Would you bother trying to repair this relationshi

[Deleted]

No, I'd just let this one go. Especially since you are leaving, he may seem important now but once you get into a new job he'll just seem like an old coworker and nothing more.

Sounds like he's being kind of a dick and it should really be on him to reach out. I mean you had a baby, a decent friend would at least say congratulations and act like he cares.

[vanillacourage]

I would be genuine in my goodbyes to him but would not try to keep in touch.

[ECB]

You seem like you're almost upset that he's now shunning you. But isn't that kind of what you wanted - to not be friends w/ him?

My take- on your last day, say goodbye to him as you will to everyone else. But I don't think I'd go out of my way to "check in" on him.

[holly116]

No, and I wouldn't give it a second thought.

I barely have time to keep up with friends and former colleagues that are awesome. This guy can't handle himself, he's the one who stepped out of line and now he's shunning you? Ick. Move on to your new job and leave his drama behind.

[holly116]

Duplicate..

[ECB]

Dec 20, 2012 10:40:33 GMT -5 @msstarry said:

I think I am disappointed that I lacked judgement of his character and hoped he was actually a really good person who said a stupid thing one time. We really were rather close - like we would go out from 5-11 PM one or two Fridays a month (with a few other people), and I thought I knew him but I guess I didn't. (I fully recognize he still might be a good person at heart or whatever but that's sort of irrelevant at this point)

Your advice seems good.

I feel like this is going to sound like I'm defending him but I'm not. It's more to channel his perspective on how things unfolded and maybe give you a little more understanding to his change.

Did you ever actually tell him what your issue was, or did you just tell other people and pull away from him?

I ask because if you never talked to him, think about what HIS perception is. One week you all are really close and talk a lot, then the next week you've suddenly changed in your attitude towards him.

This happened 4 months ago, 3 of which you weren't there, and YOU know why you pulled away, and you're still a little "surprised" at his cold shoulder. If his behavior is a little surprising/unexpected, think about what his perception of the situation is.

And now he's had over 3 months to stew on this and has decided to be cold to you. Or... maybe he knows you talked about him, but not TO him, and he's pissed. Or....

This does NOT excuse what he said, but I highly doubt he has any clue (w/o someone cluing him in) that what he said was so offensive to you. I'm also not saying this to tell you to reach out to him. In the end, if this is how he's acting, AND he made that comment - you probably really don't want him in your life.

Plus, on the flip side, you were out for 3 months w/ a HUGE life changing event. As said - if he were really a friend, he would have reached out when you left, or at a minimum, reached out when you came back to try and regain some of what was lost.

As he didn't, well, as you mentioned, it speaks to his overall character.

[limey]

Oh hell no.

Just say goodbye to everyone, including him, but don't do any more than that.

I do have to wonder if ECB isn't on to something. Does he know how/why you feel this way?

[dr.girlfriend]

Let it go. You're never going to see him again, are you?