do you have a nanny service in your area? They might know about nannies looking for a short term gig (i.e. going back to school full time in the fall?)
do you have a nanny service in your area? They might know about nannies looking for a short term gig (i.e. going back to school full time in the fall?)
There is a nanny service (or several), but it is not cost effective to use for such a short term. Blowing $2,000 to find a nanny seems silly if we're not using her for long term.
If we opt to fire her then we'll probably post on the local list serve to see if someone is trying to place their nanny with a new family (typically there are 1-2 families doing this at any time). If that doesn't' work then we'll post on care.com and probably do a paid trial over a weekend.
For now DH is leaning toward not firing her because finding a new nanny would really suck. But if she doesn't call us back soon then he may change his mind. Even if this was all a miscommunication he still thinks she should call and explain ASAP since we both attempted to contact her this morning. Even if she was flying home today then she should be home now (the flight was 4 hours). I don't think she'll call, she'll probably come in on Wednesday with some excuse.
So she asked for the day off, you said no, then she took it off anyway? Yeah, she'd be fired at my house.
No she never asked for the day off. I would have been fine with that. I could have taken off, DH could have taken off, our temp nanny could have filled in. My in laws could have had the kids on Sunday/Monday. We have tons of back up options right now. I have never denied her requests for time off. She generally takes about 12-15 days off (10 days of vacation that are in her contact + other days as needed.)
She simply did not show up today. It is almost 5:00 pm here and we still haven't heard from her.
Let's start taking bets as to excuses. I'm going with "My plane was delayed and I lost my cell phone charger"
I think she's going with --"I though you were off".
Oh, so then it shouldn't be a surprise to her that she won't be paid for the day, right?
Yeah, no. DH and I were off this week and we still sent the kids to school for a few days. We have to pay anyway and it gave us time to do things we wanted/needed to do. Just because her employers might have been off doesn't mean she wasn't expected to work, especially absent a specific vacation request.
I think she's going with --"I though you were off".
Oh, so then it shouldn't be a surprise to her that she won't be paid for the day, right?
Yeah, no. DH and I were off this week and we still sent the kids to school for a few days. We have to pay anyway and it gave us time to do things we wanted/needed to do. Just because her employers might have been off doesn't mean she wasn't expected to work, especially absent a specific vacation request.
Even if she thought you had the day off, shouldn't she have checked with you? I would still make it an unpaid day and the last warning before firing IF I believed her.
I agree with everyone in that she should be fired if she doesn't have a valid reason for not coming/calling. However, I think you are being very callous about her FIL dying. I was only married a few years when my SFIL died and I disliked him. I was still sad for my H and my MIL. Yes, you gave her a lot of time off, but this is a separate issue IMO. If she has a history of no calls/no shows you should suck it up and find someone reliable.
I agree with everyone in that she should be fired if she doesn't have a valid reason for not coming/calling. However, I think you are being very callous about her FIL dying. I was only married a few years when my SFIL died and I disliked him. I was still sad for my H and my MIL. Yes, you gave her a lot of time off, but this is a separate issue IMO. If she has a history of no calls/no shows you should suck it up and find someone reliable.
I MY FIL died I'd be heart broken. My nanny has told me she doesn't care or really feel anything about it. Regardless the death of the FIL doesn't change her oblications to my family. I would have gladly given her the day off if she had given my able time to make arrangements.
I think she's going with --"I though you were off".
Oh, so then it shouldn't be a surprise to her that she won't be paid for the day, right? Yeah, no. DH and I were off this week and we still sent the kids to school for a few days. We have to pay anyway and it gave us time to do things we wanted/needed to do. Just because her employers might have been off doesn't mean she wasn't expected to work, especially absent a specific vacation request.
I pay her for my paid holidays. There are 9 of them. I am fairly certain she worked NYE in 2010. I think in 2011 it might have fallen over a weekend. At any rate today was a work day for me, which means she should have been here per our agreement.
Please update when you hear from her. If she really just blew you off, I hope you can fire her on the spot on Wednesday (if that's what you're going to do).
Is there another family you could nanny share with for the short term?
I was a nanny. The only times I didn't show up on time were when the schedule was changed and I wasn't notified and when I was hit by a car on my bicycle. I would have called her because it may have just been a misunderstanding.
Also, it would be downright shady to hire someone without letting them know about the short term length of it.
I feel for you OP. Nanny issues are tough. Before we got a nanny, my friend (who has had one for years) told me that all nannies have issues. You just need to find the nanny whose issues you can deal with. I would probably start looking for a new nanny. 9 months is plenty of time for a new one.
my friend (who has had one for years) told me that all nannies have issues.
I don't know why this is surprising. No nanny is perfect. No matter what they will probably do something irritating, how can you have someone in your house 40 hours a week and not be annoyed about something?
I don't know why this is surprising. No nanny is perfect. No matter what they will probably do something irritating, how can you have someone in your house 40 hours a week and not be annoyed about something?
Go onto the main board and make a blanket statement about how "all receptionists", "all doctors", or "all teachers" have issues and I'm sure it would go over real well.
I don't know why this is surprising. No nanny is perfect. No matter what they will probably do something irritating, how can you have someone in your house 40 hours a week and not be annoyed about something?
Go onto the main board and make a blanket statement about how "all receptionists", "all doctors", or "all teachers" have issues and I'm sure it would go over real well.
You used to be a nanny, right? Sorry. I didn't mean to insult. I just know tons and tons of people with nannies and everyone has had issues. Some minor and doable and some huge and ridiculous. It is a tough relationship - part employer/employee and part something else
my friend (who has had one for years) told me that all nannies have issues.
How about everyone has issues. You could send me the best mom on this board as my nanny, and I'd find something I disagreed with. That's just the nature of letting someone, and especially watching someone, take care of your kids. No one is going to so it the same way you would, whether that's right or wrong.
I would fire her immediately -- esp b/c she has done it in the past (if it was a one time thing, and had a good reason - like she was in a car accident and lost her phone and was almost dead or something then I'd give her another chance)
You really want to leave your CHILDREN with someone THAT irresponsible??? she obviously doesn't give a shit about your family or her job - so why would you think she is going to care for your children in a responsible manner?
No way would I leave my children alone with her again.
Post by fortmyersbride on Jan 1, 2013 9:42:48 GMT -5
Again, I find the attitude that "all nannies have issues, you just have to learn to deal with with them" sad. You don't, and you shouldn't. If I felt like it wasn't possible to find good individuals to take care of my kids in my home, I wouldn't be using nanny care. Yes, it can involve a lot of interviewing and oftentimes a low threshold for letting someone go who isn't a good fit for your family (and an extensive contract to back to you up). And if those things sound exhaustive, then I wouldn't be looking in to nanny care. I can honestly say I took no issues with our first nanny of 2.5 yrs and would have moved her and her husband across the country with us when we relocated if he had had job prospects in the new location. We even talked about it. We still miss them, and will likely visit them this summer. Our current nanny is equally wonderful.
Post by speckledfrog on Jan 1, 2013 11:38:29 GMT -5
I'm surprised that so many people are having trouble with "all nannies have issues." All of everyone has issues. There is no one perfect employee. There are great employees but that doesn't mean they are perfect. When I worked I was awesome at my job and my employer really appreciated my talents and what I brought to the company. That doesn't mean I wasn't flawed.
I'm surprised that so many people are having trouble with "all nannies have issues." All of everyone has issues. There is no one perfect employee. There are great employees but that doesn't mean they are perfect. When I worked I was awesome at my job and my employer really appreciated my talents and what I brought to the company. That doesn't mean I wasn't flawed.
really- nobody is saying anyone is PERFECT as a human or even at their job- but when someone says "all nannies have issues" I can see why others would take offense if they have a nanny they LOVE and have NOT had issues with... or they ARE a nanny themselves and take great pride in their work. That doesnt;' mean they all think they are perfect.
I for one, don't trust nannies enough to have one full time.... and i WAS a nanny - a VERY good one - but now as a mom I just don't have enough trust to leave my kid (esp a baby who can't talk) at home all day with one person... hence, why I used a daycare center -with tons of accountabilty (many teachers, a director, and video cameras all over). We all have our own comfort level.
But i don't think any parent should feel comfortable leaving their kids with a nanny that has THIS many issues - and cares so little that they have made a habit out of not coming in/not calling. No amount of money would matter to me - if I can't feel totally comfortable leaving my children with someone- I couldn't function at work.
1. You are far beyond a good working relationship now and frankly, it isn't smart to leave someone you so outwardly dislike alone with your kids. She knows you don't like her and she clearly doesn't think much of you either. Let her go TODAY.
2. Yes, all nanny/employer relationships have issues, but I worked for 5 families and NEVER did I miss a day without calling. Ever. And if my employer didn't like something I was doing and vice versa, we talked about it! Open communication is key. Any relationship will sour under the circumstances you are describing.
3. Using the "it's too hard" excuse to find a replacement -- THESE ARE YOUR CHILDREN! Are you effing kidding me? You could have signed up for care.com and lined up a half dozen interviews for this week in the time it is taking you to write all these updates. January is the a great time for new nannies to hit the market. Recent college grads and contract expirations flood the nanny market.
Stop sulking and get busy replacing her. Honestly, if you don't any future issues will be solely your own fault. She is showing you who she is -- believe her!
I'm surprised that so many people are having trouble with "all nannies have issues." All of everyone has issues. There is no one perfect employee. There are great employees but that doesn't mean they are perfect. When I worked I was awesome at my job and my employer really appreciated my talents and what I brought to the company. That doesn't mean I wasn't flawed.
This doesn't seem out of the ordinary in the nanny world, unfortunately.
Nevertheless, you won't have to worry about firing her because she's not coming back. I own a couple of businesses and this has happened to me plenty of times. Once they don't show up, they're done.