table when you are there alone and could easily read on the nearby bench. Eating on a bench with a toddler doesn't sound like a good time.

Ditto.

[Deleted]

They were beyond rude. I would have given them a blank stare.

[Willis Jackson]

Dec 19, 2012 14:24:03 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

She was rude. Flame me, but why should she have to sit at the bench, when the group can do the same? If it was me and I was asked nicely I would have moved (but probably annoyed).

Because it's the considerate thing to do. She had 20 minutes at the table. Now it's someone else's turn.

[Deleted]

Dec 19, 2012 14:24:03 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

She was rude. Flame me, but why should she have to sit at the bench, when the group can do the same? If it was me and I was asked nicely I would have moved (but probably annoyed).

Depending on what they were eating, it may have been hard to sit on the bench to eat.

It usually isn't hard to sit on a bench to drink.

[blackkitty]

You should have offered your table. You really think they should've eaten on a bench. You sound like a really inconsiderate person. Maybe think about someone other than yourself.

[Willis Jackson]

I suspect your annoyance/anger is really embarrassment because you know you should have offered the table before they asked.

[Deleted]

Dec 19, 2012 13:25:07 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

I think both of you were rude.

You only had a drink and had already been there 20 minutes. You should have moved to the bench when you saw that people with food were looking for a place to sit.

This, exactly.

[Ashley&Scott]

Dec 19, 2012 13:36:37 GMT -5 @lilly said:

I think you were both rude. I wouldn't hog a table when people (esp people with a toddler) were looking for a place to eat. It sounds like she could have been nicer in the way that she asked as well.

I agree with Lily.

[takeonyou]

She was rude. It doesn't matter what you ordered, how long you were there, or anything else. I don't care if they have 18 people with them or 100 kids and you are only one person. It isn't their chair or yours, it is first come, first serve. Kids doesn't mean they get the good seats. Sorry. (And I have a few kids of my own, I don't expect special treatment for it.) There was a lot of other people there sitting too. She targeted you because you were alone and not eating.

She was really rude in her approach. I wouldn't have moved just because of her approach.

[Ashley&Scott]

Dec 19, 2012 14:24:03 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

She was rude. Flame me, but why should she have to sit at the bench, when the group can do the same? If it was me and I was asked nicely I would have moved (but probably annoyed).

Have you ever eaten on a bench with a toddler? You probably think elderly people should stand on the bus too.

[isabel]

Dec 19, 2012 13:24:19 GMT -5 countthestars said:

It was rude of her to ask, but I do think it's weird to hog a whole table when you are there alone and could easily read on the nearby bench. Eating on a bench with a toddler doesn't sound like a good time.

This.

[sa]

They were rude.

Yes, it might have been nice if you had offered them your table, but it is completely within your right to sit there.

I find myself a bit sensitive to this because recently my family came to visit me. I'd been pretty sick and didn't really feel great, but wanted to go out and spend some time with them. While we were out, I felt pretty weak and needed to sit down, so I sat down at a table - no food, no drink, just the table and me. I got a lot of dirty looks from people who were looking to sit down with their food and drinks. It really pissed me off.

I know OPs situation is different, but the other party was really rude for thinking they were entitled to that table more than she was.

[countthestars]

Dec 19, 2012 14:50:08 GMT -5 kooshball said:

I don't think she should have to sit at the bench to eat. That is rude to expect that... but once she's done, she could move.

I am not going to sit at a bench just cause they have a toddler.

She wasn't eating. She had a drink and was reading.

[livinitup]

Dec 19, 2012 13:44:22 GMT -5 mysillyae said:

Thanks for all the input. It is what I expected. I was a little inconsiderate, but I was annoyed that I was the unlucky person chosen for them to push out of their table. I knew it was coming. I've had people basically ask to sit at my table before, which basically makes me want to leave since I don't like sitting with random people. I like my personal space.

I grew up in a pretty crowed/busy area, especially at peak times. It was very common to ask to sit at a table if none were open and singles were sitting with 3 empty seat. She was rude to demand you out of your seat, but you did not have the absolute right to your seat and all the empty ones, too. I like personal space, too, and it's funny that you were "targetted" when other tables had singles, but really, it's not realistic in the situation you described.

[thatgirl2478]

Rude on her part - but I get it - especially if you were just reading. To take a whole table when you have a drink and no food - especially when it's busy like that - is kind of rude too. I get that it's first come first serve, but I can see that the other 3 might be kinda pissed at you too.

[ondaflipside]

Dec 19, 2012 14:44:49 GMT -5 Ashley&Scott said:

Dec 19, 2012 14:24:03 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

She was rude. Flame me, but why should she have to sit at the bench, when the group can do the same? If it was me and I was asked nicely I would have moved (but probably annoyed).

Have you ever eaten on a bench with a toddler? You probably think elderly people should stand on the bus too.

If I have a toddler, I would not go and eat at a cafe where I know it's a limited seating.

There's other places to go and eat. Why this one?

They can go and drive/walk to somewhere after/outside of the museum.

If I am going to be subjected to always give up my table because I am drinking/eating for one, I would not patronize that establishment anymore.

They were rude.

The elderly at bus is not a comparable scenario.

[ondaflipside]

And I call AngryHarpy on this one.

[kadams767]

Dec 19, 2012 14:44:49 GMT -5 Ashley&Scott said:

Dec 19, 2012 14:24:03 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

She was rude. Flame me, but why should she have to sit at the bench, when the group can do the same? If it was me and I was asked nicely I would have moved (but probably annoyed).

Have you ever eaten on a bench with a toddler? You probably think elderly people should stand on the bus too.

I don't think this is even remotely the same as making old people stand on the bus.

[dr.girlfriend]

You should have moved. It's not like you didn't see them or anything, you knew they wanted/needed your table and were ignoring the situation. The fact that she had to ask at all was on you. If there were no benches for you to read on, my answer would be different, but hell -- who sees someone with food and a toddler and decides, "Eh, whatever, I'm totally going to hog this table for another hour. My ass is planted here and here it will stay. No moving ten feet away for me, TYVM!"

[Deleted]

I think the elderly analogy is actually pretty good. Both are first come/first served situations and rely on someone using common sense to determine if they should give up their seat to someone else.

[jigsy]

I don;t think it is AH based on where she works...unless she is off today...hum...But I am wondering who it is because they might be in my general area for lunch!

[Deleted]

I think they were rude. It's one thing to ask you how long you might be but to ask you to get up and leave is jerky.

And I disagree with others that you were all that rude. Twenty minutes is not that long to be sitting at a table and why are they entitled to it more than you? Yes, it would be nice to get up and let them have it, but I don't see why you should be expected to just get up and leave.

[Deleted]

Dec 19, 2012 14:44:14 GMT -5 takeonyou said:

She was rude. It doesn't matter what you ordered, how long you were there, or anything else. I don't care if they have 18 people with them or 100 kids and you are only one person. It isn't their chair or yours, it is first come, first serve. Kids doesn't mean they get the good seats. Sorry. (And I have a few kids of my own, I don't expect special treatment for it.) There was a lot of other people there sitting too. She targeted you because you were alone and not eating.

She was really rude in her approach. I wouldn't have moved just because of her approach.

But to me, rude = inconsiderate which is just what the OP was. Of course neither party OWNS the seat but the nice and polite (opposite of rude) thing to do is to give up your seat when you notice that someone could use your seat and there is a perfectly acceptable alternative for yourself. Just like it is polite to say thank you and it is polite to chew with your mouth closed. There's no law saying you have to, but they are nice things that good people in a civilized society should try to do.

[cole]

Dec 19, 2012 15:41:21 GMT -5 @lilly said:

There's no law saying you have to, but they are nice things that good people in a civilized society should try to do.

George Costanza should have put her in her place.

[bronxgirl]

Dec 19, 2012 15:08:38 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

Dec 19, 2012 13:39:37 GMT -5 njohnson1972 said:

Please tell me this isn't Jenny1980's secret flameworthy post.

LOL.

No.

I am not known for only ordering a beverage LOL.

I thought it would have been pretty funny if OP went along with it and pretended to be you.

[Deleted]

I think it was weird that she asked you to move. I would NEVER have the balls to do that.

However, I think you were rude not to move. Maybe it's from years of waiting tables, but I'm always really hesitant to stick around any restaurant after I'm done, unless there is obviously a lot of open seating around me. I don't want to take up a table someone else needs to use, and I don't want to sit at a table where the server can't be resat and make more money (I realize that wasn't the issue here). It's really a matter of being aware of your surroundings and paying attention to the needs of fellow humans. There are plenty of places you can go read a book, an eating establishment where they are people waiting for tables should be for eating and then moving on.

Honestly, I'm surprised this is the place you pick to read on your lunch break, if it's usually busy that doesn't sound like much fun!

[Deleted]

I think you should tell us who you are now. After all, it would be rude not to.