Nanny no call/no show

[hocus]

Our nanny no called no showed today.

I am trying to decide what to do. I do not want to fire her, mainly because my kids will go to daycare in September and I don't want to hire someone for 9 months. She's generally a good nanny, though we had this issue in the past at the end of her vacation last year.

She will not be paid for today (obviously) or tomorrow which is normally a paid holiday. I was thinking about what else I might do. I don't want to be vindictive but I'm really pissed. We had a temp nanny all last week because she's home for funeral. Our temp was free today and so there was no reason why she didn't arrange for coverage or at least call me to tell me she wasn't coming in.

[ijack]

have you talked to her? what was her excuse? I think if you don't fire her it sends the message that it's okay for her to do this.

[hocus]

She no called/no showed today so I won't talk to her until Wednesday. I have no idea what her "excuse" will be. Perhapes she though I was off work.

[ijack]

Why aren't you calling her to see where she is? If my nanny just didn't show up you can bet your ass I'd be tracking her down.

[discombobulated]

Are you sure she knew she was to work today? A lot of people have today off.

[hocus]

Dec 31, 2012 10:21:10 GMT -5 ijack said:

Why aren't you calling her to see where she is? If my nanny just didn't show up you can bet your ass I'd be tracking her down.

I calle. DH texted. No response yet. She might be flying home today. Or she might be ignoring me. It doesn't matter now. I have my father in law here helping.

[hocus]

Dec 31, 2012 10:22:06 GMT -5 discombobulated said:

Are you sure she knew she was to work today? A lot of people have today off.

Yes I am sure. When she asked off for last week we spoke about it.

[Deleted]

Ugh that sucks! Do you like the temp nanny? Would she like a semi-permanent 9-month contract? ;-) At the very least, I would make it clear to your current nanny that a no call/no show is unacceptable. She may still be grieving for whatever family member passed away, and needing an extra day is understandable, but she has to call first.

[hocus]

Dec 31, 2012 10:23:45 GMT -5 @fivedogs said:

What does your contract say? I'd tell her that the next time she doesn't call, you'll have to find alternate care.

Also, while I wouldn't want to pay her for tomorrow, if taking away paid vacation as punishment for not calling is not in your contract, then you might want to rethink that decision.

I know that it sucks to find a nanny, but I would absolutely consider finding someone else for 6 or 9 months to avoid hassles like this.

This is not addressed in an formal contact. I am not paying her for tomorrow. That is not up for negation. She's been out since before Christmas for a funeral which is far more time then most people get for such issues.

[hocus]

Dec 31, 2012 10:24:34 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

Ugh that sucks! Do you like the temp nanny? Would she like a semi-permanent 9-month contract? ;-) At the very least, I would make it clear to your current nanny that a no call/no show is unacceptable. She may still be grieving for whatever family member passed away, and needing an extra day is understandable, but she has to call first.

Her husband's father died. She barely knew him (they married only 5 years ago). I don't think she is home "grieving". She was pretty pissed she had to miss a christmas party beause of all this if that gives you a frame of refernce of where her head is at.

[birdmom]

Dec 31, 2012 10:23:45 GMT -5 @fivedogs said:

Also, while I wouldn't want to pay her for tomorrow, if taking away paid vacation as punishment for not calling is not in your contract, then you might want to rethink that decision.

I thought it was standard to not pay someone if they called out or no call/no showed the day before or after a paid holiday. I know things work different with nannies, but I definitely wouldn't pay her for the holiday. I'd be pissed, especially since you'd spoken about it.

[ilikedonuts]

I would be finding temporary childcare for the next 9 months. The fact that this is the 2nd time she has done this is ridiculous and by not firing her you are letting her know that its fine to take advantage of you.

[Deleted]

I would leave a first message expressing concern that something bad had happened.

I would wait until the end of her shift and then leave a second message that no call/ no show is in violation of her contract. This is her only warning, and you will be finding alternate care if she violates again. I would NOT dock her holiday pay for this.

Do you have any emergency contact for her? Call that #. Ask if she is ill or in the hospital

[Deleted]

You seem dead set on not paying her for tommorow. However if that is not in her contract you could be leaving yourself open for legal issues.

If you are really that angry you need to fire her and find a temp nanny for 9 months.

[Deleted]

I'd fire her so fast the doorknob would indent her ass.

[livinitup]

Since the issue is that you don't trust her to not no-show again, I would say that if she wants to continue in your employment she needs to text you each day that she is on the way. That seems clunky and awkward, but she certainly hasn't earned your trust that she will, in fact, show up for work every day. Without something concrete to confirm it every day, I would worry every day.

[Becca]

Assuming that something awful hasn't happened that has kept her from coming to work, I can't believe not firing her over this. You are giving her permission to just not show up to work whenever she wants. And this is the second time? Why in the world do you let her get away with this?

[pugz]

can her fucking ass

[KaraOrNot]

I would have fired her the first time it happened.

[Deleted]

Dec 31, 2012 10:23:31 GMT -5 hocus said:

Dec 31, 2012 10:21:10 GMT -5 ijack said:

Why aren't you calling her to see where she is? If my nanny just didn't show up you can bet your ass I'd be tracking her down.

I calle. DH texted. No response yet. She might be flying home today. Or she might be ignoring me. It doesn't matter now. I have my father in law here helping.

I would be done with her.

The no call/no show is irresponsible. But I see two bigger problems here:
1) lack of communication even after the fact. It sounds like she's dodging your calls--and you don't expect to talk to her until Wednesday?! Doesn't compute for someone you need to be able to communicate very openly with.
2) you seem angry with her (understandably) to the point where you said you want to avoid being vindictive. Who's to say she doesn't feel the same--or won't after she loses holiday pay for a day she was given in her contract? Usually ill feelings are not one-sided, and I wouldn't want to risk leaving my children with a caregiver who wasn't 100% invested and happy with my family.

[mollybrown]

I would have fired her already. 9 months is a long time in the nanny world, so I'd be perfectly happy to get someone else. The fact that she hasn't called or texted back would be the nail in the coffin.

[birdmom]

Dec 31, 2012 11:54:04 GMT -5 @fivedogs said:

Dec 31, 2012 10:29:04 GMT -5 birdmom said:

I thought it was standard to not pay someone if they called out or no call/no showed the day before or after a paid holiday. I know things work different with nannies, but I definitely wouldn't pay her for the holiday. I'd be pissed, especially since you'd spoken about it.

I have no idea about this - I've only been salaried in my full-time jobs, and if I no-showed today, I would be disciplined/fired/etc. - it wouldn't affect my pay. I wouldn't want to pay her for tomorrow either, but I would just fire her instead of "punishing" her (especially if there is nothing in writing about whether she was supposed to work today and she could just claim a misunderstanding/travel plan mixup). But I have no patience with nannies not showing up/calling out excessively - ours called out 4 weeks out of the year she worked for us, and I was just done. I wouldn't deal with this for another 9 months.

I'm salaried as well, but the guys that work for us are hourly. That's how it works for holiday pay here, as well as for the place I worked before this. If I were a no call no show, the same thing happens to me that happens to you. It depends on how they pay their nanny, I would guess. I'm not sure if nannies are paid hourly or salary. I agree with you...I would not have patience for that, because now the OP is scrambling for child care, and it's not the first time. I'm sure another nanny could be found for the next 9 months.

[hocus]

Dec 31, 2012 11:25:08 GMT -5 KaraOrNot said:

I would have fired her the first time it happened.

I'll be honest I would prefer to fire her, though I think a replacement might have issues as well. No nanny is perfect. Our temp nanny was pretty bad in her own way (e.g. late on first day, needed a lot of reminders about the schedual, was too soft on the kids, etc).

My husband is reluctand to fire her as she's generally be a good nanny, knows the kids, knows the routine. The kids like her etc. We had no issues our first year. One issue last year and now today. We also have to consider the 9 month issue. It is hard to find a nanny who is good who will take a 9 month assignment.

[isabel]

As a babysitter, the only time I ever no showed for something was when the mom and I had our dates mixed up. She called me when I was late and I rushed over there. It bothers me that you haven't heard back from her. Very irresponsible.

Also, by state law here, when our employees work a holiday but then call out for the shift prior to or after the holiday, they are not eligible for the double-time pay they would normally receive. I think you are completely within your rights to not pay her for the holiday (and obviously not for today).

[CloudBee]

I'm really thrown off that your initial instinct is that she's ignoring you, purposely not showing up, etc. She could have been hit by a car, a family member may have died unexpectedly, etc.

[hocus]

Dec 31, 2012 12:46:47 GMT -5 BirdGirl said:

Dec 31, 2012 12:19:01 GMT -5 hocus said:

I'll be honest I would prefer to fire her, though I think a replacement might have issues as well. No nanny is perfect. Our temp nanny was pretty bad in her own way (e.g. late on first day, needed a lot of reminders about the schedule, was too soft on the kids, etc).

My husband is reluctant to fire her as she's generally be a good nanny, knows the kids, knows the routine. The kids like her etc. We had no issues our first year. One issue last year and now today. We also have to consider the 9 month issue. It is hard to find a nanny who is good who will take a 9 month assignment.

You don't tell them it's a nine month assignment. Why can't your kids start daycare now? While no nanny is perfect, I've never had my nanny not show up in 2 years.

No childcare in our area will take my younger child until he's 2. That means 8 to 9 months of continued nanny care. Probably 9 months since a lot of daycares in the area close for a week in August and it seems silly to put my kids in and then have to find coverage for a week.

As to the new nanny option: I know that I wouldn't have to tell the new nanny it is a nine month assignment but would prefer not to do it that way. Given that I work from home and the nanny is here all the time keeping secrets like that are a pain. Not to mention I believe it is better to be honest. I know I have no obligation there -- it just feels better to me.

My DH is waiting to here from her. I've asked him to hear her out as to why she's not here since I think he's less likely to be sucked into a sob story and she generally respects his authority better. (another long standing issue unrelated to this). Depending on his read of the situation we'll either tell her she's not being paid, look for a replacement and fire once we find one (1-2 weeks would be my guess on that time line). Or we could have immediate consequences for this ino call/no show and try to move forward.

[hocus]

Dec 31, 2012 12:52:34 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

I'm really thrown off that your initial instinct is that she's ignoring you, purposely not showing up, etc. She could have been hit by a car, a family member may have died unexpectedly, etc.

I am really not sure why you think it wrong to assume she intentionally didn't show up today.

She has done this before at the end of extended time off.

I know her family (her cousin was my temp nanny, and her close friend is my other back up). I've met her daughter who did not go on this trip as it was her stepfather's dad who died. I am certain I would have heard by now if something had happened.

When you're walked in my shoes come judge me. I've known this women almost 3 years. I think my instincts are correct.

[ijack]

Then I think it really says something about your nanny and your views of her. If my first thought was "damn, the nanny didn't show or call again today" and not "oh, I hope she's okay" I would be finding a new nanny.

[hocus]

Dec 31, 2012 13:10:19 GMT -5 ijack said:

Then I think it really says something about your nanny and your views of her. If my first thought was "damn, the nanny didn't show or call again today" and not "oh, I hope she's okay" I would be finding a new nanny.

I don't like my nanny as a person. I wish I did. I trust her with the kids and she is devoted to them but if I had to do is all over again would have gotten a new nanny after the first year. We have many long standing issues though none as signfigant as her 2 no call/no shows in the past 3 years. I came very close to firing her year ago over but didn't as she ran into signifigant financial issues around that same time. With 9 months left to go I was hoping we could just hold on as experince with temp nannies to fill in from time to time has shown that no one is perfect. A new nanny just means different issues, not less issues.

[fortmyersbride]

If it turns out that she no showed on purpose, I would outright fire her. We have very strict wording in our contract when it comes to tardiness and absence not related to illness or emergency. I cannot imagine tolerating such purposeful behavior.

Also, I think it's really sad that you think you have to put up with mediocre nanny care. If you don't particularly care for someone as a person or the way they behave around you, you deserve a better nanny. There are many so-so nannies out there, there are also some bad nannies out there, but there are also some wonderful ones. And you and your children deserve to find a better one, so start the interview process up! Maybe you'll find someone who wants to start grad school or some such thing in the fall, and a nanny job till then would be the perfect temp job. My family still loves and misses the nanny we had for the first 2.5 yrs of DS's life. He still face times with her and we send holiday gifts. Our current nanny is awesome too, awesome to the point that I really want to set her up with my brother if it wouldn't cross some serious employer-employee lines. We've had a couple of mediocre ones in the mix as well, but I didn't keep them around a day longer than I had to once they tested my boundaries or otherwise violated their contracts.