H's Mom is Nuts..

[Deleted]

...she offered us her house she's living in now.

It's a big 2 story house with a lot of stuff Pops did to it.He updated the kitchen, painted it, planted stuff in the yard, made a back porch, created a faux fireplace...he touched everything.

She currently has 4 rental properties and is buying another one. She is considering moving into the one she's building now. Its smaller and won't have the memories attached to it. She cited what I said above as the reasons why she could never rent it out or selling it, but she thinks it will be too much house.

I'm humbled by her offer. H isn't sure. We told her we would think about it. She has so much on her mind right now and this was the last thing we expected. My SIL and BIL (whom I've never met..and frankly, I can't stand BIL..he's a conman douchebagcanoenozzle) are coming down this weekend from Cali and it will be her first time back in the house, so we're going from there.

I just don't know what to think right now. If it's going to be hard for Mom to live there, then I think it will be harder for L to live there because of how close he was to his dad.

[OrangePixyStix]

Wow, that is a big decision. I can imagine your MIL would prefer to keep the house within the family with all that was done and all the memories surrounding it, but I can understand how your H would feel if it brings back constant memories. I'm sure you will come to a decision that is best for all involved, and sorry to hear MIL is having a tough time in her current home.

[Deleted]

She's only gone back twice or three times..mostly just to get some necessities. She's been staying at SILs house. (Granted, Pops died in the house...so its hard on her).

[louietunes]

That's a tough one. She could just be in shock and making rash decisions, so I would initially say to hold off on giving her an answer at all until you know she's in a stable state of mind. But, then, if BIL is as much of a douchenozzle as you say, he might take advantage of the situation, in which case I'd claim the house asap so he can't screw MIL over.

I really hope she and YH are doing alright. I really feel for them.

[Deleted]

We're waiting for her to make her choice first. The houses were all in Mom and Pops' names, without right of survivorship so SIL has to sign over her 1/3 of Pops' 1/2 (he didn't have a will). We're HOPING things go over smooth since BIL (douchecanoe) REALLY wants MILs house. I'll fucking kill him if he even THINKS of mentioning anything about it.

Louie, I think they're doing as good as can be expected after one week. H didn't get asked questions at work (only by like 2 people who left him alone after that) so he was happy. He's just buried himself in work so that's good. Mom is going to meet with a lawyer today and get everything sorted out for the houses, etc. I just pray this week goes smoothly. She needs it.

[sapphire bou]

Why does BIL want the house if he lives in Cali?

Very good advice MIL got from the funeral director when her husband died two years ago is to not make any big decision in the first year after his death.

[louietunes]

May 29, 2012 10:26:31 GMT -5 sapphire bou said:

Why does BIL want the house if he lives in Cali?

Very good advice MIL got from the funeral director when her husband died two years ago is to not make any big decision in the first year after his death.

:Y:

[Deleted]

May 29, 2012 10:26:31 GMT -5 sapphire bou said:

Why does BIL want the house if he lives in Cali?

Very good advice MIL got from the funeral director when her husband died two years ago is to not make any big decision in the first year after his death.

He's ALWAYS wanted it. ALWAYS. Mom said if he paid for it (while she lived there) then paid it off, its his. I don't know WHY he wants it. Its going to stay between the three families in Texas.

My mom told her that too, Sapphire. She was planning on building the new house with Pops before he died, so she is going to go on with that. She just doesn't know if she wants to do all the upgrades or if she wants to keep it blah and rent it just yet.

[sapphire bou]

May 29, 2012 10:34:50 GMT -5 skippingstones said:

May 29, 2012 10:26:31 GMT -5 sapphire bou said:

Why does BIL want the house if he lives in Cali?

Very good advice MIL got from the funeral director when her husband died two years ago is to not make any big decision in the first year after his death.

He's ALWAYS wanted it. ALWAYS. Mom said if he paid for it (while she lived there) then paid it off, its his. I don't know WHY he wants it. Its going to stay between the three families in Texas.

My mom told her that too, Sapphire. She was planning on building the new house with Pops before he died, so she is going to go on with that. She just doesn't know if she wants to do all the upgrades or if she wants to keep it blah and rent it just yet.

My fear is that BIL will sell it. I really hope she doesn't even consider letting him have it and that it does stay between the three families in Texas. Your MIL might want to move back after the shock has worn off.

If they were already building a house, yeah finish. When I said don't make any big decision, I meant with her current house. She doesn't want to make a decision she'll later regret.

I'm praying for your family and that nothing turns into a big mess.

[Deleted]

Sapphire, if SIL signs over her 1/3, he can't touch it. If he raises a stink about money, the will, etc. they are BOTH cut out of Mom's life and when she writes a will it will go to L and his baby sister, and that's it.

H is certain he wants to stay here..We more than likely will. I love her house but its her choice.

[sapphire bou]

May 29, 2012 10:47:29 GMT -5 skippingstones said:

Sapphire, if SIL signs over her 1/3, he can't touch it. If he raises a stink about money, the will, etc. they are BOTH cut out of Mom's life and when she writes a will it will go to L and his baby sister, and that's it.

H is certain he wants to stay here..We more than likely will. I love her house but its her choice.

Okay, good. I worry about these things. I hate when good people get screwed over.

[lizo11]

Good luck! I hope it all works out for you guys and your MIL and that your BIL doesn't kick up too much dust and drama.

[Deleted]

Liz,again, thank you for the card. H and I appreciate it so much.

And I HOPE BIL realizes the situation and isn't a dick. I can make him disappear.

[ILikeSloths]

Wow. That is a very kind offer and a big decision.

I don't have anything else to add that hasn't already been said about the concerns, but let us know what you decide.

[Deleted]

I will. We will more than likely stay in our current house.

[lizo11]

May 29, 2012 14:06:24 GMT -5 skippingstones said:

Liz,again, thank you for the card. H and I appreciate it so much.

And I HOPE BIL realizes the situation and isn't a dick. I can make him disappear.

You are most welcome!!