I guess I'm kind of a bitch, but this really pissed me off.
I'm a regular but decided to do an AE since I don't really want the flamings that may come with it.
So for my lunch break I always go to this museum type place where they have a cafe and tables to sit at. I bought a drink and sat down at a table to enjoy my drink and read my book. I'm sitting down for 20-25 minutes, when this group of people kind of wanders nearby me. They had bought some food and we're looking for a table, all of them are full. There were 3 adults and a toddler. The lady with the stroller keeps hovering closer and closer to my table so much so that I could have kicked her stroller with my leg if I wanted to. There's plenty of space for her not to be in my personal space, but I can tell she is hoping I'll see her just hanging out there and get up. Like she is guilting me into getting up.
Finally, she's like "um...can you like go, move?" I'm not sure what she said exactly, basically just trying to find a polite way of asking me to get up so they can all sit down.
I left, but was definitely annoyed and said "um..I guess I'll just go and you can have the table." They said "Thank you." But really, I was not happy to have just been pushed out of my table.
There were benches not too far away they could have sat at. Instead they asked me to get up from my table.
What say you? Is it rude to ask a person to get up from their table?
Or was I rude to hold the table when there were people looking for a table?
Post by countthestars on Dec 19, 2012 13:24:19 GMT -5
It was rude of her to ask, but I do think it's weird to hog a whole table when you are there alone and could easily read on the nearby bench. Eating on a bench with a toddler doesn't sound like a good time.
Definitely them. I am not confrontational though so I would have done what you did. But I think you would have been well within your rights to say sorry, I was here first. I'll be done in twenty minutes.
Post by Willis Jackson on Dec 19, 2012 13:25:07 GMT -5
I think both of you were rude.
You only had a drink and had already been there 20 minutes. You should have moved to the bench when you saw that people with food were looking for a place to sit.
Post by mollybrown on Dec 19, 2012 13:26:57 GMT -5
They were most definitely rude.
However, I do hate when I'm in a crowded place and someone is nursing and empty cup while using the wifi and taking up a table when I'm trying to find a place to sit and eat my food. Regardless, I would never ask someone to move.
If she didn't ask in some variation of, "Excuse me/sorry to bother you, but just wanted to check if you were planning on leaving soon, the seating situation is pretty packed, but no worries if you're hanging out here. Thank you." then she was rude. Slightly mitigated that they said thank you, but still rude.
But you did a nice thing by giving up your seat & table.
This. It's ok to ask "are you almost finished?" sort of way, but "can you like go move?" is rude, not to mention grammatically appalling.
If they had food and I was just drinking and reading I would have moved before they asked me.
It's like the people who are finished with their meal but continue to sit in a restaurant reading the paper while people are lined up at the door waiting for tables.
They were rude unless they did it in the way mavjen proposed. You were probably a bit rude to linger when it is really busy (though I think you had the right to).
I think it's kind of rude to go to a busy restaurant/food area during peak hours and sit and read a book for 20 minutes while other people are looking for a place to sit and eat their meal.
You only had a drink and had already been there 20 minutes. You should have moved to the bench when you saw that people with food were looking for a place to sit.
This.
I think they were very, very rude in the way they approached you. I can't believe they had the audacity to do that.
But on the other hand, if you were hogging an entire table with just a drink and there were benches, it would have been polite of you to sit somewhere else, especially if there is limited seating. I always hate going to this one panera by me because there are table hogs who sit at the four top tables with one coffee and their laptop during lunch. Thengroups of three or four have nowhere to sit. The single people with just a drink should sit up at the bar in the window or something.
She may have been rude but you were inconsiderate. I think you should have gone to the bench to read when you first noticed the situation. That would have been mouch simpler than 4 people, including a toddler, trying to have a meal without a table.
I think you were both rude. I wouldn't hog a table when people (esp people with a toddler) were looking for a place to eat. It sounds like she could have been nicer in the way that she asked as well.
You only had a drink and had already been there 20 minutes. You should have moved to the bench when you saw that people with food were looking for a place to sit.
Thanks for all the input. It is what I expected. I was a little inconsiderate, but I was annoyed that I was the unlucky person chosen for them to push out of their table. I knew it was coming. I've had people basically ask to sit at my table before, which basically makes me want to leave since I don't like sitting with random people. I like my personal space.
FWIW, the tables are outside of the cafe in the open atrium area of the museum, so it's not like two people behind the counter fixing coffee control who sits in the tables. There were plenty of people sitting in them that hadn't even bought anything at the cafe, but had brought food from home or other places.
Also the food is to-go kind of stuff, like sandwiches and chips.
A lot of people even sit on the floor to eat their food, while their toddler runs around.
They were likely out of the house specifically to go to this museum/location. You go there daily to read a book. They needed a place to sit and eat because they were away from home. You chose to go here to relax and read, and likely didn't pay to go inside the museum - though yes you paid for your drink.
I think you should have hopped up early today, and found somewhere else to sit. It doesn't sound like this happens often (being too crowded) that one day of not being able to spend your entire break reading here shouldn't have been a big deal?
She may have been rude but you were inconsiderate. I think you should have gone to the bench to read when you first noticed the situation. That would have been mouch simpler than 4 people, including a toddler, trying to have a meal without a table.
+1
Also, if you had to create an AE because you expected to be flamed, doesn't that suggest to yourself, on some level, that your behavior was inconsiderate?
She may have been rude but you were inconsiderate. I think you should have gone to the bench to read when you first noticed the situation. That would have been mouch simpler than 4 people, including a toddler, trying to have a meal without a table.
This. Although I will admit, in these types of situations, I usually ask the person if I can share the table rather than asking them to move. That usually gets them up. I really, really hate eating on a bench. With a toddler, that is nearly impossible.
FWIW, the tables are outside of the cafe in the open atrium area of the museum, so it's not like two people behind the counter fixing coffee control who sits in the tables. There were plenty of people sitting in them that hadn't even bought anything at the cafe, but had brought food from home or other places.
Also the food is to-go kind of stuff, like sandwiches and chips.
A lot of people even sit on the floor to eat their food, while their toddler runs around.
Who cares where the food came from or what the food is? It's easier to eat at a table. You weren't eating. The logical solution is for you to take the bench, IMO.
She may have been rude but you were inconsiderate. I think you should have gone to the bench to read when you first noticed the situation. That would have been mouch simpler than 4 people, including a toddler, trying to have a meal without a table.
Exactly this. They were more rude while you were inconsiderate.